Coming Back to You
by Cordee
Summary: Lucas has finally decided that Brooke Davis is the girl for him. Will they be able to re-unite in the face of tragedy, or will they say good-bye forever? Brucas.
1. Waiting For the Miracle

**So, this is my very first fanfic, ever. This is a Brucas tale, and the focus will be on them, although we will see some other characters pop in and out. ****Seasons 1 - 4 happened. After that, I'm taking some liberties with the plotline. I'm picking it up at about the point season 5 would have started.**

**Of course, I do not claim to own OTH or any of the related characters.**

**Feedback, especially constructive criticism is very welcome!**

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**Chapter 1: Waiting For the Miracle**

_Baby, I've been waiting, I've been waiting night and day. I didn't see the time; I've been waiting half my life away. There were lots of invitations, and I know you sent me some, but I was waiting for the miracle; for the miracle to come. - __Leonard Cohen_

The view was amazing. Most days, Brooke Davis didn't have time to enjoy it. In fact, she rarely returned home, except to sleep. There was too much to be done: meetings to attend, sketches to draw, calls to take, parties to attend and decisions – endless decisions – to make. But, today was different. Her Blackberry was turned off, her land line was unplugged and her laptop was tucked away in her roll-top desk. As she had informed her assistant, Tatiana, today she was incommunicado. Well, except for the iPhone clutched in her left hand. Her personal phone, less than a dozen people has this number. She was focused on one thing and one thing only – the call. _The_ call that would change everything.

Brooke stared down at Central Park far, far below. She could see there were quite a few people enjoying the crisp November afternoon. It was unseasonably warm. She wished she could be like them, carefree, happy to enjoy the sunlight and the way it reflected off the skyscrapers and illuminated the leaves in the trees. Instead, her mind was 500 miles away…in Durham, North Carolina to be precise.

She glanced down at her phone. Of course, she hadn't received a call yet. It was just past 1:30. He wasn't due to land for another three and a half hours. Hell, he hasn't even gotten on the plane, yet! Brooke smiled to herself. She ran her finger across the display on her iPhone. She wanted to call him, to hear his voice and be reassured… but she resisted the urge. She had to wait, just like she had been waiting for the last five, no six, years. She had been waiting ever since senior year, when she had stepped aside so her boyfriend and best friend could be together. They were soulmates; it was fate, they had both proclaimed. Brooke had known differently, but she had remained quiet and let them find out for themselves. They wouldn't have listened to her at that point, anyway. It had broken her heart, but she couldn't bear to lose two of the most important people in her world.

Somehow, she always knew Lucas would come back for her – as he had told her many years ago – he was the guy for her. Sure, they had remained friends; they talked, they laughed and they even cried together. It wasn't the same – she wanted his heart; she wanted _him_. After last night, she was pretty sure she had his heart, at least. Then again, she thought she had it before…only to see him run into the arms of her best friend…twice.

"What am I doing?" she whispered, not even realizing she was speaking out loud.

Here she was: founder, CEO and chief designer for Clothes over Bros., one of the fastest-growing fashion labels in North America, sitting in her fabulous penthouse obsessing over a _boy_. In business, she was a force to be reckoned with – Brooke Davis always got what she wanted. Except the boy. She sighed. She didn't want to think about what she would do if he didn't come back to her. She wasn't up to dealing with the heartbreak a third time.

Brooke jumped, nearly dropping her phone as it suddenly vibrated to life in her hand. It was still too early… she looked at the name on the display and her stomach dropped. P. Sawyer. Brooke briefly considered letting it go to voicemail. No, she had to answer. Peyton was her best friend, her sister. Brooke knew things were not well with Peyton and things would soon become much worse. She picked up, trying to sound cheery and carefree. "Hey, P. Sawyer!"

"Brooke, I need to talk." Peyton didn't sound like herself – her voice seemed strained, but there was an undercurrent of strength in her tone.

Brooke's heart fluttered. "Oh? About what?" Brooke rested her forehead against the window. Did Peyton know?

"Well…remember when we last talked and how I told you that things with Lucas weren't good?" she gave a short, bitter laugh. "Bad, in fact? Very bad?"

Brooke closed her eyes. Of course she remembered. She had seen it coming for ages. "Yes," she whispered.

Peyton sighed. "Can I come see you this weekend?"

Brooke's eyes snapped open. If she was asking to visit, she obviously didn't know. _What the hell's going on? _"Peyton, what's going on? Talk to me."

"I'm doing it, Brooke. I made a decision. I'm pulling the trigger."

"Trigger?!" The first thought that popped into her head was that Peyton had a gun. She became even more confused when Peyton laughed.

"Brooke, I mean the trigger on my relationship with Lucas. I'm done. I'm telling him tonight." Peyton paused.

Brooke sank down on to the hardwood floor, barely noticing that she was no longer standing. Her legs just seemed unable to support her weight. Peyton was ending it with Lucas? She tried to speak; Peyton was waiting for her to say something, but she couldn't find her voice. After all she had been through, what they had all been through, Peyton and Lucas each decided to break it off on the _exact same day_? Brooke was speechless.

"Brooke? Still there?" Peyton sounded worried.

Brooke breathed deeply. "Yes, I'm here. Of course I'm here. But…what – why?"

"Look, I promise, I will tell you everything when I see you. There's a lot of shit I haven't told anyone, not even Luke… Brooke, this is going to be a fucking mess. You aren't going to believe what a bloodbath this is going to be. You don't understand how bad this is going to be. That's why Sawyer is with Derek and Michelle. I don't want her around for this, even if she is only two months old." Peyton paused. "I might seem like I'm being overdramatic. Trust me, I'm not. I'm just so damn miserable, Brooke. I've been ready to walk for over a year. But, I found out about Sawyer and I- I just couldn't –" Peyton's voice cracked, and she let out a sob.

"Peyton, sweetie, don't cry. It will be okay." The word tumbled out instinctively, but Brooke's mind was racing. "But, what's changed? Why now?"

Peyton sniffled and then was silent for a moment. "I made a mistake, Brooke. When he showed up in L.A. two years ago, asking me to marry him, I should have said no. I should have stayed in L.A. I shouldn't have let my dreams die. I should have done what my heart told me to do instead of letting a stupid novel influence my decision. Just because someone is your soulmate, it doesn't mean you're meant to love them for the rest of your life. Sometimes, you're meant to let them go. I believed in the fairy tale for too long. It's killing me. It's time I woke up."

Both women were quiet for a moment. Brooke was shocked, still. For Peyton to be so self-aware… it was not the Peyton she was used to. And hazy memories of things Lucas had told her last night were resurfacing. Maybe this was not wholly unexpected… did Lucas anticipate this break-up?

Finally, Peyton broke the silence. "So, is it okay if I come up for the weekend? I think I'll need some time to re-group. And, I really need my Brooke."

"Peyton, of course you can come. You're always welcome, here." What choice did she have? Something big had happened…or was about to happen. The way she described the impending break-up with Lucas…"a bloodbath", "a fucking mess." Peyton would need her best friend. "We'll get the guest room ready for you. Are you bringing Sawyer?"

"No, she'll be fine with Derek. I just need to be alone with my best friend this weekend. After all, B. Davis, you are great at figuring your way out of tough situations. Maybe you could help me with mine. Although, I think you'll be surprised by the mess I've gotten myself into this time…even this may be beyond your powers."

"Oh, Peyton. Of course I'll help, if I can. When do you think you might be coming?"

"I haven't booked a flight, yet. I wanted to make sure it was okay with you if I visit. I have to pick Lucas up at five o'clock, or so. Then, it'll be time for the talk…I imagine I'll be quite late getting in." Peyton cleared her throat. "Brooke…did you and Lucas end up hooking up last night?"

Brooke nearly dropped her phone. "Um, yes. We went for dinner. At _Morimoto_. I convinced Lucas to try the sashimi." _Followed by drinks and dancing at the stupid club Rachel dragged us to and still more drinks back here, _she added, silently.

"Mmmhmm." Peyton didn't appear to be listening. Brooke heard a male voice in the background, and Peyton's muffled response. "I have to go, Brooke. I'll call when I'm on my way."

"I'll be waiting. Good luck."

"Thank you, Brooke. For everything."

"That's what friends are for, right?"

"No, this is what sisters are for. See you soon."

"Bye, Peyton." Brooke hung up.

She got to her feet, walked into the living room and flopped down on the couch. She placed her phone on the coffee table in front of her. Brooke stared at it, wondering if she had imagined the entire conversation. Of all the ways she had imagined the inevitable break-up, this scenario had never occurred to her. Peyton had been ready to leave for more than a year? Since before she had even gotten pregnant with Sawyer? Brooke's heart went out to her small goddaughter. Poor baby. Even though she had two loving parents, it was hard being a child of divorce. Not that Lucas and Peyton had ever gotten married. They were only engaged… for now.

Brooke rubbed her forehead. She was getting a headache. Should she call Luke? No, it wasn't her place. She was just going to have to continue waiting. "You can't fight fate," she said, again not realizing she was talking to herself. For now, she had to stay out of the fray and trust that events would unfold the way they were meant to.


	2. Already Gone

**So, this chapter has a bit more background exposition. I wanted to really clarify where Lucas was coming from and this chapter sets the stage nicely for the next one, where everything will change for our characters. Then the action will pick up...**

**Thanks for reading and any comments are still welcome! Thanks to those who've already added me to their alerts and written some reviews!**

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****Chapter 2: Already Gone**

_"Remember all the things we wanted' n__ow our memories, they're haunted. __We were always meant to say good-bye"_

_- Kelly Clarkson_

Lucas Scott glanced at his watch. It was almost 3:30. They should be taking off soon. He settled back in his business class seat and tried to relax. He loved visiting New York and he hated leaving more. Something about the energy of the city, constantly pulsing with life and possibility – this was where she thrived. His Pretty Girl…although he lost the right to call her by that name six years ago. She was no longer his no matter fervently he wished otherwise.

He came to New York more often than necessary. His editor, Lindsay often joked that he was probably the only author in the publishing house who would drop everything at moment's notice and come see her in person – even for the most trivial matters that could be solved with a 30 minute phone call. The writing was an excuse; his true purpose was to see Brooke and drink in as much of her presence as he could. They would always meet for dinner at whatever trendy restaurant Brooke had discovered that week and talk for hours. Sometimes, Rachel would join them for a time before rushing off to some party or club, but most of the time, they were alone. He could lose himself in her warm hazel eyes, her throaty voice, her infectious laugh – and that sparkling smile. The minute she flashed that smile at him, he was a goner. He would drink her in until he could get his fill. But, it was never enough.

He wasn't able to hide his true motives from his sharp-eyed editor. Lindsay somehow knew the true reason for his frequent visits and even encouraged it. She was hoping for a sequel to _Ravens_, his autobiographical first novel. Lindsay had never been a fan of the ending: "You chose the wrong girl," she had said bluntly, after reading his original manuscript. "This Brooke brings out the best in the Lucas character. She always believed in him and loved him unconditionally. So, naturally, he goes for Peyton, the angst-ridden drama queen who can't think for herself and lacks self-awareness. She's such a two-dimensional character. It just doesn't ring true. I don't care if this is what happened in real life – it still makes no sense. And it sucks."

Of course, he couldn't change the ending by then. Still, he often wondered what his life could have been if he had chosen a different path. Regret was a familiar companion over the last few years. Lucas sighed heavily. Tonight was going to be difficult, to say the least. He was ending things with Peyton. The epic love story he had imagined for himself as a teen was crashing to an end. It was going to be heart wrenching and complicated… messy. He truly loved Peyton and he didn't want to hurt her. He now realized he was not in love with her – never had been. He now understood how closely infatuation resembled love; but it was no substitute for the real thing. Nothing compared to how he felt towards Brooke. He should have ended it with Peyton a long time ago. Now, there was a child involved; his beautiful baby girl. Lucas smiled at the thought of Sawyer. She was the only source of happiness in their relationship.

He pulled out his Blackberry and thought of calling Brooke… he needed to hear her voice. She would give him strength. No, he promised he wouldn't call until after he and Peyton had their talk. Instead, he turned his phone off. The waiting was killing him. He just wanted to get it over with, even though he was a little frightened of what would come up – he was sure Peyton had her own secrets, just like he had his. Everything would be blown wide open tonight. After tonight, everything would change…

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_Two Years Ago – Los Angeles_

_Lucas was in L.A., wrapping up a promotional tour for his first novel. He'd had a reading at a small independent bookstore off Hollywood Boulevard. It had been well-attended, but the one person he had hoped to see had not made an appearance. He was hurt that she hadn't come. Even though they had broken up the summer after graduation, they still kept in contact. She knew he was here. In fact, her apartment was only a few blocks away. It wouldn't have killed her to stop by._

_To his dismay, Lindsay had noticed Peyton's absence. "You'd think Peyton would have come to a reading of a novel that's basically a love letter to her. I know I would have if I was in her place. Brooke always comes to your readings in New York. Hell, she even came to one in Tokyo..." Lindsay was going to say more, but a glare from Lucas stopped her and she shrugged and walked away to talk to the owner of the bookstore._

_Lucas realized that a grand gesture was needed to show Peyton that he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life. So, later that evening, he found himself walking to her apartment. In his pocket was an engagement ring he had purchased a few months ago, with his first royalty check. He lost himself in visions of a wedding with his family and closest friends, free from any meddling from Dan…how beautiful Peyton would look walking up the aisle towards him. They would be together forever. Soon, he found himself at the door to Peyton's apartment. He knocked and waited._

_Peyton opened the door. "What now?" she snapped, then she caught sight of him. "Lucas!" she gasped, __shock registering across her face. "What are you doing here?"_

_He stepped forward, enveloping her in a hug, which she returned reluctantly, although he did not notice at the time. He stepped back and laughed. "Are you going to ask me in?"_

_Peyton seemed to collect herself. "Yes, of course, come in!" She closed the door behind him._

_Lucas looked around her small studio apartment. His pulse quickened as he noticed a copy of his novel sitting on her coffee table. She had read it. He had often wondered, but was too afraid to ask. This had to be a sign. He turned and looked at Peyton, really looked at her for the first time in years. Her curly blonde hair was longer, reaching half-way down her back. She seemed thinner if that was possible. She looked so fragile; her shoulders were slumped forward in a suggestion of defeat. He looked into her clear green eyes; they were red-rimmed and a little puffy, as if she had been recently crying. He reached up and brushed a stray curl off her forehead. The look in her eyes seemed so dispirited, so broken. He couldn't stand to see her looking so sad._

_Peyton's lower lip trembled under his intense gaze. "Lucas, you're here. I can't believe you're here…today of all days, you show up at my door." She began sobbing._

_Lucas pulled her close to him. "Peyton, it'll be okay. I'm here, now."_

_Her voice was muffled against his chest. "I lost my job today…I'm about to be evicted and I lost the most important –"she suddenly cut herself off._

_He held her tighter. "What did you lose?"_

_She hesitated. "Myself. I lost myself," she responded, hollowly._

_Lucas closed his eyes. He wanted to help her find herself, he wanted to make things better for her, forever. "Marry me," he whispered in her ear._

_Peyton pulled away, wiping the tears from her eyes. "What?"_

"_Marry me," Lucas repeated, pulling the ring box from his pocket and opening it to reveal a gorgeous princess cut diamond ring._

_Peyton looked into his eyes, then her glance dropped down to the ring, and back up to his steady gaze. She took the ring from the box and slipped it on her ring finger. "Yes, someday," she replied, softly._

_Lucas was too overjoyed at her acceptance to notice the look of grim determination that had settled across her features for a split second before she smiled. They stayed up all night, talking, making love, and talking some more. He didn't notice at the time that he spent more time talking than she did…he was just too excited by how easily everything was falling into place. He told her about the job offer he had received from Duke University in Durham, right near Raleigh and only 3 hours from Tree Hill. He would be an associate English professor, teaching American Literature and creative writing. They were willing to accommodate his hectic travel schedule because the university was so pleased to have a best-selling author on the faculty. In fact, they had even offered him a townhouse on campus._

"_I know it's a lot to ask, Peyton…but I was hoping you would consider coming with me to Duke. I think it would be a perfect place for us to begin the next chapter of our life together."_

_Peyton was silent for a few moments, as she considered his offer. She looked at him, determinedly. "It's perfect, Luke. There's nothing left for me here. A fresh start is just what I need. You're always rescuing me, Lucas Scott…and I love you for it."_

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Lucas was startled from his recollections by the flight attendant's announcement that the plane was on its final descent to Raleigh/Durham International. All the times he had relived the night of their engagement, he had never noticed one small detail…well, not so small. He shook his head, unable to believe he didn't see it before. That night, not once did Peyton tell him that she loved him.

Lucas just hadn't checked any luggage, so he walked through the baggage claim area, without stopping. He paused for a moment, looking for a slender figure with curly blonde hair. He finally caught sight of her, standing by the arrivals board, talking on her cell. Peyton looked tired and even from a distance; he could see the stress etched on her face. Lucas sighed and walked towards her. He watched as Peyton continued talking, oblivious to the fact he was standing only a few feet away from her. He stopped, listening to her side of the conversation.

"No, he'll be here right away. The plane just landed…Yes, I promise I'll call you as soon as I can…I know…I love you, too." She ended the call.

Lucas inhaled, sharply, his insides turning to ice. Who was she talking to? Haley, Brooke, Derek? No, it sounded different. They way she had said it…she hadn't spoken to him with so much feeling in years.

"Peyton," he said, simply, trying to keep his voice steady.

She spun around, startled. "Luke!" she exclaimed, smiling at him, nervously. The smile did not reach her eyes.

'_She's wondering how much I heard,' _he thought to himself. She opened her purse and dropped her phone inside. Then, Lucas noticed something in that quick movement…her ring finger was bare. She wasn't wearing her engagement ring.

Peyton followed his gaze. She sighed and looked heavenward. "Luke…we need to talk."

And he understood that, like him, she was already gone.

_"I'm already gone. __You can't make it feel right; w__hen you know that it's wrong. __I'm already gone. __There's no moving on. __So, I'm already gone."_

_- Kelly Clarkson_


	3. Implosion

**I've had this chapter ready for the last couple of days, but I kept tweaking it - I really wanted to get it right...I hope I did okay, because this is kind of a pivotal chapter. Let me know what you think! I really appreciate your comments!**

**Oh, and I do not own One Tree Hill - I think I forgot to mention that last time.**

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**Chapter 3 – Implosion**

"_Are you gone and on to someone new? I needed somewhere to hang my head, without your noose. You gave me something that I didn't have, but had no use. My heart is under arrest again, but I break loose. My heart is giving me life or death, but I can't choose. I swear I'll never give in, I refuse. Is someone getting the best, the best, the best of you?"_

_- Foo Fighters_

Lucas and Peyton stood in the middle of the arrivals level of Raleigh/Durham International Airport, staring at each other. People swirled around them shouting greetings to one another, hugging, kissing, chattering excitedly. Neither of them took any notice of the happy chaos surrounding them.

"_I love you, too." _She had told someone else she loved them. She could have been speaking to any number of people...but she had uttered those words in a tone that was once reserved just for him.

She wasn't wearing her engagement ring.

"_Lucas...we have to talk," _she had said.

Peyton was looking at him anxiously, waiting for him to say something.

Lucas cleared his throat. "Yeah, I think we do." He was surprised at how calm his voice seemed, how steady. He tightened the grip on his carry-on. He could already feel his adrenaline picking up, just like it used to right before he would step on the basketball court when he played fro the Tree Hill Ravens in high school.

Peyton glanced around, "Not here."

He nodded, curtly. Of course, not here! The last thing he wanted to do was go through this in the middle of a busy airport.

They walked out of the terminal and into a downpour. It was raining so hard, Lucas could barely see 20 feet ahead of him. Peyton pulled the hood of her jacket up over her head. He followed her, not caring if he got wet. He soon was shivering but he barely noticed. He thought it was quite the contrast to the sunny warmth he had left behind in New York. Lucas observed how Brooke and Peyton each personified the weather in their respective locations. Brooke was cheerful and warm while Peyton was cold and miserable. He missed Brooke more than ever, at that moment. Lucas desperately wanted to turn around and walk back into the airport and get on to the first plane back to New York.

He wiped the rain out of his eyes with his sleeve. They had finally reached Peyton's car, the old Comet. When Sawyer was born, he had implored her to trade it in for a newer, more reliable vehicle. Of course, she had refused. Peyton unlocked the passenger-side door and Lucas got in, throwing his carry-on into the backseat. He fastened his seat belt, giving her a sidelong glance. The tension was almost suffocating. It seemed as if they were each waiting for the other to speak, first. Peyton began driving.

Lucas grappled with where he should begin. With the phone call he had just overheard? Or maybe the day he had come home early from a trip to London and found Peyton, with her bags packed, sobbing at the foot of the stairs? Or how about the way he found out she was pregnant with Sawyer – from a discarded pregnancy test hidden in the bottom of a trashcan his nephew Jamie had accidentally knocked over? These thoughts, among others tumbled around in his mind as they sped down the highway towards Durham.

"So, did you hook up with Brooke?" she asked sharply, cutting into the oppressive silence.

Lucas looked over at Peyton, startled. Not only was he surprised that she had spoken first, but she had also brought Brooke into this. Her clear green eyes focused on him, waiting. "Watch the road," he said in a low voice.

"Answer the question, Luke."

"Who were you talking to on your cell just now?" he retorted.

Peyton seemed taken aback. "I asked you, first."

He looked at her steadily, listening to the rain pounding down on the roof of the car. "Yes, I did see her. We had a pleasant dinner. Now answer my question."

She glanced over at him and snorted. "That's what she said when I talked to her earlier."

"You talked to Brooke?" He couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice.

"Of course I talked to Brooke. She's my best friend, my sister. She's got my back."

Lucas understood the implied message: Peyton was not about to give her blessing for him and Brooke to be together.

She glanced over at him again, her expression unreadable. "I'm not an idiot, Luke. You're still in love with her."

Lucas shook his head. Peyton was doing her damnedest to distract him from the phone call he overheard. He wasn't about to let her get away with it. "Who are you in love with?"

"What?" Peyton shrieked.

"Well, you were telling someone you loved them and it obviously wasn't me!"

"Did you fuck her?"

Lucas drew away as if she had slapped him.

"All those times you went to New York...and you would see her every single time. Things must have gotten hot. You've probably fucked her hundreds of times since we've been engaged." Peyton said, bitterly.

Lucas's hands clenched into fists, his knuckles whitening. He was absolutely livid at the length she was going to throw him off him... the way she talked about Brooke, her best friend. He could feel the anger building – he hadn't gotten this enraged since he learned that Dan had murdered his uncle Keith.

"Fuck you, Peyton," he retorted quietly, his voice burning with barely controlled rage.

Peyton flinched, but her expression remained stoic.

"You still haven't answered me," he continued, "who were you talking to?"

Peyton turned on the radio and cranked the volume way up. Loud punk music filled the car.

Lucas was reaching the limit of his patience. She was acting like the sullen adolescent girl he had met in high school. He reached over and shut off the music. "Answer me. I deserve to know."

"You deserve shit. You didn't ask me to marry you because you loved me – you wanted a hard-luck case you could keep rescuing because that's what you get off on."

"Who were you talking to?"

"Did you sleep with Brooke?"

"Who the fuck were you talking to?!" he yelled. He was getting aggravated by their circular argument. She was so determined to hide who she was talking to...he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Time to try another tactic. "Peyton, please, tell me."

Peyton remained silent, her body rigid with fury. She had a reckless, self-destructive look in her eyes – a look he hadn't seen in a long time. Not since she used to race up and down Main Street in Tree Hill, running as many red lights as possible, trying to tempt death to claim her as it had claimed her adoptive mother. For the first time, Lucas felt fear – there was no way of knowing what she would do or say, now. She was out to hurt him to protect herself.

Eventually, she spoke, her eyes fixed on the road ahead. "I'm done. I'm taking Sawyer with me and we are not looking back."

Lucas's heart dropped. "You can't do this, Peyton. She's my daughter, too." His voice rose again, this time in panic. _Don't take her away from me..she's practically my whole world._

Peyton laughed, humorlessly. "Trust me, Luke, you have no say in this."

'I swear, I will fight you, Peyton. I will fight you all the way to the Supreme Court, if I have to. There is no way you are keeping my daughter away from me." He slammed his fist against the dashboard. "I have right here, too, goddamn it!"

For the first time since their argument began, Peyton's expression softened. She looked at him, pityingly. "No, you don't, Luke. Because she's not your daughter."

Tears sprang to Lucas's eyes and he cradled his head in his hands. He opened his mouth, maybe to scream at her or let out a cry of sorrow and rage. Instead, the horrific noise of smashing glass and crunching metal filled his ears. He heard Peyton scream...but he lost sight of her. He could feel the cold rain on his skin and he could hear people shouting. _Funny, they sound so far away. _His right arm throbbed in exquisite pain and his head was pounding. He couldn't move, couldn't think. He could barely make out someone, a woman, asking if he was okay.

"She's not mine," he whispered in response, his heart aching. Then, he thought of Brooke and her dazzling smile; her hand reaching for his on the crowded dance floor last night. And her eyes, full of love, just for him.

_I could drown in those eyes..._he sank into blackness and merciful numbness.


	4. Bad Romance

**First of all, I have to thank everyone who had read this story, submitted reviews or added it to their alerts. I really appreciate it and I am glad you are entertained by this tale – trust me, I am getting a kick out of writing it!**

**A number of burning questions have come up and I promise you will get your answers – some sooner than others. Enjoy the ride and the mysteries will all be solved in time. I do have a busy weekend, so probably no updates until after that. Luckily, this is a nice long chapter. In it, we learn a little more about what happened with Lucas and Brooke the night before.**

**Disclaimers: I do not own One Tree Hill. The song lyrics are from the song _Bad Romance_ by Lady GaGa (which I had in my head all day - thanks, twenty-something co-workers!) and I don't own that, either. I also mention America's Next Top Model, which does not belong to me, either.**

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**Chapter 4 – Bad Romance**

"_It's been awhile since we danced, Luke." Brooke took a sip of her drink and smiled at Lucas._

_Lucas arched an eyebrow at her. "Is that a hint?"_

_She smiled and lowered her eyes. "Maybe," she said in a low voice. "I mean we are in a club…it's kind of expected."_

_Lucas laughed and finished his gin and tonic. "Remember the first time you dragged me out to a club and got me drunk? We were only 16 – you were a very bad influence on me, Brooke Davis."_

_Brooke slapped him on the arm, playfully. "You certainly didn't complain at the time. I seem to remember that you enjoyed yourself immensely. At least I got you to loosen up – you were so broody all the time."_

"_True, you did teach me the value of fun…and having laughter in one's life," he paused for a second, looking in to her eyes. Brooke felt a shiver run down her spine – a good one that made her feel tingly in her fingertips and her toes. Oh god, those eyes! They were her kryptonite. "It's something I've been missing for a very long time."_

_Brooke quickly tore her gaze away from him and concentrated on her drink. What the hell was she doing? __He's with Peyton – her best friend. They have a baby. She needed to get a grip._ _She could do this, hang out as friends – they've done it before, many times. But, never at a club where copious amounts of alcohol was being served. And never for this length of time. _

_She glanced out on the crowded dance floor, where she could see Rachel dancing with three different guys – she recognized them as models they had booked for Fashion Week. It was all Rachel's fault, showing up at the restaurant and demanding that they come with her to the club. And, Lucas's fault for accepting the invitation! That had shocked Brooke. He wasn't really a clubby type of guy. She knew things were bad between him and Peyton – maybe he just needed some fun. Brooke finished her drink. She could do this: show Lucas some good, clean, platonic fun and then send him home to his fiancee. She just had to be careful not to betray herself to him. She was Brooke Freakin' Davis; she could do anything._

_Brooke stood up, smiling at Lucas. She held her hand out to him. "Come on, let's dance. We'll get you to have a bit of fun, Lucas Scott." Her eyes met his and she felt that familiar tingle._

_Lucas smiled at her, again, and took her hand in his, squeezing her fingers gently. "I'd love that, Cheery."_

_He hadn't called her that since they dated in high school. He was still looking at her in that way – the way that turned her into jelly. She looked away and led him onto the dance floor. This was going to be harder than she thought._

"_**Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-roma-mamaa! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!"**_

"_What the hell is this music?" Lucas yelled out to her, as they found a place on the crowded dance floor._

"_It's Lady Gaga! The song's called _Bad Romance,_" she replied, laughing at him._

_Lucas looked incredulous. "Lady Gaga? That's what she calls herself?" Lucas looked mildly horrified._

"_I guess you don't get to hear too much good music in the sticks. She's performing at our fashion show next month." Brooke twirled around, and giggled. He was acting like such an old man."I love this song!" Brooke exclaimed, loudly. _

"_Kids today," Lucas shook his head, smiling._

_She didn't know if it was the 4 or 5 martinis she had downed, or the music, or the fact that she was dancing in a club to one of her favorite songs, like a normal 23 year-old, but she felt absolutely ecstatic. She did know that being in such close proximity to Lucas for so long was definitely helping her mood. Before she knew it, she had placed her hands around his neck and was singing along to the song in his ear. "I want your drama, the touch of your hand, I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand. I want your love and I want your revenge, you and me could write a bad romance...I want your love, I don't wanna be friends...I don't wanna be friends."_

_Lucas drew away from her and gazed into her eyes, intensely. "I don't want to be friends, either. I want your love, too," he whispered in her ear._

_Brooke stopped dancing and stared at him. She tried to drop her gaze, but he took her chin in his hand and tilted it up so she was meeting his gaze. She could hear her heart pounding above the music. It was as if everyone else in the club had melted away and it was was just the two of them. He leaned in and kissed her. It was a nice, slow kiss – gentle, but passionate. She returned the kiss eagerly, before she remembered herself._

_She tore herself away from his embrace. "Luke, I can't do this to Peyton. You made your choice." Brooke ran back to their booth to grab her coat. As she hurried off the dance floor, she caught sight of Rachel, who pumped her fist in the air and gave her a thumbs-up. Great, Rachel saw the kiss. Just what she needed. She pulled on her jacket, as Lucas appeared beside her. _

"_Brooke, don't run away. I know you feel the same way I do. I'm not letting you go, again," he looked at her with brooding sadness in his eyes._

_She paused and considered the situation for a moment. She was such a damn sucker for the brooding! Even if she did want him, and even if she loved him, he was still engaged to her friend and had a baby with her. She refused to stoop to Peyton's level – she was not going to hurt her friend to get what she wanted. "Okay, come back to my place. We can talk about this. And that's it."_

* * *

Brooke's cell phone rang, jolting her from her reverie. She tumbled off the couch and onto the floor as she grabbed at it. Oh, it was only Rachel. "Hey, bitch," she greeted her.

"Hey, slut. Why aren't you at the office? Tatiana says you haven't been in all day. Does this have something to do with a certain brooding ex-boyfriend you were dirty dancing with at the club? Tell me he spent the night."

Brooke rolled her eyes. Rachel had always rooted for her and Lucas to get back together – even if it came at Peyton's expense. "Rachel, I don't want to talk about it right now."

Rachel gasped. "Yes! I knew it. Something happened last night – you finally decided to go for it, didn't you? About time you stopped worrying about Peyton and her feelings. She certainly didn't care about _yours_ when she stole Lucas away from you. _Twice_."

"Enough, Rachel. What do you want? I'm waiting for a call.."

"I bet you're waiting to hear from Luke…Well, I actually did have a reason for calling…Tatiana wants to know if you forgot about the gala tonight. You were supposed to be at the salon getting dolled up twenty minutes ago. She would have called herself, but I thought it would be more fun if I did it so I can hear you freak out."

"Shit! That's tonight??" Brooke had completely forgotten.

"That's what happens when you play hooky to moon over broody boys." Rachel replied, laughing. Brooke could hear her talking to her assistant. "Tatiana, she forgot. Better send them over to her place. She'll never make it to the salon in time." Rachel laughed again. "I think Tatiana just swore in Russian."

"Tell her I'm sorry..." Brooke ran into the kitchen and glanced at the clock on the microwave. It was just before five. The gala started at 7:30. "When will they be here?"

"Interesting..." Rachel drawled.

"What's interesting?" Brooks snapped, she was getting super-stressed and Rachel's antics weren't helping.

"Well, it's six years later and our brooding author still gets you whipped up into such a state. One night together and you're acting like a giddy schoolgirl. Forgetting all about galas and skipping work – that's not like you, Brooke Davis."

Brooke sighed, impatiently. "Rachel, enough. Peyton's coming up this weekend and the last thing she needs is to listen your your crazy theories.. You've got to drop this, now."

"Peyton's coming up? Awkward!!! Okay, Tatiana's leaving now for your place. I'm coming with her, so I can get ready with you. I want the whole story and you are not to leave any juicy details out. I'll know if you do! Oh, Millie just walked in; I'll get her to come over, too!" Rachel hung up.

Brooke groaned. She didn't feel like undergoing an inquisition headed by Rachel in front of her assistant and an entourage of stylists, hairdressers and make-up artists. Millie would be quiet and supportive, but Rachel would keep pushing her to find out what was going on with Lucas. Suddenly, something occurred to her – she hadn't practiced her speech for the gala! Rachel was right: Lucas Scott shows up for one night and everything goes awry.

Brooke ran into her bedroom and opened her desk drawer. She had finished writing the speech a couple of nights ago. Tatiana had put it in a red folder for her review. She would have some time to practice while her hair and make-up was getting done. It wasn't where she thought she had left it. She saw a red folder sitting on her dresser. "How did that get there?" she muttered as she walked over and picked up the folder. She opened it up, and sure enough, her speech was inside – but underneath it, was a thick sheaf of papers. Her speech fell to the floor, forgotten. It was a manuscript. Lucas had written a note to her on the title page.

"_It's nearly dawn and one of the best nights of my life is almost fading away. As I watch you sleeping, I am struck by what an amazing woman you are. How you always put others ahead of yourself, how you have the drive and determination to accomplish whatever you set your mind to, and your strength – I've always loved those things about you. I know that saying "I'm sorry" is not enough to undo all the hurt I caused you. I made a mistake walking away from you. It took time for me to realize the inescapable fact – you're the girl for me, Brooke Davis. I hoped against hope that you still loved me and tonight, when I looked into your eyes, I knew; even before you told me, I knew. Knowing this has made me the happiest I have been in years. You once wrote me 82 letters – one a day for an entire summer. So, I wrote this for you. It amounts to a page a day since you let me go (give or take a few). Consider it my love letter to you, Pretty Girl. I love you. You have my heart, forever._

_- Broody"_

Brooke sat down on the bed, her heart was fluttering. She ran her fingers over his words. She smiled – he had called himself Broody. He had written a third novel – a novel about her. Brooke flipped through it. It seemed to be about a thousand pages. She was curious to read it.

"Helloo, Brooke! We're here!" Rachel's voice filled the apartment.

Brooke took the manuscript and hastily shoved it back in the red folder and put it in her nightstand drawer. The last thing she needed was to give Rachel more fodder for her wild imagination. "I'm in my room," she called back.

Rachel flounced into Brooke's bedroom, followed by Millie, Tatiana, a stylist, a hairdresser, and a make-up artist. "You look awful. If I didn't know any better, I could swear you didn't get a wink of sleep last night."

Millie came up and hugged Brooke. "She's been like this all the way over. Did something really happen with you and Luke?" She whispered in Brooke's ear. "Don't answer now. We'll chat later."

In spite of herself, Brooke laughed. She was lucky to have two good friends who were completely on her side and had her back. It probably helped that they were both on her payroll, too.

Millie had been her assistant until she was promoted to the position of Creative Director a few months ago. She was in charge of coming up with concepts for fashion shows and other events that promoted Clothes Over Bros. Millie was calm, collected and unflappable, if a bit soft-spoken. If there was a crisis, Millie would get everything under control.

Rachel, on the other hand, was tempestuous and had a knack for stirring up trouble wherever she went.. In spite of this, she was fiercely loyal and usually meant well, although she could be a little selfish at times. Brooke and Rachel had a history, stretching back to high school. They lost touch for a couple of years after graduation, until Brooke saw her old friend on _America's Next Top Model_ as a contestant! Rachel made the final three until she got cut, probably for causing too much drama with the other models. Despite this, Rachel was a fan favorite and Brooke signed her as the spokes-model for Clothes Over Bros.

"Miss Davis, please, we must start with your hair and make-up," her current assistant, Tatiana, directed to Brooke to sit in front of her vanity, in her thick Russian accent. "We will need to leave in less than two hours."

"Millie, can you keep an eye on my phone? I'm expecting a call, eventually." Brooke handed her cell over to Millie.

Rachel, overhearing this, emerged from Brooke's closet, wearing her favorite red mini-dress. "Hey! Why can't I be the phone monitor?"

"Because, you'd probably say something totally inappropriate," Brooke settled down in the chair in front of her vanity. "By the way, why are you wearing my dress?"

"Because I look hot in it and it doesn't fit your fat ass, anyway. Can I wear it tonight?" Rachel was gazing at herself in the full-length mirror.

Brooke and Millie exchanged a look and rolled their eyes at each other.

Tatiana jumped in.'No, Miss Davis is wearing red. You can wear the dress we brought for you from new collection!" She snapped her fingers and the stylist rushed over to Rachel with an emerald green satin dress.

Rachel sighed. "This one is not as sexy."

"It is black tie event. You will not dress like prostitute!" Tatiana waved Rachel towards the guest room. "You change now!"

Brooke tried to keep from laughing, since the makeup artist was trying to apply her eyeliner, but it was a losing battle.

"I'll go help her," Millie offered. "If I don't, Tatiana might strangle her."

Brooke nodded and closed her eyes. Her mind drifted off again, to thoughts of Lucas and the manuscript. She couldn't wait to read it, but there was no way she would be able to this weekend; especially not if Peyton was arriving sometime tonight. Eventually, Tatiana gave her approval to the make-up and hairstyle. Brooke opened her eyes. Her make-up was simple- the way she liked it. Her hair was pulled back in a sleek chignon. Brooke nodded and thanked the make-up artist and hairstylist, while Tatiana escorted them out. She was just about to climb into the floor-length, strapless, red silk gown, when Millie rushed into the bedroom.

"Brooke, you have a call. It's urgent. It's Haley Scott." Millie looked anxious.

Brooke swallowed hard, as she imagined a multitude of disasters. Haley was one of her dearest friends and she was married to Lucas's brother, Nathan. Their son, Jamie, was her godson. She took the phone from Millie, who exchanged a look with Tatiana. Everyone left the bedroom, giving Brooke some privacy.

"Haley? It's me. Millie said it's urgent," Brooke tried to keep her voice calm and steady.

"Brooke?" Haley's voice was wavering and she sounded like she was about to burst into tears. "Oh, Brooke, something awful has happened."

Brooke took a deep breath. Haley was eight months pregnant with her second child and it had been a difficult pregnancy. "Is the baby okay?"

Haley had a slight smile in her voice, as she replied,"No, the baby's better than okay. She's great. And, Jamie is fine, too," she quickly added, anticipating Brooke's next question. "It's Lucas and Peyton. Brooke, there's been an accident."

Brooke felt lightheaded and she leaned against the wall. "How bad?" she whispered.

"Bad," Haley replied, simply. "Luke had some stitches and a broken arm. Maybe a concussion. Peyton is in really bad shape, though. She's in critical condition. They're going to operate."

Brooke sank down on the floor. "When did it happen?"

Haley sighed. "About an hour ago, maybe two. The hospital in Durham just called Nathan about 15 minutes ago. He's leaving right away. I want to go, but the doctor told me last week that I shouldn't travel."

"Okay," Brooke sighed, as well. She could feel tears running down her cheeks. "I'm getting on the first flight down there. Hang in there, Hales. Tell Nathan I'll see him there." Brooke closed her eyes. "Give Jamie a hug and kiss from me. And take care of Brooke the Second."

Haley chuckled. "I love you, Brooke."

"Love you, too, Hales." Brooke hung up and got to her feet. She had to get down to Durham. She quickly threw on a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. She had just opened her bedroom door to call for Millie, Rachel and Tatiana, when her phone rang again. She dove for it, thinking it had to be Haley with more news. She glanced at the caller ID and quickly picked up.

"Lucas!" she exclaimed.

"Brooke? You have to come here," Lucas sounded dazed, and more than a little lost."There's been an accident..." his voice trailed off.

"I know, honey, Haley called me. Nathan's coming right away. And, I'm getting on the next plane. I'll be there as soon as I can." Brooke tried to keep the panic and fear out of her voice.

"Brooke, I need you. It's bad. Peyton...she said that Sawyer's not mine...right before...and now, she might die." Lucas broke down and started sobbing.

Brooke wiped from her cheeks. He sounded so broken, she couldn't stand it. She had to get there. "Luke, honey, try to rest. I'm coming. I promise I will be there as fast as I can."

She could hear Luke's ragged breathing, as he tried to regain self-control. "Hurry, Pretty Girl." he whispered.

"I will, Luke. I'll be there before you know it."

"Love you, Pretty Girl. The doctor just came in. I think they want me off the phone," Lucas hung up before she could respond.

Brooke reluctantly hung up and stood in the middle of her room, in shock. The car accident, Peyton may be dying, Sawyer wasn't Luke's daughter? _What the hell was going on?_ Peyton had said she had gotten herself into a mess. She had said that when she broke up with Luke, it would be a bloodbath. Brooke took a deep breath. She had to gain control of herself. Luke needed her, Peyton needed her, Sawyer needed her.

She walked out into the living room and told Tatiana to book her on the first flight to Durham. "I need to get down there as soon as possible. There's been an accident – Luke and Peyton." Brooke was astonished at how matter-of-fact she sounded.

Rachel ran up and hugged her. "Sweetie, do you want me to come with you? You're in no shape to go alone."

Brooke shook her head."No, I need you to go to the gala and give my speech. Tatiana has a copy and it'll be on the teleprompter." Brooke walked back towards her bedroom. "I need to pack." Brooke went to her closet and pulled out a small suitcase and began tossing clothes in, randomly. The tears were starting again and she was having difficulty keeping control.

Millie came into the room. "Brooke, sit down. I'll pack for you," she said, gently.

Brooke nodded, silently. She sat down on the bed and pulled out Lucas's manuscript. She gazed at it, and holding it close to her chest, she lay down on the bed and gave in to the tears. What if Peyton died? What would happen to Sawyer? And, Luke...he must be devastated about Peyton's revelation.

When Millie was finished packing, she sat down next to Brooke on the bed and hugged her, tightly. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Brooke shook her head. "I need you, here. I need you to take care of my baby," she chuckled slightly, remembering how they always referred to Clothes Over Bros.

"Okay. Tatiana's got you on a flight leaving in an hour and a half. I'll come with you to the airport and see you off," Millie spoke soothingly. "Your baby's in good hands. But, if you need me or Rach to come down, we'll be there in a flash."

Brooke smiled, sadly. "Thank you." She went to the washroom and splashed cold water on her face. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She didn't feel like putting on more make-up, she had a feeling she would be doing a lot more crying before this nightmare ended. She put on a pair of oversized sunglasses and picked up Lucas's manuscript and put it in her bag. Together, she and Millie left for the airport and Brooke wondered at how much her world had changed in the last 12 hours.


	5. Running Blind

**Sorry, it's been awhile with this update. I had a hard time with this chapter - the idea was there, but getting it on paper (so to speak) was harder than I thought. Let me know what you think. Thanks for your patience - and I love comments. I finally figured out how to respond, so that will be very exciting for me. (I know, it doesn't take much.)**

**As usual, I do not own OTH.**

* * *

**Chapter 5 – Running Blind**

"_Can't find the answers, I've been crawling on my knees; looking for anything to keep me from drowning. Promises have been turned to lies; can't even be honest inside." - __Godsmack_

"_So, this is my place," Brooke announced, throwing open the front door. _

_Lucas walked into the darkened penthouse. He squinted, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. This was the first time Brooke had invited him to her home in all the times he had visited her in New York. He'd heard how fabulous it was from Peyton, Nathan and Haley. Even his own mother and sister had stayed with Brooke the last time they came to the city. He was curious to see where she lived, laughed, slept and dreamt. _

"_Uh, I'd be more impressed if you turned on a light or two so I could actually __see __the place," Lucas commented, wincing as he stubbed his toe on...something._

_Brooke just laughed. "Trust me, you will be incredibly impressed without any lights on," she replied in her low, throaty voice._

_His pulse quickened as she took his hand and guided him down the dark hall to the living room. Lucas's jaw dropped open as he took in the sight. One entire side of Brooke's living room was a wall of windows, stretching from floor to ceiling. Brooke left him to gape at the stunning view laid out below. Millions upon millions of twinkling light stretched out as far as the eye could see. "Amazing," he said in a low voice._

"_So, you are impressed, I take it?" Brooke had reappeared beside him with a bottle of wine and two wineglasses._

_Lucas just nodded. "Now I see why you didn't turn any lights on."_

_Brooke smiled and sat down on the floor, in front of the window. She patted a spot beside her and Lucas stretched out beside her. "Sometimes, I get home late and even though I'm wiped, I can't sleep. So, I sit here, with a glass of wine and look at all this," she gestured to the panorama below. "I wonder what all those millions of people are doing, what kinds of lives they lead, what they're thinking, how they're feeling. I even make up little stories about them, if I'm really wide-awake." She poured him a glass of wine and handed it to him. "It kind of makes me feel less alone."_

_Lucas took a sip of wine and looked at her as she poured her own glass of wine. She had been very quiet in the cab ride over from the club. He knew she was struggling over the decision over whether to let her guard down. It was a good sign that she was letting him into her home; her sanctuary from her hectic life. He wanted more – he wanted her to trust him completely. He knew she was caught off-guard by the kiss at the club. He had been caught off-guard, too; it wasn't like he had planned it. The way she looked at him, the way she had wrapped her arms around his neck. It was like they were back in high school, dancing at Tric. He could relate to the loneliness – even though he lived with Peyton, they lived very separate lives. He was either writing, teaching or travelling and she was busy drawing, or working as a booking agent at _The Back Door_, a club in Raleigh that was owned by their old friend, Jake Jagielski. Whenever he was with Brooke, that sense of loneliness melted away._

"_You've done pretty well for yourself, Brooke Davis," he said quietly._

_She smiled, sadly. "I'd like to think so." She sipped at her wine, staring at the view._

_Lucas set down his wineglass. "Brooke, you're amazing. You've built your own company, which is wildly successful by the way. And, you literally have the world at your feet. All your dreams have come true."_

_She turned away from him. "But, I don't have you," she said, very quietly._

_He pulled her close to him. "Brooke, you do have me. Believe me, you do."_

_Brooke sighed. "I wish I could believe you, Luke. I really do. But I believed in you twice before. If you want to be with me, Lucas, you've got to be absolutely sure. How am I supposed to know you won't go running back to Peyton? What if you change your mind and decide she's the girl for you, again? You always seem to want what you can't have. My heart was shattered twice before. I can't go through this a third time, Luke. I'm strong, but I'm not invincible. I think you forget that, sometimes..." her voice trailed off._

_Lucas sat up and faced her. He was dismayed to see tears shimmering in her eyes. "Oh, Pretty Girl, come here," he hugged her tightly. "I am so sorry. I was a stupid kid. I didn't know what true love was. I thought I knew; when you're 17 you think you know everything, but you really know shit." He tilted Brooke's chin upwards and stared in to her hazel eyes. "I love you, Brooke. I've been in love with you since we were sixteen. I may have loved Peyton, but I was never in love with her. It took me a long time to sort out the difference, but once I did, it was always you, Brooke and only you. Have you ever asked yourself why I come to New York so much?"_

_Brooke drew away from him. "Well, your editor's here. I figured it had to do with publishing or something."_

_Lucas smiled. "No, most of the things I came to New York to deal with could have been dealt with over the phone. I wanted to see you, spend time with you. I never imagined that you still had feelings for me. I wished, God, how I wished you still loved me. I thought you had moved on and saw me as an old friend you could show off your success to."_

_Brooke finished her wine and was silent for a few moment, contemplating her empty glass."Lucas Scott, you are such a broomhead, sometimes!" she burst out laughing._

"_Broomhead?!" Lucas joined in her laughter._

"_Yes, broomhead. Luke, I've been in love with you the entire time! I hid my feelings to protect myself and Peyton," she looked at him, her expression growing serious. "I never stopped loving you. I let you go, so you could be with Peyton, because that's what you told me you wanted. I truly wanted you both to be happy. And, I didn't want to lose either one of you. I didn't step aside because I didn't love you; I stepped aside because I _did_ love you. And still do," Brooke poured herself another glass of wine. She smiled up at him, flashing her dimples briefly. "It feels good to say it out loud, after hiding it all this time. Do you know how hard it is to be in love with your best friend's fiancé?"_

_Lucas topped up his own wine glass. "As hard as being in love with your fiancée's best friend?"_

_Brooke shook her head, locks of her hair falling into her eyes. "Luke, we need to figure this out. If you're serious about us – what are you going to do about Peyton? And, there's a baby involved, now. What about Sawyer?"_

_Lucas reached over and brushed Brooke's hair out of her eyes. He paused for a second, considering Brooke's words. He realized that if he wanted Brooke's love and trust, he would need to open up, himself. He remembered telling her to "open up" back when they dated. It was time he practiced what he preached. He would have to tell her everything, without sparing any punches. There were things he was afraid of thinking to himself, never mind speaking them out loud to anyone. He took a sip of wine and decided to start at the beginning. _

_As if sensing this would be a long story, Brooke got up and fetched some soft chenille blankets and pillows from the couch. They curled up together in the blankets, with Lucas reclining against some pillows and Brooke leaning against his shoulder. They had plenty of wine and an amazing view. Lucas began his tale._

* * *

A song was playing, sounded kind of tinny and far away. It sounded vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. He could hear some voices murmuring in the background. He longed to slip back into darkness, into comfortable numbness; but now that he was aware of the noises, the music and the voices filled his ears. They were impossible to ignore.

"...darn phone, doctor. It keeps going on. I think the paramedics left the patient's personal items in this bag, here."

"See if you can shut it off, Gertie. The patient needs his rest and that ring tune is damned annoying."

Lucas opened his eyes. They were filled with a blazing white light. He squinted, trying to adjust to the brightness.

"Oh, goodness. There are two phones in here. Okay, I think I turned it off. Hard to tell, it's so smashed up."

Lucas turned his head slightly. He could see a nurse, dressed in lavender scrubs, holding two cell phones – his and Peyton's. He opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but all that came out was a low groan. His head was pounding.

The nurse looked startled, and then she smiled at him, widely. "Well, look who's awake!" the nurse set the phones down on the bedside table. "How are you feeling, Mr. Scott?"

He tried to sit up, but a wave of pain and nausea overcame him. _How much wine did we drink? Do I have alcohol poisoning?_ He thought wildly.

"Oh, no, no. Don't you try to get up. You have a nasty bump on the head. Doctor, you better come check on Lucas, here." The nurse moved aside and the doctor approached Lucas's bedside.

The doctor smiled reassuringly at him, but Lucas noticed the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. _Something's wrong. _

"Hi Lucas. My name is Dr. Vaughn. Like Gertie mentioned, you do have a head injury. It appears to be minor, but you may feel a little fuzzy and nauseous. That's a side effect of the pain medication that was administered to you, earlier. Do you know where you are?"

Lucas closed his eyes, as a fresh wave of nausea washed over him. His right arm was also beginning to throb dully, which wasn't helping. "Hospital?" he whispered.

The doctor smiled at him, again. "Very good, but which city are you in?"

Lucas frowned. He wanted to say New York, but that wasn't right. He remembered leaving Brooke's place, checking out of his hotel, the flight...the fight and all the horrible things Peyton said about Brooke and Sawyer. It was all coming back. "Durham," he replied at last, staring up at the ceiling. "What happened?"

"You were in a very serious accident. Your right arm was fractured and you had a laceration on your forehead, which required seven stitches. You will be in a cast for about 6 weeks, but you are expected to recover full range of motion in that arm. As a precaution, we're going to be keeping you overnight, for observation," Dr. Vaughn looked at some notes before continuing. "Also, we were able to contact your brother, Nathan. He is on his way, as we speak."

Lucas smiled slightly at the mention of his brother's name. He was relieved that Nathan was coming to him. No matter what happened, he knew his brother would stand by him and support him.

"Now, as for the young woman who was also involved in the accident," the doctor paused for a second.

"Peyton...how is she? Will she be okay?" Lucas swallowed hard, remembering her screams during the initial impact and how they had cut off abruptly.

"I'm afraid her condition is very serious. She wasn't wearing her seatbelt and was apparently thrown through the windshield of the vehicle. She suffered a serious head injury and there is a substantial amount of internal bleeding," Dr. Vaughn gazed at him, gravely. "Peyton was rushed into surgery about half-an-hour ago. I need you to understand that she may not survive."

The doctor's words echoed in Lucas's ears. He'd heard what she said, but it didn't seem real. Peyton dying? How was this possible? Lucas blinked, willing himself to wake up from this nightmare. Maybe if he wished hard enough, he would find himself waking up in Brooke's guest room – as if this wretched day had never happened. He would be with Brooke, Sawyer would be his daughter and Peyton would just let him go.

"Lucas?" Dr. Vaughn prodded, gently. "Do you know if Peyton has any relatives that should be notified? Her file has you listed as her only emergency contact."

Lucas nodded, blinking back tears. Fuck, it was real. He sighed, heavily. "Her brother, Derek. He's stationed at Fort Bragg. I have his number on my cell." Lucas couldn't believe how calm he sounded.

Dr. Vaughn nodded and reached for her beeper, which had suddenly gone off. She left the room.

The nurse handed him the cell phone that wasn't smashed up. Lucas clumsily turned it on and scrolled down his contact list until he found Derek's number. He showed it to the nurse, who recorded it for the doctor. The nurse looked at him sympathetically and gently squeezed his shoulder. "Your brother will be here soon. You won't be alone much longer."

Lucas nodded his thanks to the nurse, and she left the room. Thank god Nathan was coming; Lucas felt as if the world had suddenly gone insane and his brother would steady him. There was no one he would rather see at that moment. Well, almost no one... Lucas realized he was still clutching his phone in his hand. They forgot to take it away. He wanted nothing more than to hear Brooke's voice. He needed her so much; she would help him get through this. He had just highlighted her name in his contact list, when Peyton's phone rang. He dropped his phone on the bed beside him, in surprise. Without really thinking about it, he reached over and picked it up. The display screen was cracked up pretty badly and it was dark – no way to tell who was calling. Maybe it was Derek, or even Brooke.

"Hello?" Lucas answered. The sound quality wasn't great. There was a lot of static.

The caller hesitated before answering. "Luke?" a familiar male voice responded.

Lucas frowned. "Derek?" he asked in confusion.

"Uh, no...It's me, Jake."

"Oh, hi Jake," Lucas winced as the pain in his arm worsened momentarily.

"Can I –uh- speak with Peyton?"

"This isn't a good time, man."

Jake heaved a sigh. "I know...Luke, I'm really sorry."

Lucas's confusion increased. Did Jake somehow know about the accident? And if he did, why was he calling Peyton's phone? "What are you sorry for?"

Jake was silent for a moment. "For the way things happened. We didn't mean to hurt you, Luke."

Something clicked. It was Jake. Lucas's eyes widened and he gripped the phone tightly. "It was you!" he shouted. "She was talking to you! Telling you that she loved _you_!"

Jake sounded alarmed. "Luke, what's going on? Where's Peyton? Let me talk to her."

Lucas barely noticed the tears already coursing down his face. Jake. It was Jake all along. It was Jake that she loved...but that meant – he was suddenly rocked by another wave of nausea, not from the medication, this time. Jake could very well be Sawyer's father.

Instead of answering Jake, Lucas threw Peyton's cell phone to the floor, watching as it smashed into a half-dozen pieces. He gasped for air, taking deep, ragged breaths. Peyton had cheated on him with Jake Jagielski, one of his oldest friends and her ex-boyfriend. The guy who had dumped her for being in love with Lucas. The betrayal was almost too much. How could she? _How could she?_ If she had wanted out, all she had to do was tell him. Why let it go on for so long? Why let him believe that Sawyer was his daughter? He wanted to see her and ask her these questions right now. He had a right to know. If she was in surgery, he would wait until she woke up. **If** she woke up.

Lucas swung his legs over the side of the bed, and sat up. The nauseous feeling worsened and he felt dizzy, like he was about to pass out. He glanced down and saw his phone. He picked it up and dialled Brooke's number. He needed to make sure she would be here with him. She could help him make sense of all this. It seemed to take an eternity before she answered. He could barely contain the racking sobs that were escaping him. He had no idea what he was saying to her, but he must have made some sort of sense. She told him she would be there as fast as she could. _I'll be there before you know it. _He held on to those words like they were a lifeline. She was coming to him; he could hold on.

He was desperately trying to get his emotions under control, when Dr. Vaughn returned with two nurses. They must have heard him shouting. The doctor was speaking to him, but he had no idea what she was saying. One of the nurses took the phone away, while Dr. Vaughn administered a shot to his good arm. He felt his anger and his agony melting away. Everything was okay. Soon, Brooke would be here, and Nathan, too. They would help him...they would know what to do. Lucas closed his eyes and slipped back into comfortable numbness.


	6. Change of Heart

**First, I want to appologize for the delay in updating. My last chapter didn't have very many reviews, so I wasn't sure if anyone was still interested in the story... until I saw all the new alerts being added. It was very cool and it made me feel a lot better! Special thanks to dianehermans for the PM. Made my day! Keep reading and reviewing and let me know what you think!**

**This chapter is kind of transitional installment - it fills in some gaps, as the major characters come together. Here, Brooke reflects on her friendship with Peyton over the last few years, which provides a nice overview of what the girls were up to after graduation (more details will be filled in later). It also sets up for some revelations in upcoming chapters. Keep in mind that, I don't want Peyton to come off as evil; just confused and somewhat self-sentered. **

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 6 – Change of Heart**

_"Days go by, leaving me with a hunger. I could fly back to when we were younger, when adventures like cars we would ride, and the years lied ahead, still untried." - Cyndi Lauper_

Brooke stared out the window into the darkness blanketing the airplane. The manuscript Lucas left for her rested in her lap, forgotten. She meant to read it, but too many thoughts were swirling around in her mind. The fact that Peyton might be dying or already dead by the time Brooke arrived at the hospital was too much to process. While she and Peyton still referred to each other as best friends and sisters, the true intimacy of longtime friendship had dissipated. Still, if something happened, Brooke would be devastated. Her eyes welled up with tears, once again, at the thought. Brooke bit her lower lip, willing herself not to cry. She refused to burst into tears on a plane, in front of a bunch of strangers. Peyton wasn't going to die – that's all there was to it. If she believed strongly enough, it would be true.

Brooke heaved a sad sigh as her thoughts turned towards that last phone call she had received from Lucas. He had sounded broken… no - shattered was a more apt description. Brooke had never heard Lucas sound so lost, so distraught before. It frightened her; he was the strong one. He always rescued everyone else.

_What did Peyton say to him? _Brooke wondered exactly what had gone down during that fateful car ride. Why would Peyton tell Lucas that he wasn't Sawyer's father? Was she just trying to hurt him? Peyton often said awful things in the heat of the moment, things she later regretted. And Sawyer was Lucas's Achilles' heel. If she wanted to wound him, she certainly struck the right spot. But Peyton wouldn't go that far, would she? While Peyton could be self-centered at times, she certainly wasn't evil. Lying to Lucas about the paternity of their daughter would be crossing a line. No matter how unhappy or angry Peyton became with Lucas, she couldn't deny that he was a devoted father. Brooke frowned. If Peyton was telling the truth, then who _was_ Sawyer's father?

Brooke shifted in her seat and pulled her sweater tightly around her. She wasn't sure which was worse: that Peyton cheated on Lucas and got pregnant with another man's child while allowing Lucas to take legal responsibility for the baby or that Peyton just lied about Sawyer's paternity to spite Lucas. The situation was twisted and it was giving her a headache.

Brooke signaled the flight attendant over and ordered a double-shot of Jack and Diet Coke. She needed something to take the edge off. A few minutes later, the flight attendant returned with her drink. Brooke turned off the overhead reading light, reclined her seat and curled up with Lucas's manuscript clutched close to her chest and her drink in her hand. She took a long sip.

She remembered when she and Peyton used to confide everything to each other. Back before Lucas came into their lives and the love triangle of doom began. It seemed so long ago. Even though they had managed to repair the fracture in their friendship, there remained a distance between them. Brooke knew that they tried to maintain their closeness, but it was hard to be completely open when they were both in love with the same boy. She did her best to pretend that she was over Lucas, but Brooke could tell that Peyton could see through her act. She wasn't stupid. So, they both ignored the situation – just pretended that the whole mess had never happened.

After graduation, things had gotten better, for a time. They were away from Tree Hill and after the first summer, Lucas and Peyton split up. It became easier to go back to being true best friends. They could talk about anything, even Lucas. Still, Brooke knew enough to keep her feelings for Lucas a closely guarded secret from Peyton. They were roommates, while Brooke attended UCLA for business classes and the Art Institute of California for fashion design. Clothes Over Bros was quickly expanding and she began to realize that she would need to move to New York in order to keep hold of her fledgling business under her control. But the question was when.

Meanwhile, Peyton struggled. She worked different record labels, but they all treated her as a glorified gopher. She became sullen and short-tempered. She would spend all night out at clubs, ostensibly to check out new musical talent, but Brooke knew she was really out partying to numb her pain. Brooke sipped at her drink and smiled, sadly. She certainly remembered how she once tried to drink and fuck her troubles away in high school. It broke her heart to see her friend going through the same thing. Every time Brooke tried to talk to her, Peyton literally shut her out. She would stomp off to her room and blast her music, painting maniacally for hours before heading out for the night. Brooke wasn't sure when she slept - or even_ if _she slept. Brooke was ready to stage an intervention and was actually seeking advice from a drug and alcohol counselor, when everything changed.

About six months after the downward spiral began, Peyton suddenly rebounded. She seemed happy, more confident and stopped the constant partying. She had met a boy – Julian. Brooke gripped her cup tightly and took another long drink. She had never really warmed up to Julian Baker, hotshot movie producer. He said all the right things, was devastatingly handsome and seemed to treat Peyton very well…but there was something Brooke didn't like about him. She couldn't put her finger on it and it drove her nuts. But, Peyton adored him. She was the happiest Brooke had seen her since she was dating Lucas. And Brooke was glad that Peyton hadn't destroyed herself. Then, there was the whole guilt-thing: if Brooke had left Peyton alone in L.A., she would have had to endure the whole "people always leave" speech. With Julian in her life, Peyton wouldn't feel abandoned and Brooke could leave with a clear (well, mostly) conscience. By the time Brooke was ready to move to New York, Peyton had already moved in with Julian.

So, the two friends parted ways, again. Brooke was busy with Clothes Over Bros and Peyton was busy with Julian and trying to kick start her career. There were phone calls and visits, and most times they could pick up right where they'd left off, like no time had passed at all. Those were the best times – they were truly sisters once more. Then, one day Brooke received a phone call that changed their friendship forever. She remembered the day so clearly. She was in Milan, for fall fashion week. Things had been hectic with the company and Brooke and Peyton had barely talked in a couple of months, with the exception of a few emails. Brooke finished her drink and placed the empty glass on the tray table in front of her. She usually tried not to think about that day; it was just too damn hard. She lay back and closed her eyes, and remembered.

* * *

_Brooke was standing backstage minutes before the debut of her new fall line. In fact, it was Clothes Over Bros first show in Europe and Brooke was beyond excited. She supervised as a stylist helped Rachel into a dress. It was part of a new couture collection, something completely different from anything Brooke had done before. It was a little out-there, but it was time to take a chance if she wanted to compete with iconic fashion houses like Versace._

"_Love the dress, hate the hair." Rachel commented. Even though she tried to hide it, Brooke knew she was nervous. It was Rachel's first runway show since becoming the face of Clothes Over Bros._

_Brooke rolled her eyes. "It's part of the concept, Rach."_

"_I have a freaking bird on my head," Rachel replied, looking uncertainly at herself in the mirror._

_Brooke shrugged. "Part of being a model is wearing weird shit we designers dream up," Brooke smiled and tilted her head. "It's up to you to convey my vision. Just work it. I could put you in a potato sack and you'd be able to pull it off."_

_Rachel straightened her back. "You're right. No matter what ridiculous outfit you put me in; I will still look smokin' – which is more than I can say for you." Rachel started walking away, and then stopped, turning to face Brooke. "Thank you, Brooke."_

_Brooke was touched at the sincerity in Rachel's voice and returned her smile. "For what?"_

"_For believing in me…for everything. I won't let you down." Rachel said, solemnly._

"_I know," Brooke replied. She quickly glanced at her watch. "Now, go on, get in line with the other models. It's almost time."_

_Rachel laughed. "Alright – don't be such a bitch about it!"_

_Brooke shook her head and watched her friend walk off. She stood in the center of the room, surveying the organized chaos surrounding her. Models ran about in various stages of undress, stylists chasing after them. The stage manager was talking to someone on his headset and writing last minute notes on his clipboard. The atmosphere was electric. This what she had worked towards all these years: Brooke Davis had finally arrived. She just hoped her collection would go over well with the audience of celebrities, fashionistas, critics and buyers._

_Brooke was lost in her thoughts, when Millicent suddenly appeared at her side, holding Brooke's cell phone. "You have a phone call. Peyton Sawyer."_

_Brooke nearly squealed. She had been trying to get hold of Peyton for the last week to no avail. She must have remembered that this was the big day! She thanked Millie and took the phone from her. "! I am so glad you finally called!"_

"_Hey, Brooke. Sorry I haven't called; it's been kind of crazy around here."_

_Brooke picked up on something in Peyton's voice. She seemed guarded. "So, what's going on?"_

"_Well, we need to talk. I have some news and well, it's pretty big."_

"_Sure, of course! Let me find somewhere a little quieter. I can barely hear you," Brooke weaved her way through the crowd until she found and exit into a deserted side hallway. "Okay, spill."_

_Peyton sighed and was silent for a moment. "I'm engaged."_

"_Oh, my god! Peyton, that's huge! What's the ring like? I'm going to design your dress, there's no way around it! Have you set a date? How did Julian propose?" Brooke couldn't stop the flow of questions tumbling from her lips, she was happy for Peyton, even if she wasn't Julian's biggest fan. As long as she was happy, it was enough for Brooke. "Did he get down on one knee?"_

"_Um, Brooke, wait before you get too excited. I have more to tell you…"_

_Brooke gasped. "You're pregnant!"_

_Peyton laughed hollowly. "No, I'm not pregnant. Please, settle down, Brooke. I'm trying to tell you something – I want you to hear it from me, first."_

_Brooke frowned, her giddiness slowly fading away at the serious tone in Peyton's voice. "Sorry, I'm just so happy for you and Julian."_

_A pause. "It's not Julian. We're done. He dumped me a while ago."_

"_What happ-"_

"_I don't want to talk about it," Peyton cut her off._

_Brooke sucked in her breath. What the fuck? If she wasn't engaged to Julian…if they'd broken up a while ago, then who- "Oh my god," she whispered, as a horrible thought occurred to her. It couldn't be. Could it?_

"_It's Lucas. He showed up in L.A. a week ago and asked me to marry him. I said 'yes.'"_

_Brooke closed her eyes. She felt like she had been sucker-punched in the stomach. Even though she had released Lucas long ago, it still hurt. She impatiently wiped away a couple of tears that had escaped from her closed lashes. She didn't trust herself to speak. _

"_Brooke, I know this seems sudden…it caught me by surprise, too. But Lucas loves me – he always has. He makes me feel safe and that's what I need. We're moving back to North Carolina, to Durham. It's the right thing. I mean, it has to be."_

_Brooke shook her head. Of course it was "the right thing." Peyton and Lucas still believed that they were destined to be together. They were each determined to see it through no matter who got hurt. _

"_Brooke? Say something, please." Peyton pleaded. "You're the first person we've told. We wanted you to hear this from us. I need to know you're okay with this."_

_Brooke cleared her throat and stood up straighter. "Of course, I'm happy for you; for both of you. I'm just distracted right now. My first show in Milan's about to start and I've got a million things to do."_

"_I'm so sorry! I can't believe I forgot!"_

"_That's okay. You've got a lot going on. Look, I have to go." _

"_Brooke, wait! Lucas wants to talk to you."_

_Brooke looked up the ceiling, blinking back tears. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to Lucas Scott. "No, I really have to go. Tell him congratulations from me."_

"_Brooke," Peyton hesitated. "You're sure you're okay?"_

"_Peyton, please. High school was ages ago. Of course I'm fine," Brooke lied. "I'll call you soon."_

"_Well, okay. Good luck today."_

"_Thanks, friend." Brooke hung up. She paused, torn between collapsing into a sobbing mess on the ground and smashing her cell phone against the wall. Instead, she counted to ten, took a few deep breaths and dived back into the pandemonium backstage. _

* * *

Brooke opened her eyes. She must have dozed off during her trip down memory lane. The flight attendant walked by and asked her to return her seatback to its upright position; they would be landing shortly.

She avoided speaking with Peyton after the engagement was announced. She used work as an excuse, but it was because she still hurt. When Peyton was with Julian, Brooke had harbored a secret hope that Lucas would come back to her. Once he and Peyton got engaged, it felt like she was losing him all over again…even though at that point he wasn't hers to lose. Eventually, she came to accept the engagement and resigned herself to the fact that Lucas wasn't coming back. She had to face it and move on. Brooke resolved to be a good friend; she called Peyton once a week, and threw her an engagement shower in Tree Hill. Haley told her she was overcompensating, but Brooke was determined to prove she was perfectly happy for them. She didn't want anyone to guess the truth: she was still in love with her best friend's fiancé. Strangely, she hadn't seen Peyton and Lucas at the same time since they got engaged, which made things easier. All the times Peyton had visited her, she had been alone. And, when Lucas came to New York, he was always alone. Brooke suddenly recognized that this was kind of odd. Why hadn't she noticed before? Maybe she needed to believe that they were blissfully happy; she had to buy into their fantasy in order to keep her sanity and move on.

Brooke realized she was still clutching Lucas's manuscript. She laid it flat on her lap and ran her fingers over Lucas's handwritten note. The past didn't matter; she needed to focus on the present. Two of the people she cared for most were lying in a hospital; one hovering near death, the other in extreme emotional pain. If the events of the last couple of days had taught her one thing, it was that life was too short to waste energy on dwelling on what past hurts and old wounds. She needed to get to Lucas, hug him tightly and tell him know that she was never going to let him go again, no matter what.


	7. Hanging by a Moment

**I've done something a little different in this chapter - instead of just one character's point of view, we shift between three of them. All flashbacks (in italics) are from Luke's point of view. I hope you all enjoy it and I appreciate any comments and reviews.**

**I kinda forgot to mention last time that I don't own OTH or any of the characters associated with it. Still don't.**

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**Chapter 7 – Hanging by a Moment**

_"I'm falling even more in love with you; letting go of all I've held onto. I'm standing here until you make me move. I'm hanging by a moment here with you. I'm living for the only thing I know; I'm running and not quite sure where to go. And I don't know what I'm diving into; just hanging by a moment here with you." – Lifehouse_

_Tree Hill – 18 Months Ago_

_Lucas stood in the middle of the terminal, waiting for her to arrive. He was happy to see her; it had been far too long. At the same time, he was dreading this visit. Lucas sighed. He knew she wasn't happy about his engagement to Peyton. His brother, Nathan, appeared beside him._

"_Any sign of her, yet?" he asked._

_Lucas shook his head. "No. I hope she didn't miss the flight."_

_Nathan snorted. "Seems to me you wouldn't mind so much if that happened," He turned and looked at his brother. "And why did you invite her down here for my son's birthday?"_

_Lucas shrugged. "She's always wanted to meet you and Hales...she says she feels like she knows you guys already."_

"_Yeah, well, to me she's just your editor. I don't know her. And thanks to you writing that book, all kinds of freaks think they know me." _

"_Nate, relax. You'll like Lindsay. She and Brooke hit it off," Lucas ignored the pang in his chest as he spoke Brooke's name. She still hadn't responded to any of his emails or voicemail messages. _

_Nathan laughed. "Brooke gets along with pretty much anyone," he was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke again, his tone was serious. "Are Brooke and Peyton talking, yet?"_

"_No. And, she's not talking to me, either."_

"_I don't blame her. It was pretty shitty of you guys to call her up and drop that bomb on her in the middle of her fashion show or whatever. And Peyton telling her that she was the first to know – that was especially shitty. She was at the bottom of your list."_

_Lucas glared at his younger brother. "We wanted her to hear it from us."_

"_Then you shouldn't have waited until after you'd already told me and Haley and Jamie and Karen and Andy and Lily and Skillz and Whitey and-"_

"_Okay, I get the point." Lucas snapped._

"_Hey, don't get pissy at me. Brooke's one of my best friends and I don't like the way you and Peyton treated her." Nathan looked at his brother, evenly. "And, I have no problem telling you that."_

_Lucas took a deep breath. He really didn't want to get into a fight with Nathan at the airport, but he was getting pissed about the attitude. "Brooke and I broke up ages ago. She's been fine with the idea of me and Peyton in the past. Yes, I agree we should have been a little more sensitive in our timing, but..." Lucas trailed off._

"_But, what? You guys couldn't have gone to see her in person to tell her?" Nathan shook his head, again, cutting himself off. "Whatever. You're supposed to be like the sensitive writer, but sometimes you're such a jerk."_

_Lucas clenched his fist. "What are you saying?"_

"_Nothing. Just forget it." Nathan looked down. "I don't want to fight with you, Luke. Haley and I just want you to be happy."_

_Lucas looked at Nathan, steadily. "I __am__ happy."_

_Nathan shrugged, again. "If you say so," He looked at Lucas, again. His dark eyes bore intensely into Lucas's own."Brooke's here. She flew in last night."_

_Lucas took an involuntary step backwards, and felt a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. He opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. Nathan kept staring at him, sizing up his reaction. A tiny smirk had appeared at the corner of his brother's mouth. Before he could react, Lucas heard someone calling his name._

"_Luke! Over here!" He turned to see Lindsay waving at him, a few feet away._

_Lucas returned her wave and turned back to Nathan. "This isn't over," he said, in a low voice._

_Nathan's smirk deepened. "I didn't think so."_

* * *

Nathan walked into the hospital room. He hesitated for a moment before approaching the foot of the bed. Lucas looked pretty rough, although Nathan had seen him look a lot worse. He had a nasty gash on his forehead and he had bruises on his face, like he'd been in a fight. Nathan sat down in a chair beside him. Lucas's breathing was ragged and shallow – he was out cold. The doctor had to sedate him, for his own good. He'd been almost hysterical when he woke up earlier. They assumed it was because he was distraught over Peyton's condition. Nathan had his doubts, but he kept them to himself. He rubbed the side of his face and sat back, observing his brother as he slept. He'd tried to get some information about Peyton's condition, but since he wasn't immediate family, all they would tell him was that her condition was critical and that she was in surgery.

Nathan worried about Lucas. He did not seem happy; he seemed restless, unsettled. Both he and Haley had observed his melancholy over the past few years. Hell, Luke had always been brooding – that squinty look with the pensive frown. Nathan remembered it well. It was practically Lucas's permanent expression for the past few years. Things had gotten worse after the engagement to Peyton. It was at the point where he knew Luke and Peyton spent more time apart than together. Sawyer's birth seemed to only have made things worse. Their relationship was like that Britney Spears song – _Toxic_. Haley was beside herself with worry – Lucas rarely confided in her anymore. It devastated her. She missed her best friend. Nathan tried to remember the last time he had seen Lucas truly happy. It was a long time ago...too long.

* * *

_Lucas drove up the long driveway to his brother's house. It was right on the beach, but situated on a private road, and the houses were separated by ornate gates and brick fences. He supposed that the privacy was necessary, now that Nate was a point-guard for the Charlotte Bobcats. At least one of them had made it to the NBA. Lucas had just wrapped up a meeting with Lindsay. She needed to return some calls and then she was going to take a cab over to join them for dinner. He wanted to have a chance to visit with Hales and Jamie beforehand...and he was hoping to catch a glimpse of Brooke and maybe talk to her, finally. He pulled up in front of the house. Well, he supposed it could be classified as a mansion. Lucas got out of the car and walked inside. Strange, the place seemed deserted. Lucas wandered into the kitchen and pulled a beer out of the fridge. He could hear voices drifting in from outside. He walked out on to the deck. Below, he had a view of the backyard. Nathan and Jamie were playing catch and chasing each other around the yard, as Haley implored then to come inside, so Jamie could wash up. He smiled down at the little family. He wanted that for himself, one day._

_A low, throaty laugh reached his ears. His heart beat faster, as he turned and saw Brooke at the other end of the deck. She, too, was watching the action down below and she hadn't yet caught sight of him. Lucas ducked behind a ficus tree, and continued observing her as he tried to figure out a way to approach her. Tonight, she wore denim cut-offs, a yellow tank top and flip flops. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. Lucas took a deep breath. At that moment, he thought she looked absolutely stunning. As if sensing his eyes on her, Brooke whipped her head around, tendrils of hair falling from her ponytail and framing her face._

"_Lucas?" she asked, tentatively. "Why are you hiding back there?"_

_Lucas emerged from his hiding spot. He glanced at her, but he had trouble meeting her eyes. Why was she having this effect on him? "Hello, Brooke Davis. It's good to see you." He held out his arms, and she hugged him, laughing. He closed his eyes as he inhaled the familiar scent of her shampoo._

"_Good to see you, too, Lucas Scott," Brooke pulled away and looked him up and down. "You look really good."_

"_You look good, too, Brooke."_

_She laughed again and his heart beat even faster. "I'm a mess. We just got back from the beach." She looked past him, warily. "Is Peyton with you?"_

_Lucas stepped away from her, at the mention of Peyton's name. "No, she's visiting her brother, Derek. He just got back from another tour in Iraq. And she's busy unpacking and getting settled in Durham."_

"_Oh." Brooke looked visibly relieved. _

_Before he could reply, he heard a deafening shriek._

"_Uncle Luke!!!!" Jamie screeched, scrambling up the stairs to the top of the deck. "You're here!" _

_Lucas laughed as his nephew barrelled into him. He swept him up into a hug. "Hey, bud. You know I wouldn't miss your birthday."_

"_You missed the beach. Auntie Brooke swam with me and we built a sandcastle and then we buried Daddy, but he got away. And then, we played catch and tag and all kinds of other games." Jamie chattered a mile a minute when he was excited, much like his mother._

"_Sounds like you had fun with Aunt Brooke," Lucas winked at Brooke, who beamed at Jamie and ruffled his hair._

_Jamie squirmed in Lucas's arms and reached over for Brooke."I love Auntie Brooke. She's my favourite." Lucas passed Jamie over to Brooke's arms. "I wish you could live with us all the time."_

_Brooke smiled, sadly."Me too, buddy. But, soon you will be coming to visit me in New York. We can go skating in Central Park and to the zoo, and all kind of other fun things!"_

"_Brooke, I hope you won't be spoiling him too much," Haley climbed the stairs. "Luke, I'm so happy you were able to come," she hugged her best friend. _

"_Good to see you, Hales...Peyton's sorry she couldn't be here. She sends you all her love."_

_Haley nodded. "Yeah, it's too bad. But we have both of Jamie's god-parents here and Jamie is over the moon, in case you couldn't guess. Come on, Jimmy-Jam, time to get you cleaned up for dinner. Oh, and Nathan's shooting hoops if you want to join him, Luke."_

_Brooke put Jamie down and he reluctantly followed his mother inside. There was an uncomfortable silence before Brooke spoke up, again. "I never congratulated you and Peyton. I'm sorry for that."_

"_Peyton misses you," He said simply._

_Brooke only nodded. "Well, I'm going to clean up for dinner, too. I guess I'll see you later." She walked back inside. _

_Lucas gazed at her retreating back. Nathan was wrong – she just saw him as a friend. There was nothing in her countenance to suggest otherwise. He was relieved, but it was mingled with something like regret. Lucas took a swig of his beer and pushed those thoughts aside as he descended the stairs, looking forward to tearing it up with Nathan on his brand-new basketball court._

* * *

Nathan jumped slightly, as he felt his cell phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled out his phone and shot a quick glance at Luke, who still appeared unconscious. Whatever they had given him, it must be really good shit. There was a text from Brooke. Her plane had landed and she was coming straight to the hospital. Nathan let out a sigh of relief. He was glad Brooke would be here, soon. It would be good to have someone else to wait and worry with. He texted a quick reply to Brooke, with the latest news on Lucas and Peyton's conditions, before slipping the phone back into his pocket. When he looked up, he was surprised to see Lucas staring at him.

"Luke, how are you feeling? You've been out for awhile." Nathan leaned forward, anxiously. His brother's eyes were glassy and unfocused, probably from the drugs.

"Where is she?" Luke asked, sounding groggy.

Nathan frowned. "Peyton? She's still in surgery, last I heard. I'm sure the doctor will tell us something soon."

"No, not Peyton..." Lucas's eyes closed for a moment. "Brooke...it's always been Brooke, Nate. She said she'd be here as fast as she can. Where is she? I need her."

"Brooke?" Nathan struggled to keep the surprise out of his voice. When had Lucas talked to Brooke? "Luke, she's on her way. She'll be here real soon, promise." He wasn't sure if Lucas even heard him; he'd drifted off again. Nathan sat back in his chair and considered this. Had Lucas finally taken his head out of his ass and realized that it was time to end the charade with Peyton? Was he finally admitting that he was in love with Brooke? Or was it just the drugs? Nathan wondered.

* * *

_After dinner, Nathan, Luke and Lindsay were sitting around a table on the patio, enjoying the mild June evening. Lindsay and Nathan were talking basketball, while Luke sipped his drink. Nathan had made a pitcher of lime margaritas, which was four parts tequila to one part lime mix. Lucas was already buzzed. Delicious, but deadly. A few minutes later, Haley reappeared. Brooke was still upstairs with Jamie who wanted her to read him a story and tuck him in._

_Lindsay was already on her second drink. Lucas could tell she was feeling pretty good. "So. What did you two think of Lucas's novel?"_

"_Lindsay..." Lucas sighed. He had a feeling he knew where this was going. He was kind of surprised she hadn't brought it up earlier. He wondered if she had purposely waited until Brooke was otherwise occupied._

"_Lucas..." she mocked him. "I'm curious to find out what your brother and your best friend think of your masterpiece. Aren't you curious? I'm curious."_

_Haley smiled at Lucas and squeezed his arm. "Of course, we loved it. I always knew you were an extremely talented writer. Luke's got a way with words."_

_Lindsay laughed. "Don't I know it! Nathan, what do you think of Luke's book?"_

_Nathan smirked and took a long sip of his drink. He glanced over at Lucas, who shook his head. "I thought it was pretty good, even though he made me look like an ass."_

_Everyone laughed. "Well, you were an ass," Lucas replied._

"_True," Nathan shrugged. "I'm the first to admit it. Luckily, Mrs. Scott set me straight."_

_Haley rolled her eyes, but smiled up at her husband, tenderly. "Toughest tutoring job I ever had."_

_Nathan leaned over and kissed her on the lips. "You enjoyed every minute."_

"_Well, almost every minute," she giggled._

"_Good god! Are they always this nauseating?" Lindsay demanded._

_Lucas smiled, "Only all the time."_

"_Okay, okay, break it up, lovebirds. What did you think about the ending?" Lindsay continued her line of questioning._

_Haley and Nathan immediately ceased canoodling and exchanged a look. "What do you mean? It's an autobiography – that's how things ended up." Haley replied, nonchalantly._

_Lucas furrowed his brow. Something had shifted in Haley's tone. She seemed almost uncomfortable. He thought back to his discussion with Nate at the airport. Did Haley share Nathan's point of view on his engagement to Peyton?_

_Lindsay pulled her blonde hair back and sighed. "I'm going to be blunt – I've always hated the ending. I think Lucas made the wrong choice in the book and in real life." Lindsay polished off her margarita. "Wow, Nate. These are way too good."_

"_Lindsay," Lucas said her name quietly. It was one thing for her to bring it up to him, privately, but he really didn't appreciate her roping Nathan and Haley into this._

_Lindsay turned her gaze towards him, her light blue eyes filled with concern. "Luke, I am more than your editor. I like to think of us as friends. I respect your work, but more importantly, I care about you as a dear friend," Lindsay put her hand on his arm. "I know you're a grown man, and you can make your own decisions, but I really think marrying Peyton is a big mistake."_

_Lucas shook her hand off his arm. "Lindsay, enough. You're right: I am a grown man. I love Peyton and I am going to marry her. End of story."_

_Nathan leaned forward and took another sip of his drink. He glanced over at Haley, who frowned and shook her head. "Here's the thing, Luke: I totally agree with Lindsay."_

_Now, Lucas was pissed. "Nate, what the hell?" He couldn't believe his own brother had turned against him._

_Nathan shrugged. "I agree with Lindsay," He repeated, "You shouldn't marry Peyton. You two are not good for each other."_

"_They'll make each other miserable," Lindsay interjected._

"_Have another margarita!" Lucas shot back. "We've all heard your opinion already!" He turned back to his brother. "What makes you so sure we're going to be miserable? And since when are we so bad for each other? I don't recall too many people objecting to us as a couple in high school. Besides, I've loved her for a long time."_

"_I seem to recall you once telling Brooke she was the girl for you." Nathan commented._

"_That was a long time ago."_

"_But, you did love her. You were way happier with her than you ever were with Peyton. Any time Peyton got involved, things with you and Brooke got fucked up," Nathan paused, noting and ignoring Haley's warning glare before continuing."Brooke Davis was the best thing that ever happened to you and you tossed her aside to chase after Tree Hill's resident drama queen."_

_Lucas scowled at his brother. "Shut up, Nathan."_

_Nathan ignored him. "I think you're addicted to drama, and rescuing damsels in distress and shit. Brooke was strong and didn't have stalkers chasing her or birth mothers showing up on her doorstep. It's like you get off on being the knight in shining armour. You can only truly love someone if they're a whacked-out basket case in constant need of your help."_

"_Nate," Haley softly interjected, seeing the stricken expression on Luke's face._

"_No, Hales, someone's got to say it. Luke, you only want to be with Peyton because she's a freakin' attention whore and you totally feed into it. The shitty thing is Brooke never stopped loving you and you don't deserve her," Nathan paused and glanced at Haley, who was shaking her head, sadly. "And, I think if you stopped for a moment and pulled your head out of your ass, you'd figure out that you're in love with her, too."_

"_Hear, hear," Lindsay said, quietly, raising her glass._

_Lucas got to his feet and stood, glaring at each of them, in turn. "I don't know why you people can't accept that I love Peyton and want to spend the rest of my life with her. Yes, Brooke and dated for about a minute in high school. Yes, at the time, I loved her and I still do – but only as a friend! I care for her, but what I feel for Peyton is so much more. Peyton always meant more to me. She is the one I always have and always will love." He was upset and angry at being ganged up on. Still, a small part of him wondered if there was truth to Nathan's words._

_Haley reached for his hand, but he jerked it away. "Lucas, please," she pleaded._

"_I need to go for a walk," he muttered, turning around to see Brooke standing in the doorway, staring right at him. Her porcelain skin was paler than usual and she was blinking her eyelashes rapidly, as if attempting to ward off tears. "Brooke –" he whispered._

_She laughed, bitterly. "Please don't stop on my account. I'll get out of your way, so you all can continue talking about me behind my back." Before anyone could speak, Brooke pushed past Lucas and ran down the steps, and disappeared in the dark, towards the beach._

* * *

Brooke pulled her cell phone out of her purse and quickly texted Nathan. She needed to know exactly where Lucas was. She didn't want to waste time asking around at the information desk. The cab driver said they'd be at the hospital in a few minutes. Within seconds, Nate returned her text. Brooke sighed, and began scrolling though her missed call list, to keep her hands busy. Rachel had called, so had Millie and Tatiana, and Haley. She frowned. There was also a strange number that was showing up. It was a Raleigh area code...and whoever it was had left a message. Brooke was just about to dial into to her voicemail so she could listen to the message when she realized that they'd arrived at the hospital. She quickly paid the cabbie, giving him a generous tip. The mysterious voicemail message was forgotten as she gathered her belongings and rushed up to the entrance of the hospital.

* * *

_He found Brooke on the beach. She stood barefoot at the edge of the water, allowing the waves to wash up over her feet. She was staring out over the dark ocean, where the starry sky met the black water. Lucas paused for a second, watching her. Her head bowed forward and she looked down at her feet, watching the water wash over her feet and then recede over and over again. Lucas wondered if what Nathan said was true – did she still love him? His heart fluttered and his palms began to sweat. He wiped his hands on his jeans. He hadn't felt this way in a long time; nervous, excited, confused. He had no idea what he was going to say. _

_As if sensing his presence, Brooke turned and looked in his direction. "I figured you'd find me, eventually," she said, softly._

_Lucas ducked his head, hiding a slight smile. He kicked his shoes off and walked towards her. He joined her at the edge of the surf. They were both quiet for a moment, as they gazed out into the darkness. Lucas was hyper-aware of her presence. They were standing closely together, their arms almost brushing. He could smell her shampoo, mingled with sunscreen and her perfume. Lucas caught off guard by how quickly he was transported back to high school, back when they used to date. His heart was pounding so hard, he was sure he could hear it. He glanced over at her, noting her tightly-crossed arms. She caught his glance and allowed a small smile. But, she was still silent._

_Somebody had to say something. Lucas desperately wanted to talk to her, but he didn't know what to say. All of his thoughts and emotions were jumbled in his mind. A few hours ago, he knew exactly what he wanted, but now...he wondered._

"_Brooke –" he started. She turned towards him, her hazel eyes glittering. He could see the flecks of green and gold glinting in the darkness. He stopped, unsure how to proceed. For once, he was at a loss for words._

"_Luke, you don't have to say anything," Brooke whispered. "I'd kind of prefer if you didn't."_

"_Brooke, I feel like I need to explain about what Nathan said, about what I said," Lucas reached over to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, but she caught his hand and brushed it away._

_She shook her head. "No, no you don't. Peyton was your first choice, your dream girl. You made your choice long ago, Luke. I get it."_

_Lucas remained silent for a few moments. Her expression was unreadable, and her eyes, usually so expressive, were veiled. He had no idea what she was thinking. "Do you think I should marry Peyton?"_

_She barely blinked. "I think you should do what makes you happy. If Peyton makes you happy, then you should. All I ask is that you take care of her."_

_Lucas looked away, his heart sinking. Nathan must have overestimated Brooke's feelings for him. He remained silent._

"_Luke," Brooke tilted her head to one side and smiled at him. "No matter what happens, I always have been and always will be your friend."_

_Lucas returned her smile. "I appreciate that, Brooke. You know that goes double for me."_

_She nodded, and her smile grew a little wider, her dimples deepening. "Let's head back. They're probably worried out of their minds or drunk off their asses." She bent down to retrieve her sandals._

"_Just a second, Brooke. What you said just now...that seems very familiar."_

"_What do you mean?" she asked innocently._

_Lucas rolled his eyes. "'I always have been and always will be your friend.' That's from Star Trek. I never would have thought for one moment that Brooke Davis was a Trekkie."_

_Brooke smirked and started walking back to the house, ahead of him. "I don't know what you're talking about. I just made that up, just now."_

_Lucas laughed and followed behind her. Even though Nathan had been mistaken about Brooke's feelings for him, his little brother was right about one thing: he was still in love with Brooke Davis._

* * *

Lucas opened his eyes and blinked a few times. He'd been having strangely vivid dreams. He was lost in memories about Brooke and when he realized he still loved her. He looked over to see Nathan sitting in a chair beside his bed. "So, it wasn't a dream." He whispered. "You're really here."

Nathan's head snapped up. "Luke? Are you really awake this time?" Lucas could see the concern in Nathan's eyes.

"Yeah, I think so." He shifted himself up to a sitting position. "How long have I been out?"

Nathan shrugged. "Off and on the last four, five hours. How do you feel?"

Lucas sighed. "My head's pounding and my arm's killing me," he held up his right arm, which was encased in a cast.

Nathan ran his hand through his dark hair. "You were talking a lot in your sleep. You kept asking for Brooke. And you also kept saying 'she's not mine.' Want to tell me what that's about?"

Lucas remained silent. He did not want to discuss Sawyer's paternity, not now. "Have you heard from Brooke? Is she coming?"

Nathan nodded. "Yeah, she should be here right away." He looked at Lucas, with a puzzled expression on his face. "You haven't asked about Peyton. Or Sawyer. What's going on?"

Lucas looked away from his brother. He wasn't up to explaining the whole mess at the moment. He opened his mouth to tell Nathan that, when he saw Brooke standing in the doorway of his room. Her hair was swept up in an elegant hairstyle and her make-up was flawless, but she was wearing yoga pants and an old hoodie – _his_ old hoodie from his Uncle Keith's garage. He'd always wondered where that had disappeared to. She dropped her bag and ran over to his bedside, her eyes filled with a mixture of worry, relief and love.

"Oh my god, Luke. Are you okay?" Her voice nearly cracked and he could see the tears glimmering in her eyes.

Lucas smiled. "I am so glad you're here, Pretty Girl. I think I'll be okay, now that you're here." He reached up with his left hand and took her hand.

Brooke sat down on the edge of the bed and gently ran her fingers over the gash on his forehead. She wiped away the tears that were threatening to spill over and smiled at Lucas. "I love you so much," she whispered.

Nathan quietly got to his feet and left the room, to give them their privacy. They were sharing an intimate moment and he didn't want to intrude. He had so many questions, but he supposed they could wait. He picked up Brooke's bags and put them on a chair before walking out to the waiting room to call Haley.

Lucas gently placed his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her towards him. "I love you, too," he whispered. He then pressed his lips against hers, kissing her urgently and deeply. Brooke was surprised by his strength, but she eagerly responded, like she did the previous night. God, she loved kissing him. Lucas reluctantly broke the kiss, as his headache was worsening. He lay back down on the pillows and Brooke kissed him gently on the forehead.

"Excuse me, Mr. Scott." Lucas and Brooke turned towards the door. Dr. Vaughn stood in the doorway. "Ms. Sawyer – Peyton – has just come out of surgery."

Brooke stood up, tightly clasping Lucas's hand in hers. She looked at Lucas, anxiously. Lucas squeezed her hand. They were both silent, waiting for the doctor to continue.

* * *

"_Desperate for changing, starving for truth. I'm closer to where I started, chasing after you...."_

**I've already started on the next chapter and I hope to have it posted by Christmas. And, don't worry - questions will start being answered very soon. :) **


	8. Sleepless

**Hi and Happy New Year! Sorry about the delay - holidays were far more hectic than I anticipated. Here is chapter 8 - more drama, but that's Tree Hill for us, right. Thank you all so much for your reviews and adding this story to your favorites. You don't know what that means to me. Enjoy...**

**Chapter 8 – Sleepless**

"_Give me all your disappointments; I'll give you my secrets. We could lay our heads down, or be forever sleepless. Four billion people surround us; so many souls lose their way. All that we have is each other and that's all I ever wanted." – Jann Arden_

* * *

Brooke stood at Lucas's bedside, her hand gripping his tightly. The doctor was looking at them, a grave expression on her face. Brooke's stomach turned over. It was bad news; she could just tell. Her mouth had suddenly gone dry and she was biting her bottom lip to keep from screaming at the doctor to hurry up and tell them the news about Peyton.

Dr. Vaughn cast a glance at Brooke. "Perhaps, you would like to speak in private?" she asked Lucas.

Brooke's eyes widened and she looked at Lucas, pleadingly. She wanted to be here, no, she _needed_ to be here with him. Lucas squeezed her hand, again.

"Actually, doctor, this is Brooke Davis - one of Peyton's oldest friends and the godmother of her daughter. You can go ahead...we're quite anxious for any news." Lucas spoke matter-of-factly, but Brooke could hear a slight tremor in his voice. It did not escape her notice that he'd referred to Sawyer solely as Peyton's daughter.

The doctor nodded and met both of their gazes. "As we told you earlier today, Lucas, Peyton suffered a number of serious injuries in the accident. She has a number of broken bones, and a massive amount of internal bleeding. The surgical team was successful in stopping the bleeding," Dr. Vaughn paused for a moment before continuing. "However, the head injury was the main cause for concern. A CAT scan revealed that Peyton had suffered an acute subdural hematoma - where blood fills the brain, putting pressure on brain tissues. If the pressure isn't relieved, it can result in permanent brain injury."

Brooke suddenly felt faint. She sat down on the edge of Lucas's bed and threw a panicked glance in his direction. His expression was stoic, but his eyes were filled with worry. It was at this moment Brooke realized that everything was not going to simply work itself out. But, she still hoped. "Doctor...is she going to be okay?" Brooke winced at how childish she sounded.

To her dismay, Dr. Vaughn looked at her sadly and shook her head. "I'm afraid they weren't able to relieve the pressure in time. There is nothing more than can be done. All we can do at this point is make her comfortable. She is not expected to survive the night."

Brooke let out a strangled sob. "I don't understand. Peyton cannot be dying. It's just not possible."

The doctor gazed at them sympathetically. "I'm sorry. "

"Can we see her? To say good-bye..." Brooke asked softly. She felt like she was choking on the words. She shivered; it was as if she had plunged into icy cold water. It was as if she would never feel warm again.

"Of course you may. If you need anything, do not hesitate to ask." The doctor left the room.

Brooke began sobbing. She felt so cold. How could Peyton be dying? Not possible. Just not fucking possible. She dropped Lucas's hand and buried her face in her hands, giving herself over to the searing grief ripping through her.

* * *

Lucas stared at Brooke, and listened to the most heartbroken sobs he had ever heard in his life. She was shivering violently even though she was wearing his old hoodie. Lucas rubbed her back, soothingly. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and let her know that everything would be okay, except he knew she wouldn't believe him. Hell, he wouldn't believe it himself. Brooke collapsed against him, still sobbing, and buried her head in his chest. He kissed the top of her head and murmured soothing nonsensical words. He felt that as long as he had someone to be strong for, he wouldn't lose it. Maybe it was the shock of enduring everything that had happened over the past 24 hours; but when the thought of Peyton dying just made him feel numb. As he cradled Brooke with his good arm and listened to her cries, he wondered why he wasn't weeping along with her. He had known Peyton for a long time; even if they were no longer in love, shouldn't he feel something? This was a woman he had worshipped for many years, a woman he had wanted to spend his life with at one point, a woman he was raising a child with. Instead, he thought of how the truth of Sawyer's paternity and all her other secrets would die with her. Lucas felt guilty. _What the fuck is wrong with me? _

He squeezed Brooke close to him. Her sobs were beginning to subside. This day...Lucas sighed – it felt like it had been going on forever. Last night, in New York with Brooke, seemed so far away. He desperately wished they could go back – when their biggest problem was breaking the news of their reunion to Peyton.

* * *

_They were cuddled up together under the soft blanket Brooke had brought over from the living room. He sipped at his wine and gazed at the view below. "I don't think Peyton is in love with me," he mused. "I don't think she's felt that way about me since high school."_

_Brooke turned towards him, her right eyebrow raised. "Then why did she agree to marry you?"_

_Lucas shrugged. "I've been wondering that myself. I don't know. I really don't." Lucas was quiet for a moment. "When I showed up at her place in L.A., she looked so broken, so sad. I wanted to make her happy again; I wanted to make both of us happy...just like how things used to be in high school."_

"_Ha!" Brooke rolled her eyes. "Sorry, please continue."_

_Lucas smiled. "I know. It was all an illusion. Peyton and I were never truly happy. We were too immersed in constant drama to have a real relationship. But, at the time, I thought it was the way things were meant to be – destiny." Lucas finished his glass of wine and Brooke wordlessly refilled it, topping up her own, as well. "But we aren't happy. Peyton's not the same. She barely talks to me – really talks to me, I mean."_

_Brooke looked up and bit her lower lip. "Peyton went through a lot during the years you were apart, Luke. She went to some very dark places. I'm amazed she was able to come out of it alive."_

_Lucas sighed, heavily. "I guess I was naive to think we'd be able to pick up where we left off. We never once discussed wedding plans, you know that? No talk of setting a date, nothing."_

"_I know." Brooke looked at him, significantly. "Didn't you think that was at all unusual?"_

"_I guess? Maybe I was having my own doubts by then. I wasn't exactly eager to jump into wedding planning, either." He ran a hand through his hair. "I actually thought she was going to leave me, several times. She'd disappear for a week at a time, here and there. I never really called her on it, because I was away so often...usually here in New York."_

"_Why didn't you leave her, then?" Brooke asked, softly. _

_Lucas gazed at her. It was hard for him to articulate why he hadn't left. He often asked himself the same question. "I don't know..." he said, slowly. "I think part of it had to do with how much shit we had to go through in order to be together. I thought that once we were together, everything would be fine. I know, it's totally ridiculous, but I actually clung to that for many years. It's like I would have to admit to myself and to everyone else that things weren't perfect, that I was wrong." He took a long swig of wine. "Instead, we caused so much heartache for ourselves and others...I ended up losing you."_

_Brooke smiled, sadly and got to her feet and wandered over to the kitchen. Lucas finished his glass of wine – what was it, his third or fourth glass? He stared out at the view laid out below. So many lights, so many lives, so many stories to be told._

"_Hey, Broody...you're at it again." Brooke warm voice brought him back from where he had drifted off to. She had returned with another bottle of wine. She settled back down beside him and filled both of their glasses._

_Luke smiled at her; he was so happy he was with her tonight. "Brooke...I wish I'd never let you go. I should have fought for you. I need you to understand that I'm not here because things suck with Peyton...I'm here because I never stopped loving you." He reached up and brushed her hair away from her face and traced the line of her cheekbone. "And I never will."_

_Brooke looked at Lucas, her eyes twinkling. "You're drunk, Broody."_

_Lucas chuckled. "What are you, then? I saw you weaving your way to the kitchen." Brooke threw back her head and laughed. God, how he loved that laugh. She leaned her head on his shoulder. They fell silent, again. Lucas took another swig of wine, nearly draining his glass. There was something else he wanted to tell her, something he had never told anyone. It was a good thing he was drunk; he wouldn't be able to say it out loud, otherwise. _

"_Brooke?"_

"_Mmmhmm?" She glanced up at him, questioningly._

_Lucas took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. He had to say it, quickly. It would be like ripping off a band-aid; painful at first, but then it would be okay. "I've never told anyone about this. It's a feeling I've had for awhile, but I have no proof. And I feel awful for even suspecting this."_

_Brooke sat up and took her hand in his. "What is it, Luke?"_

_Lucas sighed and dropped her gaze, so Brooke wouldn't see his eyes filling with tears. "When I finally found out that Peyton was pregnant, my first thought was that the baby might not be mine. I still feel like shit for thinking that. But sometimes when things are really bad, my mind goes there," he whispered. "I don't know why; I love Sawyer so much and she is the best thing in my life, the only good thing to come out of my relationship with Peyton. I don't know why I have these doubts. Maybe I'm turning into Dan, unable to accept my own child." Lucas glanced up quickly and met Brooke's eyes. They were wide with surprise, her lips parted slightly. Without any words, she enveloped him in a hug and began stroking his hair. He buried his face in her hair and for the first time in a long time, he felt as if things would actually be okay._

* * *

Brooke sat up and wiped at her eyes. She took a couple of deep breaths, trying to get hold of her emotions. Now that she had time to absorb the shock of the doctor's news, she could start to think clearly. She turned to Lucas, who was still stroking her back. They stared at each other silently. His blue eyes were dark with sorrow and pain. He looked a little pale, too pale. "Luke, are you okay?" she whispered.

He nodded, silently.

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm going to find Nathan and let him know..." she trailed off, unsure of what to say next. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Lucas nodded, again. "Yeah, I'll be okay. I think."

Brooke gave his hand a final squeeze, grabbed her purse and headed into the hallway. She pulled her phone out of her purse and dialled Millie's number. There was no response, so Brooke left her a message. She leaned against the wall, thinking. She trusted Millie to watch over things while she was away. She had no idea how long she would be gone for. A week? A month? Six months? Brooke counted her blessings once again that her mother had remarried some billionaire and no longer had any interest in meddling in Clothes over Bros. She leaned back and closed her eyes. She couldn't leave Luke – and Sawyer. Whether Luke was Sawyer's father, or not, Brooke was still her godmother; and she had promised to care for her if something happened.

"_Bling, bling! We're beautiful and dirty rich!" _Brooke's eyes opened at the sound of her ringtone and she frowned down at the phone in her hand. It was the mystery number that she'd noticed on her call display earlier. She briefly debated on whether she should pick it up or let it go to voicemail. She was curious to find out who it was; but she hesitated. What if it was a crazy stalker who had seen her in a tabloid and wanted to kidnap her and feed her frozen waffles in his mountain shack? Brooke shrugged to herself and picked up.

"Hello?"

"Brooke? Brooke Davis?" A vaguely familiar male voice asked.

Brooke's brow furrowed. "Who's this?"

"It's me, Jake."

Brooke's jaw dropped. "Jake Jagielski? From Tree Hill High? How did you get my number?"

"Um, Peyton gave it to me, just in case. Listen, Brooke, is she with you? I really need to talk to her." Jake sounded anxious. "I've left a couple of messages already..."

Brooke closed her eyes, again. "What the fuck?" she muttered before clapping a hand over her mouth.

"What?"

"I'm sorry – Jake, things have been...well, they've been fucked right up today. When was the last time you spoke with Peyton?" Brooke was astonished. She hadn't spoken to Jake since...well, she couldn't remember. Junior year? Why the hell would Peyton have given her personal cell number out to some guy Brooke hadn't seen in 7 years? She knew they'd started working together a few months before Sawyer was born, at this club Jake owned. It was still weird.

Jake hesitated for a moment. "She's not with you. She never made it to New York."

"No, no, she didn't."

"Fuck. I knew when I talked to Luke earlier –"

"Wait, you talked to Luke? When? Why?"

"I don't know, like 3 hours ago. I called Peyton on her cell and he answered." Jake sighed, heavily. "I haven't been able to reach her since. Have you heard from her at all? I'm going out of my mind, here. I just want to make sure she's okay. " His voice broke

Brooke gasped, as it all began to click. Peyton was leaving Luke for Jake; like Luke was leaving Peyton for her. The parallel was unnerving. But, that meant – could Jake be Sawyer's father? Brooke felt a couple of fresh tears slip down her cheeks. He sounded so frantic, like she had been a few hours ago. "You still love her, don't you?"

"Yeah, yeah, I do. I never stopped loving her. I only wanted her to be happy."

She bit her lip, trying to suppress a sob. "Jake, there was an accident. I'm in Durham. I would have called you back, but I didn't know. It's bad news, Jake. I am so sorry."

Jake was quiet for a moment and when he spoke again, Brooke could hear the tears in his voice. "Is she...did she-?"

Brooke shook her head, tears now falling freely. "Not yet." She whispered, softly.

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Jake, wait. Are you-" she hesitated, wondering if it was a good time to ask the question weighing on her mind. "Never mind."

"Brooke, I promise I'll explain everything when I see you. I'm on my way." Jake hung up.

Brooke stood in the middle of the hallway, trying to sort out her thoughts. Peyton and Jake. Peyton had barely mentioned him; then again, they hadn't exactly had many heart-to-hearts in the last few months. She slowly walked towards the waiting room to look for Nathan. Halfway there, Brooke stopped. She turned around and walked back the way she came, past Luke's room, towards the elevators.

* * *

_New York – Nine Months Ago_

"_Brooke, I don't know what to do."_

_Brooke glanced up at her friend. They were browsing through old records at a thrift shop in the Village. It wasn't really Brooke's scene, but Peyton was in town for the weekend and she seemed kind of down. Usually, digging through old vinyl cheered her up. It didn't appear to be working, this time. Since she had arrived, Peyton seemed preoccupied. Something was bothering her, but Brooke hadn't dared to ask. She knew Peyton would talk when she was ready. "About what, P. Sawyer?"_

_Peyton glanced around and shook her head. "Not here. Let's go for a walk."_

_Brooke arched her eyebrows in surprise. "Okay, but are you sure you're done already? We haven't gone through those dusty stacks over there, yet. And you haven't even bought anything."_

"_I'm not really in the mood. I just want to walk and talk with THE Brooke Davis." Peyton linked arms with Brooke and they crossed the street towards Washington Square Park. Brooke regaled her with tales of Rachel's antics and Peyton talked about her brother's recent wedding. They paused at a coffee stand and Peyton bought them each a coffee. They walked around the park until they found a free bench and sat down._

"_Okay, B. Davis. I am going to tell you something and you cannot breathe a word to anyone. Not a soul." Peyton's expression was serious._

_Brooke nodded. "Of course, I promise." She took a sip of her coffee, wondering what Peyton could be talking about._

_Peyton held Brooke's gaze steadily. "I found out a week ago that I'm pregnant."_

_Brooke nearly spat out her coffee. "What? That's – that's amazing!" Brooke's heart was aching, but as usual, she had to appear to be thrilled for Peyton's sake._

_Peyton's frown deepened. "I'm not happy about it. It's the last thing I want right now."_

"_But, Peyton, it's a baby! Sure, it's probably unexpected, but I'm sure you and Luke can-"_

"_I haven't decided if I'm even having the baby, yet. Luke doesn't know and he won't know unless I decide to tell him."_

"_Peyton, what do you mean?" Brooke gazed at her friend, searchingly. What was she thinking? _

"_What do you think I mean?" Peyton looked at Brooke and then quickly looked away, but not before Brooke caught a glimpse of tears in her eyes. "I'm leaning towards an abortion right now."_

_Brooke was silent. She had no idea what to say. "But Peyton, why? You need to tell Luke. He deserves to know."_

"_It's not-"Peyton's voice caught in her throat. "It's not what I want. Not now."_

"_Sweetie, it's unexpected, but I'm sure you can make it work." Brooke put her arm around Peyton's shoulders. Inside, her heart was twisting. Lucas was slipping even further away from her; instead, he was engaged to a woman who wanted to abort his baby because it was coming at an inconvenient time. Outwardly, she was the supportive friend...but it was getting so much harder to keep up the charade. "You just need some time to get used to the idea."_

_Peyton laughed, humourlessly. "Maybe. I know I need time to think, something that isn't a luxury right now." She looked up at Brooke, her green eyes pleading with her. "Let me have this time, Brooke. Please?"_

_Reluctantly, Brooke nodded. "Promise me you'll think it through."_

_Peyton nodded, wiping away tears. Brooke gave her friend a hug and sighed. She couldn't help feeling jealous that Peyton was going to have something she had wanted for so long... a baby – Lucas's baby. And she didn't even want it._

* * *

The elevator doors opened and Brooke found herself outside of the Intensive Care Unit. She didn't know if they would allow her inside, but she needed to see Peyton. Brooke pushed through the heavy doors and walked past the nurses' station. No one paid any attention to her. She walked through the hallways, glancing at names posted beside room numbers. Finally, she found the one she was looking for. She stepped inside the hospital room where her best friend laid, her life slipping away. Peyton's half-brother, Derek, was sitting in a chair beside the bed, his head in his hands. Derek was the only family Peyton had left since her adoptive father, Larry, had passed away a few months ago. Brooke's gaze rested on Peyton. Her hand involuntarily flew to her mouth. She had expected it to be bad, but not like this.

Peyton was lying motionless in the bed, except for the rise and fall of her chest. Brooke moved closer and she noticed that a respirator was doing Peyton's breathing for her. She was hooked up to so many machines...Brooke shakily reached out and carefully took Peyton's hand in hers. She looked closely at Peyton's face, hoping for an eyelash flutter, a twitch, something. Her heart sank as she took in Peyton's battered and bruised face. Worse yet, they had shaved off her beautiful blonde curls – leaving a twisted path of stitches behind from where they tried to repair the damage inflicted when she went through the windshield. She was sure they were all talented surgeons, but Brooke was reminded of Frankenstein's monster and how his various body parts were pieced together. Brooke closed her eyes and turned away.

"I'd always wanted a sister, growing up." She opened her eyes to see Derek standing beside her. He was gazing down at Peyton's broken form, smiling slightly. "But I didn't get one until I was already an adult. When she found me, I didn't want to let her in. But I am so glad that I eventually did. She could be so stubborn and so damn moody, just like me," Derek chuckled. "We have different dads and different skin colours, different life experiences, different everything. But, she was my little sister, even if it was only for a few years." Derek looked at Brooke, his dark eyes filled with a mixture of regret and despair. "I just wish we'd had more time."

Brooke gave him a hug. "I'm sorry, Derek."

"No, I'm sorry, Brooke. You knew her for most of your lives." Derek drew away. "You were like sisters; she loves you like one that's for sure. After all, she trusts you with the most important thing in her life – Sawyer."

"What about Luke?" Brooke tilted her head and watched Derek carefully for his reaction. "He is Sawyer's father."

Derek only turned away and shook his head. "Like I said, Peyton trusts you with her daughter's life."

Brooke opened her mouth to respond, but she was interrupted by a disturbance in the hallway.

"Excuse me, sir. Only immediate family are permitted to visit patients!"

"I need to see her and you are not stopping me from seeing the woman I love before she dies!" Brooke recognized that voice – she had spoken to him less than half-an-hour ago. Brooke turned towards the doorway and saw Jake standing there, gazing at Peyton. She saw the mixture of shock, anger and devastation etched in his face and her heart broke for him.

Derek was telling the nurse that it was okay, to please allow Jake to have some time with Peyton. The nurse relented, grudgingly. He walked past Brooke, as if she was invisible – he was focused completely on Peyton. Brooke backed away; as Jake took Peyton's hand in his and leaned down to kiss her battered forehead. She turned away, to give Jake his privacy to grieve. Tears began streaming down her cheeks, yet again. She hadn't cried this much in years. Seeing Peyton the way she was – it was all becoming too real. She was so preoccupied; she didn't notice that someone else had entered the room.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" an angry voice demanded from the doorway.

Brooke looked up and saw Lucas sitting in a wheelchair, pushed by Nathan. "Luke..." she whispered.

Jake tensed up and then turned to face Lucas. "Funny. I should be asking you the same thing," he said, coldly. "You have no fucking right to be here."

The two men stared each other down, as Brooke, Nathan and Derek silently watched them. And meanwhile Peyton Sawyer continued to struggle through her last hours, unaware of the mayhem taking place at her bedside.


	9. Only In My Head

**Happy belated New Year, everyone! I've been working on this chapter for the last couple of weeks. I left off at a pivotal moment last time, but I didn't just want to jump into that. I wanted to provide a bit more background to the state of Luke and Peyton's relationship and how we are often our own worst enemies. It's a little long, but I hope you all enjoy it. Let me know what you think! All reviews mean a lot to me.**

* * *

**Chapter 9 – In My Head**

"_I try to think about rainbows when it gets bad. You got to think about something to keep from going mad. I try to think about big fat roses when the ship starts going down. But my head is wicked jealous; don't want to talk about it right now." – No Doubt_

_Durham – 8 Months Ago_

_It was a lazy Sunday afternoon towards the end of March. Nathan was on a six game stretch away from home, so Lucas had invited Haley and Jamie to come stay with them for a few days during Spring Break. He didn't get back to Tree Hill as often as he would like to visit and he missed his family. Lucas was watching Jamie while Haley went shopping to enjoy some alone time. Peyton was out who knows where. She rarely told him what she was up to anymore. He had kind of gotten used to it._

_Lucas was sprawled on his living room couch, reviewing a draft of his latest novel. He had four chapters printed out and ready to mail off to New York, for Lindsay's review. Lucas ran a hand through his hair, marvelling at how quickly the words were flowing from his mind to the written page. He'd only started writing it two weeks ago, when Peyton was away visiting Brooke for the weekend; but the idea had been fermenting in the back of his mind for ages. _

_Nine long months have passed since he realized that he was still in love with Brooke Davis. He ached for her – her touch, her voice, her laughter. Yet, he still remained engaged to her best friend, for reasons he couldn't explain to himself, never mind anyone else. In those nine months, he had seen Brooke thirteen times. Their encounters were always the same; he would call her, they would meet for dinner and talk for two or three hours. And then, she would inevitably be called away by her baby – Clothes Over Bros. They talked about many things: work, high school, their friends, the weather, family and sports. But, they never spoke of Peyton, or of the engagement. Lucas knew enough not to speak of his feelings for Brooke. She had made it clear that she only wanted to be friends; sometimes, Rachel or Millicent would be join them for dinner, as well. It infuriated him, but he understood she was establishing clear boundaries and he had no choice but to stay within them, or lose her completely. He couldn't live with the thought of never seeing her or talking with her again. So, he took what he could get. After all, he'd made his decision – he had to live with it. He had to make it work, because that's what was expected of him. _

_Lucas sat up and sealed his draft in an envelope. It was ready to go. He stretched and enjoyed the quiet...until he heard a loud crash coming from somewhere above his head. Lucas got to his feet and ran into the foyer. "Jamie!" He shouted as he took the stairs, two at a time. "Where are you?"_

"_I'm in here, Uncle Luke," Jamie's voice called out from the bathroom._

"_Are you okay?" Luke asked, seeing his nephew sitting on the floor, rubbing his head. He had a towel tied around his shoulders and was clutching a Superman action figure in his fist._

_Jamie's face was red from embarrassment. "I'm fine," he responded in a small voice. Lucas knelt down beside him and checked him over for bumps and bruises. Satisfied that his nephew was okay, he looked around and noticed that there was a huge mess in the bathroom. The garbage had been knocked over, towels were strewn across the floor, and the contents of Haley's make-up case had spilled over into the sink. _

"_What on earth were you up to?" Lucas tried to hide an amused smile._

"_Playing superheroes. I guess it kind of got out of hand." Jamie looked up at Luke. "Sorry, Uncle Luke. I'll clean it up."_

_Lucas ruffled his nephew's hair. "No problem. Here, I'll give you a hand." Lucas started by gathering up the towels and tossing them in the laundry bin._

"_Hey, what's this?" Jamie was holding up a plastic tube. "It has a plus on it."_

_Lucas frowned. "Let me see," Lucas took the object away from Jamie and looked at it. A pregnancy test? Luke sighed._

"_Uncle Luke? What is it?" Jamie's face peered up at him, wide-eyed. He tried to reach for it, but Lucas held it up out of his reach. "Let me see!" he begged._

"_Trust me, bud, you don't want to play with this. It's not a toy." Lucas put the test on top of the medicine cabinet where it was out of his curious nephew's reach. "Let's get the rest of this mess cleaned up and we'll go have some ice cream."_

"_Okay!" Jamie shouted enthusiastically. "But, I still want to know what it is, Uncle Luke."_

_Lucas groaned. He did not want to be the one to have this kind of a talk with Jamie. "Well, why don't you ask your mom when she gets back? She'll be able to explain better than I can. It's kind of a girl-thing." He smirked, wryly. It probably belonged to Haley anyway. Let her explain the birds and the bees to her son._

_Once everything was put away, and they had both washed their hands, uncle and nephew went down to the kitchen and Luke made some ice cream sundaes. As he scooped out the ice cream and half-listened to Jamie's chattering, his thoughts turned back to the mysterious pregnancy test. He was pretty certain that it belonged to Haley. He and Peyton hadn't had sex in a while...well, come to think of it, he couldn't remember the last time. How pitiful was that? Peyton hadn't mentioned any missed periods to him; but then she mentioned very little to him these days. Lucas shrugged. He was happy enough to be an uncle again, for now._

* * *

Lucas ran a hand through his hair, impatiently. Where the hell was Brooke? She had been gone for a long time. When she was with him, he felt strong; like he would get through this horrid nightmare, like everything would be okay. It was strange how keenly her absence affected him, already. His mind would start wandering down pathways he'd rather avoid. He needed her to keep him sane; his love for her was the only thing in his life that made sense at the moment.

As much as the news that Peyton was going to die was weighing on him, Lucas could only focus on one thing: betrayal. The possibility that Peyton had cheated on him and let him believe that Sawyer was his daughter was incomprehensible to Luke. He couldn't believe she would do that to him. And that Jake Jagielski, one of his best friends in high school, had also deceived him – and may be Sawyer's real father. He blinked back scalding tears and shook his head. He was not going to lose his shit, yet. Luke sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. His arm throbbed, dully, but he could handle that. He tentatively lowered his feet to the floor and stood up, leaning against the bed, for support. So far, so good. He stood still for a few moments. Now, that he was standing, where did he want to go? Lucas realized he hadn't thought that far ahead. Lucas took a couple of steps forward, before the dizziness overcame him. Luckily, the chair Nathan had been sitting in earlier was still pulled up close to the bed. Lucas collapsed into it gratefully. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. _What now?_

* * *

"_Hey, guys, I'm back!" Haley called out as walked in the front door of Lucas and Peyton's place. She heaved a contented sigh and dropped her shopping bags on the ground. She had definitely made a dent in her credit card, today. She hadn't had a day to herself since basketball season began. It was nice to treat herself. _

"_Hello? Jamie? Luke?" Haley frowned slightly and walked towards the kitchen. As she passed the family room, she peeked inside and saw that Jamie was asleep on the couch, his head resting against his uncle's thigh. Lucas was sitting beside him, reading a book, his arm draped protectively around his nephew's small form._

_Haley quietly crept up to the sofa and gave Jamie a kiss on the forehead. Lucas looked up and smiled at her. He motioned to the kitchen and Haley nodded. Careful not to wake Jamie, Lucas slowly slid out from underneath him and gently lowered his head on a cushion before meeting Haley in the kitchen._

"_Wow, you must have worn him out," Haley commented as she took a bottle of water out of the fridge._

_Lucas shrugged. "We played, ate ice cream, and avoided conversations about human reproduction... the usual."_

"_What? How did that even come up?" Haley asked, genuinely confused. Even though she and Nathan were bracing themselves for it, Jamie had not yet shown an interest in where babies came from._

_Lucas smirked at her. "Well, let's just say we found something of yours in the upstairs bathroom. In the trash." Lucas raised his eyebrows at her, significantly._

_Haley put down her water and stared at her best friend. "I have no idea what you're talking about."_

_Lucas laughed and shook his head. "I suppose congratulations are in order. When are you going to tell Nate?"_

"_Tell Nate what – that you're obviously high?" Haley's confusion was growing by the second. "Will you just tell me what you're talking about?"_

"_C'mon, Hales. You can drop the act. You're a terrible liar." Lucas was still grinning. "Jamie found it when he knocked over the garbage. The pregnancy test...it's positive. You're pregnant."_

"_No, I'm not. That's not my test." Haley looked at Lucas, puzzled._

_Lucas's smile faltered. "It's not? Well, then whose is it?"_

_It was Haley's turn to smile. "Maybe I should be congratulating you," she joked. But when she saw the look on Lucas's face, she was sorry she had reacted so jokingly. He had sat down hard on a stool at the breakfast bar, shaking his head, in disbelief. Haley reached over and gave his arm a gentle squeeze. "Luke, I'm sorry. Maybe it isn't Peyton's. Have you had any other guests over recently?"_

"_No, just Skills and Fergie last weekend. Doubt it belongs to either one of them." Lucas buried his face in his hands. "What if it is Peyton's test? And what if she's pregnant?" he asked, looking at Haley, helplessly._

"_Luke, it's a baby. I'm sure you and Peyton will figure it out." Haley rubbed his shoulder. "Nathan and I managed."_

_Luke shook his head, again. "It's not that. I've always wanted a family of my own one day. It's just-"_

"_Just what, Luke? Talk to me." Haley pleaded. She knew that Lucas and Peyton's relationship was troubled, but neither of them talked to her about it. She wished he would open up to her, but ever since he and Nathan got into that argument over Brooke last summer, he refused to confide in either of them. _

_Lucas stood up, shaking her hand off his shoulder. "Forget it, Hales. It's nothing." He sighed, heavily, his expression darkening. "I'll just have to talk to Peyton when she gets back."_

_Haley was frustrated that he shut her out, yet again. "Where is she, anyway? I've barely seen her since we got here." Haley was disappointed. Peyton was one of her closest friends in high school. They had drifted apart over the past few years, but she figured they would be able to pick up where they'd left off, like she and Brooke had. It hadn't exactly worked out that way. Haley had a feeling Peyton had been avoiding her and Nathan since she moved back to North Carolina. Like she had something to hide._

_Lucas shrugged and took a bottle of water out of the fridge. "No idea. She never tells me anything." _

_Haley couldn't get over the detachment in his voice. If Nathan disappeared as often as Peyton did, she would be freaking out. She frowned, watching as Lucas grabbed a light jacket and his basketball. _

"_I'm heading out to the park to shoot some hoops. I'll be back later." Lucas left the room and Haley heard the front door slam a few seconds later. _

_Haley stood at the counter, in disbelief. Things were not well. She wondered when Lucas would stop lying to himself and break it off with Peyton. And how could they even consider bringing a baby into this farce...it was unbelievable. Haley wondered if Nathan was right – that Luke was really in love with Brooke, but too stubborn to admit it. Sometimes she wished Luke and Peyton would take their heads out of their asses and admit that it just wasn't working. They were going to destroy themselves if they kept on like this. Haley shook her head. And there was nothing she could do to help them. They'd have to figure it out for themselves._

* * *

"Luke, what the hell are you doing out of bed?"

Lucas's eyes snapped open at the sound of his brother's voice. "Just resting. I must have dozed off."

Nathan approached him and Lucas almost laughed at the stern look on his little brother's face. "You should be resting in bed. Come on, let me help you."

Lucas started to protest, but when he saw the expression in Nathan's eyes, he kept quiet. His brother had a frightened look deep in his eyes – he was trying to hide the fear, but Lucas knew him well enough to recognize it. "Okay, Nate," he said, quietly and allowed his brother to guide him back to the bed. Once he was settled, Nathan pulled the chair closer to Lucas's bedside and stared at him, intensely.

"Want to tell me what's going on?" he asked softly.

Lucas shook his head. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. The craziest things have happened over the last couple of days...it's like _Young & the Restless_ or something."

"Is that the one with the witch and the orangutan that's in love with the guy?" Nathan asked, curiously. "Haley used to watch it when Jamie was a baby," he explained hastily. "It was on in the background...I wasn't like a fan, anything."

Lucas chuckled. "So not the point, Nate."

"Well, try me. Our lives have been pretty unbelievable so far. I doubt it could get much crazier." Nathan leaned forward. "So, you and Brooke..."

In spite of himself, Lucas smiled. "She still loves me, Nate. After all this time...it's like a miracle."

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. I only pointed that out to you like a long time ago. And, Hales knew all along, too. And that Lindsay-chick. I think the real miracle is that you finally listened to us." He was silent for a second. "So, what about Peyton?"

Lucas looked down. "When I came back from New York today, I had decided that I was finally going to leave her. I guess she had the same idea because she wasn't wearing her ring and when I walked up to her at the airport, she was telling some other guy she loved him on her cell."

Nathan sat back in his seat and crossed his arms. He nodded for Lucas to continue.

"Of course, I had no idea who she was talking to – it could have been anyone – but when I brought it up, she didn't deny it." Lucas looked at Nathan, grimly. "She knew all along that I had feelings for Brooke. She knew why I was going to New York all the time – it was always to see Brooke, and she knew that, too. She dropped the bomb, first. She was leaving and taking Sawyer." Lucas rubbed his eyes, which were beginning to water.

Nathan shook his head, slowly. "I'm sorry, Luke." The brothers were quiet. Lucas knew Nathan was struggling to find the right words. "Well, she can't keep Sawyer from you. You're her father."

Lucas shook his head. "According to Peyton, I'm not."

"What?!" Nathan asked, in disbelief. He got to his feet and started pacing. "Are you fucking serious?"

"That's what she told me, right before the accident." Lucas whispered.

"She can be such a fucking bitch sometimes, but I never thought she would pull this shit." Nathan stopped pacing. "Who is the father, then?"

"She didn't tell me." Lucas rubbed his forehead, his headache was returning. "I have a pretty good guess, but no proof."

Nathan shook his head, angrily. "I hope you call her on this bullshit. If you want to fight for custody, I know a lawyer who's really good. You can't let her get away with this shit, Luke. I know how much you love that little girl."

Lucas closed his eyes and leaned back. "It won't matter, Nate." He mumbled. "He opened his eyes and looked at his brother, steadily. "She'll be dead by tomorrow."

* * *

_It was after two in the morning when she finally returned home. Lucas was sitting in the dark kitchen, waiting. He watched silently as she padded down the hallway, sighing exhaustedly. She shrugged off her jacket and draped it on the counter. She hadn't seen him, yet. Luke was curious to see how long it would take her to notice him sitting just a few feet away from her. Peyton went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water and leaned back against the counter, taking a long drink. She heaved another long, exasperated sigh._

"_Long night?" Lucas asked, coolly._

_She jumped at the sound of his voice, spilling water down the front of her shirt. "Holy shit, Luke!!!" Peyton screamed. "Why the hell are you hiding in the dark like that?"_

_Lucas shrugged. "I wanted to talk to you. You're never around, so I thought I'd wait up."_

"_You could have somehow announced your presence. It's a little creepy to be sitting by yourself in the dark, Luke." Peyton shrugged and rolled her eyes and sat down across from him. "So, what do you want to talk about?"_

"_Jamie found something in the upstairs bathroom earlier today; in the trash." Lucas glanced at Peyton, who remained expressionless. "At first, I thought it was Haley's but she swears up and down that it's not hers. So, seeing as you are the only other woman living in this house right now, it's logical to assume that this must be yours." Lucas slid the pregnancy test across the table towards her. _

_Peyton caught it under her hand and picked it up, looking at it, impassively. "So? An old pregnancy test; who knows who it belongs to?"_

_Lucas let out a frustrated sigh. "Peyton, come on! It has to belong to someone! It's not Haley's it's not mine and it's certainly not Jamie's. Just for once, would you finally talk to me and tell me what the fuck is going on in your head?"_

_Peyton stared at him, coldly, her icy gaze piercing his heart. In that second, Lucas swore she could see right through him, to his soul, the very core of him which he hid from everyone, including himself. He tensed up, bracing for the torrent of fury he knew she was barely holding back._

_Instead, she threw back her head and laughed. _

_Lucas stared at her, in disbelief. Her laughter was completely devoid of humour. It chilled him to the bone. Mercifully, she stopped abruptly, and glared at him. _

"_Maybe when you decide to tell me what the fuck is going on in your head, I'll be more forthcoming with you." Peyton got to her feet. "Until then, you can go fuck yourself." She turned her back on him and started to leave the room._

_Lucas felt as if she had slapped him across the face. He got to his feet and grabbed her by the arm. "Peyton, what the hell have I done to deserve this shit?"_

"_Take your hands off me," she hissed, trying to wrench her arm out of his grip. "You haven't __done __anything. I just…" she trailed off, uncertainly. Her anger seemed to have died down slightly and Lucas relaxed his grip on her arm. "That test. It's mine. I'm pregnant. About three, three and half months along. I'm not sure."_

_Lucas stared at her, frowning. His mind was racing back three months, furiously trying recall the last time they'd made love. He remained silent, as he processed her words._

"_I found out three weeks ago. I haven't really had any symptoms; no puking or tiredness or anything. I began to think the first test was wrong, so I took another one a few days ago." Peyton shrugged, and ducked her head, so her face was hidden behind a curtain of blonde curls._

_Lucas turned away and ran his fingers through his hair. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked in a soft voice._

"_I was scared. I didn't know what to think."_

"_Have you seen a doctor, yet?"_

"_No."_

"_Why not?"_

"_I-I wasn't sure. I didn't want to go unless I was sure."_

_Lucas closed his eyes. 'Is it even mine?' was what he wanted to ask, but he couldn't accuse her of that. She wouldn't betray him like that, would she? "When did it happen?"_

"_What do you mean, Luke?" her tone hardened._

_He sighed. "It's been awhile since we've had sex…I don't remember. I always thought I'd remember when my child was conceived." He turned back to face Peyton._

_Her green eyes were once again filled with resentment. "Well, there's a reason you probably don't remember. It was the night of that faculty party you dragged me to around Christmastime. Remember, you had a few too many nips of Scotch with the other profs? I had to drag your ass home and put you to bed."_

_Lucas remembered the party very well…at least the beginning. He'd had a hell of a hangover the next day._

"_And when we went to bed," Peyton continued, "you took me in your arms and kissed me in a way you haven't in ages. It took me right back to high school, when you told me that you wanted me to be the girl standing beside you when all your dreams came true. We made love that night, Luke and it was freaking amazing. I actually thought we might be able to go back to the way things used to be…how right I was." She paused and stared at him, coldly. "When we were…when it was over, you kissed me once again and whispered four little words in my ear, before you rolled over and fell asleep."_

"_What did I say?" Luke asked hoarsely._

"'_I love you…Brooke.'" Peyton turned and left the room._

_Lucas slumped down to the floor and buried his head in his hands._

* * *

Nathan wheeled his brother down the hall, away from the elevator bank. They were on their way to the ICU. Nathan still couldn't believe that Peyton would soon be dead. He had already called Haley and broken the bad news. She'd insisted on coming up right away, but he reminded her of their unborn baby girl and the unnecessary stress that the travel would put on both of them. It was going to be a stressful enough time over the coming weeks – Haley needed to rest. He'd left out the part about Luke possibly not being Sawyer's father – and about Lucas and Brooke's make-out session. Haley would freak out and probably go into premature labour and then storm up to Durham, Jamie and newborn in tow, demanding answers and trying to set everyone straight. Haley was always the peacemaker and he loved her for it, but she needed to put herself first once in a while. It wasn't often that Nathan put his foot down, but when it came to the health of his family – he was unbending. Haley had finally relented, mainly because she was too exhausted to argue any further with him.

The discussion had lasted a good twenty minutes, or so, and when he'd returned to Lucas's room, he found his brother in a wheelchair, all ready to go see Peyton and find Brooke; not necessarily in that order. Luke had told him that the news about Peyton made him feel numb. Nathan figured his brother was in shock after everything that had happened today... well, yesterday, now.

As for himself, well, he wasn't sure what he felt. Nathan had known Peyton since kindergarten. She had been his girlfriend in junior year of high school, and eventually, his friend. She'd stuck by his side when Haley had gone off on tour and seemingly abandoned him. He and Peyton were different in many ways, but essentially the same. They were misunderstood as teenagers, hid behind facades and were reluctant to let other people in. They also had fucked-up family lives. They'd understood each other, even if they didn't always get along. All he knew was that he would miss her. It hadn't really sunk in, yet.

"Nate, this is it."Luke's quiet voice jolted him from his muddled thoughts.

Nathan stopped. He looked around, in confusion. He had completely zoned out the last few minutes. They were standing in front of Peyton's room. "So...do you want me to come in with you?"

"Yeah. I think so." Luke responded.

Nathan pushed Lucas's chair inside the room. He caught a quick glimpse of Peyton's brother, Derek, and of Brooke, crying in the corner of the room and of some other guy leaning over Peyton. Then, all hell broke loose.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Lucas demanded. Nathan could see his brother shaking with barely suppressed rage.

The man beside Peyton's bed turned to face them. _Jake Jagielski?_ Nathan wondered what he was doing here.

"Luke..." Brooke whispered from the corner, tearfully.

"Funny. I should be asking you the same thing," Jake replied. "You have no fucking right to be here."

Nathan's jaw dropped, as he observed Lucas and Jake sizing each other up. Suddenly, it dawned on him. Jake was the guy! Before he could say anything, Brooke stepped in between the two men.

"Get. Out. Now." She hissed, furiously. "All of you. Peyton is dying like four feet away and you guys want to have a pissing contest over her and her daughter. Nice." Brooke's tone was icy. "Go out to the waiting room and we'll talk, there. Show Derek a little respect. Let him say his goodbyes without a freakin' floor show." Brooke's hazel eyes flashed with anger, even as they glistened with unshed tears.

Nathan nodded and backed out of the room, pulling Lucas with him. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Jake and Brooke following close behind. Brooke was rubbing Jake's shoulder, reassuringly. Good thing Lucas couldn't see that; he would have completely lost his shit. Nathan really wished Haley was here to deal with all this drama – she was really good at it. He preferred to stay out of it. As he wheeled Lucas to the nearby waiting room, he wondered what else could possibly happen on this crazy, cursed night.

* * *

**I've already started on Chapter 10, where some more secrets will soon be revealed. Hopefully, I will be a little quicker updating next time. Cheers!**


	10. Choking on the Truth

**Hi there. I wanted to say thank you to everyone for their lovely comments, recently. I am very touched. Thank you! It really does inspire me.**

**This chapters a little on the long side - there's some confrontations, a little fluffiness, and of course, drama. I hope you all enjoy and comments are always welcome!**

**The song that's inspired me may seem a little odd, but I think it fits. **

* * *

Chapter 10 – Choking on the Truth

"_Choking on the truth…I thought it was my candy, but I'm choking on the truth. Discretely, I try to cough it out, try to scream and shout. Ever changing flights of ideas, my life is surely flashing right before my eyes. You have a way, you startle me, I laugh, I face reality. This is a pill of strong will, and, as you indeed, so hard to swallow." – Bif Naked_

"I don't think this is a good idea," Jake muttered in a low voice, as they walked down the hallway towards a nearby waiting room.

Brooke looked up at him. The anger had drained from his features and he wore an expression of weary sorrow on his face. "Jake, we can't have you and Luke fighting like that. Not now. Peyton wouldn't want this."

Jake stopped and glanced at Luke and Nathan, who were about ten feet ahead of them. "Brooke, I need some time. I know Luke and I need to have some sort of a talk…but, I need some time," he repeated, looking down. Brooke caught a glimpse of the tears in his eyes. "I just found out that the person I've longed for since the day I let her go is going to die. Just when I thought all our dreams were going to come true – she's gone. I have to wrap my head around this, Brooke. I can't talk to Luke right now. I just can't deal with even being in the same room with the person who's caused her so much pain. Do you get where I'm coming from?" he asked, his voice filled with anguish.

Brooke nodded, trying to hold back tears. What if Lucas had been the one to die? Would she have been able to chit-chat with Peyton? She somehow doubted that she would have been as restrained as Jake was.

Jake wiped the tears from eyes and glanced down the hall at Lucas, again. "Do you regret letting him go?"

"Every single day." Brooke whispered.

Jake nodded. "I should never have sent her back to Tree Hill, back to Lucas. I thought I was doing the right thing…I never imagined I could be so wrong." Jake sighed and stared into Brooke's eyes. "You have a second chance. Go to Lucas. Let me have some time with Peyton and then I'll come down and see you both. We'll talk, then."

"Okay, Jake." She couldn't stand seeing the tortured expression on his face. She wished she could do something to erase the pain of the last six years for him, for all of them. She squeezed his arm and gave him a quivering smile.

He gently squeezed her hand, in return, and walked back towards Peyton's room. Brooke turned and saw that Nathan and Lucas had stopped, and were waiting for her in front of the elevators. She walked quickly down the hallway to catch up to them.

"What gives him the right to tell me I have no fucking right to be in Peyton's room?" Lucas asked Nathan, angrily. "If anything, he has no right to be there."

Nathan looked at Brooke, pleadingly. "Luke...I have no idea what the hell's going on anymore."

Brooke knelt down beside Lucas and put her hand on his arm. "Luke. Let it go. We're all tired, and our hearts are breaking..." Brooke swallowed her grief and continued. "He loves her just as much as I love you. If I was losing you, I'd be saying a lot of crazy things."

Luke looked into her eyes, his anger evaporating. He looked so tired and so sad; but his eyes still brightened at her touch. As emotionally overwrought as she was, Brooke still felt an electric tingle rush through her entire body at the look in his eyes. Brooke pushed the down button, summoning the elevator.

"So?" Nathan asked, as he and Lucas followed Brooke into the elevator. "What's going on?"

"Jake needs some time to cool off…and I think you need to rest, Luke. You look exhausted." Brooke touched the side of his face and Lucas placed his hand on top of hers. Lucas just nodded, tiredly.

Nathan crossed his arms and sighed, leaning against the elevator wall. "I'm going to get some coffee. Do you guys need anything?"

Brooke and Lucas shook their heads. Nathan sensed that they wanted to be alone, so he allowed them to exit the elevator and continued down to the cafeteria level alone.

Brooke wheeled Lucas down the hall to his room and helped him into bed. Lucas leaned back gratefully against the pillows. She pulled the covers up over him and stroked his hair. Luke's eyes slowly closed and Brooke turned away to go sit in the chair beside his bed, but Luke grabbed her hand.

"Don't leave me," he whispered. Lucas shifted over and patted the spot next to him. "I just want you close to me, Pretty Girl."

Brooke smiled and crawled onto the bed, and curled up beside him. He wrapped his arm around her and she rested her head on his chest. "Am I hurting you?" she asked.

"Nope." He stroked her back. They were silent for a few minutes.

Brooke relaxed into him and closed her eyes. It finally hit her how tired she was. She listened to Luke's heartbeat and it soothed her. If one good thing came out of this terrible day, it was this. She was never letting him go, again.

"Brooke?"

"Yes, Broody?" she murmured.

"I want you to know something."

"What's that?" she desperately tried to keep her eyes open, but it was a losing battle.

He squeezed her close to him. "I'm never, ever, letting you go again. You hear me, Pretty Girl? Never."

Brooke smiled. "I'm holding you to that, Broody…" she replied softly, already drifting off.

Lucas kissed the top of her head. "Third time's the charm," he whispered and closed his eyes.

* * *

A little while later, Nathan returned to his brother's room to find Luke and Brooke curled up together, asleep. He smiled at them, thinking of how he was glad that they had found a way back to each other...though his smile faded as he thought of Peyton upstairs, dying. He turned and left Brooke and Lucas in their slumber. As he walked down the hall to the waiting room and sipped his coffee, Nathan thought about how fragile life truly was. It was something he didn't think about too often – he preferred to live in the moment. The truth was the thought of anyone close to him dying terrified him. If he were to lose Haley and Jamie he wouldn't want to keep living; he'd probably end it, then and there.

Nathan turned a corner, lost in his morbid thoughts, when he crashed into Jake, nearly spilling coffee on him. "Sorry, man. I didn't see you."

Jake nodded and shrugged. "It's okay, Nate. No harm done." The two men stood awkwardly, staring at each other.

Nathan couldn't stand the awkward silence: it was suffocating. He wracked his brain, trying to think of something to say. "It's been awhile," he said, at last.

Jake smiled, slightly. "It certainly has, Mr. All-Star."

Nathan grinned. "So you heard about that."

Jake chuckled. "Who didn't? Congrats on being picked. Jenny's your biggest fan."

"Well, she's got great taste." Nathan joked.

"Ah-ha! There's the cocky bastard I remember!" Jake smirked.

Nathan laughed, in response. "Good to see you, Jagielski. It's been far too long."

"I wish it was under better circumstances." Jake's expression darkened and the laughter disappeared from his eyes. "I'm on my way to see Luke. I think I can kind of handle it, now."

Nathan sighed. "He and Brooke are asleep. I'd say we could wake them, but they both looked ready to drop."

"No, let them rest. I don't mind putting it off a little while longer." Jake and Nathan started walking towards a nearby waiting room. "So, Luke and Brooke...when did that start up again?"

Nathan glanced at Jake. He couldn't read his expression. "To be honest, I'm not sure. I had no idea until Brooke showed up, here."

Jake sat down and stretched his legs out. Nathan took a seat across from him, and observed his old friend. "Hmm," Jake responded. "Peyton was convinced that Luke was still in love with Brooke."

Nathan looked down at his empty coffee cup and crushed it. He wasn't sure why Jake was questioning him about this. Lucas has never admitted anything regarding his feelings for Brooke until this evening when he was under the influence of some heavy duty pain medication. "I think you'll have to talk to Luke about that. I can't speak for him." Nathan replied. "When did you and Peyton start up again?"

Jake nodded, resignedly. "It never ended, at least not for me. I sent her to Luke so she could be happy – that's all I wanted for her. Instead, he destroyed her. "

Nathan threw his crumpled coffee cup into a garbage can. "Being with Peyton was no picnic for Luke, either." He sat back and crossed his arms. "I'd say they were both equally to blame for the mess they ended up in."

Jake shook his head, but kept silent.

Nathan was dying to ask whether he knew that Peyton had lied to Luke about Sawyer. He wondered what Jake would think of St. Peyton, then. What if Jake was the father? Nathan considered whether he should ask – was it his place? "So, when did you say you and Peyton got back together?"

"I didn't." Jake met Nathan's gaze, his eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and resentment. "What does it matter now? Peyton will be gone, I'll be alone, and Luke and Brooke will walk off together in the sunset."

Nathan uncrossed his arms and leaned forward. "It matters more than you can guess."

Jake leaned back and rubbed his eyes. "Stop talking in riddles, Scott. Why the hell do you care?"

Nathan opened his mouth to fire off a quick retort, before deciding that for once, it might be a good idea to mind his temper. Getting into a fight with Jake was the last thing he wanted to do. "I don't, Luke does. He cares very much."

Jake shrugged and got to his feet. "Whatever, Nate. It's too little, too late from him."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" Nathan demanded.

"Just what I said." Jake sighed. "Nate, I don't want to argue about this with you. Luke's your brother and of course, you're going to be on his side –"

"I'm not taking sides," Nathan interrupted. "I'm just trying to make sense of everything that's happened."

"Aren't we all?" Jake asked, as he left the waiting area.

* * *

_New York City – 11 Months Ago_

_Brooke was standing in her kitchen, moodily staring at the coffeemaker, as she waited for the pot to finish brewing. It was a cold and gray morning. Brooke sighed and leaned against the counter. The holidays were coming up and Brooke couldn't wait. She was in a foul mood because Peyton, Haley, Millie and Rachel had all gone out partying last night while she was stuck at the office working until 1 am! Brooke scowled, slightly. It was supposed to be her weekend off. They'd just been on their way out the door when her assistant, Tatiana, called. A famous Hollywood actress was getting married and she'd requested a sample of possible designs for her wedding gown – by the end of the week! Of course, Brooke had to drop everything and run into the office to meet with her design team. She'd sketched out five designs and her team was now working around the clock to produce the samples for the actress to try on. Sometimes, she hated playing the game – she knew if the bride chose one of Brooke's designs, it would be fantastic for the company, but she just hated catering to some of these people. Maybe she should escape to a tropical island for a few months. Or, maybe she would have a cup of coffee and everything would seem better. _

_Brooke smiled to herself, as she thought of spending the day with Peyton and Haley. Maybe they could go shopping. Things between them were fun and light-hearted as long as they avoided talking about Lucas. She looked at the clock – it was 11 am; more than enough time for the girls to rest up after their night out. She poured herself a cup of coffee and was about to walk down the hallway towards the guest room, when her cell phone rang._

_Brooke picked it up. "Hey bitch. Isn't it a little early for you to be up?"_

"_Hey, slut," Rachel returned Brooke's greeting. "Who says I even went to bed?"_

"_I suppose there's no need to ask what you've been up to – or who you've been under." Brooke smirked, thinking of the hunky photographer Rachel had her eye on, recently._

"_You know me too well. At least I got laid last night, which is more than I can say for you." Rachel's tone softened, slightly. "How did it go?"_

"_As well as could be expected. I didn't get home until late, though. I know I said I'd catch up with you guys, but I was dead tired." Brooke stifled a yawn._

"_It sucks you couldn't come out with us. It would have been so much better if you were there. Haley's fun once you get a few drinks in her, but Peyton's such a drag – although she did provide some entertainment later on." Rachel's tone perked up, once more._

"_What happened?" Brooke asked curiously._

"_Well, we were at this club; it was like 2 a.m. or so. Millie and Haley already called it a night, which was probably a good thing; Mrs. Scott cannot hold her liquor. It was just me and Peyton. She was just sitting there, moping and I got bored, so I started flirting with this really cute guy. Brooke, he was so hot. And his ass –" _

"_Rach! Enough about the random guy's ass. You were telling me about Peyton..."_

"_Oh, right. But this guy's ass was like a work of art; it was firm and kind of round, but not too round-"_

"_Rachel – I don't care about the ass." Brooke rolled her eyes._

_Rachel sighed, dreamily. "You would if you saw it...anyway, we were having a drink and a conversation, when all of a sudden, Peyton starts yelling at this random guy."_

"_What guy?"_

"_I don't know; I've never seen him before. But, he was just as hot as my guy; I would have totally hit that. I'm not sure what started the whole thing, but she was yelling at him about leaving her when she needed him the most. Then he said something to her – I didn't hear – but whatever it was, it pissed her right off, because she hauled off and decked him!"_

"_Oh my god, Rach! What happened next?"_

"_Well, my guy and I went over to see what was going on. A bouncer was already coming over to kick them out. The guy took Peyton by the arm and told the bouncer they were just leaving. Peyton still seemed mad, but she was crying, too. I caught up to them, but Peyton basically told me to fuck off and mind my own business. So, I did."_

"_Rachel, you let her go off with a strange guy?"_

"_Brooke, she knew who he was. It's not like he held a gun to her head. From that punch I observed, she could handle herself just fine."_

"_Did she mention a name, like when she was yelling at him?" Brooke asked. She was trying to think of who it could be; not many people would rouse Peyton to violence._

"_Mmm…no, I don't think so. Unless his parents named him 'Asshole.'"_

"_Huh." Brooke frowned and sat down on her living room couch. _

"_Did she come home last night?"_

"_Yes...I think so. I was just about to wake her and Tutor Mom so we could go shopping."_

"_Hmmm. Fifty bucks say you go in and find her bed empty."_

_Brooke snorted. "Come on."_

"_What's the harm? You were going to wake her up, anyway. Go see...I'll wait."_

_Brooke hesitated. Did she really want to know? She'd been trying really hard not to get involved in the Peyton/Lucas saga, and so far, she was able to keep her sanity and some sort of a friendship with them both. "Fine, but if she's there, you're buying me lunch. And I'll pick somewhere expensive." Brooke set her coffee down on the table and was about to get up, when Haley stumbled into the living room. "Oh, Tutor Mom's emerged." Brooke giggled. "Rough night?" she teased her. Haley's hair partially covered her face and was pulled back in a messy ponytail. She was wearing an oversized T-shirt and shorts. Haley glowered at Brooke, as she flopped down on the couch beside her, groaning and burying her face in a cushion._

"_Ask her if Peyton came home'" Rachel urged her._

_Brooke put her arm around Haley. "Rachel wants to know if Peyton got home okay."_

_Haley looked up at Brooke, her brow furrowed. "Well, she wasn't in the bedroom. I assumed she was out here with you. Where is she?"_

"_Ah-ha! I knew it. Brooke, you owe me $50!" Rachel squealed._

"_Rach, I'll call you later." Brooke hung up, ignoring Rachel's gloating, and looked at Haley. She shook her head, sighing."No idea. I hope she's okay."_

_Haley sat up and took a sip of Brooke's coffee. "God, how I need this. Tequila and I are not friends. You'd think I would know that by now." Haley brushed the hair out of her eyes and looked at Brooke, searchingly. "So, why do you owe Rachel $50?"_

"_Long story...apparently, P. Sawyer got into a fight with a guy last night and left the bar with him." Brooke hugged a cushion to her chest. _

_Haley's eyes widened. "Like a random guy off the street?"_

"_No, Rach thinks she knew him."_

"_Huh." Haley sipped some more of Brooke's coffee. The two friends sat in silence, each thinking of Peyton's odd behaviour over the last year or so. "Has she talked to you, lately? Like, is anything going on with her?"_

"_When isn't anything happening with Peyton? And, she doesn't really talk to me...especially if it involves Lucas." Brooke looked down._

_Haley looked at Brooke, sympathetically. "She doesn't talk to me, either. There's such a distance between us...I know things are not good with her and Luke. If you saw them together, you wouldn't know they were engaged – or even together, for that matter." Haley sighed. "You don't think she's cheating on him?"_

_Brooke held up a hand. "Haley, please. Don't say anymore. I just don't want to know anything about them together. It still hurt too much." She didn't want to believe that Peyton would hurt Lucas so badly._

_Haley leaned back, still holding Brooke's coffee cup in her hands."I'm sorry... Has she called?"_

_Brooke shook her head. "I have no idea what to do." She was already imagining horrible things happening to Peyton. What if she was lost, or hurt...or worse?_

"_Let's give her a couple more hours. Maybe she'll call." Haley didn't sound convinced._

_Brooke nodded and went off to the kitchen to get some more coffee, since Haley had claimed her cup. "So much for a drama-free weekend…" she sighed to herself._

* * *

Lucas had been drifting in and out of a light, fitful sleep for the last couple of hours. He would drift off, content to have Brooke in his arms, at long last, but then thoughts of Sawyer and Peyton would slip in and the anguish would awaken him, as he remembered where he was and why. He opened his eyes and looked at Brooke, who was curled up beside him. She was still in a deep sleep, her upswept hair was starting to come undone and dark brown curls covered her eyes. Lucas longed to unpin her hair, but he didn't want to wake her. Instead, he just watched her sleep; the regular rise and fall of her chest, the occasional flicker of an eyelash, the slight pout of her lips – it was kind of soothing.

Lucas glanced up as he heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. Jake stood in the doorway of his room. Lucas tensed up. Jake didn't appear to be as angry as he had been earlier – but he didn't exactly look overjoyed at the sight of Lucas and Brooke cuddling. Lucas nodded a greeting. He supposed it was good a time as any to have their talk. Lucas carefully eased himself to a sitting position. Brooke rolled over slightly and wrapped her arms around his pillow. Lucas smiled down at her and swung his feet over the bed. He stood for a moment, waiting for the light-headedness to overcome him. He breathed a small sigh of relief when he remained steady. Jake stepped forward and handed him a hospital robe and some paper slippers. Luke chuckled slightly at the sight of them and Jake allowed a small smile.

"I thought we could go to the cafeteria. It'll be pretty quiet." Jake asked, after Lucas was properly attired to leave his room.

"Sure, I could use something to drink." Lucas answered his mouth dry as sandpaper. They slowly walked down the hallway towards the elevator. "What time is it anyway?"

Jake checked his watch. "It's just after four a.m." They stepped into the elevator and Lucas leaned against the wall. "Are you sure you're up to this, man? You look tired."

Lucas smiled a little at the concern in Jake's voice. "I _am _tired. But, I need answers, and I think you're the only one who can give them to me at this point."

Jake nodded and held the elevator doors open for Lucas. They'd reached the cafeteria. Lucas slowly shuffled off the elevator. "How about you find a table? I'll get us some coffee."

"I'll have some water, too." Lucas responded, as he turned away to find a place to sit. Jake was right; there was hardly anyone in the place. Lucas saw a table in the far corner that was partially hidden by some fake plants. Perfect. He sat down and closed his eyes. Just walking down here had sapped him of his energy.

"Asleep already?" Lucas looked up and to his surprise; Jake was already seated across from him.

"That was fast." Lucas mumbled.

"Hey, I had practice pouring coffee at your mom's café." Jake sipped his coffee and watched as Lucas opened his bottle of water and drained half of it. "Good thing I got the two litre bottle."

Lucas shrugged. "I don't know where to start," he said softly.

Jake bowed his head and sighed. "I'm not sure, either…can I ask you something?"

Lucas nodded.

"When did you and Brooke…get back together?" Jake asked awkwardly.

"Yesterday." Lucas responded.

Jake sat back, a look of surprise crossing his features. "Oh. I thought – well, Peyton was under the impression that you and Brooke has started up again a long time ago. "

Lucas laughed humourlessly. "That's funny, considering that you two have been running around for god knows how long."

"Luke, it's not like that. A few months ago, she came to me. She needed a friend. You were hardly there for her. She told me you were in love with Brooke and you kept running off to New York to see her. She was devastated." Jake's tone grew sharper with every word. "And, worst of all was how you called her 'Brooke' when you and her-"

"Enough, Jagielski." Lucas cut him off. "For one thing, Brooke and I weren't fucking around. Not that it's any of your business, but the last time was in high school. I'll admit that I still loved Brooke and that I never stopped loving her. I only found out yesterday that she still loves me." Luke shook his head, in disgust. "You only know half the story. Peyton wasn't any more in love with me than I was with her. She was never there for me, either – it was like living with a stranger."

Jake shook his head. "She loved you, Luke."

"Not as much as she used to…" Lucas frowned and looked at Jake appraisingly. "Do you know what she told me right before the accident?" Jake looked a little uncomfortable, but Lucas could tell he was curious. "First, she told me that she was walking away and she was never looking back. It was a bit of a surprise, but not totally since I was planning on leaving, too. She just beat me to the punch. What did shock me was when she informed me that Sawyer was not my daughter."

Jake's eyes widened in astonishment and he sat back in his chair. "Shit."

"Then, I get a phone call on her cell, from you. You kind of let it slip that you and Peyton were planning on running off together." Luke remarked, icily. "The next thing I know, here you are, paying your respects and kicking me out of her room." Luke squeezed the water bottle. "Of course, the first thought that pops into my head, is that you and Peyton must have been fucking around behind my back for a long time…like maybe eleven months ago?" He arched his eyebrow at Jake and waited for the other man's response. His stomach burned and he felt a little sick. What if Jake admitted that Sawyer was his? She would be taken away from him, something he had been dreading since he'd answered Jake's phone call. He almost couldn't stand it.

Jake slowly shook his head. "Luke," his voice cracked. "I can't imagine how you must feel. If Nicki had told me that Jenny-" Jake took a couple of long deep breaths. "You have to believe me, Luke. Peyton and I only realized that we wanted - that we needed- to be together a few months ago. She was already pregnant."

Luke exhaled and closed his eyes. Jake wasn't Sawyer's father. For some reason, he was very relieved. _But, then who is?_ Lucas pushed that thought aside, for now. "Did you- were you guys…like while she was pregnant?"

Jake looked appalled. "That would have been crossing a line."

"Like when you two decided to run off together?" Luke asked, acerbically.

"I'm sorry, Luke. I'm sorry for a lot of things. Sorry for hurting you, sorry that I let her go in the first place…But I still love her, man. Like you love Brooke. We don't choose who we fall in love with…we just love them and hope for the best." Jake rubbed his forehead and sighed.

Lucas nodded, playing with the edge of his coffee cup. "I would have let her go," he said, quietly. "All she had to do was tell me and I would have let her go…I just don't think she would have done the same for me. It kills me that she never talked to me, that she let things go on like this. I just want to ask her why. But, I guess I'll have to live with the fact that I'll never know what the hell she was thinking."

"I guess we're in the same boat, there." Jake replied, wearily.

The two men sat in silence for a few moments.

"I think I need to get back to bed." Lucas finally said, standing up. Jake nodded and got to his feet. They stood, for a moment, looking at each other awkwardly. It was almost as if they'd left too much unsaid; but there was no reason to say any more. They had both been hurt enough. Luke remembered what a good friend Jake had been, in high school. How did they end up here? "Jake, I just – It's okay, man. Life's too short." Lucas held out his good hand, expecting Jake to shake it. Instead, he was caught off-guard when Jake enveloped him in a hug. Luke put his good arm around his friend and patted his back. Together, they walked back to Lucas's room, knowing that neither of them would ever think of Peyton Sawyer in quite the same way.

* * *

"_Ugh, Brooke, can we please watch something else?" Haley demanded. "We've already watched like 6 episodes of Sex and the City. It's my turn to pick something."_

"_Fine, since you're my guest, I suppose I can allow it." Brooke replied, sighing heavily. The two friends had been watching old episodes of Sex and the City and eating pizza, cheesecake and popcorn all afternoon. It was nearly five o'clock and they had received no word from Peyton. Brooke was officially freaking out. _

_Every couple of hours, she or Haley would discuss calling the police, and then decide to wait a little longer. Now that it was dark…Brooke was beginning to lean heavily towards contacting the local precinct._

_Haley lazily flipped through Brooke's DVDs. "The O.C., Dawson's Creek, Party of Five, Felicity…Brooke, do you have anything other than sappy teen dramas? Oh my god, Beverly Hills 90210! We have to watch this. I remember my older sisters watching it when I was a kid…" Just then, Brooke's cell phone rang. "Oh my god, maybe it's her!" Haley dropped the DVD case._

_Brooke ran across the room and snatched up her phone. "P. Sawyer! Well the hell have you been?" Brooke answered, angrily._

_Haley flopped back against the couch cushions, in relief and rolled her eyes at Brooke._

"_Sorry about that, Brooke. I really should have called, but…something kind of came up." Peyton's voice sounded a little far away, like she wasn't really focussed on her conversation with Brooke._

_Brooke stamped her foot. "Peyton, you have no idea how freaked out we were! Rachel said you got into a fight with some random hot guy and got thrown out of a club! I thought you were kidnapped or something! "_

"_I'm sorry. I'm okay Brooke, I promise. The guy wasn't random…it's just someone I have unfinished business with." Peyton seemed to snap back to attention at the panic in Brooke's voice. _

_Brooke hesitated; she had so many questions, but she knew Peyton would not be forthcoming with the answers. "So will you be back soon? We're about to order dinner…"_

"_Um, that's what I'm calling you about. I've got to go. I'm actually on my way to airport."_

"_WHAT?!" Brooke didn't realize how loudly she'd shouted until Haley jumped up and ran over. "Where are you going? Back to Durham?"_

"_It's not important; I just wanted you to know I was okay."_

_Brooke and Haley, who had leaned in close enough to catch Peyton's response, exchanged a look. "What about your stuff?"_

"_I came by early this morning and picked up my things. I hadn't really unpacked from yesterday, you know. Look, I have to go, B. Davis. I'm at the airport. I left the key in the bowl beside the front door. Thanks for everything…I'll come visit you, soon. Promise."_

"_Peyton, wait!" Brooke pleaded with her. She heard a click and then the dial tone. Brooke stared at Haley, in shock. "She hung up." She hung up her own phone._

_Brooke's astonishment was reflected in Haley's features. "I'm really worried about her. This is completely weird." Haley said, in disbelief._

_Brooke nodded in agreement and sat down. She wanted to know who the hell Peyton had left the club with. Was she with him? Or was Peyton just running away, as she often did? "What about Luke?"_

_Haley sighed and sat down next to her. "I don't know. He's in London, for a promotional junket for his book. I don't know what to tell him."_

_Brooke shook her head. "I don't know either."_

"_Do you think she's leaving him?" Haley asked._

_Brooke shrugged. "Who knows?"_

"_Am I a bad person for hoping that she is leaving?" Haley asked in a low voice. "It would be for the best if they finally went their separate ways…they're both so miserable." Haley noticed Brooke biting her lip."Do you still love him?"_

_Brooke looked away and remained silent. Why was Haley bringing this up, now, of all times? It didn't matter – Luke didn't want her; he chose Peyton._

_Haley put her hand on Brooke's shoulder. "You don't have to say anything, Brooke. I know…I also know that if you said one word, he would be right here, with you."_

_Brooke turned back to face Haley, her vision blurred with tears. "I wish I could believe you, Tutor Mom…I can't take that chance again." She impatiently wiped her tears away and cleared her throat. "Can we please not talk about this?" she pleaded. _

_Hale, nodded and gave Brooke a hug. "Sorry, Tigger…I just thought you should know…." Haley could see that Brooke wanted to forget about Luke and Peyton. She smiled and jumped to her feet. "What do you say to getting out of here? I want to get all dressed up and go to one of those trendy restaurants you're always raving about. Let's call Rachel and Millie, too."_

_Brooke smiled and picked up her phone. "You got it, Tutor Mom. No tequila for you, though."_

_Haley groaned and stuck her tongue out at Brooke, as she trotted down the hallway to take a shower. Brooke's smile faded for a split second as Haley left the room. Why did Haley have to tell her that? Why was she giving her hope? Brooke had finally adjusted to living her life with Lucas Scott as her friend and nothing more. Those little words changed everything. Brooke had no idea what to do…about Lucas, about Peyton, about anything. So, tonight, she was going to get completely wasted, so she could blot the whole thing out of her mind._

* * *

Brooke was awakened by a gentle nudge. She opened her eyes to see Nathan standing above her. "Nate? Where's Lucas?" She struggled to sit up.

Nathan handed Brooke a coffee and sat down in the chair beside the bed. "I saw him and Jake talking in the caf a little while ago."

"Oh. Oh!" Brooke's eyes widened. "I hope they're not ripping each other apart."

Nathan shook his head and yawned. "It seemed pretty civil. At least we're in a hospital if they do decide to mix it up."

"Mix it up? Like a rumble?" Brooke teased Nathan.

"Shut up, Davis. I'm sleep-deprived." Nathan smirked back at her. "Love your new hairstyle. Is that the latest fashion for spring?"

Brooke's free hand flew up to her head. She groaned, feeling all of the bobby pins sticking up and out of her hair. "How bad is it?"

"Remember Don King? The guy who used to coach Mike Tyson?"

"Augh! The guy who looked like he stuck his finger in a light socket?!" Brooke set her coffee down and began removing bobby pins.

Nathan was laughing at her, and it must have been the lack of sleep, but Brooke found herself joining in. His remark wasn't really that funny…except in their overtired state, it seemed like the funniest thing she had heard in her life. Brooke kept pulling pins out of her hair, as her shoulders shook with laughter. A loud knock at the door startled them. Brooke swallowed her laughter as soon as she saw who it was. Nathan followed suit.

"Derek," she said, hoarsely.

Peyton's brother looked exhausted. He held up a hand, as Nathan started apologizing. "It's okay, guys…Where's Luke?"

Brooke and Nathan exchanged a glance. "I saw him down in the caf with Jake not too long ago." Nathan responded.

Derek nodded. "I'm going to find him…and you might want to get upstairs. The doctor…she says it's almost time."

Brooke jumped up and ran over to Derek, giving him a hug. "We can get Luke…you should be with her."

Derek squeezed her and shook his head. "I've been with her all night. It's time for you to say your good-byes." He could barely choke out the words. "Go on…she'd want you to say good-bye." Derek gave Brooke a final squeeze on the shoulder and walked away to find Lucas.

Nathan and Brooke stared at each other blankly, before they both spurred to action. They rushed down the hallway, as Nathan pulled out his cell phone to call Haley, knowing she would want to say good-bye, even if it was just over the phone. Brooke and Nathan caught an elevator, just as the doors were about to close. Brooke leaned back and closed her eyes. She couldn't believe this was happening. Peyton was really going to die. There would be no last minute reprieve, no brain transplant, and no specialist that could save her. Brooke didn't know if she believed in God, but at this moment, she prayed that Peyton would go peacefully and painlessly. She opened her eyes and saw Nathan looking at her, powerlessly. She took his hand and squeezed it tightly, as they arrived at the ICU.

* * *

"_I am honesty, and this is hard. You were everything I ever wanted. Your memory is sweet candy; the flavour's fading away..." – Bif Naked_

**I wanted to give a shout-out to Anon - you're right, Jake shouldn't have been telling Luke he had no right to be there...I think I was able to explain it away...I just like writing confrontations. I thought about writing a big fight for Jake and Luca, but I figured Jake was too chill for that. This was a hard one, for me...I hope it's ok.**


	11. Bittersweet Symphony

**Hi, everyone! Sorry I'm a little late with this one. I started last week, but I didn't like where I was going, so I scrapped it and started over. I decided to try something a little different – hope you like it.**

**I kind of forgot to mention that I don't own One Tree Hill in the last few chapters. Sorry, no hearts getting eaten by dogs in this story. ****

* * *

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**Chapter 11 – Bittersweet Symphony**

"_Because it's a bittersweet symphony, this life. Try to make ends meet; you're a slave to the money, then you die. I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down. You know the one that takes you to the places where all the things meet." – The Verve_

**Nathan**

It's only been about half-an-hour since Derek came into Luke's room and told us it was time. The first thing I did was call Hales. You see, I'm not good at handling death. I know it's a part of life and it's something that everyone has to deal with, but it scares the shit out of me. My wife is probably the only person in the world who knows just how much. Earlier, when we first got the call about the accident, my chest tightened to the point where I could barely breathe. I thought my brother was dead. Luke's already survived a car accident and a heart attack – there's no way he'd cheat death a third time. Even after they told me he was going to be okay; I still felt this weight settling on me. I wish I could describe it – it's the worst feeling. I used to feel it all the time when I was younger and was living at home with my parents. Every time I'd begin to relax and think that everything was okay, some shit would happen and it would all fall apart. So, I told myself I didn't care and I built a wall around myself. I refused to let anything affect me. No one was allowed to see who I really was. That is, until I met a girl named Haley James.

She's the first person who saw me – the real me. She's the only one who really gets me. Brooke would be a close second and Lucas tries but they don't know me like Haley does. Sometimes, my mind goes to into dark places. That could be a side-effect of being raised by a narcissistic control freak and a drug addict; but I think it goes deeper than that. There are times when I think the Scott family is cursed. We're not meant to be happy. There's always something threatening to destroy whatever you've achieved; relationships, family, career. It's always hanging over us – haunting us. Haley thinks I'm being fatalistic and stuff. She says that we're each responsible for our own actions and our own lives. I agree with her...but there are times when I wonder. I try not to head into those dark places too often...after all, Luke's the brooder; I'm supposed to be the down-to-earth one. But on a day like today, it's hard to stay in the light.

_No change, I can change, I can change, I can change, I can change. But I'm here in my mould; I am here in my mould. But, I'm a million different people from one day to the next. I can't change my mould._ _No, no, no, no, no._

The doctor told us we are only allowed to go in one at a time. I'm not sure why and I think it's stupid, but at this point we're all too tired to argue. So, here I am, standing at the foot of Peyton's hospital bed, looking down at a woman I barely recognize. We dated in high school, but I have very few good memories of that time. I prefer to remember her as my friend. I move over so I'm standing beside her and I take her hand. Peyton doesn't move a muscle, not even a tiny bit. I don't know what to say to her. It's not like she can hear me. Not now.

"I don't know what to say," I tell her. "They tell me I should be saying good-bye...I'd prefer 'see you later' except there is no later, is there?" God, I really have no clue what to say. "I really don't know what to say," I whisper, again.

"You don't have to say anything," I hear Haley murmur softly in my ear. I am so glad she is with me right now, even if it is over the phone. "I think it's enough that you're with her."

I nod, even though Haley can't see me. Maybe it is better if I say nothing at all. I hate to even think this, but I feel relieved. I can hear Haley playing a few notes on the piano. The melody is kind of familiar – something I haven't heard in years. I vaguely remember Peyton listening to this song in one of her more depressive moods. I think I got pissed off at her and made her turn it off, which led to a fight. Anything and everything would lead to a fight with Peyton.

"Could you put me on speaker, Nate?" Haley asks.

"Sure." I reply, changing the setting to speakerphone and setting it down on the bedside table. I lean back and listen to my wife as she says good-bye in her own way. I close my eyes and think about Peyton and life and death as the music fills my ears. I keep holding Peyton's hand and for the first time, I actually feel that she's here with me. And it's a small thing, but it's enough.

**Haley**

I am still in shock. Peyton Sawyer is dying. I keep repeating it to myself, but my brain refuses to process this fact. It just doesn't seem real. Yet, here I am at five o'clock in the morning playing _Bittersweet Symphony _on my piano in tribute to my friend and almost sister-in-law. When Nathan called me late last night and told me there was no hope for her, I didn't believe him. I just assumed Peyton would come out of it and be okay. I wish I could be there with Nathan and Luke. But on the other hand, I am glad I will always remember Peyton as she used to be when we were close. I want to remember the girl who was passionate about music, a gifted artist...not lying in hospital bed, unable to even breathe on her own.

Peyton really liked this song. I remember staying up late one night with her – we were hanging out in the bedroom of her childhood home, talking, listening to music. I was lying on her bed, looking up at the results of her latest renovation – she was constantly painting and re-painting her walls to suit whatever mood she was in. You could always tell what was going on in Peyton's life by the way she decorated her room. Her iPod was hooked up to the computer and this song came on. She told me that she'd listen to it whenever she would think about her mother – her adoptive mother – and how she died. The lyrics summed up the importance of music in her life. She felt the song gave her hope; hope that things would get better, change would chase the darkness away. The song is so ubiquitous, now. It was featured in _Cruel Intentions_ and it's used in so many commercials that it's practically lost all meaning; but not to Peyton. I caught her singing it to Sawyer a few weeks ago when she came to Tree Hill for a visit.

_Well, I never pray, but tonight I'm on my knees. I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me. I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now. But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now._

Before I know it, tears are streaming down my face and my voice tightens as I sing. I'm crying, crying for Peyton, crying for our lost friendship, crying for Luke, crying for Sawyer – who will never know her mother.

I finish the song and I sigh, wiping the tears from my eyes. I pick up the phone, taking it off speaker. "Nate?" I ask. I need to hear my husband's voice. In times like these, he leans on me, but right now, I need to draw strength from him.

"Hales, that was beautiful. She would have loved this." Nate whispers.

I nod, even though he can't see me. I can't speak; my throat is so tight – I just want him to take me in his arms and hold me while I have a good cry.

"Don't worry, babe. I'm coming home. I'm going to crash at Luke's for a few hours, but I'll be home tonight, promise. Brooke will stay with Luke. He'll be in good hands with her...I'm coming home to you and Jamie and the baby."

I close my eyes and sigh gratefully. "I love you so much." I whisper.

"I love you, too...I need go, Hales. Give Jamie a hug for me...and get back to bed. You need to rest."

I smile through my tears. "Okay. Call me later."

We hang up and I sit motionless at the piano, hand on my belly, feeling my baby girl's strong kicks. I look out the window, watching the sun rise over the ocean. I think about life; how fleeting it is and how we only have a short time to make the most of it. And I ask myself – have I lived my own life to its full potential?

_Because it's a bittersweet symphony, this life. Try to make ends meet; you're a slave to the money, then you die. I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down. You know the one that takes you to the places where all the things meet._

**Lucas**

Nathan comes out of Peyton's room and looks at me, sadly. His eyes are filled with tears, but he ducks away and turns his head, so no one can see. I walk up to him and give him a hug. He hugs me more tightly than I expect and I wince – I still have bruises covering the right side of my body. He quickly releases me and sighs.

"It's your turn," he says, quietly.

I nod, and Nathan walks down the hall, away from where Brooke, Jake and Derek are gathered. Brooke starts to follow him, but I shake my head at her. Grief is not an emotion my brother has an easy time dealing with. He won't let it show, but I know the last twelve hours have been hard on him. He needs to be alone for awhile, so he can process everything. It's funny that I'm known as the brooding brother – Nate can get pretty wrapped up in own thoughts, too, sometimes. And when he ventures into those dark places, it's much harder for him to climb back out. Thank god he has Haley.

Brooke is standing beside me and she squeezes my hand. "Ready?"

Thank god I have Brooke.

"No," I answer her honestly and return the squeeze. I pull her close to me and brush her hair back from her face. I can't help but smile a little – her elegant up-do is dishevelled; half of her hair is still pinned up, the other half is tumbling down around her shoulders. I still think she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. She could less about how she looks right now; she's focused on me so she doesn't have to think about Peyton. "I will be fine." I say, quietly. She nods, even though I can tell she doesn't believe me. This is going to be harder on her than on anyone else standing in this room. I give her a gentle kiss and walk into Peyton's room.

The door swings shut behind me. I stand still for a few moments, taking in the scene in front of me. During my brief visit earlier, I'd caught only a quick glance of Peyton. I don't remember seeing so many machines. Probably because I was too busy arguing with Jake. I force my feet to shuffle forward, until I'm standing at the edge of her bed. I look down at the broken woman in front of me and I suck in my breath. I'm not sure what I was expecting; but I didn't know it was...this. I start to feel lightheaded, so I sit down. Images flash across my mind; seeing her cheering at Ravens games, bent over a sketchbook, the time she nearly ran me down, our first kiss, when she was shot in the library, when we won the state championship. More recently: the look on her face when she accepted my marriage proposal; sitting on the stairs, crying as if her heart was breaking, not knowing I could see her; how she told me she was pregnant with Sawyer; the final argument just yesterday, where she calmly told me that Sawyer was not my daughter. I try to feel something, anything – sadness, anger, nostalgia, fear – instead, nothing. I don't feel anything at all. I feel numb.

What I really want to do is shake her awake and ask her why.

Why did she agree to marry me?

Why didn't she tell me she wanted out?

Why didn't she let me go?

Why did she lie to me about Sawyer?

Why did she think it was okay for me to raise another man's child while letting me think she was mine?

Except, I can't. Peyton Sawyer no longer exists. Her essence, her soul, whatever it was that made her _Peyton_ has drifted off into the ether...Is she watching all of this from another plain of existence? I briefly wonder if she regrets leaving so much turmoil behind her. I shake my head, realizing it doesn't matter. I know I'm supposed to be making heartfelt speeches and sobbing uncontrollably right now. I don't feel anything, so I'm saying nothing. A small voice in the back of my mind tells me I might come to regret this later, but I push that thought aside. For now, I just sit back in my chair and watch the regular rise and fall of Peyton's chest as the respirator forces air in and out of her lungs and listen to the regular beeping of the heart monitor and wait until they tell me my time is up.

_You know I can change, I can change, I can change, I can change, I can change. But I'm here in my mould, I am here in my mould. But, I'm a million different people from one day to the next. I can't change my mould; no,no,no,no,no. I can't change my mould. No, no, no, no, no. I can't change, can't change my body; no, no, no._

**Brooke**

I look up at the clock. It's almost six in the morning. Just twelve hours ago, I was in New York getting ready for a gala honouring Stella McCartney. Now, I'm in Durham getting ready to say good-bye to my best friend. It's amazing how much can change in such a short amount of time. Forty-eight hours ago, I thought Lucas was lost to me, forever. Now, he's sitting beside me, rubbing my back as I watch the door to Peyton's room waiting for Jake to finish his good-byes. We each get ten minutes with her. I don't understand why there's a limit. I feel like we shouldn't have a time limit imposed on saying good-bye.

I look over at Derek, who is sitting on my left. He's staring blankly straight ahead. He came over while Luke was with Peyton and told me that he needed to talk with me and Nathan. He didn't say what it was about, but I'm assuming it has something to do with Sawyer and our role as her godparents. I'm not sure if I can deal with this today.

Nathan returned just a few minutes ago and he and Luke are talking in quiet voices. Nathan wants to crash at Luke's before heading back to Tree Hill. He promised Haley he would come home after catching some sleep. Luke's fine with it, except he has no idea where his keys are. I feel like screaming. This shit doesn't matter. My oldest friend is dying and they're chatting about house keys and sleeping arrangements. I close my eyes and take a breath. It's just the stress. I can feel Luke's eyes on me. It's funny how I just know he's looking at me with that intense gaze, his brow furrowed with worry. We've been apart for so long, yet I still know what he's thinking with my eyes closed. I smile at him, to let him know I'm okay. I can tell by his worried frown that he doesn't believe me. He takes my hand in his. I look down at our entwined fingers and I feel a rush of emotion so strong and so deep, it scares me a little. Will we be able to make it through all of this? It took much less than this tear us apart before. How do I know we'll be able to get through this? I don't want to lose him again. I don't think I could stand it.

"Hey, Pretty Girl," Luke whispers in my ear, "Tell me what you're thinking..."

I shake my head. "Later."

Lucas stares at me; his piercing blue eyes meet mine. He can tell what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling. I should know by now I can't keep secrets from Lucas Scott. "We're getting through this," He says gently, but firmly. I know he means it.

I look up, noticing that Jake has emerged from Peyton's room. His eyes are red and bloodshot. He walks away from the rest of us, without a glance or a word. "I guess it's me," I say, getting to my feet. Luke gets up and gives me a hug. Even though he's battered and bruised, he's still strong; stronger than I am at the moment. I rest my head on his shoulder for a second, before I notice Derek looking at us. It's not anger I see in his eyes, not exactly. Still, I draw away from Lucas, feeling as if I've done something wrong; broken some sort of unspoken rule.

"I'll be right here," he says, as I push the door open to Peyton's room.

In the movies, when someone is on their deathbed, they always wake up when their true love or their best friend comes into the room. No matter how critical their condition is, they always revive long enough to reveal some shocking secret or to dispense pearls of wisdom, like "seize the day." Sometimes, they ask that their loved ones are cared for or they just want to say "I love you." None of that happened with Peyton.

I was there when the doctors told us that she was brain dead; all that remained was her physical shell. I understood when they told us that she couldn't see or hear us. That if we touched her, she would be unresponsive. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind, I still had one last speck of hope that she would come out of this. That it would be my voice, my presence that would encourage her to open her eyes. That's not what happened.

Instead, I sat with her, I held her hand and I talked to her. I told her I loved her. I told her I would miss her. I told her that Sawyer would be in good hands, that I would take care of her baby girl. I talked about some of my favourite memories of moments we shared. Finally, I stopped talking and just sat with her, holding her hand, watching her through my tears.

I watched as she took her last breath. She slipped away so quietly...It wasn't until the doctor and two nurses came into the room that I realized what was happening. When I glanced over at the heart monitor, I saw only a flat line...and the high-pitched tone was excruciating. How did I not hear it? I was still sitting there, holding her hand as one of the nurses turned off the respirator and the heart monitor. I watched them remove the breathing tube from her throat and the doctor checking for a pulse. The sun was rising, filling the room with a warm, pinkish glow when they called the time of death: 6:17 AM.

I finally released my grasp on her hand and turned away, to let them do their work.

Peyton was gone.

_I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down..._

_We've got your sex and violence, melody and silence_

_I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down_

_Been down_

_Ever been down_

_Ever been down_

_Ever been down_

_Ever been down_

_Have you ever been down?_

_Have you ever been down?_


	12. Numb

**So, this chapter explores Lucas' feelings regarding Sawyer, since I haven't really explored that yet. This is another one of those transitional chapters, where we get a little more background of the twisted Lucas/ Peyton relationship and this will set me up for the next chapter where Brooke and Nathan will meet with Derek and sort out what's going to happen to Sawyer. I'm hoping I'll be able to start moving the action along a little quicker now that the more difficult chapters have been written. Trust me, there is a method to my madness. (I think.)**

**Thanks for reading and all reviews are appreciated! Let me know what you think...**

**I do not own One Tree Hill.**

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**Chapter 12 – Numb**

_"You can't see if I'm not listening...You can't hear with my eyes open. I can't hate with my eyes open...I feel better when I'm numb."_

_– Holly McNarland_

_Durham – 11 Months Ago_

_Lucas stood on the sidewalk in front of his house. The cab just dropped him off a couple minutes ago. He'd rushed home from London a day early, after receiving the cryptic text message on his cell from Peyton. The message consisted of only two words: "It's over." After his barrage of frantic phone calls went unreturned, he decided to come back home and confront her in person. So, he skipped the last day in London and booked a flight back to Durham._

_Lindsay was less than impressed with him. It fell to her to cancel meetings, interviews and readings as well as smooth the ruffled feathers of the English publishers. He felt a small twinge of guilt – he didn't want to disappoint his readers, but he had to get to the bottom of that message. And if Peyton was avoiding his calls, he had no choice but to confront her in person. _

"_I don't know why you put up with her bullshit, Luke." Lindsay said, bluntly as she watched him pack his bags in his London hotel room. She had come to pick him up for a breakfast meeting with the head of his publishing house's London office and found him tossing his clothing haphazardly into his suitcase. "She's pulling this stunt to see if you'll come running to her; exerting her power over you, like she always does."_

_Lucas glared at his editor. "You made your feelings towards Peyton abundantly clear this summer."_

_Lindsay leaned against the wall and crossed her arms. "Yet, you're still engaged."_

_Lucas sighed and rolled his eyes. "Your opinion's been noted." he said, icily._

"_What kind of girl ends an engagement over text message?" Lindsay wrinkled her nose. "That's so tacky."_

"_She's not breaking up with me." Lucas replied, impatiently. That wasn't how Peyton operated. If she wanted to break up, she would have thought up some dramatic way to drop the bomb; she wouldn't have just sent a text...would she? He hesitated for a second. He would rather die than admit this to Lindsay, but a small part of him was relieved at the thought of being released. He caught a glimpse of Lindsay smirking at him, out of the corner of his eye. He shook his head at her and zipped up his suitcase. "There's something wrong."_

"_Obviously. You're not with Brooke." Lindsay watched him carefully for a reaction to her words._

_Lucas angrily turned towards her. It was scary how she always knew how to strike a nerve with him. "Brooke doesn't feel that way about me. She just wants to be friends." He should know. He'd visited her enough over the past few months. Each and every time, he would watch carefully for any clues that she was still as in love with him as everyone seemed to think. She was always light-hearted and at ease with him...but he couldn't read anything deeper than simple friendship. He sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair, thinking of her hazel eyes; once so expressive, they were now impossible for him to read. The veil which first descended during their conversation on the beach last June remained in place._

_Lindsay shrugged. "You should hear how she talks about you...there's something more in her voice than just friendship."_

_Lucas paused again, shooting a puzzled look at his editor. "How would you know?"_

"_We kept in touch after you introduced us, last year. We go for lunch or the odd drink, on occasion." Lindsay smiled. "Brooke's a wonderful person. I'm glad to have met her."_

_Lucas was reeling from this revelation. He felt as if his worlds were colliding – his past and his present. It was unsettling. "Why didn't you mention this before?"_

_Lindsay tilted her head and frowned at him pensively, before speaking. "I didn't think it mattered. She and I are friends. We don't usually talk about you...much." She smirked, observing the expression on Luke's face._

_Luke's curiosity was piqued. He wanted to know what they talked about; especially what Brooke might have said about him. Before he could grill her further, Lindsay tapped her watch._

"_Better hurry if you want to catch your plane. Peyton's going to melt down if you're not around to participate in her latest melodrama." Lindsay commented, dryly._

_Lucas frowned and grabbed his suitcase and his leather jacket. "I'll see you in New York – after the holidays?"_

_Lindsay nodded. "Have a good flight. And a good fight."_

"_Ha, ha, you're so witty." Lucas retorted, sarcastically, as he stepped out of the room._

"_Seriously, Luke, I hope everything works out for you." Lindsay's blue eyes were filled with concern._

_Lucas smiled. Even though his editor could be a little too blunt and even though she drove him crazy at times, he knew she honestly cared for him. He hugged her. "Thanks, Linds. I'll see you in the new year." He repeated._

_Lindsay nudged him away. "Go. I need to do some fancy explaining to the suits."_

_After spending nearly twelve hours on airplanes and in airports, he was finally home. That was enough time for the self-doubt to creep in. The franticness he felt in London had long since dissipated and he just felt cold and weary. He wasn't at all in a mind-set to face Peyton and whatever she had in store for him. But he still wanted to find out what was behind her message. Lucas kept staring up at the house he shared with Peyton, undecided as to whether he was ready to face what may be waiting for him behind that door.__

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_

Lucas awoke, feeling groggy. His arm was aching viciously and his mouth was dry. He opened his eyes and looked around, somewhat disoriented. He was in the bedroom he once shared with Peyton; Peyton who had betrayed him; Peyton who was now dead. He sighed and sat up. Brooke had thoughtfully left a bottle of water on the bedside table. He took a long drink of water to soothe his parched throat. It was nearly five in the evening. Brooke and Nathan were probably meeting with Derek, still. He was a little upset that he wasn't included. He fleetingly wondered if Peyton had confided anything to her brother. They were obviously discussing Sawyer. Even if she wasn't his biological offspring, he was the only father she has known. He was listed on her birth certificate. He still loved her. He pushed those thoughts aside. It was probably best he hadn't gone. The hurt was still too raw.

Lucas got to his feet and gently stretched, wincing at the tenderness in his side. Even though he was still pretty sore, he was feeling a lot better. Lucas looked around the bedroom. Something seemed different, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Lucas frowned, finally realizing what was different – the bedroom was clean. He and Peyton weren't total slobs, but they still had a habit of leaving their odds and ends lying around. He walked over to her dresser. He frowned, noticing that Peyton's jewellery box was missing. He tentatively opened the top drawer of the dresser. Empty. So was the second drawer. And, the third. He slammed the drawers shut and stalked over to the closet. Ignoring the searing pain in his side, he jerked open the sliding doors. All of Peyton's clothing was gone. He slammed his fist against the wall. A nagging thought tugged at the corner of his brain.

Lucas left the bedroom and walked down the hallway to Sawyer's room. He looked around, his heart dropping. The furniture remained, but the room had been stripped of all decoration. Her toys and her stuffed animals were gone. Luke opened the closet, which confirmed his suspicions. Her clothing was gone, too. Luke rubbed the side of his face and let out an angry sigh. Peyton must have been planning her escape for some time. His vision blurred as his eyes filled with tears. It was one thing to be told; but seeing the empty room just made it real. Lucas couldn't stand it any longer. While he felt numb at the loss of Peyton; his pain at the loss of his baby girl was blazing. Lucas stumbled from the room and down the stairs. He sat down on the bottom step and leaned against the wall. The sobs ripped from his chest and he closed his eyes. Losing Peyton; he could stand. Losing his Uncle Keith was heart-wrenching. Losing Brooke had nearly destroyed him, although he didn't realize it at the time. But, losing Sawyer...Lucas didn't know it was possible to feel this much pain. The anger and heartache tore through him; he felt like his heart was being shredded. He draped his left arm across his knees and buried his face in the crook of his arm and let his grief consume him.

* * *

_After standing on the sidewalk for a good ten minutes, Lucas finally gained the courage to enter his house. He slowly climbed the front steps and unlocked the door. He apprehensively pushed the door open and stepped inside. The house was dark and appeared to be deserted. Lucas walked into the front hall and dropped his suitcase. Two suitcases lay open at the bottom of the stairs; clothing carelessly strewn about them. Lucas wondered whether Peyton was in the process of packing or unpacking...it was hard to tell. Lucas turned his attention towards the living room. _

_"Holy shit." He muttered as he walked in. His first thought was that they'd been robbed...or that Peyton had thrown a wild party. Books, CDs and DVDs had been pulled from the shelves and were scattered around the room. Some of the disks had even been pulled from their cases and snapped in half. Most disturbingly, Peyton's collection of vinyl records was also strewn carelessly on the floor. Luke shook his head in astonishment. That collection was Peyton's prized possession. As long as he'd known her, she had kept all of her albums carefully catalogued. Something was horribly wrong. _

_Lucas was just about to head down the hall to check the rest of the house for damage when he heard a noise. Someone was coming down the stairs; he moved to the side of the room, where he was partially hidden from the hallway. Lucas tensed, waiting to see who it was. He was shocked to see Peyton, stomping down the stairs, clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand. She stopped on the third step from the bottom and stood for a moment, swaying slightly. _

_"Fuck it!" she said, resentfully, before taking a swig from the bottle she clutched tightly in her hand. "Goddamn, fucking asshole!!!" she screamed, as she slammed her fist against the wall. Lucas recoiled slightly. He had never seen her so enraged. Was this tirade directed at him? What the fuck was going on?_

_Suddenly, Peyton burst into tears and sank down to the floor, her cries echoing off the walls of the foyer. She drew her knees up to her chest and buried her face against her knees as she sobbed. Lucas stared, unsure what to do next. Should he comfort her? Then she would know he had been there all along, staring at her while she broke down. Try to sneak out quietly? He could leave through the front or the back, but both ways involved walking right by her. _

_He stood silently undecided for another minute, weighing his options. He heard Nathan's voice echoing in his head: "I think you're addicted to drama and rescuing damsels in distress and shit... It's like you get off on being the knight in shining armour."Lucas frowned, thinking of what Nathan has said to him last summer about his hero complex. He'd taken those words to heart. It bothered him that his brother and sister-in-law thought that he had chosen Peyton because she constantly needed to be rescued. But, it was true; he always stepped in to save her. That was his role and he was obliged to play it. It was fine when he thought he was in love with Peyton, but now that he realized that his heart belonged to someone else...the whole game was just exhausting. He'd had his chance with Brooke, and he'd blown it – twice. Like Brooke said, he'd made his choice. He would have to live with it. 'If that's what you call living,' he thought to himself. Lucas sighed quietly and slowly approached the devastated woman collapsed at the bottom of the stairs._

* * *

Lucas raised his head and wiped the tears from his eyes. How long had he been sitting and sobbing at the foot of the stairs? It couldn't have been that long...but time ceased to have all meaning to him. He leaned against the wall, feeling absolutely drained. His head was pounding, his arm was throbbing and his side was aching, but Lucas barely acknowledged the pain. It just wasn't fair – why was it that just as soon as he and Brooke had found their way back to each other, his daughter was ripped away from him? Lucas ran a hand through his hair, realizing that he was sitting in the exact same spot that he found Peyton that day. He should have seen it, then. He often wondered how things would have ended up if he had just walked out the door that day. Lucas shook his head and smirked, bitterly. He certainly would not be sitting here, that was for sure.

* * *

_"Peyton," Lucas said, in a low voice as he approached his fiancée. She remained curled up, her blonde head resting on her knees, her shoulder shaking with quiet sobs. Lucas paused, not sure what to say next. He sat down beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. She shuddered at his touched and jerked her head up, looking at him in bleary astonishment._

_"Lucas? What're you doing here? You're supposed to be in England or something." Her voice was hoarse and her words were slurred. She smelled like a distillery._

_"I came back early." Lucas debated whether he should bring up the text message now, or wait until she sobered up._

_"So did I." Peyton responded, taking a swig from the bottle. Lucas gently pried it out of her hand. Surprisingly, she didn't resist."I left New York, but I shoulda stayed. I didn't even talk to Brooke, I hung up on her."_

_Lucas frowned. He knew Peyton and Haley had gone to visit Brooke in New York, but that trip was over a week ago. He had spoken with Haley three days ago and she didn't mention Peyton leaving early. Or Peyton and Brooke fighting. "Did you guys have a fight?"_

_Peyton shook her head. "Nah. I just left and Brooke was worried...I just didn't feel like talking." Peyton sighed. "I feel bad. Brooke's always been there for me, always had my back. And for some reason, I always fuck it up. But she still puts up with my shit. I feel awful for suspecting her of – ah, fuck it. I'm up inside my head too much."_

_Lucas tried to follow her rambling. "Okay...did you come back here?"_

_"I'm so drunk, Luke."_

_"It's okay, Peyton. Just tell me what happened. What's up with the mess in the living room?"_

_Peyton heaved a sigh and leaned against the wall. "Just got so fuckin' mad. Things didn't go the way I thought they would...Have you ever felt that way, Luke? Like things weren't turning out the way you thought they would?"_

_"Of course; I think everyone feels that way at one time or another." It was the truth – his relationship with Peyton certainly wasn't turning out the way he thought it would. Lucas squinted, wondering what she was getting at. "So what happened when you left New York?"_

_"I went to L.A."_

_Lucas was surprised. Peyton had never expressed any desire to return to Los Angeles. In fact, she rarely spoke of her time there. Brooke had once alluded to a rough patch Peyton had endured, but she never gave him any details. "Oh? Why?"_

_Peyton seemed to sober up, slightly. She raised her head and met his gaze. Her eyes were dull and expressionless. "I had unfinished business." She replied, her tone void of any emotion. She got to her feet and leaned against the wall. _

_Lucas looked up at her. "What about that text you sent yesterday?"_

_"What text?" She wouldn't meet his eyes._

_"The one you sent yesterday, telling me it's over." Lucas waited, watching her carefully for her reaction._

_Peyton hesitated for a moment, her expression hidden behind a curtain of blonde curls."I must have been wasted when I texted that...I don't really remember."_

_Lucas was incredulous. "What do you mean you don't remember? I cut out of a bunch of events yesterday and flew across the ocean to get back here and find out what the hell's going on and you don't remember?"_

_Her green eyes briefly flashed with anger. "Luke, can we talk later? I need to go to bed. Room's spinning and thinking is hard, right now." She began stumbling up the stairs._

_Lucas shook his head. "Later never comes, Peyton. Not with you." He commented, bitterly._

_Peyton turned to face him. "You don't want to know the truth about me, Luke. You never did. You put me up on that stupid pedestal in your head and I never stood a chance. I can't compete with her." She said, sharply, nearly spitting her words out at him. _

_'She knows; she knows about Brooke.' Lucas thought wildly. "Her?" he asked, almost casually._

_Peyton snorted. "The fictional Peyton, the ideal Peyton, the perfect Peyton you created in your stupid book. I'm nothing like her, Luke. I tried so hard to be her, but I just can't do it. You used to know me, but the girl I used to be is long gone. I went through so much shit in L.A. So much shit and you have no idea." Peyton shook her head. "I'm so fucked up, you wouldn't understand." _

_"Try to make me understand. Just talk to me, Peyton." Lucas pleaded. He could see she was distraught and his old instinct to smooth everything over and make her hurt go away was kicking into high gear._

_Peyton stared at him for a moment. For a split second, Lucas thought she was ready to let everything out. Instead, her expression hardened and she turned away. "I don't want to deal with all this now."_

_"When?" Luke demanded._

_Peyton smirked, before turning away from him. "Later." She said, darkly and continued up the stairs._

_Luke made a move to stop her, but instead, he let her go. He knew she was lying to him, but he didn't really give a shit at the moment. He went to his office, which doubled as a guest room and slammed the door. To vent his frustrations, he spent the next few hours writing and trying to avoid dwelling on his poisonous relationship with Peyton. The jet lag finally caught up to him and he fell into a dreamless sleep. When he finally emerged the next day, the house was spotless. There was no sign that anything had ever been out of place. Things went back to normal; Peyton did her thing, he did his. And although there were times he caught her looking sad, or near tears over the next few months, they never spoke of that day again. Later never came._

* * *

Lucas got to his feet and walked into the kitchen. He found a photo of him cradling Sawyer still on the fridge. Strange that Peyton had left it behind. Lucas picked up the photo and looked at it closely. It was taken about a month ago, when they had gone to Tree Hill to visit Nathan and Haley. Sawyer had fallen asleep in his arms while he was reading and Haley thought it was adorable, so she pulled out a camera and snapped a picture. It was his favourite. He needed to piece together what happened during Peyton's lost week eleven months ago. She had gone to L.A. to take care of "unfinished business" and the faculty party where he'd gotten blasted happened a week after his return from London. The night Peyton said that Sawyer was conceived. Lucas leaned against the counter, still gazing at the photograph. Even if it turned out that Sawyer wasn't his biological daughter, he wasn't about to let her go without a fight. He wanted the truth, but was he prepared for what might come up if he stared digging up Peyton's secrets?

He'd waited long enough.

"Later comes now." Lucas murmured, to himself.

* * *

_"Just another hit for the one you love. If you cared at all, you'd put me down. Wake up dead man; can't you see I'm starving? Wake up dead man; can't you see I'm starving? You can't see if I'm not listening...You can't hear with my eyes open...I can't hate with my eyes open. I feel better...I feel better...I feel better when I'm numb."_


	13. Sunday Morning

**I know, two updates in one week! That's an amazing feat for me! Just don't get too used to it, ha. As requested, more Brucas, and some other crazy stuff. This chapter might have to be rated M - I'm not sure.**

**As always, thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**I do not own OTH.**

* * *

**Chapter 13 – Sunday Morning**

_"You came in with the breeze, on Sunday morning. You sure have changed since yesterday; without any warning. I thought I knew you…I thought I knew you…I thought I knew you well… so well." – No Doubt_

"Auntie Brooooke…" A small voice whispered in her ear. Small fingers pushed her hair out of her eyes. "Wake up…it's time to go to the beach."

Brooke opened her eyes and saw her godson kneeling beside her on the bed. "Jamie, let Auntie Brooke sleep a little longer…" she whispered back, careful not to wake Lucas who was sleeping beside her. "And your Uncle Luke needs his rest. Where are your Mom and Dad?"

Jamie shrugged and pouted. "Mom's sleeping and I'm not supposed to wake her because the baby won't let her sleep. Dad's downstairs making breakfast. He said it was okay to wake _you_ up, now. I've been waiting since 6. That's a whole hour." Jamie looked at her somberly, with puppy dog eyes – the same blue eyes he shared with his father and his uncle. "That's a very long time, Auntie Brooke."

Brooke sighed and smiled. Even though she was still bagged, she couldn't say no to her favourite guy. Well, second favourite. Yesterday had been exhausting. Between Peyton dying, Lucas being discharged from the hospital, that awful meeting with Derek and the drive to Tree Hill, Brooke was physically and emotionally spent. Spending some time with Jamie would help restore some of her energy. With Rachel and Millie scheduled to arrive later in the afternoon, she would eventually have to deal with the grim task of Peyton's memorial. Derek and his wife would be arriving in Tree Hill in the early evening, followed by Karen, Andy and Lily the next day. "Are you sure you want to go to the beach, buddy? It's a little cold outside."

"I don't want to swim." Jamie rolled his eyes at her. "I just want to walk and find treasures. I kind of like it when it's cold. Then, we have the beach all to ourselves."

"That sounds good to me. Let me get dressed and I'll be down soon." The thought of a deserted beach, with ice blue skies and grey water appealed to her.

Jamie hopped off the bed. "Okay, but no dawdling!" Jamie said, seriously, before he scampered out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

Brooke stretched and attempted to sit up. Instead, a strong arm was wrapped around her waist and held her tightly.

"What's all the whispering about?" Lucas whispered in her ear.

A wide grin spread across Brooke's face."I thought you were asleep."

Lucas squeezed her tightly and Brooke happily snuggled into him. He kissed her on the neck and she felt an electric tingle travel down her spine. "Nope, I woke up when Jamie came in. He tried, but the kid isn't the quietest."

Brooke turned over to face him. His sandy blond hair was tousled, but he actually looked rested. A shy smile tugged at the corners of his mouth under her gaze. "You look good…boyfriend." Brooke clapped her hand over her mouth, blushing furiously. She hadn't meant to call him that – the nickname she had given him when they were dating. It just felt so right, being in his arms again, their troubles far from their minds at the moment.

Luke's smile grew wider and he pulled her close, his chest and stomach pressed up against hers. There was no space between them. Brooke could his heartbeat pounding against hers. "Boyfriend? Is that what I am, now?" he asked in a teasing tone.

Brooke gazed at him and bit her lip. They'd been through so much over the past few days; they really hadn't defined their relationship, yet. "It just came out…old habit, I guess."

Lucas leaned forward and kissed her passionately on the lips. "I love that you called me 'Boyfriend.' I've missed that so much, you have no idea."

Brooke wrapped her arms around Luke's neck and kissed him hard on the lips in response. Lucas rolled onto his back and pulled her on top of him, still holding her close, as their kisses deepened and grew more intense. Brooke gently bit his bottom lip and smiled as she heard him groan. She pressed her body into his, and slid her hand down his pajama bottoms. God, he was hard, already. Brooke smirked, satisfied that she still knew how to drive him crazy. Her kisses grew more urgent, as seven years of loving him, missing him, and wanting him went into each and every kiss.

Lucas broke away from her and stared into her eyes. Brooke was momentarily worried that she'd hurt him…or that she was moving too fast. She locked her gaze on his dark blue eyes, breathlessly waiting. Lucas smirked and whispered, "Don't start something you can't finish, Pretty Girl."

Brooke smiled and tilted her head. "Shall I continue?" she asked.

Lucas returned her smile and sat up, pulling her into his lap, so she was straddling him. He pushed her hair aside, and kissed her on the neck. Brooke shivered involuntarily, as his stubble grazed her sensitive skin. She could feel his smirk against her neck, as he reached up under her tank top and cupped her breast in his hand, gently rubbing her nipple. Brooke moaned, realizing that she wasn't the only one who remembered old tricks. She began kissing and nibbling Luke's neck, and gently raking her nails up and down his bare back, careful to avoid the bruises on his right side. She could feel him quivering from her touch. It was so much better than she remembered; she felt so much more…

A quiet knock at the door broke into her consciousness and before she could react, the door opened and Jamie popped his head in. "Auntie Brooke, it's been a long time. Are you ready yet?"

Brooke froze, as her godson spoke. She and Lucas both turned their heads towards him. Brooke pasted a bright smile on her face. Thank god they weren't naked. "Um…your uncle and I will be down in five minutes, promise. Uncle Luke's coming with us to the beach because he's feeling so much better today."

Jamie frowned, his brow furrowed in suspicion. "What're you two doing? You don't look like you're getting ready."

"I was." Lucas whispered in Brooke's ear.

She shot a glare at Lucas and turned her attention back to Jamie. "I'm, uh, just showing your uncle how much I love him."

"I understand." Jamie nodded, sagely. "Mom and Dad explained this to me – you're busy making a baby. I'll wait downstairs." He turned and left the room.

"Oh my god!" Brooke groaned, climbing off of Luke's lap and out of the bed.

Lucas burst out laughing. "That kid's too smart for his own good."

In spite of herself, Brooke couldn't help giggling. "Luke, you know what's going to happen. He's going to tell Haley and Nathan that he saw us making babies and then, we're going to get in trouble for having sex in front of your nephew – our godson!" Brooke reached into her suitcase and pulled out a t-shirt displaying the Clothes Over Bros logo and a pair of jeans.

"Well, a couple more minutes and he _would_ have seen us having sex." Lucas replied, in amused tone. He got out of bed and grabbed a long-sleeved shirt from his own bag. He paused and examined his bruises in the mirror, frowning slightly. Then, he put his arm around her waist and drew her close to him. "I can't wait to get you all to myself."

Brooke turned and looked at him. "I feel kind of guilty…like we're being disrespectful. I feel so happy with you, Luke. Even though everything's…" She exhaled slowly, unsure how to explain her feelings.

Luke looked down at her. "Brooke. Remember in the hospital when I told you that I wasn't letting you go? I meant that – I'm not. I don't care if other people don't understand or if they think we don't have a right to be happy. I think we've both realized that life's too precious to waste even a single minute. I'm not waiting any longer to be with you." Luke kissed her again.

Brooke nodded. She agreed with Lucas, but she still worried about how it would look. "I guess I'm just worried about being insensitive to Peyton's memory."

Luke shook his head. "If Peyton had been deeply in love with me, or if we were sneaking around behind her back, then that would be different. She didn't love me, Brooke. I don't think we're being insensitive." He frowned, and his expression darkened. "Are you upset about what Derek said yesterday?"

"Maybe a little." Brooke whispered, huskily. She traced her finger up and down the cast on his right arm. Jamie had drawn some colorful pictures on it the night before with some felt pens. There was a rainbow, a dog, a basketball, and a number of stick figures representing various family members. Jamie had drawn a stick figure with curly blonde locks and wings playing what was supposed to be a harp, but looked more like a ukulele. It was Peyton, who was now an angel, according to Jamie.

"Don't be. He didn't know the whole story." Lucas kissed her on the forehead. He smiled down at her, but the expression in his eyes remained serious. "Come on, let's get dressed. Jamie's waiting for us." He playfully swatted her on the butt and made his way into the ensuite bathroom.

Brooke laughed and tried to put aside her worries. She was determined to spend a few carefree hours with her two favourite guys.

* * *

"_Hey, Davis, wake up. We're here."_

_Brooke yawned and opened her eyes. Somehow, she'd ended up leaning against the passenger side window of Nathan's SUV. She blinked and rubbed her eyes. "I feel asleep?" she mumbled._

_Nathan smiled at her. "You were out as soon as we pulled out of the driveway. Didn't you get any sleep?" Nathan had crashed in the guest room as soon as they arrived at Luke's. _

_Brooke shrugged and returned his smile, half-heartedly. "Not really." _

_While Lucas had fallen asleep almost immediately, Brooke found it impossible to sleep. Even though he'd asked her to stay with him, she felt uncomfortable sleeping in the bed Lucas and Peyton once shared. Instead, she lay on the living room couch, staring blankly at the ceiling as a series of thoughts, memories, regrets and worries raced through her mind. Finally, she found a bottle of vodka and downed a couple of shots to take the edge off. Brooke was exhausted; mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. She felt like she had nothing left...and it was only the beginning. Brooke sighed, sadly. _

_Nathan echoed her sigh. "That's about how I feel, too. How was Luke doing?"_

_Brooke thought for a moment, before answering. "I think he's okay. He was out as soon as his head hit the pillow."Emotionally, she wasn't sure...He was being strong for her sake, but Brooke knew that he was broken-hearted about Sawyer. "He's not happy about being left out of this meeting with Derek."_

_Nathan shook his head. "I'm sure Derek knows that Luke needs to rest. He's a good guy. He's got nothing against Luke."_

"_I'm not so sure about that," Brooke murmured, remembering the way Derek had looked at her and Lucas when they were waiting to say their good-byes to Peyton. _

"_You're tired, Davis. The paranoia's setting in." Nathan smiled at her. _

"_I don't know, Nate." Brooke turned in her seat to face him. "Peyton was obviously planning to leave for awhile. After Luke fell asleep, I wandered around. Nathan, everything that was Peyton is gone. Her albums, her clothes, her art – gone. Sawyer's things are gone, too. She obviously took care of everything during the last few days when Luke was in New York. Why wouldn't she tell her brother?"_

_Nathan leaned his head back. "It's amazing how the drama continues...Peyton's gone, but the drama goes on and on." Nathan reached over and took her hand. "Let's just meet with Derek and find out what he wants to talk to us about. Then, we'll go from there."_

_Brooke smiled. "You're so chill about all this."_

"_Trust me, I'm not. But there's no reason to get worked up...unless there _**is**_ a reason to get worked up, you know?"_

"_Yeah, I know." Brooke squeezed Nathan's hand, briefly before opening the door and stepping out of the car._

_Derek had asked them to meet him in the restaurant located at his hotel. Brooke and Nathan walked inside and looked around. It was a typical coffee shop, which looked like it hadn't changed much since the 70s. A sad country song was playing the background. The walls were covered with dark wood paneling and the lighting was dim. It was a depressing place. Brooke caught sight of Derek sitting in a booth on the far side of the restaurant. He was staring blankly out the window, an untouched cup of coffee in front of him. She tugged on Nathan's sleeve and wordlessly pointed in Derek's direction._

_Together, they walked up to the table where Peyton's half-brother sat. Derek looked up as they approached and he smiled at them, although his brown eyes were filled with sadness. "Hey, guys."_

_Nathan shook his hand and took a seat across from him. "How're you holding up?"_

_Derek shrugged. "As well as can be expected." He reached across the table and took Brooke's hand in his. "How are you, Brooke?"_

_Brooke's eyes teared up at the genuine concern in his voice. "I'm okay." She answered, in a quiet voice._

_Derek shook his head. "This isn't easy…not for any of us."_

_They were interrupted by the waitress, who came to take their orders. Brooke ordered coffee; she couldn't stomach food, yet. Nathan, on the other hand, ordered a double cheeseburger and fries. After the waitress left, the three of them sat in awkward silence._

_Derek cleared his throat. "I guess you're both wondering why I asked to meet with you. It's been – the last couple of days have been hard. I'm going to start at the beginning, so bear with me." Derek heaved a sigh. "Three days ago, Peyton called me. She asked if my wife and I would be able to take care of Sawyer for the weekend. She said she needed to go out of town and she wasn't sure if Luke would be back in time. I thought it was kind of weird, but Michelle – my wife – adores Sawyer, so I told her we didn't mind." _

_Derek paused, as the waitress returned with their drinks. As soon as she left, he began again. "The next day, she came over and dropped off Sawyer. Peyton didn't look like herself. She looked tired, stressed…she'd lost quite a bit of weight since having Sawyer. I was worried, so I asked her to stay for awhile, to talk me." Derek took a sip of his coffee. "So, she did. She told me a lot of things…we talked about L.A., Sawyer, Luke and even, you, Brooke."_

_Brooke looked at Derek, in surprise. She glanced over at Nathan, who shrugged._

_Derek smiled at her. "She loved you like a sister, Brooke, she really did." His smile faded as he continued. "And of course, we talked about Jake. I'd suspected for a long time that she and Luke were very unhappy. I liked Luke…but, he wasn't the guy for my sister. She needed someone who wouldn't play her games and actually call her on her bullshit."_

_Nathan chuckled. "Ain't that the truth."_

_Derek nodded in agreement. "It's true. Luke never did call her on her self-created drama. I think she didn't really respect him for that. Anyway, she told me two things that day. First, she was leaving Luke. She'd realized that she didn't love him; she had never really fallen out of love with Jake. She and Sawyer were going to move in with him and his daughter. That floored me – I never suspected there was something going on with Jake, but apparently, they'd been 'together' for six months!"_

"_Six months?" Brooke asked. She and Nathan exchanged a look. "Why didn't she leave Luke before that if she was so sure she was in love with Jake?"_

"_Sawyer." Nathan interjected._

"_Yes, she was pregnant with Sawyer." Derek paused again, as the waitress arrived with Nathan's food. _

_Brooke closed her eyes and leaned back. "Did she tell you that Sawyer isn't Luke's?" She opened her eyes and looked at Derek._

_He nodded, sadly. "That was the most shocking thing she told me."_

_Brooke leaned forward. "Did she tell you who the father was?"_

"_No. All she would tell me was that the father was completely out of the picture. She was actually looking into the possibility of having Jake adopt Sawyer."_

_Nathan slammed his glass of water down on the table, splashing water onto the surface. "No fucking way." He said, in a quiet tone._

_Brooke crossed her arms, tightly. "I can't believe she was going to do that without telling Luke. He loves that baby so much – Derek, he's devastated, already. Can you imagine what this would do to him if he knew Peyton was planning on ripping her away from him like that?" Brooke's voice trembled with anger and sadness._

"_I know, Brooke. I totally agree with you. I told her the same thing. She said that Luke's feelings were not of her concern…she was convinced that he was in love with someone else." Derek looked directly into Brooke's eyes._

_His stare unsettled her. "Did Peyton say who she thought Luke was in love with?"_

_Derek kept his gaze fixed on her. "No, she didn't. But, I saw enough at the hospital to give me a pretty good idea." They were all silent. "Peyton's told me enough over the years about your shared history and how Luke fit in to it. Hell, I read his book. I know all about it." Derek leaned forward. "What you don't know is how guilty she felt – trust me, Brooke, she carried a lot of regret with her. She didn't always take into account how her actions could impact other people." Derek leaned back. "Brooke, I told you that Peyton trusted you with Sawyer's life. Obviously, she trusted both you and Nathan to make you Sawyer's godparents. This is where things get difficult…"he trailed off, looking out the window._

_Nathan cleared his throat. "What do you mean?"_

_Derek looked at them, hesitating before he spoke."I'm stuck in a hard place. Luke's a good guy – he and Peyton just weren't good together. Now, I know a few things: first, Luke isn't Sawyer's father; second, Peyton left her in my care at the time of her death; third, you two were named as Sawyer's legal guardians if something happened to Peyton." Derek hesitated, stirring his coffee. "I have to take my sister's wishes into account." He said quietly. "She made it very clear that she did not want Luke to have anything to do with Sawyer. She was going to demand that he submit to DNA testing and then she would have his parental rights severed in order to clear the way for Jake to adopt Sawyer. Obviously, Jake will not be adopting Sawyer, not now. We don't know who Sawyer's biological father is…we probably won't ever know. I'm not in a position to adopt her, myself. I'm set to be deployed for another tour in Iraq and Michelle will have her hands full with work and taking care of our own kids, alone." Derek cleared his throat, blinking back tears. He gripped his coffee cup, as he tried to get a hold of his emotions._

_Brooke exchanged a glance with Nathan. He looked at her, questioningly. He was wondering if she knew about any of this. Brooke shook her head. She couldn't believe Peyton. She'd been determined to rip Lucas apart – and for what? Brooke lowered her gaze and toyed with her paper napkin. She looked up at Derek as he started speaking again._

"_One of you will need to take on the responsibility of raising my niece. I have no doubt that either one of you would do a great job raising her. But, I do have one concern." Derek leaned forward, focusing his attention on Brooke. "I now know that you are the one Luke is in love with. I can tell you feel the same way about him. But, I also know that Peyton did not wish for Lucas to have any part of raising her daughter."_

_Brooke was startled. He couldn't be asking this, could he? "Are you asking me to choose between Lucas and Sawyer?" Nathan jerked his head up and glared at Derek. He opened his mouth, but Brooke put a hand on his arm. 'Don't,' she silently pleaded._

_Derek just lowered his head and remained silent for a moment. "I was hoping you would agree to take guardianship of Sawyer, Brooke."_

_Brooke just shook her head, in disbelief._

"_Are you serious, Derek? This has to be a fucking joke." Nathan leaned forward, his blue eyes flashing in anger. For a split second, Brooke saw the image of Dan Scott in the features of his youngest son. Brooke put her hands on Nathan's arm, once again, to remind him to reign in that famous Scott temper. She could feel the fury radiating from him. "You are not telling me that you think it's a good idea to keep that baby girl from the only parent she has left, now. Have you been able to prove that Luke's an unfit parent?"_

_Derek looked away. "No, I know Luke's a good father to Sawyer. But I'm worried that he won't want to take on that role since she's not biologically his. I want to make sure she's loved and cared for and most importantly, wanted." When he looked back at them, Brooke could see the anguish on his face._

"_Derek, don't you think that I would be able to love and care for Sawyer? She's my goddaughter; Peyton's daughter. I promised Peyton that I would be there for her, no matter what. And I know that Lucas would do anything for that baby – he's loved her from the moment she was born." Brooke paused, taking a deep breath. She was nearly breathless; her words were tumbling out so fast. "I am not letting Lucas go, not for anything. I do love him and I am not letting him go. I don't care what you say. And, neither of us are letting go of Sawyer." She was livid that Derek would actually ask her to give up Lucas. And to imply that Lucas would toss Sawyer aside…It made her sick with anger and sorrow._

_This time, it was Nathan who put his hands on her shoulders, to soothe her. "I think it would be best if I take Luke and Brooke home with me tonight. As soon as we get out of here, I'm getting on the phone to my lawyer. Unless you want a lawsuit – believe me, between Brooke, Lucas and I, we can afford it – you will bring Sawyer to Tree Hill by seven o'clock tomorrow night. Luke's legally recognized as her father. His name is on her birth certificate. Unless biological father suddenly appears to dispute that, you have no right to ask anyone to take or relinquish custody of anyone. As Sawyer's godfather, I believe that placing her with her father and her godmother is what is in her best interest." _

_Derek's expression had changed from sadness to disbelief to anger over the past few minutes.. "Fine. I know I have no legal rights in this situation. I'll back off." He focused his anger on Brooke. "But, I never thought that you would be so disrespectful to Peyton's memory by carrying on with her fiancé while she lay in that hospital room, fighting for her life. She always talked about what a good friend you were and how loyal you are. I guess she was wrong."_

_Brooke gasped, and shrunk back involuntarily. He might as well have slapped her across the face – it would have stung less._

"_That's it, we're done. We've heard enough from you tonight." Nathan threw a twenty dollar bill on the table and got to his feet."I don't think you have any right to lecture Brooke or anyone else on sensitivity and loyalty; especially after what Peyton did to Luke." Nathan shook his head in disgust. "We'll see you tomorrow, Derek. Seven p.m. I mean it. Come on, Brooke."_

_Feeling completely numb, Brooke got to her feet. She barely noticed Nathan putting his arm around her and guiding her away from the table. She looked back once, and saw Derek leaning forward, cradling his head in his hands. _

"_Don't listen to him, Brooke." Nathan placed his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "You are a good person and you were an amazing friend to Peyton. Better than she deserved, I think."_

_Brooke looked at Nathan and shook her head. She knew Derek was overreacting; but it hadn't occurred to her how bad this might look to people outside her close group of friends. It would look like she was stealing Peyton's fiancé and daughter away from her…and her body wasn't even cold, yet. She leaned against the passenger side door of Nathan's SUV and began sobbing. _

_Nathan drew her into a hug. "Oh, Davis," he sighed. "Who cares what he thinks? Who cares what anyone thinks? It doesn't matter. Come on; let's get you and Luke back home."_

_Brooke just nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She knew Nathan was right. She shouldn't care what other people think. She knew she was a good person and had a good heart…but what Derek had said to her struck a chord all the same._

* * *

Brooke stared at her image in the mirror. She looked so unlike herself; she was dressed in jeans and her Clothes Over Bros t-shirt. She wore no make-up and her hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail, her bangs falling in her eyes. Brooke was still hurting from the words Derek had hurled at her last night. She found it interesting that Peyton's half-brother was castigating her for being in love with Lucas after describing all of the awful things Peyton had done. What Derek told them had shocked Brooke. She knew Peyton had changed over the past few years, but she wondered if she had just simply been blind to Peyton's true character all along. Brooke spent much of the drive to Tree Hill thinking back over the course of their friendship and everything they'd been through. Sadly, Brooke was discovering that Peyton Sawyer was not the person she thought she was. It was almost as if Peyton were dying all over again; only more devastating.

Lucas emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered. "Ready to go?" he asked.

"Yes, I am." Brooke smiled at him and nodded, taking his hand in hers. And, they went downstairs to statr their day.

* * *

_"I know who I am, but who are you? You're not looking like you used to. You're on the other side of the mirror; so nothing's looking quite as clear. Thank you for turning on the lights! Thank you, now you're the parasite. I didn't think you had it in you…And now you're looking like I used to!"_

**The song lyrics refer to how a side of Peyton Brooke's never really seen before has been exposed and how she feels kind of betrayed by the revelation. For a more literal translation, in my timeline, it's Sunday morning. (lol) Hope you enjoyed!**


	14. Lucky

**Hi everyone. Things haven't been so good for me this week. A childhood friend passed away Friday after a 13 year long battle with cancer. It wasn't unexpected, but it's still hard, all the same. I'm still kind of trying to process it.**

**This chapter's a little fluffy. I wanted to write something nice and light to perk myself up a bit. I hope you all enjoy it and as always, thanks for any reviews/ comments/ suggestions, etc. The action will pick up soon – promise.**

* * *

**Chapter 14 – Lucky**

"_I know we are, we are the lucky ones...I know we are, we are the lucky ones...I know we are, we are the lucky ones, dear, my dear. It's time to say thank god for you; I thank god for you in each and every single way." – Bif Naked_

Brooke lay in bed, curled up next to Lucas. She listened to his deep, regular breathing, wishing she could drift off as quickly as he had. She was tired, more tired than she had ever been in her life...but sleep was eluding her tonight. She raised her head and looked at the clock radio on the nightstand. It was just after midnight. She sighed and sat up, drawing her knees to her chest. She rested her chin on her knees and stared at Lucas as he slept. He was sprawled out on his back, his right arm resting on his stomach. His features were relaxed. Brooke could feel a familiar tingly warmth spreading through her chest. God, she loved him so much. It scared her how swiftly the intensity of her feelings had returned. She remembered how they had almost made love that morning...it was amazing how he possessed the ability to sweep her away to a place where all she cared about was him, leaving everything else behind. She wasn't sure what was going to happen after things settled down. Would they live together? Or would they live in the same city, and try dating? What about Luke's job teaching at Duke? What about Clothes Over Bros? And, the biggest question: what about Sawyer? They hadn't really had time to think of the practical stuff.

At least the plans for Peyton's memorial were complete. Brooke had decided it was more fitting to call it a 'celebration' of Peyton's life. It was going to take place on Thursday. There was going to be a simple burial at the Tree Hill cemetery, for close friends and family followed by a wake at Tric. There was going to be music, speeches and a memory wall where people could write down their memories of Peyton. She was also going to ask that people bring photographs so she could start a memory book for Sawyer. Haley was going to sing and she was going to see if Jake was willing to perform as well. Brooke thought it would be a fitting tribute. Everyone agreed that Peyton would approve. Rachel, Millie and Deb were taking care of the preparations so Brooke didn't have to worry about anything. How ironic that she was lying awake worrying...

* * *

_Earlier that day_

_Brooke sighed and leaned back in her chair. "I think we've got it figured out," she said, tiredly. She looked around the table and smiled slightly. "Did I ever tell you how amazing you all are?" Rachel, Millie, and Haley were seated around the dining room table. Rachel and Millie had arrived a couple of hours ago and they'd come straight from the airport to Haley and Nathan's._

"_No, but you could tell me again." Rachel replied, with a smirk. Her tone was light, but Brooke could see the sombre expression in her brown eyes. _

_Millie looked up from her notebook, where she had made pages of notes. "We're all here for you, Brooke. Just leave it to us – we'll take care of everything. You don't have to lift a finger." She reached over and took Brooke's hand. "You should rest. You look exhausted."_

_Brooke smiled at her concern. "Why does everyone keep telling me that? I'm doing fine, considering..."_

"_Liar." Rachel broke in. "You look awful, B. Davis."_

"_Rachel!" Haley exclaimed._

_Rachel shrugged. "I'm being honest. She needs tough love; otherwise, she'll continue on like this and she'll have a break down." She leaned forward, looking directly into Brooke's eyes. "We get it, Brooke. You're strong and you want to take care of everyone. But, you've lost a close friend and nearly lost the love of your life. Go upstairs and lie down next your Broody or whatever you're calling him now, and leave everything to us."_

"_But I need to talk with Millie. The company –" Brooke protested._

"_Clothes Over Bros is fine. Millie has it under control. It'll keep for a few days." Rachel interrupted._

_Brooke looked at Millie, uncertainly. "Are you sure we don't need to meet?"_

_Millie exchanged a glance with Rachel. "Brooke, do you trust me?"_

_Brooke drew back, surprised. "Of course I do. I wouldn't have left you in charge if I didn't."_

"_Then, let me handle it. We'll meet next week, after everything settles down and discuss next steps." Millie spoke in a soft, but firm tone. "You have an excellent management team and they've pulled together. And, Tatiana is like a field marshal – she's got eyes and ears everywhere and she's keeping everyone on their toes. You don't need to worry about your baby." Millie squeezed her hand. "Now, just worry about getting through the next few days...Take care of Luke, take care of yourself and take care of your goddaughter when she gets here." _

"_Yeah, when is Derek the Dick bringing her over?" Rachel asked._

"_Rachel!" Haley exclaimed again. _

"_Well, he was being a dick." Rachel replied. "I can't believe he said those things to Brooke. I mean, Peyton's pulled some pretty shitty stunts, but it's like she gets a free pass because she's dead."_

_Everyone was silent for a moment. They all agreed with Rachel's statement, but they didn't want to say it out loud._

_Millie was the first to break the silence. "Come on, Rach. We've got to get going. We've got a lot to do over the next couple of days." She gathered up her things and got to her feet. Rachel followed suit._

"_Thank you, both of you. I don't know what I'd do without you." Brooke stood up and enveloped Millie and Rachel in a hug. "Tutor Mom, come here and get in on this!" She ordered Haley, who was sitting off the side, observing them._

_Haley joined the group hug and the four women stood together, for a few moments, taking comfort from each other._

"_What is this? A meeting of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood?" The girls turned and saw Nathan standing in the doorway, looking at them in amusement. _

_Rachel broke away from the hug and approached him. "Hey, Mr. NBA. Looking good," she said, flirtatiously._

_Nathan just chuckled. "You never give up, do you Gatina?"_

_Rachel just smiled at him and winked. "What can I say? I'm tenacious."_

_Brooke and Haley exchanged a glance and rolled their eyes at each other. "Some things never change." Haley muttered and approached her husband, putting her arm around his waist. Haley knew Rachel was only joking, but she remembered all too well how Rachel tried to seduce Nathan back in high school._

"_Don't worry, Mrs. Scott. He's too old for me. I like them young and innocent, so I can corrupt them. Fresh meat is much more satisfying." Rachel smiled, wickedly. "We were just leaving...see you all tomorrow. And get some rest, Brooke."_

_Brooke sighed and rolled her eyes again. "Okay, okay. Just get off my case."_

_Rachel and Millie said their good-byes and left, Nathan walking them out. Brooke sighed and crossed her arms. _

_Haley put her arm around her friend's shoulders. "What are you thinking about, Tigger?"_

"_In less than two hours, my goddaughter will be here." Brooke looked at Haley. "I am so excited to finally meet her, but –"_

"_But, what?"_

"_I'm scared." Brooke said, simply. "I promised Peyton I would look after Sawyer and I intend on keeping that promise. I just hope I can do it."_

_Haley rubbed Brooke's back. "I have every confidence in you. And, Peyton did, too. You will be an amazing godmother. You've already had plenty of practice with Jamie. He adores you and Sawyer will, too. And, so will this little one." Haley smiled, as she put her hand on her stomach. "Now, let's both go and relax for a bit. We might have just enough time to watch the Sex and the City movie."_

_Brooke smiled widely, her famous dimples flashing. "That sounds fantastic, Tutor Mom."_

* * *

Haley lay in bed, trying to get comfortable, but it was a losing battle. Her back was sore, her feet were swollen and the baby was kicking violently against her ribcage. Haley groaned. "I thought you were supposed to be settling down. You're not supposed to have any room left to move, yet somehow you're able to play a game of soccer in there!"

Nathan smiled at his wife, watching her as she rubbed her belly and talked to their daughter-to-be. "Only seventeen more days, Hales. You can do this." Nathan sat down at the foot of the bed and propped Haley's feet up in his lap and began massaging them. She began to relax and closed her eyes. Haley's feet had swollen to the point where she had to wear shoes that were two sizes too big, or go barefoot. Nathan felt bad for not being around so much the last couple of months to help out more. That was the problem with being a professional athlete; he was away from his family more often than he would like. He was sitting out the next two games but he was due back in Charlotte on Friday. He had a very short window of time to get his head back in the game and it wasn't going to be easy.

He looked at Haley, as she lay with her eyes closed, her hands resting on her stomach. Her long reddish brown hair spilled over her shoulders, and a sweet smile brightened her features. She was absolutely radiant. Nathan was struck at how she could still take his breath away, even after all this time.

Haley sighed contentedly. "Nate, that feels so good; you have no idea."

"Even better than sex?" Nathan asked, jokingly.

Haley opened her eyes and glared at him. "I am seriously considering becoming celibate after this baby comes out."

"That'll last like a month, tops. I'm just too irresistible." Nathan smirked at her. "What was it they said in that magazine? 'Nathan Scott oozes sexual charisma.'"

Haley groaned. "Are you seriously still quoting _People_ magazine? That was two years ago. Give it a rest, already."

Nathan chuckled, knowing she was secretly proud that her husband had been named one of _People's Sexiest Men Alive_. He watched as she closed her eyes once again.

This second pregnancy was difficult. First, it was the so-called morning sickness, which would appear at any time, except the morning. And it would come without warning. Poor Hales had even puked at a meeting with her record label, one unfortunate afternoon. Luckily, a wastebasket was handy. Not only that, it had lasted well into the sixth month of pregnancy. And, the mood swings...wow. Nathan hadn't seen anything like it since he lived at home with Dan and Deb. Part of the problem was that Haley had barely gotten a good night sleep since the baby started moving. Apparently, she didn't stop kicking all night, every night. Haley was ready to issue and eviction notice and Nathan didn't blame her. Their daughter was already giving them their share of headaches, and she had yet to make her appearance. Nathan chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Haley asked.

"Just thinking about how this little girl's been giving us a lot of trouble and she isn't even here, yet." Nathan said.

"I know. What the hell is up with that? When I was pregnant with Jamie, it was so easy." Haley sighed.

"Easy? Are you serious? Remember how you almost had a miscarriage or the time you got hit by a car?"

Haley shrugged. "Trust me, that stuff seems like a cakewalk compared to having absolute no control over my body for nine months."

"I think this baby's going to be a hell-raiser, just like her dad." Nathan said, proudly.

Haley just stared at him, her eyes widened. "If this kid steals a school bus and takes it on a drunken joyride, that's _your _problem."

Nathan chuckled, but then quickly sobered up when he remembered some of his adolescent antics. "Oh well. Jamie can keep her in line. That's what big brothers are for." He was silent for a minute, and then he started chuckling again. "Speaking of Jamie, I just remembered something he said this morning."

"Oh?"

"He said he saw Luke and Brooke making a baby."

Haley sat up. "What?! My baby saw them having sex? Nathan, he'll be scarred for life! I'm going to have to have a talk with them. Some godparents they are."

Nathan laughed at her reaction. "Hales, it's all good. I questioned him about what he saw – Brooke was sitting in Luke's lap and they were fully clothed. But, they were biting each other's necks, like vampires. At least that's what Jamie thought."

Haley breathed a sigh of relief. "That kid is so smart, it's scary." Haley said, with an undertone of pride.

Nathan leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "He gets it from you." Nathan climbed into bed beside his wife. He was beat – it had been a long day. "Hales?"

"Yeah?" Haley turned her head and looked at him.

"I'm really glad Luke and Brooke are here. I've missed them." Nathan said, simply.

Haley smiled. "Me too. I'm glad they're here together. It feels like everything's been set right, in a weird way." Her smile faded. "I just wish it was under better circumstances."

Nathan turned on his side and snuggled close to Haley, wrapping his arm around her. "Me too. But, now that Sawyer's here, we won't have to worry about Jamie walking in on any more baby-making...in theory."

Haley laughed. "That's true." She sighed again, her expression growing more serious. "Nate, I wish you didn't have to go. What if the baby comes while you're gone?"

Nathan propped himself up on one elbow. "I don't want to be away either, Hales. But I have an idea...What if I asked Luke and Brooke to stay for a while? Just until after the baby comes. Then, you won't be alone and it'll give them some time to figure stuff out for themselves. I mean, there's plenty of room and once they get some of Sawyer's things back from Jake, they could set her up in one of the spare rooms."

Haley's eyes lit up. "I would love it. Do you think they would be okay with that?"

Nathan nodded. "I think so, at least temporarily. And, maybe we could convince them to move back to Tree Hill for good."

Haley laughed. "So, you have this all planned out."

"Like I said, I've really missed having them around. I guess I just didn't realize how much." Nathan replied.

Haley sighed contentedly. "I love you, Nathan."

"Love you too, Hales." Nathan kissed her on the lips, before leaning down to kiss her belly. "Love you, too, little girl. Now settle down so your Mommy can sleep." As if the baby could understand Nathan's words, she gave one final kick and settled down.

Haley yawned and closed her eyes and smiled, thinking of having Lucas and Brooke back in Tree Hill, where they belonged.

* * *

A loud cry jolted Lucas awake. He bolted upright in bed, disoriented. He squinted as his eyes adjusted to the dim light in the room. The cries were coming from the baby monitor on the nightstand. '_Sawyer_,' he thought to himself, his heart pounding. He barely noticed that Brooke's side of the bed was empty as he threw back the covers and stumbled out of bed. They had put Sawyer in the room Nathan and Haley had prepared for his niece, for now. Lucas walked down the hall towards the nursery. He was surprised to find the door to the nursery partially open, light spilling into the dark hallway. Lucas peered inside and found Brooke sitting in the rocking chair, with Sawyer in her arms. He didn't want to interrupt the picture-perfect moment, so he just watched them together, as Sawyer, who had stopped crying, stared up at Brooke with wide blue-green eyes.

"What's the matter baby girl? Your diaper is dry and you can't be hungry, yet. Maybe you can't sleep?" Brooke slowly rocked back and forth in the chair. "Oh, I know...you miss your momma, don't you? I miss her, too, sweetheart...but you have so many people who love you, especially your daddy. No matter what anyone says, he will always be your daddy." Sawyer reached up and grabbed Brooke's finger.

Lucas smiled at them and leaned against the doorframe, continuing to listen.

"I'm going to tell you a secret, Sawyer Penelope Scott. And you have to promise not to tell a soul." Sawyer squealed and Brooke laughed, softly. "I'll take that as a 'yes.'" Brooke shifted Sawyer and the baby nestled into her neck.

"I've always wanted a baby girl, just like you." Brooke whispered, softly. "Once, I thought I was going to have a baby...but that turned out to be a false alarm. Sometimes, when I felt lonely, I would lie awake and imagine what it would have been like if I'd actually had a baby; Lucas' baby...I've always wanted to be a mom. I'm going to take care of you, Sawyer, and make sure that you are happy, safe and loved. No matter what, I will always be there for you, just like your mom would." Brooke leaned down and kissed the top of Sawyer's head.

Lucas never realized that Brooke felt so strongly about wanting children..._his_ children. This revelation stirred something deep inside of him; he wanted to give Brooke what she desired one day. He wanted her to bear his children. Watching her snuggling Sawyer made him love her even more, if that was possible. He approached Brooke and touched her on the shoulder. "How is she?"

Brooke looked up at him and smiled. "She's fine. Just a little lonely, I think."

Lucas reached down and took Sawyer from Brooke's arms. "Hey, little girl. It's been a big day for you, hasn't it?"

Brooke smiled, as Sawyer craned her neck to look up at Luke, hearing the sound of his voice. "She knows your voice. It's amazing."

"Come here, Pretty Girl." Luke held his hand out to her. Brooke rose from the rocking chair and joined him, wrapping an arm around his waist. Together, they gazed down at Sawyer, who looked up at them both, her small mouth forming a smile.

"Aw, she's smiling!" Brooke exclaimed, stroking Sawyer's cheek.

Lucas chuckled. "I think it's just a reflex."

"I saw her! She totally smiled at us, Luke." She kissed Sawyer's fingers. "You have such a pretty smile, sweetie." Sawyer cooed and smiled again. "See?" Brooke asked, triumphantly.

Lucas beamed, seeing how entranced Brooke and Sawyer were with each other. He kept saying all along that they would be okay and now, he actually believed it. "Come on, let's go back to bed."

"What about Sawyer? I don't want to leave her alone." Brooke said, in a worried tone.

"We won't have to. I'll bring her in with us for a little while. She'll need another feeding soon, unless her schedule's totally messed up. Let's go, godmother." Luke led Brooke back to their room. They got settled back into bed. Luke was sitting up, with Sawyer cradled against his chest, supporting her weight with his left arm. Brooke cuddled up to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Are you comfy?" she asked. "I don't want to hurt you."

He kissed the top of her head. "I've got my two favourite girls with me...I'm going to be just fine." Sawyer was already starting to drift off to sleep. "Try and get some sleep, Brooke. Follow your goddaughter's lead...you've had a long day."

Brooke yawned, still gazing at Sawyer. "I just want to make sure you're both okay...you need to rest, too, Luke. You just survived a car accident. And your mom's coming tomorrow."

"I slept all afternoon...I'm kind of wide awake, now. Don't worry about us. We'll be fine." Luke said, soothingly.

Brooke was struggling to keep her eyes open, but Luke could tell she was fading fast. "Maybe if I just rest my eyes for a few minutes..."She sighed, softly. "I feel so happy and peaceful right now...I feel like it's wrong to feel this way with Peyton gone..."

Luke squeezed her tightly. "It's not wrong, Brooke. I feel the same way – I have everything I ever really wanted in my arms right now."

Brooke shifted slightly. "I love you so much, Broody. I wish it could be this good forever..." she murmured quietly, her breathing becoming deeper and more regular.

"I love you too, Cheery..." He whispered. He looked down at Brooke and Sawyer. He wished they could stay with Haley, Nathan and Jamie – ensconced away from the rest of the world, surrounded by those who loved them.

* * *

It was nearly noon when Brooke awakened the next morning. She stretched and turned over, squinting slightly at the sunlight streaming into the room. She felt rested and refreshed for the first time in days. She smiled to herself, remembering how she fell asleep, cuddled up in Luke's arms, with Sawyer. It had been a long time since she had felt so safe and secure. Her doubts and worries from the day before had faded away. Brooke raised her head briefly and saw that Luke's side of the bed was empty. She briefly considered getting up and joining everyone downstairs; instead she snuggled down into the covers and curled up. Who knows when she would get a chance to sleep in this late again? Brooke closed her eyes and sighed contentedly. Everyone was telling her not to worry – so she wouldn't. She drifted off again, a smile on her face and Lucas' name on her lips.

"Good afternoon, Cheery. Time to wake up." Brooke opened her eyes. Lucas was lying in bed, facing her, fully clothed.

Brooke smiled at him. "Hi Broody." She reached over and gently traced her finger over the cut on his forehead. "You look good today."

Lucas grinned and pulled her closer. "So do you. You had a smile on your face when I came in. What were you dreaming about?"

"I'll give you one guess." Brooke whispered in a throaty voice. She leaned forward and kissed him hard on the lips. Then, she broke away and looked into his eyes. They were a deep dark blue, today. So deep she could lose herself in them. And she didn't mind at all.

They lay still for a moment, just looking into each other's eyes. Drinking each other in. Lucas slid his hand up her shirt and caressed her breast. Brooke gasped, slightly as she felt and electric tingle course through her. Lucas smirked, slightly and pressed his lips against hers. He kissed her deeply, almost hungrily. For once, he was the aggressor and Brooke felt herself being swept along with his desire. She slipped her own hands under his shirt and gently scratched ran her nails down his back, just like she had done the previous morning. Lucas groaned and pulled her on top of him, without breaking the kiss. Brooke reached down and unzipped his jeans and slid her hand down underneath his boxers. Lucas sat up and broke the kiss. He pulled off his shirt and reached under her tank top, again.

"Wait," she whispered.

"What?"

"Did you lock the door?"

Lucas grinned and continued sliding the shirt over her head. "What do you think?" He dropped her tank top on the floor beside the bed. He stared at her, his eyes filled with a mixture of love and desire. He reached up and caressed her cheek. She leaned against his hand and closed her eyes. "God, you're beautiful." Luke's voice shook with emotion. He leaned in again and kissed on the lips, moving down to her neck, her shoulders, and her breasts. Brooke reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. She ran her hands down his chest, over his toned stomach.

"I want you, Lucas." She whispered in his ear.

Luke pushed her back on to the bed and he slipped out of his jeans and his boxers as Brooke pulled off her pyjama pants and underwear. They stared at each other again, in awe. It seemed so natural, even after all this time. Lucas pulled her close to him and there was no space between their bodies. They kissed again and Brooke moaned as he thrust inside her and they truly became one. Her head was filled with him, his kisses, his eyes, just Lucas. Her Lucas. She completely lost herself in their lovemaking; something she had never done before. She cried out his name as an intense orgasm ripped through her body and he whispered "I love you" over and over in her ear as he climaxed seconds later. They collapsed against each other, completely spent. Luke rested his forehead against hers and kissed the tip of her nose. Brooke could feel his hear racing against her chest.

"That was...intense." Lucas whispered.

Brooke smiled at him. "I know...I love this moment. Let's just..."

Lucas kissed her wrapped his arms around her. "Let's just enjoy it." He whispered.

Suddenly, a knock at the door disturbed their peace. "Luke? Are you in there, my boy?"

Brooke's eyes widened. "It's your mom!" She hissed.

"What the hell? She's early." Lucas jumped to his feet and quickly pulled on his underwear. "Just a second, Ma."

Watching Lucas scrambling around for his clothes reminded her of high school and how they were always getting caught by someone. If it wasn't his Uncle Keith, it was his mom, or Peyton, or Haley, or Nathan...was there anyone who hadn't walked in on them? Brooke started giggling as she remembered that Jamie had nearly gotten an eyeful yesterday.

Lucas pulled his shirt over his head and looked at her, puzzled. "What are laughing at?"

"We're not in high school, Luke." Brooke jumped out of bed and grabbed her bathrobe and wrapped it around herself, belting it tightly. She then threw open the bedroom door. "Hi Karen!"

Karen Roe stood in shock as she saw Brooke dressed only in her bathrobe in the middle of the afternoon...and her son standing behind her, rubbing his neck, looking embarrassed. "Oh my. Did I accidently open the door to the past?"

Lucas came up beside Brooke and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Hi, Mom...I've got a lot to tell you."

Karen just shook her head. "It's true what they say: the more things change, the more they stay the same." She opened her arms and drew both of them into a hug. I'm so glad you're both okay. Now, Brooke, go put on some clothes. Luke, come downstairs with me and you can start telling me what's been going on."

* * *

**I know it's kind of a weird place to leave off. Next time, we skip ahead to the wake and a major revelation. And, yes, I swiped Karen's line about opening the door to the past from an old OTH episode. :)**


	15. Don't Believe the Actress

**I was feeling extra inspired this week, plus it's been super-slow at work, so I've been able to write a little more. Enjoy, please and keep sending me comments, etc. I really do enjoy them.**

* * *

**Chapter 15 – Don't Believe the Actress**

"_Well, you know that I compare you to someone I want more; and I can't make promises I've broken once before. So, take my presence lightly and listen with your eyes. Don't believe the actress; even when she cries". - Dala_

"Hey, bitch."

Brooke turned and smiled at Rachel, who was approaching her, holding a martini in one hand and a glass of water in the other. Brooke shifted a sleeping Sawyer, so her head was resting on Brooke's shoulder. "Hey, _friend_." She replied, pointedly as she accepted the glass of water and took a long drink. "No swearing around my goddaughter, please."

Rachel rolled her eyes."Please. She's only two months old. She doesn't understand."

"You'd be surprised. You're going to have to be a little more creative in your greetings from now on." Brooke kissed the top of Sawyer's head. "Or you can spell things out. At least until she learns to talk."

"Okay, then, let's start over." Rachel took a sip of her drink and tossed her head. "Hey, b-i-t-c-h."

"Hey, s-l-u-t." Brooke grimaced. "It's not the same, is it?"

"Nah." Rachel shrugged, a little sadly. "I guess everything's changing. You're going to be moving in with Broody, Naley and company...This arrangement reminds me of _Full House_, by the way. Except without that hottie Uncle Jesse. It's going to suck without you in New York."

Brooke titled her head and smiled at her friend. "Who says I won't be back?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Please. Your heart's always been here in this stupid town." She quickly changed the subject. "You did well today, Brookie. This shindig's turning out just perfectly."

"You and Millie did all the work. The credit should go to you two."

"But it was your idea. You've always had the best ideas." Rachel looked at Brooke. "Peyton was not my favourite person, but I think she would have liked this. The music, her friends, the atmosphere – this was totally her."

Brooke smiled, sadly. "That means a lot to me, Rach."

The two friends were silent for a moment, surveying their surroundings. Quite a few people had shown up – more than Brooke had expected. The atmosphere was subdued, but not depressing. Luke was standing over by the bar, talking with Nathan and Skills. Bevin, Theresa and some other girls Brooke remembered from the cheerleading squad were standing in a group near the stage. Haley sat at a table with Karen, Deb, Lily and Jamie. The kids were busy coloring while the women chatted. Derek and his family were sitting at the next table over and Andy had joined them. Brooke could see Mouth writing on the memory wall. She caught his eye and smiled. Mouth grinned back at them.

Rachel brought Mouth over to Nathan and Haley's yesterday for a visit. Brooke hadn't seen Mouth in ages; not since he had moved to Nebraska for a sports anchor job in Omaha. "So, have you and Mouth picked up where you left off?" She'd always harboured a secret hope that Rachel and Mouth would get together.

Rachel smiled. "We're still just friends. Actually, I think he might be better suited for Millie." Rachel dropped her voice. "I actually made coffee dates with each of them at Karen's Cafe on Tuesday and then 'forgot' to show up."

Brooke nodded. "I'm impressed. So, how did it go?"

"They seemed to hit it off. Millie told me they have a dinner date tomorrow night." Rachel said, smugly.

Brooke put down her waterglass on a nearby table and gently shifted Sawyer to her other arm. "But, what about the distance? Mouth's in Omaha, Millie's in New York."

Rachel smirked and took a long sip of her martini. "B. Davis, come on. You know me better than that." Rachel glanced around making sure there was no one in earshot before continuing. "Mouth was offered a job in New Jersey. But, it's top secret. He hasn't given notice in Omaha, yet.

Brooke jaw dropped. "That's so exciting! Can you imagine if they get married?! They would be so adorable!"

"Who's getting married?" a familiar voice asked.

Brooke turned and found Jake standing a few feet away. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. He had a small smile on his lips that didn't quite reach his eyes. A guitar case was slung over his shoulder. Brooke smiled back at him; she was glad he had decided to play something, after all. She looked down, noticing a blonde-haired girl clutching his hand and staring up at Brooke and Rachel. "Hi Jake." Brooke leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "And you must be Jenny. I haven't seen you since you were a little baby." Brooke said, warmly.

Jenny nodded shyly and ducked her head behind Jake's arm. Jake chuckled, warmly. "She's a little shy." He offered his hand to Rachel. "I'm Jake Jagielski."

Rachel smiled and shook his hand. "Rachel Gatina."

"Oh my god." Brooke slapped herself on the forehead. "I can't believe I didn't introduce you two! I totally forgot that you haven't met."

Rachel just laughed. "I've heard a lot about you over the years, Jake. I feel like I know you, already." It was true. Even though Jake had left town before she moved to Tree Hill, Rachel had heard many stories about what a fabulous guy he was. Devoted dad, great basketball player, loyal friend, talented musician, great in the sack (according to Peyton); Rachel had heard it all. He seemed too good to be true. Not one person ever had anything bad to say about Jake – until now. Rachel tilted her head to the side, looking him up and down. He didn't seem like the type to run around with his friend's fiancée.

"Really? Only good things, I hope." Jake responded, lightly, but the expression in his eyes was serious.

"Well, according to these guys, you've practically been nominated for sainthood." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. Jake was looking at her with a mixture of annoyance and amusement. Rachel noticed Brooke giving her a strange look.

Sawyer stirred and started squirming in Brooke's arms. "Uh-oh. I think someone's about to wake up and she's probably hungry." Brooke said. Sawyer let out a loud wail and Brooke quickly excused herself.

Rachel and Jake watched as Brooke hurried towards the back of the room where they had put Sawyer's diaper bag. Rachel noticed Lucas break away from Nathan and Skills to catch up with Brooke. He took Sawyer from her arms, as she dug through the bag for a bottle.

"It's nice to see that Sawyer's in such good hands." Jake commented.

Rachel nodded. "She's all alone in world...it's a good thing she has Brooke and Luke. I've never seen two people more devoted to a baby – especially one that wasn't theirs."

Jake looked after them, wistfully, but remained silent. Rachel wracked her brain, trying to think of something to say. Usually she had no trouble coming up with witty remarks; in fact she prided herself on being able to talk to men without too much difficulty. But, this Jake-guy was different. He didn't seem like the type to be amused by her flirtatious attitude, especially in light of the circumstances. Instead, she turned her attention to Jenny.

"Hi, I'm Rachel. I really like your dress." She smiled at the seven-year-old, who was wearing a red dress with a black sash. "Red's one of my favourite colors."

Jenny beamed. She had a beautiful smile. Rachel noted that she had Jake's eyes. "I'm Jenny. I really like your bracelet."

Rachel smiled and fingered the silver and ruby bracelet she had bought herself on a trip to Hong Kong. "Thanks. I guess you knew Peyton pretty well." Rachel glanced over at Jake, who seemed to tense up slightly when she mentioned Peyton's name.

Jenny nodded. "Yeah, I miss her." She replied, sadly. She tilted her head and looked up at Rachel. "Did you know Peyton?"

"Yeah, I did. We weren't that close, though." Rachel bit her lip, not wanting to say anything bad about Peyton in front of Jenny or Jake, who was pretending not to listen. "She was a pretty neat person." Rachel said, lamely.

Luckily, Millie chose that moment to interrupt. Rachel could have hugged her, she was so grateful. "Hi, Jake. Sorry to interrupt; I'm Millie – we spoke on the phone. Whenever you're ready, you can come with me. You'll be playing after Mia."

"Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you." Jake looked a little confused as he shook her hand. "I just have to find someone for Jenny to hang with while I'm on-stage. She doesn't really know anyone and I don't want to leave her alone."

"I know Rachel." Jenny broke in.

Jake looked at Rachel, surprised. "Um, honey, Rachel might be busy."

"Oh, it's no problem, really." Rachel hastily replied. What was she getting herself into?

Jenny took Rachel's hand. "See? It's no problem."

Jake looked at Millie, who was checking her watch, anxiously, and then back at Rachel. "Well, okay, then." He cocked his head to one side and smirked at Rachel. "All I ask is that you avoid spirits while you're looking after her."

"Like ghosts, Daddy?" Jenny asked.

Rachel looked at Jake, puzzled. Was he serious? Why was he telling his young daughter that there were ghosts hanging around at a funeral?

Jake chuckled. "No, not ghosts." He nodded slightly at Rachel's martini, which she still held in her free hand.

"Oh! Right. This isn't mine. Here Millie; I got you that drink you asked for." Rachel hastily handed the drink over to Millie, who shot Rachel a bewildered look.

"Uh, thanks, Rach." Millie said, sarcastically. "Well, now that everything's settled...Are you ready Jake?"

"I guess." Jake hoisted his guitar case further up his shoulder. Then he leaned down and kissed Jenny on the cheek. "Be good."

"I will, Dad." Jenny rolled her eyes.

Jake turned his attention to Rachel. "You, too." He said, in an amused tone as he walked away.

Rachel watched him as he followed Millie towards the stage. "Well, that was interesting." She muttered to herself.

"What was interesting?" Jenny asked her, curiously.

Rachel bit her lip, realizing she hadn't meant to be talking out loud. "Uh, nothing. Do you want some juice or something? Or we could go write on the memory wall?"

Jenny looked over at the memory wall. "I get to write whatever I want on the wall? Like graffiti?"

"Kind of. Come on, I'll show you." Rachel led Jenny over to the wall. She glanced around the room and caught sight of Jake watching them from beside the stage. He just smiled at her and shook his head before returning to his conversation with Millie and Mia. Rachel turned her attention back to Jenny, who was reading some of the messages people had written out loud to her. Something about the famous Jake Jagielski unsettled her – not in a bad way. In an interesting way.

* * *

Lucas walked rapidly across the floor, holding a freshly warmed bottle for Sawyer. Brooke was sitting in a booth near the back of the room, trying to soothe her. Mia, one of Peyton's musical protégés, was currently playing an acoustic version of "Hallelujah" on-stage. The crowd was entranced by the music; but Lucas didn't stop to enjoy it. A very hungry two-month old was currently wailing at the top of her lungs and drawing attention away from the performance. He sat down in the booth beside Brooke and handed her the bottle.

Brooke offered the bottle to Sawyer who immediately began drinking. "Poor babe, she must have been starving."

Lucas put his arm around Brooke and gazed down at Sawyer. "I swear she's getting bigger every day."

Brooke nodded. "I think she has definitely grown since Sunday. Which is good news because then I can take her shopping for some new clothes. Right, Sawyer?"

Lucas laughed. "I'm surprised you haven't started designing a line of baby clothes, yet."

Brooke cocked her head to one side and raised her right eyebrow. "You're right. Why haven't I started one? I've got the perfect model right here. What do you think of that, baby girl?"

Lucas squeezed Brooke's shoulder. "You are amazing, you know that?"

Brooke smiled up at him; a dazzling smile that made his heart stop for a split second. "I try." She replied simply.

Lucas rubbed her arm, longing to kiss her, but he knew it wasn't the time or the place. They fell silent, listening to the music and watching over the little girl Peyton had left behind.

* * *

Rachel sat at the bar, drinking a Diet Coke. It was the first time in her life she was sitting in a bar without an alcoholic drink in her hand. Rachel glanced over at Jenny, who was sitting beside her playing her Nintendo DS. She'd offered to take Jenny over to sit with Jamie and Lily, but she had insisted on staying with Rachel. She didn't mind too much; it was obvious Jenny was shy around other kids. It kind of reminded her of how she used to be as a kid.

Rachel didn't really know what to do with children. She thought they were okay, in small doses. Babies terrified her. They were always crying and you never could tell what they wanted. Rachel had to give Brooke credit for taking on such a big responsibility. She looked across the room at her friend, who was sitting in a booth, feeding Sawyer her bottle. Lucas had his arm around Brooke and whispering something in her ear. Brooke turned and smiled at whatever he was saying. Rachel smiled slightly. She was glad to see Brooke looking so blissful; she deserved it. Rachel had already threatened Lucas with bodily harm if he fucked it up again. Lucas swore up and down he would never hurt Brooke again. She believed him, but she was still a little skeptical.

She swivelled around, her back leaning against the bar as she listened to the girl singing on-stage. She was pretty good, but Rachel was curious to see Jake perform. She wondered why he would even bother; everyone here thought of Peyton as Luke's fiancée. Jake had to pretend that Peyton was nothing more than a friend while everyone else heaped sympathy on Luke. Rachel thought the whole situation was messed up; but then, that was par for the course in Tree Hill.

Rachel continued scanning the crowd, when someone caught her eye. He looked kind of familiar, but she couldn't place him. Rachel narrowed her eyes and frowned, trying to think of where she had seen him before. He had dark blonde, almost brown hair, and dark eyes. He was standing uncertainly in the doorway, as if what he was seeing was taking him by surprise. Rachel watched as he drifted over towards the memory wall, gazing at some of the messages that were written. No one approached him; he just moved through the crowd silently. He was wearing a pair of dark jeans, a blazer and a dress shirt with the top two buttons undone. She could tell that underneath all of those clothes was a toned body. He was hot. Rachel wondered who he was. If it wasn't for Jenny, she would totally hit that.

Suddenly, it struck her – she remembered where she had seen him before. "Oh. My. God. That's the guy!" Rachel exclaimed before realizing she had spoken out loud, again.

Jenny paused her game and looked up at her curiously. "What's the guy?"

Rachel just shook her head. She really had to stop doing that. "Nothing…just thinking out loud."

Jenny shook her head and went back to her game. "You've got to stop doing that. It's weird to talk to yourself."

Rachel shrugged, distracted. She was surprised it had taken her this long to remember…

* * *

_New York City – 11 Months Ago_

"_Rachel, you're sooo awesome." Haley threw her arm around Rachel's shoulders."I used to think you were a complete bitch…but I gotta tell ya, you really are...awesome." _

_They were stumbling back to their table from a stint on the dance floor. Haley had already fallen down twice, so Rachel thought it best to get her back to their table before she hurt herself or someone else. She could see Millie texting on her Blackberry while Peyton sat in the corner of the booth, moodily staring into her drink. Rachel rolled her eyes. She wished Brooke hadn't been called to work at the last minute. Between a drunkass Haley, a workaholic Millie and a sullen Peyton, the night was quickly losing its appeal. Although, she did enjoy seeing a completely different side of Haley; the girl was a lot of fun when she had a few drinks in her._

_Rachel laughed at Haley. "You're wasted, Mrs. Scott."_

_Haley looked insulted. "Nah, I am so not wasted. I'm just enjoying myself. It's been a long time since I've been able to let loose and hang with my girls. I'm a woo girl! Woo-hoo!!!!!" She shouted, much to the enjoyment of the people at the surrounding tables. _

_Rachel and Millie exchanged an amused glance. Rachel couldn't remember Haley ever letting loose and getting drunk with the girls, even back in high school. She was always the responsible one – well, except for running off and getting married at 16. And, then getting knocked up in senior year. Rachel took a sip of her vodka tonic. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself – at least __someone__ is." Rachel said, pointedly, throwing an annoyed glance in Peyton's direction._

_Peyton either didn't hear her or chose to ignore her. Haley flopped down in the booth and laid her head on the table._

"_Look, Rach, I'm going to head out." Millie said, yawning. "I'm tired."_

"_Millie, come on! It's Friday night." Rachel pleaded with her._

_Millie shrugged apologetically. "It's almost 2 a.m. and I've been up since 6 this morning."_

"_You're acting like an old lady." Rachel rolled her eyes. "Fine, go." She turned her attention to Peyton. "Hey, Goldilocks, are you taking off, too?"_

_Peyton looked up at her, with a stony expression on her face. "I was thinking about staying out a little longer. I'm not ready to head back just yet."_

_Rachel shrugged. "Suit yourself." She turned to Millie. "Would you mind taking the missus back to Brooke's? I would, except there's this guy…"_

_Peyton snorted." When isn't there a guy?"_

_Rachel shot her a quick glare. "His ass is awesome, I can't wait to fuck his brains out and I'm proud of it."_

"_You said, it, sister!" Haley mumbled, raising her head from the table._

_Millie leaned down and pulled Haley to her feet. "Come on, let's get you home."_

_Haley nodded, drunkenly. "Yeah, I think I'm done…Bye, Peyton. Bye, Rachel. Bye, Millie."_

"_No, Haley, you're coming with me." Millie insisted. "Okay, see you girls later. Try not to get into trouble."_

"_Bye." Peyton said, indifferently._

"_Thanks a million." Rachel hugged Millie, briefly._

"_I might puke in your lap…I did that to Nathan's dad once." Haley was saying as Millie steered her away towards the coat check._

"_Well, try and resist that urge, please." Millie replied, before they headed out of earshot._

_Rachel sat down at the booth and sipped her drink in silence. It was downright awkward, now that it was just the two of them. They really had nothing in common, except Brooke's friendship. Peyton had always been too moody for Rachel's taste. And, the fact that she was a backstabbing bitch didn't do anything to raise Rachel's opinion of her. Peyton looked rough, really rough. She was pale and her curly blonde hair was long and wild, like she hadn't gone to a hairdresser in years. She had circles under her eyes and was super-skinny; her clothes just hung off of her. Rachel almost felt sorry for her – she was obviously going through something._

"_What the hell are you looking at?" Peyton scowled, as she noticed Rachel staring at her._

_Any sympathy Rachel had felt towards Peyton vanished in an instant. "Nothing. Look, as fun as it is sitting in complete silence with you, I'm going to try my luck with the babe with the nice ass. Want a drink or something?"_

_Peyton waved her away. "I'll get it myself. Have fun whoring around."_

"_I'd rather be a happy whore than a dried-up backstabbing bitch trapped in a loveless relationship." Rachel shot back, without even thinking. She realized she might have gone too far when Peyton's scowl was replaced by a shocked expression. _

"_That's what everyone thinks, isn't it?" she said, more to herself than to Rachel._

"_Peyton…"_

_Peyton shook her head. "Did Brooke say that? That I'm in a loveless relationship?"_

_Rachel bit her lip and looked away. Actually, Brooke hadn't said a word to her about Peyton's relationship with Luke. A few weeks ago, she had joined Brooke and Lucas for dinner. Rachel observed the way Luke looked at Brooke; he was obviously madly in love with her. "No, Brooke never talks about your engagement."_

"_Then why did you say that?"_

_Rachel shrugged. "Well, you practically called me a whore. I just snapped."_

_Peyton looked at her, piercingly. "That was a low blow."_

"_And calling me a whore isn't?"_

_The two women just stared at each other, without saying a word. Finally, Peyton got to her feet. "I'm getting a drink." She turned and walked off in the direction of the bar._

_Rachel sighed and downed the last of her drink. She debated on whether Mr. Nice-Ass was worth the pain of putting up with Peyton. She hadn't quite decided when she noticed him approaching her. Rachel smiled as he drew up beside the booth. Now, the night was getting interesting._

"_Hi, I'm Evan."_

_Rachel smiled as she looked him up and down. He was very good-looking, almost beautiful. Rachel could tell he was young; maybe 19 or 20, tops. He had jet black hair and light green eyes. She wondered if he was trying to break into the business; he kind of looked like a wannabe model/actor/busboy. "Hi Evan. I'm Rachel."_

_Evan tilted his head and raised his eyebrows at her. "Rachel…you're not Rachel Gatina, are you? The model?"_

_Rachel smirked. She wasn't about to reveal her true identity to a potential one-night stand so he could have something to brag about to his friends. "I get that all the time. Personally, I think I'm better looking. And a hell of a lot sexier." Rachel tossed her head and held up her empty glass. "Buy me a drink? Vodka tonic."_

_Evan nodded eagerly and took off to the bar to fetch her drink. Rachel tilted her head and stared at his ass as he walked away. It __**was **__a very nice ass. Rachel glanced over towards the bar and saw Peyton downing a shot of tequila, before signalling to the bartender for another one. "I'd better not have to spend the rest of the night babysitting her drunken ass." Rachel muttered under her breath._

"_What's that?" Rachel looked up and smiled at Evan, who had reappeared rather quickly with their drinks._

_Rachel shrugged, as she took her drink from him. "Oh, nothing. Just keeping an eye on my friend, there." She slid over so Evan could sit beside her._

"_Who? The blonde? She's sure putting them away. I think they'll probably be cutting her off soon if she keeps going like that." Evan commented, as he took a sip of his beer._

"_Hmm. That may be for the best." Rachel turned her gaze away from Peyton and smiled at Evan. "Enough about her. I want to hear all about you."_

_Evan started telling her his life story, but Rachel barely listened. Her assessment was right: the boy had only arrived in town two months ago and worked as a bartender at this very club while he waited for his big break. She really just wanted to fuck him and be done with it. She reached over and grabbed his collar, pulling him into a fervent kiss. He seemed surprised, at first, but got into it fairly quickly. '_That's more like it…_' Rachel thought to herself. _

"_What the fuck are you doing here?"_

_Rachel tore herself away from the kiss when she heard Peyton shouting. She leaned past Evan to get a better look. Peyton was standing next to the bar, talking to – well, screaming at – a random guy; an extremely good-looking guy, at that. Rachel couldn't hear what he was saying in response, but Peyton was visibly upset._

"_You're an asshole! You left me all alone when I needed you the most! How could you do that to me? How could you?" Peyton's face was red and tears were streaming down her face. "You just fucking left me." She said again, her voice breaking._

_The guy leaned over and put his hand on her shoulder, and Peyton angrily shook it off, still sobbing. He tried again, leaning in closely and whispering in her ear. Whatever he said, it had a profound effect on Peyton. She froze, staring at him wide-eyed. The blood had drained from her face and for a split second, Rachel thought she was going to faint. Instead, Peyton raised her right hand, curled it into a fist and punched him hard on his left cheek. Rachel raised a hand to mouth, in shock. She could hear the sound of the blow making contact with his face from where she was sitting. She quickly pushed Evan aside and scrambled to her feet, fighting through the crowd that had gathered around. The guy just stood there, astounded, staring at Peyton while she cried._

_A heavyset bouncer was already approaching them and Rachel could hear him telling Peyton and the random guy to get the hell out._

"_It's okay. We were just leaving." The guy was saying, taking Peyton gently by the arm. Peyton didn't resist as he put his arm around her and guided her towards the front entrance of the club._

_Rachel finally broke through the crowd and caught up to them. "Peyton!" She shouted. Peyton stopped and glared at her through her tears."Are you okay?"_

"_Why do you care, Rachel? We're not friends. Don't pretend that you give a shit." Peyton replied, tonelessly._

_Rachel cast a side-long glance at the guy. He was gazing down at Peyton with a pained expression, his brown eyes filled with regret. "Peyton –" Rachel tried again._

"_Rachel, just fuck off and mind your own business for once." Peyton turned to the guy. "Get me out of here." He nodded and continued leading her away._

_Rachel crossed her arms and stared after them, shaking her head. "What the fuck just happened?" she murmured._

"_Hey," Evan put his hand on her arm. "Is your friend okay?"_

_Rachel shook her head. "She'll be fine. And she's not really my friend."_

_Evan smiled at her. "I kind of gathered."_

_Rachel returned his smile and looped her fingers through the belt loops of his jeans, pulling him closer to her. "Let's get out of here. Your place."_

_Evan's grin widened as he leaned down and kissed her. "Sounds good to me…"_

* * *

And that was the last time she had seen the random guy…until today. Rachel gave herself a mental shake, as she realized that Jenny was tugging on her hand, impatiently. "Rachel. My daddy's going to be playing next. I want to sit closer."

"Sure thing. I just have to talk to Brooke for a second." Rachel stood up. For some reason, it seemed really important that Brooke knew that _the guy_ was here, at Peyton's funeral. "Can you wait right here for me?"

"No way." Jenny shook her head. "Daddy told you to look after me. You're not allowed to leave me alone."

Rachel rolled her eyes and offered her hand to her young charge. "Okay, come on."

* * *

Lucas looked up, as he noticed Rachel and Jenny approaching their booth. That was an odd pairing. Lucas couldn't help smiling, bemused at the sight. He gently nudged Brooke. "Look who's into babysitting, now."

Brooke looked up and smiled at the sight of Rachel and Jenny walking towards them hand-in-hand. Her smile faded slightly as she saw the look on Rachel's face. Her friend's expression was serious and she raised her eyebrows slightly at Brooke, indicating that she wanted to speak to her alone. Brooke turned and passed Sawyer over to Luke's waiting arms. "I'd better see what she wants."

"Okay. She's probably going to try and pawn Jenny of on us so she can chase after some guy." Lucas shrugged.

Brooke narrowed her eyes and put her hand on his left hip. "Lucas, I can't believe you said that. As if she would be chasing guys at a funeral, for god's sake." Lucas raised an eyebrow at her and Brooke shook her head, laughing. "Who am I kidding?" She walked over to Rachel, ignoring Luke's smug expression.

"What's going on?" Brooke asked Rachel in a low voice.

Rachel glanced down at Jenny, who was still holding tight to her hand. She was going to have to word this very carefully. "Remember that time the girls came to New York and one of them disappeared?"

"Yeah?" Brooke frowned. "What are you getting at?"

"Well, remember how a random hot guy was somehow involved?"

"Yes…and?"

Rachel nodded her head at a man standing over by the memory wall, his back to them. "Well, that's the guy. He's here, Brooke. The random hot guy has shown up, _here_."

Brooke's jaw dropped. "That's him? You're sure?"

Rachel nodded, casting a side-long glance at Jenny, who was listening intently to their conversation.

Brooke took a few steps forward and then gasped as he turned around. She absolutely could not believe that he had shown up here, of all places. It had been over two years since she had last seen him. She kept walking towards him. As she approached, his eyes lit up in recognition.

"Brooke Davis." He greeted her, warmly. "It's been awhile."

Brooke stopped a few feet away from him and crossed her arms. "Julian Baker. Fancy seeing you here."

* * *

**What is Julian doing there? I thought I knew, but I've changed my mind in the last 24 hours...writing's a funny thing, isn't it? **

**Next time, more will be revealed. Keep reading and reviewing please and thank you! :)**


	16. Away

** Hey, all. Sorry I'm a little late with this update. I had a bit of writer's block but I think I'm back on track again. A little shorter, but I hope you like it. I had lots of questions after the last chapter, so I'm going to answer them below because everytime I try and PM, my computer does weird things.**

**Oh, and I haven't mentioned that I don't own One Tree Hill. **

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**Chapter 16 – Away**

"_I remember the way. Driving home late, speeding all the way, alone in the rain. I was rehearsing a part, from down at the bar. My mouth smelled like a drink. We were laughing, I think. I've been away..." – Kathleen Edwards_

He shouldn't have come.

It was a bad idea; a catastrophically bad idea that only led to him getting hurt. Again. But he wanted closure. He needed to say good-bye. Maybe he still carried some guilt with him and was hoping for redemption. Instead, she had managed to wound him like she had always done and she was dead, goddamn it! How come she still had this hold over him? He should have stayed away, far away in California where he belonged.

He leaned against the unforgiving brick wall outside of Tric and breathed in and out, trying to collect himself. His mind was racing at a hundred miles a minute. He prided himself on being able to mask his feelings, maintain control over any situation. That's what made him a good producer: the ability to get people to do what he wanted them to do, when he wanted them to do it – but in a way that made him look like the good guy. This time, it was he who had faltered. He was the one who had been surprised.

He didn't belong; he wasn't welcome. Brooke had made that much obvious. He had seen the look on her face as she approached him. Her eyes held a mixture of astonishment, anger and the flicker of another emotion he couldn't really identify. Now, as he replayed that moment, he recognized it as fear. Fear? But why? He shook his head –it really didn't matter.

Now, what was he going to do?

He was stuck in this small town out in the middle of nowhere, his head filled with a whole lot of questions he wasn't sure he wanted the answers to. He could hear the music from inside the club. Jake Jagielski was singing – another one of Peyton's exes. He closed his eyes. He needed to get out of here. He was being suffocated by the remnants of her life...her best friend, her past and present lovers, the redhead who'd seen them together in New York...her daughter. Her daughter. A thought occurred to him, but he brushed it aside and stared up at the sky. The clouds were heavy; it looked like rain.

It was too much. He had to get the hell out of here.

He walked briskly across the parking lot to the car he'd rented. He wasn't sure where he was going – he just needed to drive and to think about all of this.

* * *

_Julian walked in to the club – Tric. The place Peyton had spoken of so much; it was a place she had created. She'd always talked about bringing him to Tree Hill to show him where she had grown up, but they never did make the trip. He felt a pang of regret that he finally got to see the place she was so proud of – without her by his side. He stood in the doorway, not sure what to do. A young girl was singing on-stage and people milled around, listening to the music, or talking amongst themselves in subdued voices. As he gazed around the room, Julian realized he didn't recognize anyone. His heart sank – not one of Peyton's so-called friends from L.A. bothered to make the trip. Although, what did he expect – she'd been away for two years, living in the sticks with the good professor._

_He felt conspicuous just standing there, so he wandered over to a wall where people had written some messages – a memory wall. He read some of the messages, looked at some of the photos people had posted. He smiled, looking at how young and happy she looked – the way she looked when they were together. His smile faded as he thought of the last time he had seen her. It was like she was a completely different person .He turned away – it was too painful to look at the beautiful girl in the pictures and compare her to the embittered, broken woman she had become. The woman she became because of him. Julian sighed and looked down at the ground. He raised his head and noticed a beautiful brunette approaching him. Julian smiled; glad to finally see a familiar face. His relief was so great; he didn't notice the expression on her face, at first. _

"_Brooke Davis." He greeted her, warmly. "It's been awhile."_

_Brooke stopped a few feet away from him and crossed her arms. "Julian Baker. Fancy seeing you here." _

_Realizing she wasn't going to move any closer, he took a few steps towards Brooke, his arms spread out slightly to give her a hug. Then, he noticed the expression on her face. When he and Peyton were together, he'd rarely seen Brooke without a smile. Even though Julian knew that Brooke didn't completely trust him, she was never openly hostile towards him. His smile faded and he lowered his arms. Something was going on – had Peyton told her? He took a deep breath. "Why wouldn't I be here, Brooke?"_

_Brooke bit her lip and looked away from him. "I don't know," she answered, softly. "You guys broke up a long time ago."_

_Julian frowned. "You know I loved her."_

_She shook her head, but remained silent. She didn't know anything. Brooke struggled to figure out what she wanted to say to him. It was hard, because she had no idea what happened between him and Peyton. All she knew was that he had dumped Peyton sometime before Lucas showed up on her doorstep and proposed to her. It could have been six months, six weeks, six days, six hours – Brooke was clueless. Then, nearly two years later, Rachel spotted them arguing at a nightclub in New York and Peyton disappeared for a week._

_She cast a side-long glance at Rachel, who just shrugs, helplessly. Brooke's lips nearly twisted into a smile as she thinks that for once, Rachel was at a complete loss for words. She glanced back at Julian and opened her mouth to say something, anything to end the awkward silence; but his eyes were no longer fixed on her._

_Julian froze when he saw her; a tall redhead who seemed vaguely familiar. His eyes met hers; they mirrored Brooke's astonishment...but unlike Brooke, her eyes held a challenge. He remembered her: the girl who had rushed up to make sure Peyton was okay that night in New York. The girl Peyton had told to fuck off. That night; that goddamned night. _

_Brooke beckoned Rachel over with a tilt of her head. Rachel smirked at Julian's reaction. He obviously remembered her. Brooke plastered a 1000-watt smile on her face as she introduced them. "Julian Baker, this is Rachel Gatina." Jenny, who is still clinging tightly to Rachel, cleared her throat, frowning slightly. Brooke's smile softened as she looked down at the young girl. "And this is Jenny Jagielski." _

_Julian smiled at Jenny, but it looks more like a grimace. Brooke raises an eyebrow. So the mask is slipping..._

"_You look very familiar to me." Rachel said, tapping her chin with a perfectly manicured fingertip . "Have we met somewhere before? Maybe in passing?"_

_Julian smirked slightly, as he regained his bearings. The redhead was messing with him. "Could be...although I think I'd remember someone as smoking hot as you."_

_Brooke rolled her eyes, while Jenny gaped at each of the adults. She didn't really know what was going on, but she found it extremely interesting._

_Rachel flipped her long red hair back over her shoulder. "Yes, I think I do remember seeing you...at a club in New York City. Vibe, I believe." She furrowed her brow in mock confusion. "I think it was about a year ago or so..." Rachel snapped her fingers. "Eleven months ago, to be precise. Right before Christmas. It's all coming back to me, now." Rachel leaned forward slightly and smiled wickedly. "And it's no wonder you're having trouble remembering me...you definitely seem to prefer blondes." Rachel turned to Jenny. "Come on, sweetie. Let's go find a seat close to the stage. Your dad should be singing soon and I can't wait to see the famous Jake Jagielski performing live in concert." She gave Brooke's arm a squeeze as they walked away._

_Brooke stood perfectly still for a moment. Eleven months ago. Eleven months ago? She took a step backwards. She quickly did the math in her head. Sawyer was just over two months old...she had been born in September; it was now November. And she had been on time – one of the few babies who was actually born on her due date. "Eleven months ago? You saw Peyton eleven months ago? Did you...did she...did you guys..." she whispered, unable to complete the sentence._

_Julian stared at Brooke. He was still reeling from the confrontation or whatever you wanted to call it with Rachel. Now, Brooke looked like she was about to faint...as she asked him about New York. Julian heaved a sigh. Obviously, Peyton hadn't confided in Brooke about what had happened. He remained silent, and stared at the floor. He didn't trust himself to speak._

_Brooke slowly nodded. His silence spoke volumes. They had met in New York, they had fought, they had made up. Peyton had disappeared for a week. With Julian. And Luke had no idea. Brooke swallowed hard, as she cast a glance over to where Luke stood, holding Sawyer and talking to Nathan. He met her gaze and smiled, but it quickly faded as his eyes darted back and forth between Brooke and Julian. Oh no. He was coming over, Nathan following close behind. _

_Julian looked up, as he saw the Scott brothers approaching them. Nathan, the tall dark-haired basketball star and Peyton's first boyfriend...and his brother. Lucas – the one who rescued her time and time again. The one that consumed Peyton's every thought; especially after that stupid book was published. They were looking at him quizzically – they had no idea who he was. Julian smirked. Ironic, considering he knew almost everything about them; especially Lucas. _

_Lucas drew up beside Brooke, his brow furrowed with concern. "Hey, Cheery...everything okay?" he asked Brooke as his glance darted over towards Julian._

_Brooke just smiled weakly and nodded. Julian noticed Nathan standing on Brooke's other side. Nathan was staring at him coldly, and Julian felt intimidated by the taller man. But, he wasn't about to give the dumb jock the satisfaction. He met Nathan's gaze, silently challenging him. After a couple of seconds, Nathan nodded curtly and crossed his arms._

_His veins were coursing with the anger and jealousy he always felt when he thought about Lucas Scott. He took a deep breath as he met Lucas' eyes. They were calm, and somewhat guarded...but not unwelcoming. Julian couldn't take it anymore. How could the bastard be so calm, so smug? Julian felt like his head was going to explode, but Lucas Scott just stood there, cool and collected, holding a baby like it was just another day. Wait a second...baby?_

_Julian stared at the baby Lucas held in his arms. The baby was so small...was it Peyton's? Had Peyton actually gone and had a baby with Lucas? After everything she had told him last December, she'd had a baby? He tore his gaze away from the baby and looked at Brooke. "Is this Peyton's baby?" he asked, hoarsely._

_Brooke just bit her lip and slowly nodded. "Her daughter." She whispered._

_Julian took a deep breath and turned away. He couldn't be here anymore. It had been a huge mistake. Without another word, he turned and walked rapidly towards the exit. As he moved away, he heard an exchange between Brooke and Lucas._

"_Who was that?" Lucas was asking Brooke._

"_That was Julian."_

"_Who's Julian?"_

_Julian felt a searing pain in his chest. Peyton had never told Lucas about him. Julian had been consumed with the guy, trying to compete with him for years...and Lucas had no idea he existed. He kept walking, pushing through the heavy metal door and down the steps towards the parking lot. He turned a corner and leaned against the building as he was struck with the realization: he had meant nothing to Peyton. Nothing at all._

* * *

He found himself at a seedy bar on the outskirts of town. The Blue Post. He grimaced, remembering it from that book Lucas wrote. The book that had torn them apart. He hated that stupid book. He went inside. It was dark and dingy; he recoiled slightly. This wasn't like the hip, shiny clubs he was used to. It was a fucking dive; but somehow, it seemed appropriate that he ended up here. Since it was still early, the place was practically deserted. He walked up to the bar and ordered a shot of whiskey, telling the bartender to leave the bottle. The first shot burned, the second shot numbed him and the third shot soothed him. He poured a fourth shot and sat contemplating it.

How did he end up here in this dead-end town drinking himself stupid in a sleazy bar? No matter what point he began at, it always led him back to her. Back to the woman who had broken him. Always back to her…back to Peyton Sawyer.

* * *

_"Do You think that I've changed? I swear I never tried. Memory is a terrible thing; when you use it right. I was rehearsing a part, from down at the bar. My mouth smelled like drink. We were laughing, I think. I've been away...I've been away...I've been away."_

**I know, it was a little short, wasn't it? I have a bit of trouble writing from Julian's p.o.v. since I stopped watching OTH after season 5 so I don't really know his character. I'm trusting some of you Julian fans to help me out if I'm getting off-track. :)**

**I used to love this show so much...and then - blah. I mean, Lucas and Peyton? Seriously? I know shit went down between the actors who played Lucas and Brooke; but Peyton is just so...annoying. Impossible to buy into. Anyway, enough ranting. Back to questions.**

**Who is Sawyer's father? **I am leaning in a definite direction, now. Last week, I was waffling severely. I can say that it isn't Luke or Jake and it won't be a "random dude." I am still open to my second possibility, but I think I am going to just see where the writing takes me. I do have an endgame in mind; I'm just not 100% sure how I'm going to get there.

**Are Lucas and Brooke together forever? **Yes, I think so. I hope that doesn't make the story boring for you all, now. But it will not be easy for them; they've got a lot to figure out. Naley are also together, and I definetely like the Jake/Rachel combo.

**I killed Peyton off because I despise her character. Of all the characters in the series, she has shown the least amount of personal growth and I just don't get why everyone runs around catering to her every whim. I just didn't feel like writing her - she would have been a source of tension, but I think it's almost more fun that everyone's finding out just how fucked up she was, now that she's dead. And, as her secrets come tumbling out, will B & L be able to keep it together or will they allow her to keep hold of her power over them...from beyond the grave (insert spooky laughter, here.)? **

**Don't worry, no ghosts will be showing up. Anyway, I'm off to start on chapter 17. I won't make any promises as to when I'll get it up, sooner rather than later, hopefully.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing - you guys are truly awesome. I sincerely mean that. Until next time...**


	17. Love is a Long Road

**Hey, all. I only got two reviews on my last chapter, but still lots of hits, so I'm not sure if that means it was awesome, sucky or just plain "meh." Hopefully, this chapter will make up for it. Please keep the feedback coming – I love it...and it really does help whenever I'm stuck.**

**Special thanks to**_** Princesakarlita**_** and **_**sparklefantastic**_** for their comments. **

**Chapter 17 – Love Is a Long Road**

_"Some things are hard to give up. Some things are hard to let go. Some things are never enough. I guess I only can hope for maybe one more chance to try and save my soul. But love is a long road. Yeah, love is a long, long road." – Tom Petty_

_Earlier that day_

_"Who was that?" Lucas asked Brooke curiously, as Julian walked away from them._

_Brooke exhaled slowly and braced herself. Nathan, Jake, Lucas, Julian...all they needed was the guy from Fall-Out Boy to show up and Peyton's parade of lovers would be complete. "That was Julian."_

_Lucas raised his eyebrows. "Who's Julian?" he asked in the same curious tone._

_Brooke turned towards Lucas and stared at him, her eyes widened in disbelief. How could he not know who Julian was? Peyton had only been with the guy for two years! They'd even lived together. Oh...She raised her hand to her mouth. Shit. Peyton never told Luke about Julian._

_"Who's Julian?" Lucas asked again, his blue eyes filled with confusion and worry. She could tell that he was getting a little freaked by her reaction._

_Nathan stood next to his brother, smirking slightly. "Yeah, who was that guy? He totally had a stick up his ass."_

_She hated being put in this position. _Damn it, Peyton! _Brooke exhaled deeply. "I don't really want to get into it here." She replied quietly, placing her hand on his arm. "It's kind of a long story."_

_Luke's expression darkened and Brooke could see a flash of jealousy in his eyes. "Is he an ex-boyfriend?"_

_Aw, he was jealous. It was kind of sweet. Brooke held back a smile, giving his arm a reassuring squeeze. "Well, yeah. But he's not my ex...He's Peyton's."_

_Lucas' expression relaxed and he almost smiled. "Peyton's ex? When did she date him?"_

_Brooke bit her lip and hesitated. Not only did she have to explain that there was a possibility that Julian may be Sawyer's biological father; she also had to explain exactly who he was and what a large role he played in Peyton's life. Luke probably thought he was some fling – but Brooke knew he meant much more than that to Peyton. She looked up at Luke and straightened his tie. "Let's talk about all of that later, Broody."_

_"Okay, Cheery...later." He smiled at her, but she could tell by the solemn expression in his eyes that he was thinking about the odd encounter with Julian and analyzing her reaction to his appearance. Sawyer began fussing a little, so Lucas gently handed her over to Brooke and put an arm around her shoulders. Sawyer quieted down almost immediately. "See? She just missed her godmother."_

_"And rightly so." Brooke smiled up at him, trying not to think about what would happen if Sawyer really was Julian's daughter. In the last few days, Sawyer had stolen a large part of her heart – Brooke had fallen head over heels for the baby girl. She couldn't imagine life without her...and she didn't want to imagine life without her. Strange how quickly bonds could be formed between people, creating families even if they weren't blood-related. Brooke wondered why her own mother hadn't felt this way about her – and Victoria had actually given birth to her._

_She gave herself a mental shake, noticing Lucas staring at her thoughtfully. Brooke knew very well that Lucas would bring Julian up again later. He could read her all too well. He knew something was going on and as much as he went on about how stubborn she was, Lucas Scott could be just as obstinate. She smiled at him, reassuringly and he put his arm around her and kissed her on the top of her head. Brooke leaned against him and pushed aside her worries about Julian. At this moment in time, she had everything she ever wanted...and she wanted to enjoy it as long as it lasted._

Brooke sighed and dramatically flopped down beside Haley on the large sofa in the family room. "I'm wiped, Tutor-Mom." The wake had finished a couple of hours ago, but Brooke and Lucas had only just returned from dropping Sawyer off with Karen, Andy and Lily for the night.

"Try lugging around a massive belly full of baby and we'll talk." Haley answered, drily.

"Come on, Prego. Let's get you comfy." Brooke got up and arranged the cushions so Haley's back was supported. "Now, put your feet up on my lap."

"Brooke, you don't have to..." Haley protested.

"Zip it – I'm giving you a foot rub and you'll like it. Your husband told me you like them better than sex at this point. Besides, Luke and I have invaded your house bringing all kinds of drama with us. Sawyer's even taken over Brooke Junior's bedroom. I think a foot rub is the least I can do." Brooke said, firmly as she pulled the oversized slippers Haley was wearing off her feet. "Why are you wearing Nate's slippers?"

"Don't even." Haley said, shortly.

Brooke bit her lip, trying not to laugh. She'd forgotten that feet were a sensitive subject with Haley. She decided to change the subject. "Just think – in twelve days, Brooke Junior will be here. I just know she's going to be an independent free spirit - much like another famous Brooke you know and love."

Haley nodded thoughtfully. "You're right. I think I'm going to take your advice and name her after my favourite Brooke...Brooke Shields."

Brooke's jaw dropped. "You'd name your baby after Brooke Shields?!? That's so 1980s!" she exclaimed indignantly, until she caught sight of Haley's shoulders shaking with silent laughter. "There you go teasing me again, Tutor-Mom." She pouted.

Haley grinned. "It's just too easy, Tigger." She yawned. "That feels so nice, Brooke. I could so go for a nap right after dinner."

Brooke smiled. "A nap would be perfect...after Luke and I take a nice relaxing soak in your hot-tub."

Haley groaned. "Ewww! No, absolutely not. I know what you two do in hot tubs and I won't have you befouling mine."

"Oh, like you and Nathan haven't –"

"Not another word, Brooke." Haley warned her.

"You mean to tell me you guys have lived in this house for over a year and you never got your freak on in the hot tub?" Brooke laughed.

"Auntie Brooke, what does 'get your freak on' mean?"

Brooke turned and saw Jamie standing in the doorway of the room, looking at her curiously. She winced and looked at Haley for help.

"You're on your own, Tigger. I tried to warn you..." Haley swallowed a smile and tried to look disapproving.

Brooke shot her a dirty look before plastering a smile on her face for Jamie's benefit. "Um...it's kind of hard to explain."

Jamie cocked his head to the side. "Is this something I'll find out about when I'm older?"

Brooke exhaled, relieved. The kid was giving her an out. Thank god. "Yup, when you're really old – like thirty."

Jamie wrinkled his nose. "That's pretty old. Mom, Dad says dinner's ready."

"Jamie, tell your dad that you guys are going to eat in here tonight. Your Mom's too tired to move." Brooke got up from the couch.

Jamie jumped up and down. "Yay!" he bellowed running back down the hallway to the kitchen. "Dad! Auntie Brooke says we can watch the Lakers game while we eat!"

"Brooke, we don't eat in front of the TV in this house." Haley hissed as she heard Nathan asking Jamie if he was sure his mother didn't mind.

Brooke shrugged. "Okay. Then get up and go to the kitchen and tell them that."

Haley sighed, frustration. "I can't get up without help anymore." She pouted.

Brooke leaned down and gave Haley a kiss on the top of her head. "It's okay. I still think you're fabulous. I'm going upstairs to change. Enjoy dinner with your family."

"Brooke Davis!" Haley said sharply.

"What did I do now?" Brooke sighed. Pregnant women were so hormonal.

"Thank you." Haley said, softly.

"For what?"

"For everything, what else?"

"No problem, Mama Scott." Brooke smiled at her friend and turned to leave.

"But, this doesn't mean I'm giving you and Luke permission to get it on in my hot tub." Haley called after her, sternly.

"What are they getting on, Mommy?" Brooke's covered her mouth to smother her giggles as she heard Jamie asking his mother a very awkward question. She didn't stick around to hear Haley's response. Instead she ran down the hall and halfway up the stairs before the laughter tumbled from her lips.

* * *

Lucas stood in front of the mirror in the room he was sharing with Brooke. He'd already ditched the suit he wore to the funeral and was only wearing a pair of worn jeans. He found himself examining his injuries from the accident. The cut on his forehead was healing nicely, but there would be a permanent scar. Brooke thought it would make him look dangerous, in a sexy way. The bruises on his right side were slowly starting to fade. He lifted his arm and turned slightly. The marks on his back were still pretty dark and his back ached slightly. He noted some scratches on his upper back that didn't come from the accident and smirked. He and Brooke hadn't slept much the past few nights between tending to Sawyer and making the most of the little time they got to themselves. Luke was relieved that Sawyer was with his mom tonight. He wanted time alone with Brooke – now that Peyton was laid to rest, they had some things they needed to figure out.

Lucas knew he wanted to be with Brooke. He knew he needed her; like he needed to breathe, eat and sleep. He wouldn't have gotten through the last week without her. And, he meant what he said; he was not letting her go, again. No matter what.

He looked up as he heard the door open behind him. A smile spread across his lips as he saw Brooke enter the room, her cheeks flushed, with a wide grin on her face. She shut the bedroom door behind her and leaned against it. She sighed and leaned her head back, closing her eyes, momentarily, still chuckling. Lucas couldn't help grinning as his eyes roamed her figure. She was wearing a black knee-length pencil skirt and a short-sleeved forest green silk blouse. Her long chestnut hair was pulled back from her face in a low ponytail - mainly because Sawyer had a habit of grasping locks of Brooke's hair when it was loose. She looked breath-taking, even though she had spent more time selecting an outfit for Sawyer that morning than for herself. His pretty, pretty girl – no matter what happened, she always was and would always be his.

"So, what's so funny, Cheery?" he asked, making his way over to where she stood.

She shook her head and opened her eyes which were still dancing with laughter. "Just teaching Jamie alternate terms for 'making babies.' Oh, and we've been banned from 'getting it on' in the hot tub, by order of Haley."

Lucas laughed and pulled her into his arms. "Well, we don't have to go in the hot tub to 'get it on', you know." He raised his eyebrows at her significantly and leaned down to kiss her neck.

She gasped slightly, as he not-so-gently bit that spot on her neck below her right ear. "God, you're insatiable."

"You love it." He whispered in her ear. He drew back, noticing that her smile had faded slightly and her eyes were filled with worry. Luke gently stroked her cheek, tracing the outline of her jaw. "Hey...why the brooding? That's my job."

She opened her eyes and smiled at him. Ah, there it was: the dazzling smile, and those famous dimples. He peered into her eyes, noticing how the blouse she wore brought out the green flecks of colour in her irises. He wanted nothing more than to stare all night into those amazing eyes but he could see they were troubled.

"Maybe after all these years, you're finally rubbing off on me, Boyfriend." Brooke replied, in a soft voice.

Lucas could tell that something was weighing on her mind – and it was big. He sighed and took her hand, leading her over to the edge of the bed. They sat down, and Lucas put his arm around her. "Tell me what's on your mind, Pretty Girl. I can tell something's worrying you. You haven't been yourself since that Julian-guy showed up at the wake."

"There's a lot you don't know about Peyton and obviously you know nothing about Julian." Brooke sighed, in irritation. "Damn it, Luke, she should have been telling you all of this. Not me."

Luke echoed her sigh. "She never really told me anything...obviously. I have no idea what happened during her life in L.A. But, I guess I'm right in thinking that Julian wasn't a casual fling?"

"It's kind of a long story..." Brooke leaned her head on his shoulder and he inhaled the scent of her vanilla shampoo.

"We've got time." Luke leaned his head on top of hers and squeezed her closer to him, if that was possible.

"Julian was the first guy Peyton fully let in after you guys split up...She had a lot of problems, Luke. She was unhappy with her career, she started partying, and she shut me out." She paused, nervously toying with the edge of her blouse. "It was pretty bad, Luke. She'd stay out all night; I didn't know where she was or who she was with. She had all these new trendy friends that were 'in the business.' I know she was drinking...and I'm pretty sure she was using drugs. I mean, it's L.A.; coke is like candy out there." Brooke sighed sadly and buried her face in her hands. "I wanted to help her, Luke. But I didn't know how. I tried confronting her, talking to her, getting her out of the city...but nothing seemed to work. I couldn't get through to her."

Lucas rubbed her back, soothingly. "I'm sure you did the best you could, Brooke. Peyton was stubborn – you can't blame yourself." He had no idea Peyton had spiralled downward so suddenly. Now, the weird, rambling emails he occasionally received from Peyton in the months after their break-up suddenly made a bit more sense.

Brooke raised her head and rested her chin in her hands. "I got this idea in my head to stage an intervention and have Naley and Mouth and Skills and everyone come out but-"

Lucas looked at her, evenly. "You left my name off that list, Brooke."

Brooke looked away. During that period, she had come close to calling Lucas so many times. She knew he would be there in a heartbeat to rescue Peyton from herself. But, she never did. The one time she tentatively broached the subject with Peyton, it lead to a half-hour screaming match before Peyton stormed off, not returning for 3 days.

"I know." She whispered. She was scared of seeing him, that her feelings would resurface...that Lucas and Peyton would get back together. She was ashamed of herself for feeling this way.

"Why didn't you call me? I would have been there for her, for you – for both of you." He raised her chin with two of his fingers and gently turned her head so she was facing him.

Brooke just shook her head. "Before I could plan the intervention, something unexpected happened – Julian."

Lucas squinted at her. "Julian? What is he, a drug and alcohol counsellor?"

Brooke smiled, slightly. "No, he's a movie producer."

"You're joking." Lucas raised his eyebrows. "That doesn't seem like her type..."

"Just like a lot of people didn't think I was your type." Brooke commented, raising an eyebrow at him. "Anyway, they met at some party and got to talking and one thing lead to another...the next thing I know, they're exclusive. And a few months later, when I left for New York, they moved in together. And she was so happy with him, Luke. It just radiated from her." She smiled sadly at the memory of a laughing Peyton as she cuddled with Julian and fed him tiramisu the night before Brooke left L.A. for good.

Lucas leaned forward and gave Brooke a kiss on the forehead. He couldn't believe that Peyton had been in such a serious relationship and never bothered to tell him...well, actually, he could believe it. And Julian obviously knew all about him – the look of animosity on his face clued him in to that fact. "When did they split up?"

Brooke wrinkled her forehead. "I'm not sure. It was sometime before you two got engaged. But I don't know what happened. She never told me. I mean, she literally went from being madly in love with Julian to being engaged to you within months."

Lucas drew back from Brooke and looked at her questioningly. How many months, he wondered.

Brooke gazed up at him and laughed without humour. "Don't ask. I found out that they'd broken up when she called me to announce her engagement to you." They were both silent for a few minutes. "There's more..." Brooke said, very quietly. She turned and repositioned herself on the bed so they were facing each other.

Lucas frowned. What else could there be? He grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. It seemed as if it physically hurt her to speak right now. Lucas braced himself.

Brooke took a deep breath and held his gaze. "There is the possibility that Julian...that Julian may be Sawyer's biological father."

Lucas sat perfectly still for just a moment. That explained Julian's hasty exit when he laid eyes on Sawyer. But, how? When? He gazed at Brooke, whose eyes were filled with tears. He knew it was hurting her to tell him this. "But, you said they broke up over two years ago; before she and I were engaged. How could he be Sawyer's father?"

Brooke looked down and bit her lip. "There's more..."she whispered softly.

"More?" Luke replied in just as soft a voice.

Brooke nodded, silently. "Eleven months ago, Peyton and Haley came to New York for a visit. I think you were away-"

"I was in London." He interrupted, shortly.

"Well, one night, I had to work and Rachel, Millie, Haley and Peyton went out. The next day, Peyton called me and told me that she had stopped by to get her stuff and that she was on her way to an airport." Brooke recounted her voice barely above a whisper.

"Where did she go? To L.A.?" Lucas asked bitterly.

Brooke shook her head. "She wouldn't say. She told me it wasn't important."

"Does Julian live in L.A.?"

Brooke seemed startled by the question. "Yeah, I think he still lives there."

Luke dropped Brooke's hand and rubbed the back of his neck. "She told me she went to L.A. She said she had unfinished business." He stood up and started pacing the room.

"She told you?"

"No details...but I'm getting a clearer picture, now." Lucas stopped and gazed at Brooke. His eyes narrowed. "Brooke, did you know anything about this?"

Brooke sighed and glanced up at the ceiling. "All I knew was that Rachel saw Peyton arguing with a guy the night they all went out...apparently, Peyton hit him and they got kicked out of the club. She left with him." Brooke hesitated, looking at Lucas. She could see the anger already building in his eyes. "Rachel never met Julian – until today when he showed up at the wake. She recognized him and told me...and when I asked him if he and Peyton...he didn't deny it..." Brooke's voice trailed off, uncertainly.

The colour had drained from Lucas' face. "Why didn't you tell me?" he hissed at her.

Brooke stood up and reached out to touch his arm, instead, he stepped out of her reach. "We didn't know what to do – for all we knew, Peyton just went home! We didn't know who she left with. I only found out today...if I'd known back then-"

Lucas backed away from her. "Who's 'we'? Who else knew about her leaving with Julian? Did Haley know?"

"Luke, it's not important..." Brooke pleaded with him.

"No, Brooke, it matters; it matters to me!" He stalked over to the dresser and pulled open the drawer. "It matters that you didn't tell me about this!" He grabbed a white t-shirt out of the drawer and slammed it shut. "It matters that Haley knew about this; it fucking matters. She's my best friend – she should have told me." He pulled the t-shirt over his head and looked at her, angrily. "And you...you're you...why didn't you tell me, Brooke?"

Brooke had an anguished look in her eyes as silent tears streamed down her face. "Luke, I didn't feel like it was my place to tell you. Ever since you chose Peyton back in senior year, I tried to stay out of your relationship. You two kept going around talking about how you guys were soul mates and that you'd be together forever – she was the girl you wanted standing beside you when all your dreams came true! You broke me, Luke, you and Peyton fucking broke me. Twice!" She yelled at him.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Lucas shouted. "You dumped me, Brooke. You said you didn't miss me anymore."

"I only said that because Peyton told me she was in love with you and I knew I didn't stand a chance." Brooke turned away from him, and took a couple of deep breaths. "I had no idea you still loved me until last Thursday night when you kissed me at the club. I knew things were bad with you and Peyton, but I never thought you would ever come back to me."

"You still should have told me, Brooke. You and Haley should have told me." Lucas repeated, his voice cracking. "I would have done things differently if I had known."

Brooke looked over her shoulder and smiled, sadly. "I wanted you to come back to me because you wanted me...not because you were heartbroken over Peyton."

Lucas sighed and turned his back on her. "I need some time. I'm going out for awhile." He opened the door and walked down the hallway. He had just reached the top of the stairs, when she heard her voice.

"Luke."

He turned, surprised to see her standing a couple feet behind him. "I'm not letting you go, Luke. Never again. And you promised me you were going to hang onto me for dear life." She said, almost fiercely. "I'm holding you to that, Lucas Scott."

Lucas stood still, staring at her in wonder. Brooke Davis was fighting for him. If he wasn't so angry right now, he would pull her into his arms. Instead, he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I just need to think."

Brooke crossed her arms and raised her chin stubbornly. "I will be here. I am not going anywhere."

Lucas turned and jogged down the stairs. As he passed the family room, he heard Haley call out to him.

"Luke! What's going on up there? Are you and Brooke okay?" she asked concerned.

Lucas barely paused. "No, we're not. Thanks to you." He spat out bitterly as he slammed the front door behind him.

Haley and Nathan stared at each other in astonishment. They barely noticed Jamie run out of the room.

"What the hell was that about?" Nathan asked.

Haley slowly shook her head. "I don't know...Nathan, can you-?"

Nathan stood up and kissed his wife on the cheek. "I'm on it." He grabbed his phone and his keys. "Love you, Hales." He called out to her, as he walked out the front door.

"Love you, too." Haley called back, as she struggled to get to her feet. "Goddamn it!" She swore, as she fell back against the cushions.

* * *

Brooke leaned against the wall for support, as Lucas turned his back and left her standing in the upstairs hallway. She let out a sad sigh as she sank to the floor and closed her eyes. She knew he would be upset...but she was taken aback by the intensity of his anger. Brooke wiped the tears from her cheeks. Why was everything always so hard for them?

"Auntie Brooke?" Brooke looked up, surprised. Jamie was standing beside her, looking a little frightened. "Why are you sad? Is it because Uncle Luke is mad?"

Brooke smiled and patted the ground beside her. Jamie sad down beside her and she wrapped her arms around him. "Yeah, Uncle Luke and I had a little argument. But it'll be okay." She hoped...

"I don't like fighting."

"Me neither, buddy."

"I don't like that Uncle Luke made you cry. It's not nice to make people cry." Jamie said forcefully, as he played with Brooke's necklace. "I wish I could make you all happy again."

Brooke smiled and hugged him tighter. "You already are, Jimmy-Jam, you already are."

They were quiet for a couple of minutes until they heard Haley calling to them from downstairs.

Jamie looked up at Brooke. "I think she needs help getting up again." His expression darkened and Brooke's breath was nearly taken away by how closely he resembled his uncle in that moment. "Uncle Luke yelled at her, too."

Brooke got to her feet and pulled her godson to his. "Well, that wasn't nice at all. Let's go see your mom and give her a hand." Brooke frowned as she and Jamie walked down the stairs hand-in-hand. She could understand Luke being hurt – hell, a lot of shit had gone down in the past week. But to take it out on her and Haley when it was all Peyton's doing...Brooke sighed. That was getting to be a bit much. Maybe Nathan could knock some sense into him – not literally, of course...well, maybe just a little.


	18. King of Pain

**Hi! Thanks for the reviews last chapter - much appreciated! I kind of felt like I was getting off track, but I think I got my muse back. I hope you enjoy this installment.**

**(Don't own One Tree Hill.)**

* * *

**Chapter 18 – King of Pain**

_"It's the same old thing as yesterday; I have stood here before inside the pouring rain, with the world turning circles running 'round my brain. I guess I'm always hoping you'll end this reign. But it's my destiny to be the king of pain." – The Police_

"Brooke? Jamie? Could you guys come down, please?" Haley called out. She listened carefully, relaxing when she heard her son and her best friend coming down the stairs.

Haley lay back on the family room couch and closed her eyes. The Lakers game was still blaring on the TV, but she didn't feel like exerting herself to find the remote and shut it off. Not ten minutes ago, she had been enjoying dinner with her husband and son when all hell broke loose.

Nathan had made macaroni and cheese and since she was so tired, they were eating in front of the TV. Her guys were watching the basketball game and she was enjoying their company. Nathan was due to leave early the next morning to rejoin the Charlotte Bobcats. There was one home game in Charlotte, then four away games, then two more at home. The baby was due in twelve days...and Nathan would be in Phoenix. She had memorized the team's schedule as soon as she found out there was another little Scott on the way. She was trying not to think about the possibility that Nathan might not make it home for the birth of their daughter. All she wanted was one last peaceful evening with her husband before he left. Instead...Haley sighed. Instead, dinner was interrupted by an argument and her brother-in-law storming out of the house. Now, she lay alone in the family room as her husband chased after his brother and her son consoled his godmother.

_"Luke! What's going on up there? Are you and Brooke okay?" she asked, concerned._

_Lucas barely paused. "No, we're not. Thanks to you." He spat out bitterly as he slammed the front door behind him._

Brooke and Lucas seemed so happy – what happened? And why the hell was Luke blaming her for their problems? Haley had known Lucas Scott since Kindergarten. He could be the sweetest, most generous and kind-hearted person...but he had that Scott temper and that stubborn streak which made all rational thought go out the window. He could be unbending in his perceptions of a situation. She shook her head and took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. All this excitement could not be good for the baby.

"Mommy, I found Auntie Brooke." Jamie crawled up on the couch and curled up beside her. "Uncle Luke made her cry."

Haley put an arm around Jamie and gave him a kiss on the top of his head. "I'm glad you're looking out for Brooke. You're a sweet boy." Jamie made a face at the word 'sweet' and crawled off the couch, and grabbed the remote. He flipped channels until he found some cartoons. Haley looked up at the distraught brunette standing in front of her. "Are you okay, Tigger?"

Brooke nodded and gave her a shaky smile. "I think so. Did Nathan go after him?"

"Of course. He won't get too far without a car to drive." Haley smirked.

In spite of herself, Brooke let out a small laugh. She sat down beside Haley and rested her head on her shoulder. "He's mad that we knew Peyton took off with that random guy and didn't tell him."

Haley groaned. "I knew this would come back to bite me in the ass. I thought we weren't going to tell him because we didn't know the whole story – including who the random dude was."

"What if I told you the random dude showed up at the wake today and he turned out not to be a random dude at all? That he was Peyton's ex-boyfriend?" Brooke asked, pensively. "And that he might be Sawyer's father?"

"Oh, no..." Haley sighed and rested her head on top of Brooke's. "Does he know about Sawyer?"

"No. But he sure doesn't like Luke." Brooke let out another humourless laugh. "And until today, Luke had no idea this guy even existed. He says if we had told him what happened with Peyton last winter, he would have done things differently. He was really hung up on the fact that we didn't tell him."

Haley shook her head. "We didn't know what was going on."

"I know that, you know that, Rachel knows that. Luke doesn't quite get that, though. He's just too scared and stubborn and angry to be thinking straight. That damn Scott temper." Brooke sighed in frustration.

"Keeping it from him seemed like a good idea at the time..." Haley offered.

Brooke raised her head and smiled at her friend. "Oh, Tutor-Mom, you were the one who wanted to come clean. I should have listened to you."

"Brooke, we agreed that I could tell him whatever I thought was best." Haley twirled a lock of hair around her finger. "He called me from London three days later asking about the trip because he hadn't heard from Peyton. I had the perfect chance to tell him and I didn't. That's probably why he's so upset."

Brooke grabbed Haley's hand and squeezed it, reassuringly. Not telling Luke did seem like a good idea at the time...although if she had known how fucked-up it was going to get, would she have done things differently? Brooke wondered.

* * *

_11 Months Ago – New York City_

_"So...what do we tell him?" Haley asked in a tentative voice._

_Haley, Brooke and Rachel had gotten dressed up and gone out for dinner at an impossibly trendy restaurant serving Asian-fusion cuisine. They had just finished their appetizers, and were drinking some cocktails as they waited for their meals to be served. Although they tried to avoid talking about it, the whole Peyton situation was weighing on them – in completely different ways. Haley was worried about Lucas; Brooke was trying to avoid thinking about it and Rachel was nearly rapturous as she awaited Peyton's karmic payback for being such a backstabbing bitch._

_Brooke looked up at her friend and scrunched her nose. "What do we tell who what, now?" she asked, as she slurped the last of her drink through a straw. She was drinking something called a Viva Diva – she wasn't sure exactly what it was, but it went down easy. She'd already knocked back three of them and was feeling no pain._

_An exasperated expression briefly crossed Haley's features. "Brooke, maybe you should slow down a little. We need to sort this out."_

_"Uh-uh." Brooke shook her head vigorously. "You guys got to go out last night while I was toiling and slaving away at the office designing wedding gowns for a twenty-year-old actress who's probably gonna get divorced in six months. You had your turn, Hales. It's Brookie's time to shine. Besides, I'm drinking for two since Millie is home sick." Brooke set her empty glass down on the table and raised her hand to signal the waiter. "Waiter! Over here! We need more alcohol and beers!"_

_Rachel started laughing and pulled down Brooke's arm. "That's one way to ensure he waters down our drinks or spits in our food." Even Haley giggled, although she tried to look disapproving._

_Brooke smiled, her dimples deepening. "He wouldn't dare. He wants a good tip. Plus he needs to keep bringing me the drinks, so I can forget all the mean things Tutor-Mom said earlier."_

_Haley's eyes widened, indignantly. "What mean things?"_

_Brooke chewed on her bottom lip and squinted, as though she was concentrating very hard on something. "I don't remember. Oh, wait. I do. She said _Sex and the City_ was stupid."_

_"No! She didn't!" Rachel gasped in mock horror._

_Haley threw up her hands. "I did not. I just said that episode was stupid."_

_Brooke shrugged, and took a sip of Rachel's martini. "It was the one where Carrie cheats on Aiden with Mr. Big. Tutor-Mom thinks that Carrie should have married Aiden and lived in his country cabin in the muck with no TV or internet or anything. And his terrible mullet."_

_"Mrs. Scott! How could you?" Rachel winked at Haley, as she pried her martini away from Brooke and signalled the waiter for another round._

_Haley groaned and propped her elbows up on the table, resting her chin in her hands. "I guess I'm just evil."_

_Brooke smiled widely at the waiter as he brought her a new drink and she took a long sip. In truth, she was still thinking about what Haley had said about Lucas and Peyton earlier. About them being unhappy...and implying that Lucas would actually drop everything to be with her...if she just told him she loved him. Haley had to be wrong – Lucas wanted Peyton, he always did. And if he felt that way, he certainly never showed it. Brooke shook those thoughts away and returned to the business of getting plastered._

_"Brooke, you know very well what I'm talking about. You're not that wasted, yet." Haley said, reproachfully._

_Brooke flashed a wide grin at Haley and took another long sip of her drink. "Maybe not, but I'll get there soon enough!" she exclaimed in a cheerful tone._

_Haley and Rachel exchanged a glance across the table._

_"Honestly, Haley, I don't think it's any of our business. If Goldilocks and Lucass are having problems, let them sort it out. They're the king and queen of Dramaland; they've got plenty of practice." Rachel commented._

_Brooke forced herself to keep smiling even though her cheeks were starting to ache. Why were they still talking about this? She'd made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with Lucas and Peyton's fucked-up relationship. She was trying to move on, damn it! Brooke stirred her drink, stabbing at a lump of slushy ice with her straw. She couldn't help feeling a small twinge of satisfaction at the image of a less than entirely rosy relationship for the golden couple. But, that feeling was pushed aside when she thought of how hurt Lucas would be if Peyton really was cheating on him. Even though Lucas had torn her heart into a million pieces, she didn't want to see him broken. Like he had broken her._

_Brooke took another long sip of her drink and sighed deeply. She still cared about Luke; a large part of her still belonged to him. She would never really be able to move on._

_She still loved him._

_She was still in love with him._

_'God, I am so fucked,' she thought to herself, as she polished off her drink. Maybe it was best not to think of it, right now. Soon the weekend would be over, Haley would go home and Brooke could occupy herself with work. Everything would go back to normal and she could shove all of this inner turmoil back into the recesses of her mind. Until then...Brooke reached across the table and helped herself to Haley's beer._

_"Brooke!" Haley exclaimed, in annoyance._

_Brooke smiled sweetly and took a sip. "You drank more than enough last night, Tutor-Mom. And you've only had like two sips of this. It was going to waste." She ignored the look of concern in Haley's eyes and had another sip._

_Rachel rolled her eyes at Brooke's antics. "Don't worry, I'll order you another one, Haley. Pace yourself, Dimples. You can't hold your liquor like you used to."_

_Haley sighed. "Anyway, like I was saying...I know we probably shouldn't interfere; but Luke's my best friend and my brother-in-law. I feel like it's kind of my business." She leaned forward. "If one of you saw Nathan leaving a club with a random hot girl, I'd want you to tell me."_

_"I don't know, Momma-bear. It's not like you or Brooke saw what happened – I did. I doubt he'd believe anything I had to say. He knows I'm on Team Brooke. Besides, sweet innocent St. Peyton would never do such a thing. She's sooo perfect." Rachel said in a mocking tone, as Haley and Brooke giggled, in spite of themselves. "Besides, we don't have the whole story. I mean, I think they probably did go off somewhere and fuck their brains out, but we have no proof."_

_"What about when she called Brooke to say she was on her way to the airport?" Haley demanded._

_Rachel scoffed. "What are you going to do – call Luke in London and tell him his fiancée went to an airport? That's all you know at this point. Maybe she went home to listen to her crappy music and draw her depressing pictures."_

_The trio was silent for a moment, as they considered Rachel's words. Haley took her beer back from Brooke and downed the last drops._

_"I don't know what to do." Haley finally said. She looked at Brooke intently. "What do you think, Brooke?"_

_Brooke bit her lip, her fake smile fading for the first time that evening. "I need to stay out of this, Haley." She replied, softly. "I am not going to tell what to do; I think you should do what you think is best. I'm not going to get tangled up in this mess. I can't." Brooke quickly looked away, as she felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes._

_Haley leaned across the table and squeezed Brooke's hand."Okay, Tigger. I'm sorry...the subject is closed."_

_Rachel placed her hand on top of Haley's. "For good. Now, let's get some more drinks."_

* * *

Lucas stood halfway down the driveway leading to his brother's house. He'd stormed out of the house before remembering that he didn't have a car, here. His beloved red Mustang was still in Raleigh. He couldn't very well go back inside and ask Nathan or Haley if he could borrow one of their cars after yelling at them. Lucas sighed and looked down at his right arm, still encased in a cast. Well, he couldn't drive with a broken arm, anyway. So, he stood in the middle of his brother's driveway feeling like an idiot.

"You sure as hell didn't get very far."

Luke turned at the sound of Nathan's voice. He was smirking, but Lucas could see the anger in his icy blue eyes. He knew that Nate was pissed at him for ruining his last night at home before heading back to join his team. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Nate, I'm sorry –"

"It's not me you need to apologize to." Nathan cut him off. "My wife's very cranky, very tired and very pregnant. You're supposed to be here to watch over her when I'm gone, to help her out. Not adding to her stress and yelling at her about random shit." Nathan walked over to the edge of the driveway and leaned against a tree. "And, don't get me started on Brooke. She's been there for you, Luke. She's always been loyal to you and loved you so much – I think that woman would literally do anything to protect you. And, I'm not sure you even deserve it." Nathan crossed his arms and stared down his older brother. "Want to tell me what's going on?"

Lucas nodded and shuffled over to where his brother stood. He leaned against the tree as well, gazing up at the stars. It had rained earlier, but it was perfectly clear now. "Remember that Julian-guy from the wake?"

"Yeah, the one that looked like he wanted to punch you?"

Lucas sighed. "Yeah, him. He might be Sawyer's father – her real father."

Nathan looked at him sympathetically. "You're her real father. You've been there since she was born."

"I'm scared shitless, Nate. What if takes her away from us…from me and Brooke?"

"Does he know he might be Sawyer's father?"

"I don't know." Lucas shrugged.

"Was that what you and Brooke were fighting about? Because, it sure sounded like you guys were arguing over your break-up in senior year. Not that I was eavesdropping, but you guys were yelling pretty loudly." Nathan glanced over at his brother, who was squinting up at the sky, with a thoughtful look on his face.

"No…but it always seems to come back to that." Lucas plucked a leaf off the tree and absent-mindedly toyed with it. "Remember that trip Haley and Peyton took to see Brooke before Christmas last year?"

Nathan nodded, chuckling. "The one where my beautiful bride got completely bombed doing tequila shots with Rachel? Yeah, I heard about it. Why?"

"Peyton disappeared with a guy. Rachel saw her leave a club with him. Haley and Brooke knew about it and they didn't bother to tell me." Lucas replied, bitterly.

Nathan was quiet for a minute. "Why does it matter? You weren't in love with Peyton, or so you claim."

"It just matters, Nate. If I had known, I would have left. When I got home from London, I would have turned around and walked out that door. Maybe I wouldn't have come back from London at all. I would have –"

"Coulda, should, woulda. You can't change the past, Luke. Just like you can't go back in time and erase that kiss Peyton gave you in the library. Just like you can't stop Dan from pulling the trigger and shooting Uncle Keith. Just like you can't change the fact that you and Brooke spent six years pining after each other, but you were both too stubborn to admit it." Nathan sighed. "Sometimes, I get so pissed at you, Luke. Brooke is here, she loves you. Hell, she's even being a mom to Sawyer. I don't get why you're mad at her or Hales for not telling you that Peyton was a whore. For some stupid reason, they both love you and want to protect you. How terrible for you."

Lucas was silent as he considered his brother's words. Nathan was right. Why couldn't he let go of the past? Maybe it was the Scott curse Nathan spoke of on occasion...he should be happy that his Pretty Girl was back in his arms; not fighting with her. She was just as terrified as he was about the possibility of losing Sawyer. He knew that she had come to regard that baby as her own over the last few days. Brooke Davis had the most loving heart of anyone he had ever known. It finally clicked; everything she did was because she wanted him to be happy...because she loved him.

"I am such an ass." Lucas whispered.

"I can't argue with that." Nathan responded.

Lucas punched him in the arm. "I'm going back inside. I've got some apologizing to do."

"Good. Now I can spend a pleasant evening with my wife and son, instead of dealing with your stupidity." Nathan shot back. "Can we please keep the drama to a minimum?"

"I think so." Lucas replied, smiling at his brother.

They both looked up as a taxicab pulled up at the end of the driveway.

"Are you expecting someone?" Luke asked.

Nathan shook his head. "No. Did you or Brooke invite anyone over?"

"Nope." Lucas shrugged, as they watched as a drunken male figured stumbled out of the car and started weaving his way up the driveway towards them. It was dark enough out to make it hard to see who it was.

Nathan scowled and took a few steps forward. "Hey! Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?"

The drunk started laughing. "Man, I always knew you jocks were dumb, but I didn't realize how dense you guys truly were." The man turned and the light from the garage illuminated his face. Both Lucas and Nathan froze as they recognized Julian. "You saw me like, what? Three, maybe four hours ago and you've already forgotten me. Maybe you should wear a helmet or something on the football field."

"I play basketball." Nathan growled, advancing menacingly.

Julian waved his hand. "Ah, whatever. Basketball, football, hockey – it's all so similar."

Lucas put a hand on Nathan's shoulder and shot a warning glance at him. The last thing they needed was for Nathan to get arrested for assault. "Julian, what are you doing here? And how did you find out where Nathan lives?"

"In this pathetic excuse for a town, all I had to do was give the cabbie a hundred dollar tip and he was more than happy to drive me straight here. It's all about the Benjamins, man. You guys might want to invest in a little security or something. I mean, everyone knows everything about you Scotts." Julian swayed a little as he fixed his gaze on Lucas. "Ah, there he is. The great Lucas Scott; author, professor, professional knight in shining armour. I came here to see you, Lucas. I've got some things I need to get off my chest."

"You're drunk." Lucas stated. He was not in the mood to deal with one of Peyton's drunken exes at the moment.

"How observant of you. No wonder you make such a fantastic writer. Your powers of observation are astounding." Julian replied, stumbling towards Lucas. "It was always about you, Lucas. I really thought she loved me, but she had me fooled. That stupid book of yours came out and I was nothing. I was nothing to her! Fuck! All I heard about was how wonderful Lucas was, what a fabulous writer, and gosh, how much he must have loved her to write a book about her." Julian moved closer. "I learned everything about you during that time, Lucas. Yet, strangely enough, you have no idea who I am. I mean, I'm sure you do now, since Brooke's probably clued you in." Julian was standing inches away from Lucas' face by now. Luke could smell the distinct odour of whiskey on his breath, emanating from his pores.

Nathan stepped forward. "Back off, Julian."

Julian ignored Nathan's warning. "You ruined my fucking life, Lucas Scott. You took away the only person I ever loved enough to see the real me. Do you know that she agreed to marry you like a week after we broke up? A fucking week. I was ready to come back and give her everything she wanted and instead, you swooped in and carted her off to Hicksville."

Lucas stood perfectly still, staring at Julian in disbelief. "You're saying that she only broke up with you a week before I proposed...and she accepted?"

Julian smirked. "That's exactly what I'm saying. So you see why you're not my favourite person? Maybe I'd be able to stomach it if you'd actually made her happy. Instead, you made her life hell. You were in love with Brooke, for fuck's sake. Oh, she told me all about you when we met up in New York last winter. The constant visits to see Brookie, how you'd talk about her all the time, how the heroines in your last two novels bore a suspicious resemblance to our favourite fashion designer. How you wouldn't touch her, or kiss her or make love to her anymore. Don't worry, I took care of that – she had an itch to scratch and I happily obliged."

Lucas stood perfectly still. "So, it is true." He said, softly. "She went back to L.A. with you, didn't she? You were the 'unfinished business' she had to take care of."

Julian's face contorted in anger. "You never loved her. Not like I did. I saw who she really was and I accepted her for it. And even though she said she didn't love you and that she wanted to be with me, I didn't believe her. So, I told her to get the fuck away from me. I got my revenge – she knew how I felt when she tore my heart apart. Then, today, when I saw her baby, I knew I made the right decision. She went back to you and had a baby with you...I knew she was lying when she said she didn't love you." Julian stumbled, slightly. "You've always had this pull on her. I never stood a chance. The baby's the proof."

Luke just looked at Julian and smiled, sadly. "Not me, Julian. For her, it was Jake. Always has been...She was leaving me for Jake when the accident happened."

Julian stumbled backwards, sitting down hard on the driveway. "Jake? The guy from the book? The one who told her to go back to you?"

Lucas nodded. "The very same."

Julian buried his face in his hands. "So I really meant nothing..."

The three men stood in place; none of them dared speak out loud. Lucas shivered slightly as the wind picked up, cutting through the light t-shirt he wore. He thought that once Peyton was laid to rest, the worst would be over. Instead, he could feel a heavy weight settling on his shoulders and he wondered if Nathan was right; that there was such a thing as a family curse...or was Peyton the curse?


	19. Alright for Now

**Hi everyone! Thanks for the lovely reviews and alerts and such - they really make my day and give me the motivation to keep writing. This chapter isn't really action-packed. I like to refer to part as "the calm before the storm" (which will happen in chapter 20). In other news, I've started another story; but don't think for a moment I'm neglecting this one. I kind of like have having a couple of things on the go at the same time. This way, if I get blocked on one project, I've got another to keep the creative juices flowing.**

**I still don't own OTH. And, the chapter title comes from a Tom Petty song. He's been popping up on iPod quite a bit lately. Enjoy!**

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****Chapter 19 – Alright for Now **

"_I've spent my life traveling; I've spent my life free. I could not repay all you've done for me. So close your eyes... We're alright for now." – Tom Petty_

Brooke and Haley sat on the couch anxiously awaiting the return of Nathan and Lucas. They made small talk for a while, but eventually they trailed off into silence. As if he could sense their anxiety, Jamie cuddled up between them on the sofa, his head resting against Haley's belly as he watched _Scooby-Doo_. Brooke smiled down at her godson, thinking of the day when she would be pregnant with a baby of her own and maybe Sawyer's head would be resting on her belly...unless...what if Julian did turn out to be Sawyer's biological father? Her smile faded as she forced herself to consider that question.

Brooke knew that Julian had loved Peyton so much. If he knew Sawyer could be his daughter, he would fight to the death for her. Brooke sighed. She and Luke needed to put this ridiculous fight to rest. They had bigger things to worry about.

She was jolted from her thoughts by the sound of a male voice yelling outside. Brooke and Haley stared at each other, eyes widened. "Oh, god." Brooke groaned.

"That doesn't sound like Luke or Nathan." Haley observed, puzzled.

Jamie sat up and looked at them, warily. "Is there going to be more fighting? I don't want Uncle Lucas fighting with Daddy, now."

"No, Jimmy-Jam, no more fighting tonight." Brooke gave Jamie a kiss on the top of his head. "I'll go outside and see what's going on." Brooke walked towards the front door, stopping long enough to slip on a pair of flats and strode outside, ready to give the Scott brothers a piece of her mind.

* * *

Lucas watched as Julian struggled to regain control of his emotions. He looked over at his brother and they exchanged an awkward glance. Neither of them was sure what to do or say. Luckily, at that very moment, the front door opened and Brooke stepped out onto the porch.

"What's going on out here? We could hear yelling..." she stepped forward, seeing Julian sitting on the ground, grief-stricken. "Is that Julian? Is he okay? Did one of you punch him?"

Nathan shook his head. "Don't worry, we didn't touch him. But, he's definitely not okay."

Brooke stepped off the porch and crept over to where Julian sat, putting a hand on his shoulder. She looked at Lucas and Nathan tentatively, before turning her attention to Julian. "Julian, are you okay?"

Julian looked up at her, his eyes glazed with tears. "Brooke, tell me she loved me. She must have loved me once...if she didn't, then I have nothing left to believe in." He grasped her shoulders, firmly. Brooke sucked in her breath sharply, surprised at the strength in his grip.

Lucas stepped forward, worried Julian was hurting her. She shook her head imperceptibly at him, letting him know she was okay.

Brooke's expression softened as she gazed down at Julian. "I truly believe she loved you, Julian. I really do...as much as Lucas rescued her over the years; you saved her when she needed it the most."

Julian hugged Brooke to him tightly, sobbing on her shoulder. "I loved her, too. I loved her so much, Brooke. I just can't handle we went through all this pain for nothing."

Brooke said nothing and just held onto him, gently patting his back. She had been in Julian's place before; she knew what it was like to love so much, and dream of forever with someone only to have it fall to pieces around your feet. She looked up, catching Lucas looking at her searchingly. He came over and knelt down beside her and Julian. Julian had stopped sobbing and suddenly went limp. "Luke, I think he's passed out." Brooke gasped, trying to keep herself from collapsing under Julian's weight.

Lucas took Julian's arm and draped it across his own shoulders, allowing Brooke to get to her feet. Nathan held up Julian's other side. "What now?" Lucas asked.

"Well, we can't leave him sitting out in the yard...and I don't feel right sending him back to his hotel. Not in this condition. He shouldn't be alone." Brooke said, worriedly.

Nathan sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine. He can crash here, just for tonight. But make sure Jamie's up in his room when we bring him in. He's already had enough excitement for one day. I don't want him to see some drunk-ass stranger being dragged through the house."

Brooke nodded. "Watch his window. Once I have him up in his room, I'll turn on the light." She turned away to go inside to warn Haley and bring Jamie upstairs.

"Peyton Sawyer's caused a lot of shit for us, lately." Nathan commented, resentfully as they waited for Brooke's signal.

Lucas just sighed. "I know. I'm really sorry, Nate." He looked at his brother, feeling guilty for all the craziness he was subjecting Nathan, Haley and Jamie to.

"It's not your fault. I blame Peyton. Unfortunately, since she's dead, I can't yell at her and ask her what the fuck she was thinking." Nathan grunted as he shifted Julian's weight. "But, that fight you and Brooke had – that's all on you, bro."

Lucas just nodded. He was well aware of that. The two brothers started dragging Julian towards the front door, as they saw a light come on in Jamie's room. They lugged Julian up the front steps and as Nathan reached for the doorknob, the front door swung open to reveal Haley standing in front of them.

"Brooke gave me a quick explanation. Is this Sawyer's father?" she asked, her eyes filled with concern.

Lucas tensed up and tightened his jaw. "He might be."

Haley and Nathan exchanged a glance as Haley turned and led them down the hall to the study. "He can crash on the couch in here." She pulled a couple of pillows and a blanket out of the closet and set up a makeshift bed for Julian.

Nathan heaved a sigh of relief as he and Luke eased Julian onto the couch. Haley pulled off his shoes and draped the blanket over him. "Maybe we should put a bucket beside the couch, Hales. He's had a lot to drink." Nathan left the room to fetch a bucket from the garage.

Haley squeezed Lucas' arm. "Go on; I know you want to talk to Brooke."

Lucas tore his gaze away from Julian and looked down at Haley. "You've always been a great friend, Hales. I'm really sorry about earlier...I know you were just trying to protect me."

Haley smiled. "It's okay, Luke."

"No, it's not." Lucas sighed and pulled her into his arms. "You and Nate have done so much for me."

"Hey, that's what families are for." Haley pulled away, as Nathan came into the room with a blue bucket and placed it on the floor beside the couch.

"Well, I'm going upstairs...I have a nephew and a Pretty Girl to make things right with." Lucas said, quietly, as he left the room, followed by Nathan and Haley.

* * *

Lucas went into the bedroom he shared with Brooke and was surprised to find the room empty. He furrowed his brow and walked down the hallway to Jamie's room. He knocked softly on the partially closed door.

"Come in!" Jamie's cheerful voice sang out.

Lucas opened the door, smiling, as he saw Brooke stretched out, asleep, on Jamie's bed. Jamie was curled up next to her with an open book resting in his lap. "Hey, bud."

Jamie looked up at Lucas and frowned. "Oh, it's you, Uncle Luke." He shut his book and climbed out of bed and stood in front of his uncle. "I told Auntie Brooke she could have a sleepover with me tonight, because you were fighting with her and made her cry. And you yelled at my Mommy." Jamie shook his head and crossed his arms. "That wasn't very nice of you."

Luke's smile faded, seeing the angry look on his nephew's face. "Jamie, I'm really sorry. There's a lot of grown-up stuff going on and I'm not handling it very well." He reached over and put his hand on Jamie's shoulder. "But, I promise that there will be no more fighting and no more yelling and no more making people cry."

Jamie looked up at Lucas and nodded, his lower lip trembling, slightly. "I don't like it when Auntie Brooke cries. It scares me."

Lucas drew him into a hug. "I don't like it when she cries, either." _Especially over me_, he silently added.

Jamie pulled away and nodded. "Okay, Uncle Luke. But, I'll be watching you."

Luke smiled and ruffled Jamie's hair. "Deal. So, would you mind if I took Aunt Brooke back to our room? I was kind of hoping to spend some time with her."

Jamie glanced back at his bed, where his godmother was sprawled. "You can take her."

Lucas raised his eyebrows. "You sure? You seemed pretty excited about having a sleepover with your godmother."

"I was, but she takes up too much room. She's a bed-hog." Jamie shrugged.

Lucas suppressed a laugh and approached the bed. Brooke was sprawled on her back, one arm hanging over the edge of the bed and the other curled around Jamie's teddy bear. He gently brushed her hair out of her eyes and stroked her cheek. "Hey, Pretty Girl...your godson wants his bed back."

Brooke stirred and mumbled something unintelligible before turning over and curling herself into a tight ball.

"She's squashing my bear." Jamie whispered, loudly.

"I'm on it, buddy." Luke carefully gathered Brooke in his arms and lifted her up, cradling her against his chest. "Goodnight, J-Luke."

"Goodnight, Uncle Lucas." Jamie said, climbing into bed and opening his book again.

Lucas carried Brooke down the hallway to their bedroom. He gently laid her down on the bed and closed the door. He turned on the bedside lamp and sat down on the edge of the bed. He never got tired of gazing at Brooke. How did he make it through those years without her? He picked up her left hand and held it to his cheek.

Brooke's eyelashes fluttered and she opened her eyes. "Luke?" she looked around, disoriented. "What's going on?"

He smiled at her and kissed her hand. "You fell asleep in Jamie's bed."

"Oh, right. I guess I did." Brooke laughed, softly. "So..."

"So...I'm an ass." Lucas whispered. "I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I know you were just trying to protect me; trying to give me what you thought I wanted." He gently squeezed her hand. "Except the only thing I wanted that whole time was _you_. I needed you, Brooke. I still need you...and I'm going to hold on to you for dear life, like I promised. No more stupid fights, no more letting the past come between us. It's you and me. Forever." He sighed, and pressed his lips to her hand. "If you'll still put up with me, that is."

Brooke's eyes widened at the intensity in his voice. She hadn't heard him sound this resolved in years...not since he fought for her at the beginning of their senior year. "I already told you I wasn't letting you go." She replied, quietly, as she pulled herself into a sitting position. She leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips and rested her forehead against his. "How's Julian?" she asked, very quietly.

"Passed out on the couch in the den." Lucas pulled back and looked into Brooke's eyes. "I'm really tempted to let him keep thinking that Sawyer's mine."

Brooke nodded, her lower lip trembling. "Me, too."

"I'm scared, Brooke." Lucas admitted, quietly.

"I'm terrified," Brooke's hazel eyes were filled with sadness. "We can't lose her, Luke. I love her so much already. She's like a part of me, which sounds totally crazy, but-"

"I know. You've jumped into being a parent to her, without any reservations...and I love you for it. God, it makes me love you more." Lucas gathered her into a tight hug. "But-"

"But?" Brooke's voice was shaky.

Lucas heaved a long sigh. "It wouldn't be right to not tell him. If there is a possibility, he needs to know."

"But, Luke, he'll take her away from us." Brooke looked up at him, her eyes pleading with him. "He loved Peyton; he'll fight for Sawyer. He won't just let her go, not after he let Peyton go."

"Well, he'd have to prove that he is her biological father, first. He and I would have to go for DNA testing." Lucas kissed her temple. "If I was in his situation, I'd want to know. And who knows? Maybe Peyton was just lying to hurt me." Even as he spoke the words, Lucas knew they weren't true. The look in Peyton's eyes when she uttered the four words that effectively severed all blood ties to his baby girl...it was a look of naked honesty. She had been telling the truth.

Brooke let out a shuddery breath. "I guess we have no choice. We have to do what's right. We have to tell him."

Lucas nodded. "Yeah, we do."

Brooke leaned against Lucas' shoulder. They were quiet for a moment, before she broke the silence by asking a question that had been weighing on her for the past few days. "And, where does that leave us?"

"What do you mean?" Lucas asked, his eyes filled with worry.

"Where do you see us? I mean, we can't stay with Naley forever." Brooke smiled slightly. While she loved being with her old friends and her godson, and was excited for the arrival of the new baby, Brooke did not want to impose for too long. While _Full House_ was a fun show to watch, she didn't think it would be so much fun to re-enact it in real life.

Lucas pulled away from her and lay back on the bed, his left arm tucked behind his head. His eyes darkened, narrowing slightly, as a thoughtful expression settled across his features. Brooke stretched out beside him, hiding a smile at her Broody.

After a few minutes, Lucas finally spoke. "I think I need to sell the place in Durham and take a sabbatical from Duke. I don't know if I want to stay in Tree Hill, though. I could see us in New York...but it all depends on what happens in the next little while with Sawyer and everything. Bottom line: I want to be wherever you are." He turned to Brooke and looked at her, questioningly. "What do you want to do?"

Brooke smiled, her heart thumping against her chest. _He wants to be wherever I am._ The thought made her deliriously happy. "Well...I've been doing some thinking the last few days, since Sawyer came to us. I really miss designing. I miss being able to sit and sketch out my ideas. I miss the creative outlet..." Brooke played with her ponytail, slipping it between her fingers as she spoke. "Don't get me wrong – I still love being in charge of my own company. I love fashion, and I love the excitement of seeing my clothes being sold in stores. I love the ideas and the shows and the excitement. But-"

"But?"

"I don't love the board meetings and the trying to please investors and dealing with the boring aspects of business. I feel like I've worked my ass off for years to get where I'm at. I want to do what I love, and focus on that...and leave the crap I'm not passionate about to people I can trust to take care of all that for me." Brooke grimaced. "That sounds immature and superficial, doesn't it?"

"Not at all. You can still steer the vision of the company without being involved in the day-to-day operations. You still maintain control; just make sure you have people you trust in place to carry out what you want to accomplish." Lucas raised his eyebrows. "Is your mother still involved with the business?"

Brooke shook her head, and laughed. "Oh, hell, no! She offered me a deal a couple of years back, when she married her billionaire. 50/50 partnership and she'd have her hubby pony up the cash. I turned it down and decided to grow the company at my own pace, on my terms. It just felt like making a deal with the devil." Brooke shuddered. "Anyway, I'm supposed to talk to Millie this week about next steps. As for where we should live...I guess it all depends on what happens with Sawyer." Brooke said, sadly. "But, I'll be happy wherever you are. I can work from anywhere." She snuggled up to him and rested her head on his chest. Within a couple of minutes, her breathing was deep and regular. Lucas smoothed her hair away from her face; it had been a long and painful day for her.

Lucas smiled and put his arm around her. He could stay like this forever...just him and his Pretty Girl, shut away from the rest of the world. Unfortunately, tomorrow would come too soon. Lucas' smile faded, thinking about what the morning would bring. Downstairs, Julian Baker was sleeping in a drunken stupor, unaware of how closely his fate was entangled with the man he despised. Lucas closed his eyes, pushing tomorrow to the back of his mind. There'd be plenty of time for drama and angst. For now, just lying here with Brooke in his arms was enough.

* * *

"_So sleep tight baby, unfurrow your brow; and know that I love you. We're alright for now. We're alright for now."_


	20. Decode

**Wow, I can't believe April's almost over. I feel like I posted the last chapter yesterday, but according to my account, it was actually twenty days ago. So, first up, I want to appologize for the delay in posting. Life has been incredibly hectic the last little while. To make it up to you, I've produced the longest chapter (well, second-longest) for this story. We're going to be seeing a bit of the history in Julian and Peyton's relationship, but there's a bit of Brucas to off-set it. There's also some ridiculousness, but it was late when I wrote that part, so I hope you'll forgive my silliness.**

**Finally, thank you for all the wonderful reviews you've been sending me. I am going to make a resolution to be more timely in replying over PM. If I don't respond right away (or at all) just know that I do appreciate each and every one. I can be a horrible slacker at times.**

**So, here it is. Let me know if it's good, bad, or meh. **

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**Chapter 20 – Decode**

"_The truth is hiding in your eyes and it's hanging on your tongue. Just boiling in my blood...but you think that I can't see...How did we get here? When I used to know you so well. How did we get here? When I used to know you so well. I think I know. I think I know. There is something I see in you. It might kill me... want it to be true." - Paramore_

Julian Baker felt as if he was being watched. He'd been drifting through that state between light dozing and being wide awake for awhile, now. Julian winced as the dull ache in his head began to throb insistently. He refused to open his eyes though. He had a feeling he'd done some stupid things last night...he couldn't remember what, exactly. Maybe if he could just fall back asleep, he wouldn't have to deal with whatever happened. He recalled driving out to that sleazy bar and ordering a few shoots of whiskey...and then, all went blank. That's why he didn't drink very often; he had an unfortunate tendency to black out and not remember important events. Other than the occasional glass of wine at dinner, he didn't drink at all. The last time he had overindulged to this point was the last time he saw Peyton. Julian shook the memory away. Getting bogged down in the past was the last thing he needed right now. Julian tried to ignore the excruciating pain in his head and just relax...but that feeling was still there. Someone else was with him in this room. And they were staring at him. Julian wondered if he'd brought a stranger back to his hotel with him. After some internal debate, Julian opened one eye.

This wasn't his hotel room. And he was definitely not in a king-sized bed. He was sleeping on a couch...in some sort of office. God, the light was bright in here, way too bright. He might as well be staring into the sun. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. Basketball trophies lined the shelves on the walls; framed photographs of basketball teams and players and even a couple of framed jerseys filled most of the remaining wall space. There was even a large poster of Nathan Scott, taking a shot at a basket. Where the fuck was he? Did some crazy Nathan Scott-obsessed stalker kidnap him and bring him here?

Julian turned over on his back and stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling. He groaned, as the pounding in his head intensified. He needed to find out where he was...and how he got here. He sighed, as he remembered the reason he'd gotten so hammered in the first place. Seeing Lucas Scott holding Peyton's child had devastated him. Julian swallowed the lump threatening to rise in his throat. He'd always felt inadequate to Lucas Scott. Peyton always spoke of him reverently – he was the perfect man and could do no wrong, unlike Julian. What hurt the most was the fact she didn't want to have Julian's baby, but she was perfectly happy to bear Lucas' child. Even after all she had told him back when they met last year. Julian closed his eyes, blinking back the tears filling his eyes. He needed to get back to L.A. as soon as possible.

"Are you awake?"

Julian's eyes flew open and he sat upright, looking around the room wildly. His gaze finally found the speaker; a small boy perched on the arm of the couch near Julian's feet. "Who are you?" Julian croaked.

The boy tilted his head to one side and appraised him, curiously. "I'm James Lucas Scott, but I go by Jamie. Who are you?"

Julian cleared his throat. "Julian Baker." He rubbed the side of his face. "Is Nathan your dad?"

"Yup." Jamie nodded. "Were you having a sleepover with my dad and Uncle Lucas?"

"Uh...no, I don't think so." Julian leaned back against the couch, feeling more than a little perplexed.

"Then why are you in my house?" Jamie asked, inquisitively.

Julian hesitated. That was a very good question. What was he doing in Nathan Scott's house? "I don't know." He finally answered. It was the truth.

"Maybe someone can tell us." Jamie frowned slightly. "Dad's gone to play basketball and Mom's resting." The boy appeared to be lost in thought as he pondered their dilemma. "We could ask Auntie Brooke. She knows everything."

"Brooke's here?"

"She and Uncle Lucas are staying with me and Mommy until the baby comes. She's looking after us while Daddy's away. And Uncle Lucas, too. He was hurt when Aunt Peyton crashed their car. And Sawyer's here because she doesn't have a mommy anymore. Auntie Brooke's her godmother, too." Jamie explained in his most serious tone. "Aunt Peyton was Sawyer's mommy, but she died."

Julian just nodded. "Yeah, I know." They were silent for a moment. The kid was certainly talkative. He wondered if this meant that Lucas had finally gotten together with Brooke. If so, Peyton had been right. The bastard had ripped his life apart and left it in shambles. And for what? Absolutely nothing.

"I saw you at the party we had for her." Jamie ventured after a moment.

Julian nodded. "I used to know your Aunt Peyton. Very well."

"Were you her boyfriend?"

Julian's eyes widened and his jaw dropped, in surprise. "I-uh...yeah, but how did you know that?"

Jamie just shrugged, looking somewhat disinterested. "I hear things. I'm six years-old, not stupid."

"Oh." Julian couldn't think of anything else to say. He watched as Jamie jumped down from the couch and picked up a remote control from the coffee table. The little boy turned on the TV and settled down beside him on the couch, as he began flipping channels. God, it was only 7 in the morning. Where did kids get all this energy? Why were they always up so early?

"Jamie?" Julian asked, hesitantly. He really wanted to know what the Scotts and Brooke were saying about him, and Jamie seemed perfectly happy to talk...

"Yeah?"

"Um...what were people saying about me?" Julian asked. "I'm just wondering..."

Jamie turned his attention away from the cartoons. "Mommy says it's not nice to gossip. You can ask Auntie Brooke when she gets up." He replied, primly.

Julian hid a chuckle. "Fair enough." They continued watching cartoons in silence, until Julian dozed off.

* * *

_L.A. – 3 years ago_

"_Peyton, you home?" Julian called out as he entered the home he shared with his girlfriend. It was late; nearly ten o'clock. Julian threw his keys on the kitchen counter and pulled a beer out of the fridge. What a long fucking day. He leaned against the counter and took a long sip of his beer. There'd been a ton of problems on the set of the latest movie he was producing. At the rate things were going, they'd be lucky to break even once it was released. Julian sighed and shook his head, trying to clear the horrible day from his memory. He savoured the silence for a second before realising it was entirely too quiet. Peyton had never responded to his call. Maybe she went out? Julian listened carefully and then smiled as he heard the faint strains of _Welcome to the Black Parade_ by My Chemical Romance. This was a good sign – if she was listening to emo, it meant she was drawing again._

_Julian climbed the stairs and followed the sound of the music to the bedroom Peyton used as her studio. The door was partially open, which meant that she didn't mind being disturbed. He gently knocked and peered inside. To his surprise, Peyton wasn't drawing or painting – she was sitting cross-legged on the floor reading a book. She was so engrossed in the book that she didn't even notice that he'd entered the room. Julian looked at the canvas propped up on her easel – this was a new one. She must have just started it. It was a basketball court. Julian's brow furrowed and took another swig of his beer. A basketball court near a river...and he could see that she had painted in the outline of two figures – a couple of teenagers; a boy and a girl. He leaned forward, trying to get a better look – the girl looked kind of like Peyton. But who was the boy? _

"_Interesting painting." He commented, glancing over at his girlfriend._

_Peyton's head jerked up and she clutched the book she was reading to her chest. "Holy shit, Julian. When did you get home?"_

_Julian shrugged and sat down beside Peyton. "Just a few minutes ago." He leaned over, glancing at the title of the book she had been so engrossed in. "An Unkindness of Ravens," he read out loud. "Is it any good?"_

_Peyton shifted away from him and glanced up at him quickly, before lowering her gaze to the floor. "It's...interesting."_

"_Who's it by?" Julian asked, wondering what had gotten into his girlfriend. He was used to her occasional bouts of moodiness, but she seemed agitated, unsettled. This was different._

_Peyton slowly exhaled and looked up at him. "It's by Lucas. Lucas Scott."_

"_Your high school boyfriend? No way." Julian chuckled, slightly. "What's it about?"_

_Peyton bit her lip. "Me. Him. Our relationship, our lives."_

"_Oh." Julian didn't really know what to say. She had told him a lot about Lucas. But, Julian knew that Peyton kept much of her past locked away. Some of it was too painful for her to face. She used to numb herself with booze and drugs, but she had become much more open when they started dating. He wondered what possessed this Lucas-guy to drag up the past, and lay it out in front of the entire world without thinking of how it would affect others. What a douche. Julian put an arm around Peyton and pulled her close to him. "You okay?"_

_Peyton nodded. "I guess. I mean, I knew he'd written this. He wrote it back in high school. I just never imagined he would actually get it published." A small smile graced her features._

_Julian finished his beer. "I'm wiped. Want to come to bed?"_

_Peyton shook her head and extracted herself from his embrace. "I think I'm going to paint for a little while." She got to her feet and stood in front of the canvas Julian had been examining earlier. "I'm just feeling kind of inspired right now."_

_Julian stood up and stared at her, thoughtfully. "Don't be too long. I've missed you today."_

"_I won't." Peyton replied absently._

_Julian stood, gazing at her for a few moments. He could feel her pulling away from him and it hurt. Maybe she just needed some space to process all the shit being dragged up from the past. Julian sighed and turned away. She would come back to him when she was ready – she always did._

_Later, when things with Peyton fell apart, he was able to point to that day as the beginning of the end for them._

* * *

Brooke stood in the kitchen staring out of the window at the beach down below as she waited for the coffee to finish brewing. It looked like it was going to be a miserable day – in more ways than one. The early morning sunlight had disappeared and it was now cloudy, cold and gloomy. It looked like rain. Brooke leaned on the kitchen counter, almost hypnotized by the churning gray ocean waves down below. Soon, she and Lucas would have to wake up Julian and tell him that he might be the father of a baby he didn't know existed until yesterday. That Peyton kept the truth hidden from him, like she had from Lucas. Brooke sighed deeply. Julian was already in so much pain and she didn't want to inflict any more damage on his already broken heart. She buried her face in her hands and groaned, slightly. Why was she the one responsible for continually cleaning up Peyton's messes?

"Hey, Pretty Girl," Lucas' voice murmured in her ear. She felt a pair of strong arms (one still encased in a cast) wrap around her waist and she couldn't help smiling.

Brooke turned to face him. "Hey, yourself." He was wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. His shirt was soaked with sweat and Brooke wrinkled her nose. "You're all sweaty."

Lucas grinned and pulled her closer to him. "That's what happens when you exercise." He leaned down and kissed her on the lips, Brooke pretended to push him away, but he just held her close to his chest.

"I was wondering where you disappeared to...I hate waking up by myself." Brooke pouted.

Lucas shrugged. "I got up early to see Nathan off and then I figured I might as well go for a run. I had some thinking to do." He pulled away from her and poured himself a glass of water. "I asked my mom to keep Sawyer for one more night."

Brooke tilted her head to the side. Lucas had held off on telling Karen that Sawyer wasn't her granddaughter. He didn't want to break his mother's heart until he absolutely had to. Brooke rubbed his arm, supportively. After today, a lot of hearts would be getting broken, including theirs. But, since Julian would be out of it for awhile, maybe they would grab a few more moments of fleeting happiness while they still could. "Hey, Broody..."

Lucas looked down at her, with a slight smirk and pulled her into his arms again. He knew that tone very well. "Yes, Cheery?" he whispered in her ear.

Brooke couldn't help but shiver as his lips grazed her ear. "I was thinking you could go upstairs and grab a shower...and if you're good, I might just join you." She said in a low voice, brushing his lips with a light kiss.

Lucas smiled. Brooke had evolved from the boy-crazy party-girl he first met in high school into an amazing woman. But she still kept the playful side of her personality – the side he treasured the most. And he loved that she could make him forget whatever was bothering him– he could never brood for too long when Brooke Davis was around. "Oh, I think you'll be joining me whether I'm good or not. In fact, I think it's time I do something very, very bad," he responded.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "What are _you_ going to do that's so bad?" she scoffed.

Lucas grinned at her. "This." Before Brooke could react, Lucas grabbed her around the waist and threw her over his left shoulder, striding out of the kitchen.

"Lucas Scott! Put me down right now! You're going to hurt yourself." Brooke hissed at him, as he climbed the stairs.

"Nope, you're having a shower with me whether you like it or not..." Lucas chuckled. "Who am I kidding? You'll like it."

Brooke started giggling. She absolutely adored it when Lucas was light-hearted. She hadn't seen this side of him in years and she was glad she could still pull him out of the cycle of broodiness. She gasped in surprise when Lucas threw her down on their bed. He fell on top of her, kissing her on the lips, on the neck – everywhere. "Oh god, Lucas. I love you so much." She whispered, as he slid her nightshirt over her head.

Lucas rested his forehead against hers and stared intently into her eyes. "I love you, Brooke Davis...always have and always will." Then his lips were on hers once again, and the rest of the world faded away until it was just the two of them...lost in each other...lost together.

* * *

_L.A. - Twenty-Eight Months Ago_

_Julian pulled up in front of the house he shared with Peyton. He'd just returned from a trip to New York and he was exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to trudge upstairs and collapse into bed. Instead, he sat in his car. He knew he had to go inside eventually, but he just couldn't force his body to move. _

_Over the last eight months, things with Peyton were slowly deteriorating and he felt like there was nothing he could do to save their relationship. She'd been withdrawing from him, locking herself in her studio, drawing and painting until all hours. Peyton never showed him her work anymore and he was no longer welcome in her sanctuary. The day before he left for New York, he'd let himself in to her studio while she was at work. He was curious to see what she was doing; maybe it would give him a clue as to why she was shutting him out._

_Julian leaned back in his seat and stared up at their home. Well, he wouldn't really call it a home, not anymore. Now that he knew the truth, everything he knew was thrown into question. During his time away, he was questioning everything; Peyton, himself, their relationship, love...and he had come to a painful conclusion. He had to let her go. _

_He finally left the refuge his Porsche and walked up to the front door. There was no point in unloading his luggage since he'd be leaving again, shortly. He opened the front door and was surprised to find Peyton sitting on the stairs, waiting for him. She got to her feet and smiled at him. He wanted to gather her in his arms and forget he knew what he did. He so badly wanted to buy into the illusion of their love...but he just couldn't do it._

"_Hi," she whispered. "I missed you."_

_Julian stood in silence, rooted to his spot in the foyer. She came to him and wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned against his chest. He rested his chin on the top of her head. "I need to talk to you," he said, simply._

_Even though he couldn't see her face, he could tell she was smiling. "I have something to tell you, too."_

_Julian swallowed, hard. "You go, first."_

_She drew away from him and looked into his eyes. She was still smiling, and her eyes were filled with happiness, but he recognized an undercurrent of fear. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I'm pregnant." She whispered, as she opened her eyes._

_Julian stared at her in disbelief. This was the last thing he was expecting her to say. Pregnant? As in...a baby? Not now. They couldn't have a baby together, now. She was watching his reaction, carefully. He could see her nervousness increasing with every second he remained silent. "I went into your studio before I left." He blurted out._

_Peyton stepped away from him, her eyes widened in shock. "You...you what?"_

_Julian ran a hand through his hair and let out a ragged sigh. "I saw it all. The rivercourt painting, the drawings of him, the fifty million copies of his book you've been hoarding and the letters – I read all twenty of them. I know, Peyton. You're still in love with him."_

_The color had drained from Peyton's face. "No..."_

"_It's killing me, Peyton, but you just haven't been with me since that book came out. You've been buried in the past, a past you told me you'd left behind you. Obviously, you're still carrying some of it with you." Julian turned away from her. "Like Lucas Scott. I can't be second place, Peyton. I need to know you want me, that you love me."_

"_Julian, you know I love you." She insisted, but he could hear the waver in her voice. She didn't even believe in what she was saying._

"_No, I don't. I think you need to figure out who you really love; who you really want."_

"_What about the baby?" she demanded, anger creeping into her tone._

"_I don't want you stay with me only because you're carrying my child. I refuse to be someone you settle for, Peyton." Julian took a deep breath._

"_Do you even want the baby? Do you even want me?"_

"_Peyton, I love you. And I would love our baby. Of course I want you both! I want it all with you. It's not about what I want. If it was I would ignore the whole Lucas-thing and marry you; have a family with you." Julian's voice shook. He wanted that life with her; he wanted that life so bad it hurt. "It would be so easy to do that, Peyt. But, I can't. In the back of my mind I'd always wonder if you're just settling for me. You need to figure out what you want, Peyton. It's not fair to me...or to the baby." He started to walk away. "I'll be at the Biltmore."_

"_Julian, don't leave me."_

_He turned back towards her and looked into her tear-filled eyes. "Then look me in the eye and tell me you aren't still in love with Lucas Scott."_

_Peyton lowered her head and turned away. Julian closed his eyes and tried to blink back the tears that sprang to his own eyes. His heart ached miserably. He didn't trust himself to say anything further. He opened the front door and cast one last glance in her direction._

"_Go ahead," she said, tonelessly. "People always leave."_

_So, he left._

_A week later, Peyton moved out into her own studio apartment. They frequently talked, but it was strained. Julian buried himself in his work and began spending more and more time on the sets of his movies. One night about two months after he moved out, Peyton called him while he was in Florida, on the set of his latest movie. She told him that she had a miscarriage. She was just over three months pregnant at that point. Julian rushed back to L. be at her side. They began taking tentative steps to rebuild their relationship. They still lived apart, but they were making some progress. Sure, Peyton was still somewhat distant, but they were working through the loss of their baby. Julian began to believe in love again. He had faith in Peyton and their relationship. And then one day, it all went to hell...and the next thing he knew, she was engaged to Lucas Scott._

* * *

Julian opened his eyes. He must have dozed off. His headache had faded a bit, thankfully. He looked around the room and found Jamie curled up at the other end of the couch reading a book. Julian stared at Jamie, watching his brow furrow in concentration as he poured over the text of the book, his index finger tracing a line along the sentences. He was whispering the words to himself under his breath and Julian couldn't help smiling at the small boy. He briefly wondered if he and Peyton would've had a son that loved books...but he pushed that thought away. It was best not to venture down that path, at least not if he wanted to maintain his composure in front of Nathan Scott's kid.

"What are you trying to read?" Julian asked.

Jamie's head jerked up from the book in his lap. "Oh, you're awake again. I should've known when you stopped snoring." He held up the book and turned it so Julian could see the cover.

Julian sighed and rolled his eyes. Of course. "_The Unkindness of_ _Ravens_ by Lucas Scott. Aren't you a bit young for that one?"

"My teacher says I read at a third-grade level." Jamie replied, defensively.

"Well, that's still a pretty advanced book for a third-grader." Julian leaned back. "What possessed you to try reading it?"

Jamie shrugged. "Everyone talks about it all the time, but they won't tell me what it's about. I even asked Auntie Brooke and she wouldn't tell me." Jamie's expression became downcast. "And she tells me everything..."

Julian was silent for a moment. "Well, why don't you ask your uncle? He wrote it."

Jamie shook his head. "He won't tell me, either. He says I should wait until I'm at least twenty-one. I probably won't even live that long, Julian."

Julian stifled his laughter. "How much have you read?"

"Um...three pages. But it doesn't make much sense." Jamie gazed at the cover, chewing on his lip. "Julian..."

"What?" he asked, warily.

"Have you read Uncle Lucas' book?"

Julian debated on whether he should lie and pretend he hadn't read it – forty-seven times. But, this kid was freakishly intelligent. He'd know if he was lying. "Yes, I have." He finally replied.

"Really?" Jamie leaned forward, eagerly. "Can you tell me what it's about?"

Julian shook his head. He was not going to be the one to tell Jamie all of the Scott family skeletons; that would be enough to scar the kid for life. But...maybe he could get Jamie to reveal what the Scotts were saying about him. "Okay. I'll tell you what it's about if you tell me what people have been saying about me."

Jamie drew away from him. "You're tricking me!"

Julian shrugged, trying to hide his increasing amusement. "It's not a trick, Jamie. We'll call this an information exchange. Each of us has information the other wants. You want to know what Uncle Lucas' book is about; I want to know what you've heard about me. It's perfectly legit."

Jamie considered his words for a few moments. "Okay, you have a deal. Shake?"

Julian shook the small hand Jamie offered. "So, tell me what you've heard, my friend."

"No. You first." Jamie crossed his arms, stubbornly.

Julian heaved a sigh. "Okay, I'll give you the short version...Your Uncle Lucas was actually raised by a bunch of ravens for the first few years of his life. They'd kidnapped him from the hospital and he lived as a raven until his fifth birthday when he was returned to his mother. But the ravens told him that they would be back for him the night of his twenty-first birthday. From then on, at the stroke of midnight, he turns into a raven and flies around with his raven friends all night. But, at sunrise, he turns back into his human form. During the day, he'll still be the same Uncle Lucas you know and love."

Jamie's eyes were as wide as saucers. "No way!"

"Yes, way. It's all in the book. Why do you think your dad and Lucas weren't raised together as children? Because he was living with the ravens." Julian felt kind of bad for deceiving Jamie but, he felt the truth about what was in the book would be much more hurtful. "And why do you think he called the book _The Unkindness of Ravens_?"

"Because he_ is_ a raven...and the ravens were mean for kidnapping him." Jamie whispered, the wheels turning in his head. He was smart enough to know that Julian probably wasn't telling him the truth, but the idea fascinated him. It would be kind of cool to be related to someone who could turn into an animal. He decided to ask his Auntie Brooke if she knew anything about this. She would tell him the truth.

"Exactly." Julian nodded, firmly. "So, now that you know what the book's about, it's your turn."

"Well, I haven't heard too much. Just that you were Aunt Peyton's boyfriend a long time ago. And that they're worried you'll take Sawyer away." Jamie revealed.

Julian was baffled. "Who's Sawyer?"

Jamie rolled his eyes. "My cousin, duh."

Julian was at a loss for words. "The baby? Why would I take Peyton's baby –" Julian suddenly stopped. "Uh, Jamie? When-when was Sawyer born?"

Jamie beamed. "September 2nd. She's only ten weeks old, now."

Julian's stomach flipped as he did the math in his head. Forty weeks back from that date...the week they spent together in L.A. Eleven months...Julian stood up and ran his fingers through his hair and began pacing around the room, frantically. Could the baby be his? The baby wasn't proof that she still loved Lucas; the baby was proof that she loved _him_.

"Julian? What's wrong?" Jamie asked, looking a little frightened.

He stopped pacing and turned to face the six-year-old he'd deceived into revealing this information to him. Julian sat back down on the couch. "I'm not feeling so good...can you find your Aunt Brooke for me?" Brooke would be honest with him; if she knew, she would tell him.

Jamie nodded and ran from the room. Julian buried his head in his hands, and tried to calm his breathing. _Inhale. Exhale. Just breathe._ He concentrated on his breathing and began to feel a little calmer.

"Julian?" Brooke was standing in front of him, a worried look on her face. "Are you okay? Jamie said you were feeling sick." He shook his head in response. She placed a hand on his shoulder and sat down beside him on the couch.

"Brooke..."Julian looked in to her hazel eyes. "I need to know the truth. I trust you to tell me. You've always been brutally honest with me. I need that now."

Brooke bit her lip. He could tell she was uneasy, but she nodded. "Of course." She whispered.

Julian sighed, wondering how to phrase his question. Maybe it would just be easier to come out and ask, without any bullshit? "Brooke...this is going to seem like a weird and random question, but..." He covered his face with his hands. "Is there a possibility that Peyton's baby-"

"Sawyer." Brooke interjected.

Julian nodded and met her gaze, his chin still resting in his hands. "Is there a possibility that Sawyer is my daughter?" He kept a steady gaze on Brooke, awaiting her response.

She was silent for a few moments, staring down at the floor.

"Brooke?" he prodded. "Please...I need to know."

Brooke closed her eyes and when she re-opened them, they glittered with unshed tears. "Yes." She said, very quietly.

And with that one word, everything changed.


	21. Bad Blood

**Howdy, all. Wow, this chapter was a real bitch to write. I'm not sure why...it just was. I think it turned out okay in the end, you all will be the judges of that ha ha! So, we get more history of the Julian/Peyton relationship and the reason for their break-up, some Brucas, some Jamie and a confrontation. I'm glad this chapters out, because I'll finally be able to start moving things along at a quicker pace.**

**Again, a shout-out to those wonderful people who reviewed last time, or added an alert. I really do appreciate it! **

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**Chapter 21 - Bad Blood**

"_I'm losing sleep...so I walk these dirty streets. I hear bad blood run through this neighborhood. I don't get it. This bed ain't filled with romance; this life ain't living. It's screaming in my face...I'm on my knees much too late. I don't believe that man needs God, thank God. And all night long, the city's dreaming. I can't forget you - you're all I got, my love." - Supergrass_

* * *

"_Is there a possibility that Sawyer is my daughter?" He kept a steady gaze on Brooke, awaiting her response._

_She was silent for a few moments, staring down at the floor._

"_Brooke?" he prodded. "Please...I need to know."_

_Brooke closed her eyes and when she re-opened them, they glittered with unshed tears. "Yes." She said, very quietly._

Julian sat in stunned silence, for a moment. He might be a father. The father of Peyton's baby. A baby who was currently being raised by a man he loathed. "How long?" he asked, harshly.

Brooke stared at him, confused. "What?"

Julian gritted his teeth. "How long have you known? How long has _he _known?" He knew by the expression on Brooke's face that he was scaring her, but at the moment he didn't care. The white hot rage surging through him made rational thought all but impossible.

"She – Peyton – told Lucas last week. Not that you were Sawyer's father, but just that she wasn't Luke's daughter...she lied to him too, Julian. She kept this a secret from all of us." Brooke pleaded with him. She just hoped to God he didn't find out about Peyton's plan to have Jake adopt Sawyer once she left Lucas. If he found out about that, she wasn't sure what he would do.

Julian shook his head and got to his feet. He crossed the room in three strides and stared out the window. It was starting to rain. He took a few deep breaths and tried to calm himself down. "Where is he?" He seemed composed, but Brooke could hear the ferocity in his tone. His body was nearly shaking with rage.

Brooke closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "He should be down right away."

Julian looked over his shoulder at Brooke. Anger burned in his eyes; his gaze cutting through her like a hot knife. "I think Professor Scott and I need to have a chat."

Brooke just nodded and stood up. She moved towards the door and paused. He had turned back towards the window, staring at the downpour outside. She opened her mouth to say something, anything to ease his anger; but she couldn't find the words. Instead, she left the room. She needed to get Jamie upstairs and away from the heated discussion that was sure to follow.

Julian listened, hearing Brooke's footsteps as she retreated down the hallway. He exhaled sharply, and braced himself against the window frame for support. In a few short minutes, he would be talking to Lucas Scott – the man who had stolen everything from him – Peyton, dreams of marriage, family, love, security and perhaps, his own daughter. And the real kicker was that Lucas Scott had no idea how much he and his stupid book had destroyed his life. He leaned his forehead against the window; the cool glass soothing his aching head as memories flooded his mind. His shoulders shook as he remembered the day everything with Peyton got shot to shit. The day Julian Baker was finally broken.

* * *

_Los Angeles – 2 Years Ago_

_Julian looked at his watch. He'd finished just in time. Peyton was due home from work at any minute. He gazed around her small apartment at his handiwork. Lit candles were placed strategically on every surface – the coffee table, on the bookcase, the kitchen counter; even on top of the TV. Five dozen red roses – a dozen for each week they'd been reunited – were gathered in a large bouquet on the dining table. Champagne and two glasses were ready on the coffee table. It looked pretty damned romantic – perfect for a proposal. _

_He just hoped Peyton would accept. He let out a nervous sigh._

_The past four months had been rough, to say the least. Even though it took the devastating loss of their baby to bring them back together, the pain was worth it. The loss strengthened their bond and their relationship was strengthened. They discovered that they truly were in love – they were meant to be together. The Lucas Scott obsession was just an aberration; Peyton just needed to get her adolescent fantasies out of her system before she could commit to him, completely. They were ready; he was sure of it._

_Julian heard footsteps sound just outside of Peyton's door and he smiled. It was time._

_Peyton opened the door, her eyes widening in surprise at the sight before her. "Julian, what's going on?"_

"_Do you like it? I wanted to surprise you." Julian hoped he hadn't gone overboard and freaked her out. It wasn't exactly his style, but knew for a fact she responded best to grand gestures. _

_Peyton dropped her bag on the floor and looked around the apartment, an ecstatic smile lighting up her features."I love it. And I love you." _

_Julian crossed the room in two long strides and gathered her in his arms. "I love you, too." Peyton stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him gently on the lips. Julian pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. God, how had he managed to be away from her for almost three months? It seemed impossible that he'd been able to function without her in his life. He pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers, staring into her sparkling green eyes._

"_So, what's the occasion?" she asked._

_Julian smiled and shrugged. "I just have something I want to ask you."_

"_Oh?" Peyton gazed at him curiously._

"_I need to do this right." Julian took her hand and led her over to the couch and sat down beside her. "I love you, Peyton. The moment I first saw, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. We've gone through so much and I think we've both come a long way. I want you, I need you and I honestly know I can't live without you." Julian knelt down on the floor in front of her and pulled the ring out of his pocket. "Peyton Sawyer, will you marry me?"_

_Peyton stared at him, in astonishment. Her eyes had widened and her lips had curled into a tentative smile. Julian's eyes roamed her features, trying to read her expression. He knew he was taking her by surprise; she needed time to consider his question. He smiled at her reassuringly and waited for an answer. Seconds dragged by, and Julian began to worry. Still, he maintained his smile even though his heart was racing. Why wasn't she answering him?_

_Finally, after what seemed like an eternity – "Julian...I would love to marry you."_

_Julian exhaled, relieved and his heart rate began to return to normal._

"_But before you put this ring on my finger, there's something you should know." Peyton patted the spot beside her on the couch._

_Julian's smile faded slightly and he reluctantly joined Peyton on the couch. He tried to look into her eyes, but she kept her eyes fixed on her lap, her face hidden behind her blonde curls. Julian sighed, wondering what bomb she was going to drop on him this time. He reached over and took her hand in his. He waited, unconsciously fiddling with the engagement ring in his other hand._

"_I lied." She whispered softly._

_Julian stared at her, bewildered. "About what?" His heart beat began hammering in his ears. He hoped to God her next words were not going to include the name 'Lucas Scott.'_

_Peyton raised her head and looked at him, tears glimmering in her clear green eyes. "About the baby."_

_Julian pulled his hand away from hers. "What do you mean? You were never pregnant?"_

"_No! I was pregnant." She hesitated, rubbing her hands up and down nervously on her jean-clad thighs. "I lied about the miscarriage."_

_Julian frowned. "Okay..." he said, slowly. "So, you're still pregnant then?" _

_Peyton shook her head. "You're going to hate me," she whispered, tearfully._

"_Just tell me, Peyton. I'm confused, here. We've established that you've lied about something to do with the baby. You didn't lie about being pregnant, but lied about miscarrying." Julian's heart leapt at the thought that there might still be a baby. "Are you still-"_

"_No," Peyton cut him off. She turned to face him, tears running down her face. "I got an abortion." Her voice hitched and she began sobbing._

"_What...why would you – I don't understand." For the first time in a long time, Julian was at a loss for words. She had an abortion without telling him? And then she covered it up by saying she had a miscarriage? Julian just stared at her in disbelief. This could not be the woman he fell in love with. He leaned forward, tears flooding his eyes. He buried his face in his hands, as the engagement ring slipped out of his grasp and fell on the floor. He took a few deep breaths, but he felt as if the air had been sucked out of the room. The grief over his lost child was resurfacing – instead of feeling sadness and regret; he felt an overwhelming sense of pain and betrayal. The feeling was so crushing, he couldn't think straight. _

"_How could you?" He managed to choke out before intense, gasping sobs racked his own body. He couldn't stand to even look at her._

_Peyton was still sobbing violently. He could tell by the way her breath hitched and the thickness in her voice. "I was scared and alone...I thought you hated me."_

_Julian raised his head, staring straight ahead. "I never hated you, Peyton. If anything, I loved you too much."_

_She winced and drew away from him. "I just...I thought it would be for the best, so we could move on-"_

"_To Lucas? Had to get rid of any trace of me, isn't that right? What happened, Peyton? Did he not want you and that's why you crawled back to me?" He spat out, bitterly._

"_No, Julian, no! That's not what happened! I haven't spoken with Lucas in ages, I swear." She placed her hand on his shoulder and Julian jerked away from her. It was as if her touch burned him._

_He stood up and turned away from her. It physically hurt just to be in the same room as her. He couldn't see her, smell her or hear her – her presence was making him physically ill, he was so angry and upset. "You can understand if your word means shit to me right now, Peyton."_

"_I regretted it as soon as it was over...it was the worst mistake I've made in my life." She cried out._

"_You should have thought of that beforehand. You should have talked to me about this decision, Peyton. It was my baby, too! I had the right to know what you were planning. And why the fuck did you lie to me about it? How the hell is that even justifiable?" Julian slammed his fist against the wall, ignoring the searing pain that travelled up his arm from the force of the impact._

_This scared her – even without looking at her, he could tell. "I- I lied because knew you'd hate me. You have to believe me; I'm so so sorry, Julian. I love you so much...I don't want to lose you." Peyton scrambled to her feet, and drew up beside him, letting out a heart–wrenching cry when he moved away from her._

"_Are you listening to yourself? Do you honestly think I want to be with someone who has lied to me and ripped my heart out of my chest? I already gave you another chance and got royally fucked for it." Julian made his way to the door. "I'm done."_

"_Julian, wait!" She screamed._

"_No, Peyton. I can't even look at you. I don't know you..." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I was willing to give you everything I had – my heart, my life, my soul. I would have done anything for you."_

_Peyton stood in front of him, tears streaming down her face. "We can still have it all...we can get past this."_

_Julian shook his head. "It's too late for that. Nothing can fix this."_

"_Don't leave me!" She threw herself against the door, trying to block his path._

_Julian gently but firmly took her by the arm and pulled her away from the door. He opened it and glanced back over his shoulder one last time at the woman who had stolen so much from him. "It's over. I don't want any more to do with you. Stay the fuck away from me."_

_He slammed the door behind him, and walked quickly down the hall, ignoring Peyton's pleas for him to come back, to talk. He picked up his stride as he heard her footsteps behind him. He meant it when he said he wanted nothing more to do with him. _

_Peyton Sawyer was now dead to him._

* * *

Jamie was sitting in the family room, playing with some Hot Wheels. Brooke smiled, watching him for a few moments. "Hey, Jimmy-Jam."

Jamie looked up, beaming. "Hi, Auntie Brooke. Is Julian okay?"

Brooke's smile softened at her Jamie's concern for someone who was a stranger to him. "He's okay, but he needs to talk to your Uncle Luke. Let's go upstairs and tell him. Then, you can show me that new game your dad bought you."

Jamie raised his right eyebrow in an uncanny imitation of his godmother. "NBA Live? Auntie Brooke, you don't like basketball. Or video games."

Brooke stifled a laugh. The kid had her pegged. "Well, let's go upstairs anyway. Seriously, Uncle Luke and Julian have lots to talk about and we should stay out of the way."

Jamie looked up at her, perturbed. "Is there going to be more fighting?"

Brooke bit her lip as she met Jamie's troubled blue eyes. It had been a tough week for him – sometimes, it was hard to forget that he was only six. The constant drama was starting to take its toll. She reached her hand out to him and offered him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "They have to talk about some grown-up stuff...hopefully, they'll act like grown-ups."

Jamie frowned, squinting up at her thoughtfully. He knew she had skirted his question, but he took her hand and allowed her to lead him upstairs.

* * *

Lucas frowned, squinting thoughtfully at the blank screen on his laptop. He had the urge to write – but the words were not coming easily. In fact, they weren't coming at all. He was full of nervous, pent-up energy. Being with Brooke had eased his mind; whenever she was around, he was able to forget the outside world and lose himself in her. Her presence soothed him and he knew he had the same effect on her. When they were together, they could take on anything. But when he was without her, his anxieties and insecurities resurfaced.

With a frustrated sigh, he closed his laptop and put it aside. Brooke had gone downstairs to check on Jamie after their shower. Maybe he should join them – they could watch a movie together while they waited for Julian to awaken. Lucas got to his feet and wandered over to the window. He stared outside at the rain pouring down, lost in thought. It was raining hard, just like it had been one week ago when he returned to North Carolina. He leaned against the window frame, thinking of how much his life had changed in one week – seven days. These past seven days had brought him pain and had turned his life inside out. But he wouldn't trade the past week for anything since those events brought Brooke back to him. He smiled as he felt her arm encircle his waist.

"Hey, Broody." Brooke's raspy voice pulled him from his musings.

Lucas smiled down at her and kissed her gently on the lips. He tried to deepen the kiss, but was surprised when Brooke pulled away, giggling.

"Ewwww! Gross! You kissed her, Uncle Luke!" Lucas turned to see his nephew jump up on their bed, staring at them with disgust.

Brooke placed her hand on her hip. "And what is so gross about kissing me, young man?"

Jamie rolled his eyes, jumping up and down on the bed a couple of times. "You're a _girl_, Auntie Brooke."

Lucas burst out laughing. "Trust me, J-Luke, kissing girls isn't gross." He winked at Brooke, smirking. "You'll see when you're older."

Jamie flopped down on the bed, looking far from convinced. "Why do I always have to wait until I'm older to find out stuff?"

Brooke laughed. "That's just the way life goes, buddy. You learn more as you grow up. Anyway, go set up your game. I'll meet you in your room."

"No, I want to stay here with you guys." Jamie pouted.

Brooke shrugged. "Okay, but you won't like it – I'm probably going to be kissing your Uncle Luke and you think that's gross."

Jamie scowled and rolled off the bed. "Don't be long Auntie Brooke." He paused at the doorway and shook his finger at them both. "And, no making babies. Or else I'll tell Mommy." Then, he turned and ran off down the hall.

Brooke and Lucas shared an astonished look, before bursting into laughter, again.

"He is too funny." Brooke leaned against Lucas' chest, still giggling.

"He seems a little grouchy today." Lucas commented in an amused tone.

Brooke shrugged. "Well, he and Julian are all buddy-buddy, now. He's probably a little upset because he thinks you guys are going to be fighting."

Lucas frowned, squinting at her. "Am I missing something?"

"Well...yeah." Brooke sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. Lucas remained where he was, staring at her from his perch on the windowsill. "Jamie let slip that Sawyer is two months old and Julian went kind of ballistic. He knows that Sawyer might be his...and he wants to talk with you."

Lucas remained silent, digesting Brooke's words. He wasn't looking forward to having a heart-to-heart with Julian. The man hated him; absolutely hated him. He wasn't sure how to deal with his irrational anger. Lucas rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay." He finally said, quietly. "I'll try to keep it civil. For you and Jamie and Hales...but if he pushes me-"

Brooke walked over to him and put a finger on his lips. "You'll be calm and collected. Remember, he's heartbroken, angry, confused and hurt. I don't know what happened between him and Peyton, but whether you like it or not, you have something to do with it. Keep that in mind when that famous Scott temper starts to rear its ugly head." She took her finger away and lightly grazed her lips over his.

Lucas relaxed at her touch. "How do you do it?" he whispered.

"Easy. I reach up and just brush my lips against yours, like this..." Brooke kissed him again, and drew away, her eyes twinkling.

Lucas let out a quiet laugh. "You know what I mean. You make everything better."

Brooke leaned against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "You do the same thing for me, Boyfriend." Reluctantly, she raised her head and stepped away from him. "I'd better go see Jamie before he wakes up Tutor-Mom and tells her we're too busy making babies to look after him." Brooke's smile faded. "If it gets intense, I'll be right upstairs."

Lucas nodded, placing a kiss on Brooke's forehead. "Let's get this over with..." They walked out of the bedroom, arms around each other. They shared a final kiss before Lucas headed down the stairs to have the long-awaited talk with Julian.

* * *

Julian sighed in frustration. Brooke had been gone for at least twenty minutes, now. Maybe the bastard was hiding from him. He should be scared to face him. Julian stared outside, listening to the rain pound down on the roof. He blinked back tears, remembering the day he found out what Peyton had done. How she had aborted his baby without even telling him. How she lied to him, letting him think it had been an unfortunate accident. After that day, he vowed never to let Peyton Sawyer back in again.

* * *

_It was a week after he walked out of Peyton's apartment and out of her life. He tried to pretend she had never existed, but it wasn't easy. She called him incessantly – on his cell, at home, at his office. He decided to stay in a hotel because he couldn't stand going home – that house held too many painful memories. And he knew Peyton would show up there, wanting to talk to him. He wanted to cut her out of his life completely, but she wasn't making it easy. Peyton even turned up at the studio where his newest movie was being filmed. Of course, security barred her from coming on the lot. But, still she showed up first thing in the morning and waited all day for him. If he wasn't so furious with her, Julian would have been flattered by her tenacity. Instead, it was wearing him out._

_Julian sighed and sat back in his chair at his office. He sipped at his bottle of water and tried to relax. He was exhausted. He hadn't slept more than a couple hours a night since he left Peyton's apartment. Thoughts of Peyton, the baby, her lies and her obsession with Lucas circled constantly in an endless loop. Julian rubbed the side of his face, tiredly and stared at the stack of phone messages on his desk. He knew the majority of them were from Peyton. Without looking at them, he gathered up the slips of paper and tossed them into the garbage. Maybe he should get away – Hawaii maybe, or Australia. Somewhere Peyton wouldn't be able to follow...and he could be left alone._

_His ruminations were dashed when the phone at his desk rang. He stared at it, wondering if he should bother answering or let it go to voicemail. There had been some problems with a certain Academy award-winning actress and her on-the-set demands, lately...Julian sighed and picked up. "Baker," he barked shortly into the phone._

"_Um...Julian?" A tentative voice questioned._

_Julian closed his eyes. Shit...why had he allowed his assistant to go home early? "Peyton," he mumbled. "What do you want?"_

"_You've been avoiding me."_

_Julian leaned back and sighed. "Can you blame me?"_

_A long pause. "Honestly...no."_

_Julian listened to her ragged breathing. She was crying. "What do you want, Peyton?"_

"_I-I need you, Julian. My life is falling apart. I lost my job...I'm lost. I don't know who I am anymore," she sobbed._

_Julian opened his eyes, shaking his head, incredulous. After all they'd been through, she actually thought he'd come rescue her? Un-freakin'-real. "I'm not Lucas."_

"_What?"_

"_I'm not Lucas," he repeated. "I'm not going to rescue you. This whole situation is your own doing, Peyton. You chose to lie to me. You have to face the consequences of your actions." Julian said, softly, hoping that some of his words would get through to her. _

"_Julian, I love you. Can you please give me another chance? I'm begging you!"_

_Julian exhaled. "I'm so tired of this Peyton...I told you that I was done. I don't want to be a player in your self-created drama anymore. I just can't do it."_

"_So, it's over. You're leaving me." She seemed astonished that he wasn't going to go running back to her like a love-sick puppy._

"_**You **__left __**me**__ a long time ago."_

_Silence. And then: "I found the ring, Julian. Do you want it back?"_

_Julian hesitated. Did he want the ring? Not really. It was of no use to him, now. He also had the feeling she was using it as a thinly veiled excuse to get him to come over to her apartment. "I don't care what you do with it. If you want to, pawn it for cash. You'll need it since you got fired."_

"_That's it? After two years, that's all you have to say."_

"_What more do you want from me, Peyton? You've pretty much bled me dry – there's nothing left. I just can't deal with you anymore. Not now, not ever. Can I make myself any clearer?" Julian said, despairingly. _

"_People always leave; why shouldn't you?"_

_Julian slumped forward on his desk and started laughing. He laughed harder than he had in as long as he remembered, but strangely, there was not one ounce of mirth in his laughter. "I cannot believe you're saying this. Do you even hear yourself?"_

"_Julian –"_

"_Good-bye, Peyton." He hung up the phone and rested his head in his hands. He sat there for a few moments, considering their final conversation. _

_Julian gave himself a mental shake and opened his laptop. He was going to do something for himself for a change; something to erase the pain and anguish of the last year. He booked himself a one-way ticket to Sydney, Australia. He would leave in the morning. Julian got up and left his office, feeling lighter than he had in a week._

_When he arrived in Australia, he went straight to the Gold Coast; Surfer's Paradise, to be precise. Gorgeous beaches, sun and surfing was exactly what he needed to start feeling like himself again. Julian rented an apartment overlooking the ocean and spent his days on the beach and his evenings checking out the nightlife. He hadn't hooked up with anyone, but he was beginning to feel somewhat happy again. He was there for about two weeks when he got a text message from a friend of his – Peyton was engaged to Lucas Scott. Apparently, he turned up at her place out of the blue and proposed. And, Peyton had accepted – only hours after their last conversation._

_Julian was hurt by the news - how could he not be? _

_Lucas Scott had come to the rescue once again._

_

* * *

_Lucas stood in the doorway to Nathan's den. Julian was standing across the room from him, staring out the window. He hesitated before raising his hand to knock on the door.

"Lucas. How nice of you to finally grace me with your presence." Julian greeted him without turning around, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Lucas cleared his throat and entered the room. "Julian," he hesitated, trying to figure how to start a conversation neither of them really wanted to have. "How are you feeling this morning?"

Julian finally turned, glaring at Lucas. "How the fuck do you think I feel? I've got a wicked hang-over; I woke up in your brother's house – no idea how I got here, by the way; and now, it turns out I might have a daughter that until this morning I knew nothing about. I'm peachy keen. How are you, Professor?"

Lucas could already feel his temper rising. He clenched his jaw before replying to Julian's sarcasm. "I'm just great. Last week, my fiancée informed me that my daughter wasn't mine before _dying_; and not only that, she was cheating on me with one of my oldest friends. Then, her drunken ex-boyfriend, who I knew nothing about before yesterday, shows up at my brother's house accusing me of ruining his life, when _he_ was the one who fucked my fiancée behind my back and disappeared to L.A. with her for a week. " Lucas spat out the words ruthlessly, as Julian just smirked at him. He clenched his left fist – he wished he could wipe that self-important smirk off Julian's face.

"I think it's ridiculous that you still feel betrayed by Peyton's infidelities when you were in love with Brooke the whole time. You did a lot more harm by loving Brooke while hanging on to Peyton than if you'd just fucked her or some other random slut a few times. But, at least Peyton got to know what it was like to be with someone who loved someone else. Part of me is glad that she finally got to feel the pain she put me through." Julian wandered around the room, stopping to pick a framed photograph off the bookcase.

"You don't get to talk about Brooke – do not even mention her name. She has nothing to do with this." Lucas growled, as he walked over toward was Julian. He snatched the photograph away from him. It was a picture of him, Nathan, Haley, Brooke and Peyton back in senior year. The girls were in their cheerleading uniforms and he and Nathan were wearing their jerseys. They were all smiling; happy.

"That's rich. You broke her heart twice to be with Peyton – your 'true love always' – and as soon as you had her, you decided you just _had_ to be with Brooke. You flip-flop more than a freaking politician." Julian sneered. "You ripped my life apart, Scott. And for what? Before you wrote that fucking book, Peyton and I were happy. We were happy; she was happy, just like she was in that picture. Then, of course, you had to get your masterpiece published." Julian shook his head. "I acknowledge that we did have other problems; but the inescapable truth is that the root of all of our issues can be traced back to you and your little vanity project. And I hate you for it - for ruining my life, for breaaking her, for all of it."

Lucas swallowed hard, trying to think of a response. He could feel Julian's hatred of him radiating off of him in waves. Before he could collect himself, Julian continued, taking the picture back from Lucas.

"She was never like this with you, was she?" Julian whispered. "The woman I saw last December was nothing like the girl I fell for four years ago. But once you got through with her...well. Maybe I would have been able to let it all go, like Brooke once did, if you'd actually made her happy." Julian's tone hardened and he turned away. "Peyton and I broke each other, too. Maybe we damaged each other beyond repair. In December, I was finally able to get closure. She wanted me. She said she loved me; that she wanted to be with me. But there was no way I could go back. So, I said no."

"You used her." Lucas said, sharply.

Julian let out a harsh laugh. "You're so self-righteous. Weren't you using her the entire time because you thought all hope was lost with Brooke? Yes, we made love. I _still_ loved her, Lucas. God help me, I always will. Unlike _you_, I wasn't willing to completely destroy myself or the woman I claimed to love. Like I said, too much had happened between us for us to go back. I was just smart enough to realize that." Julian walked towards the door and paused, staring at Lucas with an icy expression on his face. "I'm going to contact my lawyer. I'd like a DNA test done as soon as possible. If Sawyer is my daughter, prepare yourself for the fight of your life. I let you take her mother from me, damned if I'm going to let you take my daughter away, too."

Julian turned and left the room. He made his way down the front hall, relieved to find the front door. He stepped outside, shutting the door behind him. Julian stood in the shelter of the front porch, recovering from the confrontation that had been three years in the making. As angry and as distraught as he was, he couldn't help but feel elated at having gotten the better of Lucas Scott. He pulled his cell phone out of his jacket and called a cab to come pick him up. He needed to get back to the hotel and clear his head.

Lucas sat down heavily on the leather couch in Nathan's office. He realized he was still clutching the photograph Julian had been so interested in. He placed it on the end table next to the couch and buried his face in his hands. Julian had been right – he was a selfish ass; bouncing back and forth between Brooke and Peyton as it suited him. Now, there would be hell to pay. Julian would make sure of it.


	22. Courage

**I've been suffering a bad case of writer's block the past few weeks. I'll write a bit, get distracted and then come back to it, hating what I've done and starting over. This chapter was _really_ long when I originally wrote it, so I split it into three chapters. I will be posting the next two within the week, yay! **

**So, this is kind of a filler chapter. I think tension in stories often arises from the characters' inner turmoil and emotions rather than external forces. I want to set up Brooke's state of mind over the next few chapters and this one lays the groundwork for it. And do not worry - there will be some Brooke/Lucas interaction very soon...just not in this chapter. :) **

* * *

**Chapter 23 – Courage**

"_So, there's no simple explanation for anything important any of us do. And, yeah, the human tragedy consists in the necessity of living with the consequences under pressure, under pressure. Courage - my word- it didn't come, it doesn't matter..." – The Tragically Hip_

Brooke sat in Karen's Café, waiting for Millicent and Rachel to appear for their meeting. She sipped at her coffee, a pensive expression on her face, as she watched Sawyer sleeping peacefully in her car seat. Brooke smiled; she was glad to be out of the house and getting some much-needed time to herself.

Haley had been extremely crabby the last few days. Her OB/GYN had miscalculated her due date. Instead of seven days, Haley had a whopping seventeen days until the baby's expected arrival. At least it looked like Nathan would be back in North Carolina for the birth…but that was of little consolation to Haley. The pregnancy had been long and difficult - all she wanted was for it to finally end. Unfortunately, Brooke and Lucas were on the receiving end of their best friend's rants, raves and tears. Today, Haley was resting at home with Karen, Lily and Jamie for company. Karen was probably the only person who was equipped to deal with Haley's mood swings at this point. Even Lucas had made himself scarce, opting to spend the afternoon with Jake. Apparently, they were going to discuss arrangements for moving Sawyer's things to Tree Hill. Brooke took a deep breath and rubbed her stomach. She had been feeling queasy for the last couple of days – stress often had that effect on her. An upset stomach was the last thing she needed to contend with at the moment. She already had more than enough to contend with.

Seven days had passed since Lucas and Julian had their confrontation. The next day, Lucas went to the hospital to have his and Sawyer's blood drawn for the paternity test. Julian had also appeared at the hospital to submit to testing just as they were leaving. He was with a man Brooke assumed to be his lawyer. Julian and Lucas had glared at each other, as they passed each other in the hallway. Brooke cuddled Sawyer, who was still fussy after having her blood drawn. Julian's eyes had softened when he saw Sawyer in Brooke's arms. In response, Lucas wrapped his arm around them both possessively and marched them out of the hospital as quickly as possible. Brooke could tell that whatever Julian had said to him during their talk had shaken Lucas to his core. Lucas' reaction to seeing Julian proved that. At least the testing was over – all they could do now was wait. The doctor told them it might take up to four weeks to receive the results.

Brooke frowned, stirring her coffee. She wondered what Julian had said to Lucas. He wasn't pushing her away – not like he had after Keith's murder. He still talked with her about his hopes and his fears, and they would lie in each other's arms while they talked about anything and everything, or just silently gazed into each other's eyes. Their lovemaking had become even more intense over the past week, if that was possible. They were becoming closer every day...Still, he would only reveal the barest details of his conversation with Peyton's ex-fiancé and this really bothered her.

Haley thought he just needed time to sort things out and that he would talk when he was ready. Brooke hoped so. Even though Lucas promised never to hurt her again, she still worried that he would pull away from her, like he did in senior year. She wouldn't be able to stand losing him again. Brooke shook those thoughts away and sighed, softly. A lot had happened over the past couple of weeks…maybe they all needed time to breathe.

Unfortunately for Brooke, having time to breathe was about to become a luxury.

Today, she was going to reveal her plans to Millie - an organizational restructuring of Clothes Over Bros. She'd thought long and hard about the company and its future over the past week. She agreed with Lucas; it was time to focus on the aspects of her business that she loved and to find people she could trust to carry out her vision in the day-to-day. She was hoping to get Millie's help in developing the proposal to the board. She wanted to head up to New York as soon as possible to make the presentation and ask for the board's approval. Hopefully, they would be able to vote on it within the month. Until the issue of Sawyer's paternity was settled, she and Lucas couldn't make any major decisions. Sure, they wanted to be together; but where? She hated that they were stuck in limbo. All she could do was take consolation in the fact that they were stuck there together.

She was jolted from her reverie by a loud cry. Sawyer had awakened and was shrieking her head off. Brooke shot an apologetic smile to her fellow diners and picked Sawyer up, cradling the baby in her arms. "It's okay, sweetheart. I'm here; your Auntie Brooke is here for you," she crooned in Sawyer's ear. Within seconds, Sawyer's cries began to die down and she snuggled into Brooke's chest, her head resting against Brooke's heartbeat. She gave her goddaughter a kiss and rested her cheek on the top of Sawyer's head, closing her eyes contentedly. _I could so get used to this_, she thought to herself.

"I wouldn't get too comfortable, if I were you."

Brooke's eyes snapped open and she raised her head. "Julian!" she exclaimed softly, so not to disturb Sawyer. "I thought you left town." She was shocked to see him standing in front of her, with that cocky smirk on his face.

Julian chuckled. "Nah, I think I've fallen in love with the quaint little town of Tree Hill and its down-home atmosphere. But you know what I especially find appealing? The people. Salt of the earth, honest, hard-working folks…" He sat down at Brooke's table, ignoring her glare. "Nope, no lying or cheating or betrayal around here – oh, wait. According Lucas' book, there _was_ plenty of that going around. And to think I was considering pulling up stakes and leaving L.A. Good thing I didn't put my condo on the market, yet." Julian shrugged and took a sip of his coffee.

Brooke's eyes narrowed and she shook her head. "I didn't ask you to sit down. What are you doing here?"

"Aw, Brookie, I'm hurt. We're old friends, you and I." Julian smirked at her, as if he was pleased to see that he had succeeded in pissing her off. "Besides, I didn't think I needed an invitation to sit with my potential daughter and her nanny."

Brooke looked away and tried to calm herself down. Sawyer started squirming, almost as if she could sense Brooke's agitation. "I am her godmother. I promised Peyton I would be there for her daughter if something happened to her and I don't intend on breaking it."

Julian looked at Brooke, thoughtfully. "Lucas got himself a pretty good deal, didn't he? I really should get tips from this guy…"

"What are you talking about, Julian?"

"Well, let me summarize the saga as I see it," Julian cleared his throat. "You and Peyton were best friends from the time you were little kids. You were always there for each other – hoes over bros and all that. Then, comes the fateful day you both encounter Lucas Scott. Somehow, he gets both of you to fall in love with him. I mean, did he drug you both or cast some weird voodoo spell? Because the guy doesn't seem to be all that. Anyway, he likes Peyton, but dates you, then cheats on you with Peyton, breaks your heart and almost destroys your friendship with her. Then, he decides he wants you. So, he worms his way back into your heart and into your bed with all kinds of cheesy romantic gestures. _Then _Peyton snaps her fingers and he comes running. They hook up less than a month after you dump his ass, he writes a book about her and how she's his one true love. That takes us to the end of high school." Julian paused, letting out a soft chuckle.

"After one magical summer, they break up, but you're still in love with him. Yet you do nothing about it because of your noble sacrifice for the sacred friendship – which was on its last legs, by the way. I mean, let's face it; you and Peyton may have called each other friends, but you know it was the furthest thing from the truth. You two were barely speaking and it was so forced and fake when you two did get together. It was damned awkward to be around the both of you when you were play-acting at being best friends." Julian paused, shaking his head. "I can only imagine that it got worse after they got engaged. Did you know they got engaged only one week after I broke up with her?"

Brooke shook her head, unable to mask the surprise on her face. "No…I didn't realize it was that soon. I..I'm sorry." She grimaced, knowing her words were completely inadequate.

Julian shrugged. "Yeah, well. It made me feel really special. Anyway, to continue my narrative: Lucas and Peyton get engaged. Then, at some point, he realizes he's still in love with you. This completely tears her apart, and before her body's even cold, Lucas has declared his undying love to you and now you're playing mommy to a baby that doesn't belong to you and never will." Julian heaved a sigh and wiped an imaginary drop of sweat of his brow. "Did I miss anything?" he asked innocently, seemingly delighted in the astonished look on her face.

Brooke sat quietly, desperately trying to suppress her nausea and keep calm for Sawyer's sake. "That about covers it," she replied in a raspy whisper, unable to say anything further.

Julian remained silent for a moment. "I wonder how Peyton would feel if she knew you and Luke were playing house with her baby before her body was even buried?"

Brooke took a deep breath and tried to swallow her anger. "You don't know the whole story, Julian, so back off."

"I know enough. I know Lucas promised to love and protect her for the rest of her life. Then, he withdrew from her – he wouldn't talk to her, touch her, kiss her…nothing. In fact the last time they were intimate, he called her _Brooke_. That had to hurt."

Brooke gasped sharply and turned away from Julian. No matter what had happened; Peyton did not deserve that…Brooke bit her lip, imagining what she would have felt had she been in the same position. She must have been devastated.

"And then there's the matter of Professor Scott's latest masterpiece." Julian continued, gazing at her evenly. "You'd probably be very interested in it – it's all about you and how much he loves you. Apparently, he's been working on it in some form or another for quite some time. Even if she wasn't in love with him, it still shattered her. It ate her alive that they were both settling. When I met her in New York, I thought it was going to be my chance to finally tell her off for how I felt she treated me after our break-up. Instead, we ended up making love. I wanted to rescue her; to take her away from her miserable existence with Lucas." Julian let out a humourless laugh. "I once told her that I wasn't Lucas; that I refused to rescue her. A few hours with her, and I forgot about the pain she caused me…all I could think about what how much I loved her and missed her. She came back to L.A. with me. But after a couple of days…" Julian trailed off, staring at some point over Brooke's shoulder, his eyes clouded. "It all came back to me. She begged me to take her back; insisted she was done with Lucas – that she wanted me and only me. She even said she would end it with Lucas immediately to prove how serious she was about us. So she sent him a text message telling him it was over. That's it – she sent a freaking text!" Julian shook his head, as if he still couldn't believe it.

"That snapped me out of my romantic delusions pretty quickly. I'd already been burned by her twice – who's to say I wouldn't have woken up one day in the future to a note, or a text or even an email telling me she was done with me? I just didn't want to go down that road again. So, I told her there was no way we could ever be together, and she left. That was the last I saw of her." Julian turned his gaze back to Brooke, watching as she gently rocked Sawyer back and forth. His eyes were filled with sadness and regret. "Maybe if I had taken her back, she and I would be raising our daughter together and she would still be alive. But, that's my burden to carry…"

Brooke blinked back tears at Julian's revelations. How was it possible that everything had gotten so unbelievably screwed up? The whole sad situation wasn't anyone's fault. As much as Julian tried to place the blame solely on Lucas, they each had a share in creating the situation they were currently in. And that was something they would have to learn to live with.

Julian leaned forward, lowering his voice. "I also know there's a very good possibility that this is my daughter." He reached over and gently stroked Sawyer's white blonde hair. "She looks so much like Peyton…" he whispered.

Brooke cleared her throat. He was staring at Sawyer intensely, his eyes full of wonder and love. Brooke couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. "As nice as it's been catching up with you, I'm expecting some friends to be joining me."

Julian gazed at the baby for a minute before meeting Brooke's eyes. "I get the hint; I'm going. But just so you know, I intend on staying in town until I get the results of the paternity test. You can understand if I want to keep an eye on you and Lucas; make sure you're taking good care of Peyton's daughter."

"Well, you don't need to worry about that. She's well taken care of and very much loved." Brooke retorted.

He stood up and shook his head. "Oh, I think I do need to worry; seeing as how everyone seems to have forgotten about her mother and her wishes all of a sudden. I'll be seeing you around, Davis." Julian turned and walked out of the café before Brooke could say another word.

Brooke exhaled slowly, as she rocked Sawyer back and forth. She stared out the window blankly, rubbing soothing circles on the baby's back. Her old feelings of dislike towards Julian were resurfacing. She finally remembered why she hadn't exactly warmed up to him when he first started dating Peyton – his goddamned arrogance.

She shook her head – she knew Julian had been trying to get a rise out of her. It was like he was preying on her doubts and fears regarding her relationship with Lucas. She hated to admit it, but he had gotten to her, just a little bit. Brooke sighed and tried to put aside the thoughts Julian's revelations had brought to the surface. She would deal with it later.

Sawyer had finally relaxed into a deep sleep, so Brooke gently laid her down in the car seat and tucked her in, resting a hand on the baby's stomach. She unconsciously smiled; Sawyer did look a lot like Peyton. Brooke looked closely at her goddaughter. In fact, she couldn't see any sign of Julian in the baby's features. Strange…then again, look at Jamie: except for the eyes, he looked nothing like Nathan. Instead, he bore a strong resemblance to Lucas. Still…

Brooke looked away from Sawyer and quashed the nagging thought before it could be fully-formed. It was no use trying to avoid the inevitable. If Julian was telling the truth, then it was a foregone conclusion that he was Sawyer's father and she and Luke would have a hell of a fight on their hands. And they would have to deal with it.

Brooke suppressed the urge to vomit, thinking about everything. It was almost too much. Peyton, Luke, Sawyer, Haley, Clothes Over Bros, paternity tests, moving, custody cases…she couldn't handle it. She wasn't strong enough to deal with all of this at once. Her throat tightened and she could feel her eyes filling with burning hot tears. She felt completely and utterly overwhelmed; as if everything she thought she knew no longer existed. In that moment, she had no faith in anything or anyone. She felt alone.

Just as she was about to burst into tears, Brooke felt something grab onto her index finger. She looked down at Sawyer, startled. She realized her hand was still resting on Sawyer's stomach. Her goddaughter was gripping her index finger and looking up at her with bright blue-green eyes, as she sucked on her soother. Brooke's breathing slowed as she stared into the infant's calm eyes. She relaxed, smiling tenderly at her goddaughter. Sawyer's eyelids began to flutter and even though she valiantly tried to keep her eyes open, she soon drifted back to sleep, still gripping Brooke's finger in her tiny fist.

Brooke marveled at how something so small could make all of the so-called big problems in her life seem so insignificant. That was the moment she realized she had fallen completely and irrevocably in love with motherhood and being a mother to the baby girl sleeping peacefully in her car seat.

* * *

**Okay, so I hope you guys liked it - I'm not sure about this chapter, so let me know what you think! **


	23. Too Much of Everything

**Hi everyone! Here is the next chapter - I hope you like it. I've been trying to tie some storylines together and I hope I haven't made too much of a mess. :S I know exactly where I want to go - and yes, I do have an endgame in mind. I just feel there's a lot of things that need to happen for me to get there. So. That's where I'm at. I'll have the next chapter up shortly - by the end of the month, for sure. Just doing final edits, now.**

**I want to thank all of those who reviewed last time: dianehermans (who also sent me a PM a couple of weeks ago - which actually helped me get my butt in gear - thanks again!), Princessakarlita411, itsallgleektome, tanya2byour21 and bjq. You guys are awesome! And also thanks to my silent readers...I know you're out there and I won't beg for reviews, because I am a lurker by nature, too. As long as I'm drawing people in, I must be doing something right?**

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**Chapter 23 – Too Much of Everything**

_You say you believe…Well, where did you find it? What books did you read? Was it on T.V.? And who is behind it? It would be easy to say yes; it would be easy to say no. Why am I always so restless? Could it be I just don't know? There's too much of everything. There's so much; I can't think. It was better without anything - there's too much of everything." - Dala_

Rachel walked into Karen's Café, and stood in the doorway for a moment. She was surprised to see that the place had barely changed over the last five years. She felt like she was eighteen years-old all over again – a feeling she'd been experiencing quite a bit since returning to Tree Hill. She glanced around the restaurant, which was surprisingly busy for a weekday afternoon. Brooke was sitting at a table in the far corner, staring at a sleeping Sawyer. Rachel giggled at the goofy, love-struck expression on her friend's face. "Looks like Luke's got competition for Brookie's heart…" she murmured, striding across the café.

"Hey bitch, what's shaking?" Rachel greeted Brooke cheerfully.

Brooke's head snapped up, startled. Then, catching sight of her friend, Brooke smiled widely. "Hey, sl- uh…Rachel."

Rachel rolled her eyes and groaned as she sat down next to Brooke. "Are you seriously still worried about corrupting the munchkin? She has no clue what we're saying. Now, if Jenny was around, then I could see your point." Rachel shrugged. "I'd probably ignore it, but I'd still see the point. I mean, at least she understands when you talk to her and more importantly, I can understand her." Rachel signaled the waitress and ordered a grilled cheese sandwich and fries. "I'm starved. Do you want anything, B. Davis?"

Brooke quickly shook her head. "No, I'm not hungry. I just had a run-in with Julian." She gave Rachel the highlights of her enlightening conversation with the movie producer. When she was finished, all Rachel could do was shake her head in disbelief.

"I could see how that would make you lose your appetite." Rachel wrinkled her nose. "What is it with that guy? He always seems to pop up at the weirdest times…in New York, Peyton's funeral, drunk off his ass at Naley's, at the hospital and now here. He's totally stalking you guys. He needs to chill the fuck out if you ask me."

Brooke looked up at Rachel and allowed a small smile. "It's not that simple when there's a child involved. He's probably Sawyer's father; of course he's going to be protective of her. And the fact that he's obviously still in love with Peyton doesn't help matters. He's blaming Luke and I for making her life miserable."

Rachel snorted and waved her hand. "First of all, the test results aren't in so there's no proof that Sawyer's his kid, yet. Lurking around after you and Luke won't help him out; it makes him seem like a freak. You have to wonder why Peyton never told him about Sawyer." Rachel narrowed her eyes, and tapped her chin thoughtfully with her index finger. "She must have had a reason. I mean, she went back to Lucas even though she was completely unhappy with him. Something_ must_ have gone down between them the week she ran off to L.A.; something he's not telling us. Second, Peyton is dead. He can't be in love with someone who's dead. That's like necrophilia. Third, you and Lucas didn't make Peyton miserable – she did it to herself. She agreed to marry him even though she wasn't in love with him. And, she was free to leave him at any time…but she didn't. Well, at least until she left him for Jake." Rachel shrugged. "It's too bad she was too late…"

Brooke smile widened as she stared at her friend in amazement. Trust Rachel to take all of Brooke's fears and jumbled-up emotions and sort them out for her. She took a sip of her coffee, which was now cold and her stomach turned. She made a face and put the cup down. "So...what's new with you?"

Rachel leaned forward on the table, looking at Brooke, solemnly. "I am freaking the hell out and when I tell you what I am about to tell you, you cannot laugh."

Brooke nodded. "Promise."

Rachel exhaled, slowly. "Okay...I'm not sure how this happened, but I think I agreed to look after a seven year-old for a whole week."

Brooke's eyes widened and she started laughing. "You? Look after a child? By yourself?"

"You promised not to laugh," Rachel grumbled, as the waitress set her lunch down in front of her.

"I'm sorry. It's just that this was the last thing I expected to come out of your mouth." Brooke took a sip of water as her stomach lurched, again. She ignored it, trying to concentrate on Rachel's issue. "No offense, but you're not exactly a kid person."

"I know!" Rachel moaned, burying her face in her hands. "I'm scared of kids. I don't know what to do with them! I mean, I like Jenny a lot and she's a really cool kid...but I don't know how to look after her...for a whole week! By myself!"

"Jenny?" Brooke raised her eyebrows. "Why are you looking after Jenny? Where's Jake going to be?"

Rachel raised her head and popped a French fry into her mouth. "He's heading to Durham. He decided to sell his club and move back to Tree Hill. He made Karen an offer for Tric and she's selling it to him."

"That's awesome news!" Brooke exclaimed. "It'll be good for him to have some old friends around to support him." She took a deep breath, as she watched Rachel eat another fry. The smell of the deep fried potatoes was revolting.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah, he seems pretty excited. It was all he could talk about at dinner last night." She noticed her friend staring at her plate, so she offered Brooke a fry. Brooke leaned away, looking as if Rachel was offering her a vial of poison instead of her favourite snack. "I can't believe B. Davis turned down French fries. Are you on a diet or something?"

Brooke just smiled weakly. "No, just stressed." She pointedly changed the subject. "You and Jake had dinner last night?"

Rachel's eyes dropped to her plate. "Yeah, just at the hotel. Jenny was there, too."

"Mmmhmm." Brooke smiled, knowingly. "Isn't that the third time this week? You two have been spending a lot of time together since the funeral."

Rachel shook her head, a faint blush coloring her features. "Well, we're staying at the same hotel and we have a few friends in common. It's nothing. And, FYI, it was the _fourth_ time."

"Well, you know what they say about the fourth date…" Brooke teased.

Rachel made a disgusted face. "Uh, I wouldn't call them dates since Jenny was always with us."

"Okay, play-dates, then. Anyway, If it was nothing, you wouldn't be blushing, Gatina. And, he trusts you with his baby girl – that's huge." Brooke insisted.

"I've only known him a few days; plus he's still grieving over Peyton." Rachel looked at Brooke and smiled, almost shyly. "He's a great guy, though."

Brooke nodded and patted Rachel's hand. "That he is." She glanced up, beaming when she caught sight of a familiar face. "Look who finally decided to join us."

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry I'm late!" Millie exclaimed, apologetically. "I got caught up in a teleconference and you know how Evelyn just talks and talks…Tatiana actually had to step in and remind them that I was going to be late meeting you."

"That's okay, Mills. It gave Rach and I a chance to catch up. She was just filling me in on her hot, steamy affair with one Jake Jagielski," Brooke giggled, as Rachel gave her a shove.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "That's enough, slut-bucket. Weren't we supposed to be talking about your secret plans for the company?"

As Brooke and Millie pulled out folders, files and a laptop and began talking excitedly about the restructuring, Rachel's thoughts began to drift. She already knew the gist of Brooke's plan, and she was there for support, but her role in all of this was minimal. She suppressed a yawn as her mind turned to a certain club owner/ musician she only met five days ago…

* * *

_Tree Hill – Last Week (After Peyton's Wake)_

_Rachel stood outside of Tric, waiting for the cab she had called nearly thirty minutes ago. She shivered against the chilly November evening, cursing herself for wearing such a thin coat. She'd forgotten how damp North Carolina winters could be. Too bad that was about the only thing she'd forgotten about this town. Sure, some good things came from her time in Tree Hill, like her friendships with Brooke and Mouth; but the reality was that the bad memories far outweighed the good. She leaned back against the brick wall, sighing. To Rachel, Tree Hill was about missed chances, regrets and lost love. It reminded her of Cooper Lee…the only guy she'd ever really, truly loved…the only guy who'd gotten close enough to touch her heart and he ended up shattering it. Rachel shook her head, ending that train of thought. It was best not to think too much about it – the day had been depressing and confusing enough._

_Then, it started to rain. Rachel groaned. "Where the hell is that fucking cab?" she muttered under her breath._

"_Rachel! I thought you left!" An excited voice exclaimed, distracting her from her grumbling._

_Rachel turned and smiled, seeing Jenny running down the stairs towards her. Jake followed close behind, admonishing Jenny to be careful. _

"_Well, I was trying to leave, but my cab never showed up." Rachel shrugged._

"_My dad can give you a ride. Right, Daddy?" Jenny looked up at Jake, eagerly._

"_I don't want to put you out," Rachel jumped in before Jake could reply. "I could get a ride with Millie."_

"_Uh, I think Millie left with Mouth a little while ago…out the back door." Jake chuckled._

_Rachel's jaw dropped. "That little vixen!" Rachel couldn't hide her grin. It looks like her matchmaking had gone better than she thought. "I guess I could call…someone else." She trailed off uncertainly, realizing that Brooke was probably otherwise occupied with Lucas and Sawyer and she didn't have anyone else to call._

_Jake looked down at his smiling daughter and back up at Rachel. "Where are you staying? At Nathan and Haley's?"_

_Rachel burst out laughing. "No way would I be caught up in that circus. There's too much drama in that house for me. I'm staying at the Tree Hill Inn."_

"_Us too!" Jenny beamed, bouncing up and down. _

_Jake smiled at Rachel. "That settles it; you're coming with us." Rachel noticed how warm his eyes were. They were soft and kind; she'd never seen anyone with such a gentle expression. At least, no one had ever looked at her with such kindness before. It made her feel…different. She could see why Peyton had fallen for him. _

_Rachel nodded. "Okay, then." She couldn't help smiling shyly at him. She struggled to come up with a fun, flirty comment, but her mind drew a blank and all she could do was stand there grinning at him like an idiot._

_Jake gazed back at her, with an amused smile playing on his lips – but his eyes never lost their warmth. "Good. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I left you standing alone in the rain, especially after all you did for Jenny today."_

_And for the first time in a long time, Rachel's heart skipped a beat. She hadn't felt anything remotely like this in a long time…and it scared the fucking shit out of her._

* * *

"Hey! Earth to Rachel!"

Rachel jumped in her seat, knocking some of Millie's papers onto the floor. She saw Brooke and Millie staring at her in amusement as she leaned down to pick up her mess. "What the hell's your problem, bitches?" she retorted, embarrassed to have been caught daydreaming.

Brooke and Millie burst out laughing at the redhead's reaction.

"We've asked you the same question three times. " Millie admonished her.

"Looks like someone drifted off to fantasyland…" Brooke smirked slyly and winked at Millie. "I wonder who she was thinking about."

"I bet his name starts with a J." Millie interjected in a teasing tone.

Rachel rolled her eyes and brushed her bangs off her forehead. "Nice friends I have." She huffed.

"And don't you forget it!" Brooke laughed. Then, her expression turned serious as she flipped through her appointment book. "Today's Friday…I'd like to fly up to New York as soon as possible and start meeting with my management team to give them a heads-up before we present the new organization to the board. If I could have the meeting Tuesday afternoon, then I could stay in New York until the weekend. I could pack up some of my stuff at the apartment, do some last minute shopping for my new niece and be back in plenty time for Haley's due date." Brooke smiled, broadly. "Am I good or am I good?"

Rachel shrugged, regretfully. "Sorry, Brookie, but I'm looking after Jenny this week. Remember?"

"Oh, right!" Brooke exclaimed. "That was this week? I guess I forgot."

"Um… what about Haley and Jamie?" Millie asked, hesitantly.

Brooke wrinkled her forehead. "What about them?"

"Well, I thought they couldn't be left alone with Haley being so close to her due date and she's practically on bed rest and everything…and Sawyer? What about her?" Millie clarified.

"Oh, Luke can handle it. If it gets to be too much, Karen can help him out. She and Andy have decided to stay in town indefinitely." Brooke replied, with a wave of her hand.

"But Lucas won't be here." Millie stated.

"What?" Brooke frowned in confusion. "Of course he'll be here. Where would he be going?"

"Brooke, don't tell me you forgot that Luke's going to Durham with Jake, Mouth and Skills. They're leaving tomorrow. You know, to help get Luke's place packed up, put Peyton's stuff into storage…bring Sawyer's things back here…It'll take about a week…" Rachel trailed off when she saw the shocked look on Brooke's face.

"Lucas is going out of town a week? Tomorrow?" Brooke demanded.

"I thought you knew...Lucas asked Jake about it a couple of days ago." Rachel shifted uncomfortably.

"You knew about this?" Brooke asked Millie.

Her former assistant nodded slowly. "Yes…Mouth told me yesterday."

The three women sat silently for a moment, as Brooke slowly digested this information. Why on earth would Lucas decide to go on a road trip with guys when his best friend was practically bedridden and not to mention super-grouchy? And why would he neglect to tell her? Brooke sighed and rubbed her forehead. This reminded her of the impromptu road trip he took with his mother after Keith's death. The trip that led to the beginning of the end for them the second time; he never called her or texted her once in those two weeks. Now, he was leaving town without telling her. Brooke blinked back the tears that were already filling her eyes and bit her lip, trying to suppress yet another wave of nausea. What the fuck was wrong with her? She breathed in and out, trying to remain calm.

Once she felt she had regained control, Brooke raised her head and sat back in her chair. "Damn it. You'd think he'd mention this plan to me, considering I'd be left alone with a six year-old, a baby and a preggo who's about to pop! That baby could come early, you know. What if I end up having to deliver it? I wouldn't know where to start! I mean, in the movies they tell people to boil water and rip up sheets. What for? They never explain…how am I supposed to know what to do?"

Rachel grabbed Brooke's hand and squeezed it. "B., you're being silly. You will not have to deliver the Naley baby. You won't be alone; you have Karen and Andy and me. Now, tell me what's really going on." Rachel spoke softly, her voice filled with concern.

Brooke took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as she registered how ridiculous she must sound to her friends. "Luke's been acting weird ever since his talk with Julian," Brooke stated, softly. "It's kind of freaking me out."

"Weird how?" Millie asked, gently.

"He's been extra broody...and kind of closed-off. He won't talk about what Julian said to him...but whatever it was; it's definitely bugging him." Brooke heaved another frustrated sigh.

Rachel rubbed Brooke's arm, reassuringly. "Hey, maybe he just wants to get started on building his new life with you. And he can't move forward before he deals with the loose ends from his old life with Peyton. Besides, you can't get too mad at him; you were planning on jumping on a plane to New York without consulting him first."

Brooke gazed at Rachel for a moment, before letting out a laugh. "Touché. When the hell did you become so wise?" she smiled.

Rachel tossed her hair and flashed a smug grin at her friends. "What can I say? I've achieved some depth in my old age."

Millie began gathering up her papers and placed them in her briefcase. "Well, at least this gives us a little more time to prepare. I'll stay until Mouth gets back and then I can head back up to New York. What if I arrange for a meeting with the board in three weeks from now?"

Brooke nodded. "Sounds good to me."

"Great." Millie got to her feet. "I'm going to head back to hotel and start drafting the reports. I'll stop by Haley's tomorrow evening?"

"Sure. Give me a call." Brooke replied.

"Where are you off to, Mills? I've barely seen you lately." Rachel whined. "Got a hot date?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." Millie winked at them. "Wish me luck, girls…although I probably won't need it." she smiled saucily, before walking away.

"Ah, I've taught her well." Rachel sighed contentedly, thinking of Millie's newfound confidence. "The student has become the master."

Brooke nodded in agreement. "I've never seen her look so sure of herself. Looks like you made a good call in matching her up with Mouth." She glanced at her phone and gasped at the time. "Damn, it's gotten late. I need to get home. It's almost time for Sawyer's next feeding and I didn't bring an extra bottle. And poor Karen's been having to deal with Haley and two six year-olds all by herself."

Rachel watched as Brooke began to gather her things. They'd been at the café for hours, yet Brooke hadn't eaten a thing. And she looked way too pale. Rachel frowned, wondering if recent events were starting to take their toll. And her friend did have an annoying habit of spreading herself too thin and putting others' needs ahead of her own. "Brooke, make sure you take some time for yourself, okay? You look like crap and you need to rest."

Brooke nodded absently as she put on her red peacoat and slung her bag over her shoulder. "I'll try. Call me later if you want to talk about the Jenny-thing. Maybe you could bring her over to Haley's; introduce her to Jamie and Lily. If Jake's moving back here, it'll be good for her to make some friends. See you later, Rach!" Brooke picked up the car seat, where Sawyer still slept; dead to the world.

Rachel gave a little wave. "Bye girlies!" As Brooke walked away, Rachel sighed. It didn't look like Brooke was going to take her advice. There was only one thing left to do. Rachel pulled her phone out of her purse and flipped it open. She typed up a quick text message and hesitated for a second before pressing 'send.' Brooke would be pissed with her for tattling, but it was for her own good. Sometimes that girl just didn't know when to put herself first.

* * *

Lucas was sitting on the picnic table at the river court, staring out at the river. He'd tried to make a few baskets, but it was harder than he thought it would be, considering his dominant arm was broken. Jake and Jenny had left not too long ago and Lucas had remained behind to think things over, or to brood, as Brooke would say. He smiled, thinking of his Cheery…although she might be less than cheery when she found out he was going to Durham this week. Lucas' smile faded and he ran a hand through his hair.

After the _discussion_ with Julian last week, Lucas felt as if everything was spinning out of control. Granted, nearly every aspect of his life had been in disarray for quite some time. But through it all, there were two people who gave him reasons to hope things would get better; his daughter and his Pretty Girl. Now, his daughter was slipping away and he was terrified of losing Brooke, too. His greatest fear was that one day, she would wake up and figure out that she deserved someone better than him. Julian had been correct on a couple of points: he was an ass and he'd treated both Brooke and Peyton very poorly over the years. He was ashamed of himself for being such a self-centered prick. Lucas was painfully aware that he was the reason their friendship had floundered. He wondered how it was that Brooke could love him so unconditionally after all he'd done to hurt her in the past. Where did she find the faith to get past all that shit and give him yet another chance?

He couldn't control the results of the paternity test, or what happened in the past. And, while he knew he wanted to be with Brooke and build a family with her – hopefully, including Sawyer – it was killing him that they couldn't make any concrete plans. He sighed deeply, and leaned back on his elbows staring up at the sky.

They couldn't leave Haley and Nathan's until his niece was born. They couldn't get their own place until they knew what city they wanted to live in. They couldn't decide what city to live in, or what kind of home to purchase until the paternity test results were known. They couldn't think of buying any property until they knew if they'd be in a knock-down drag-out custody battle; which would certainly cost a lot of money. And round and round it went.

So, in order to keep his sanity, he had to focus on the parts of his life he could control: his job at Duke and closing the book on his life with Peyton. Lucas had a meeting with the Dean of Arts on Monday to ask for a leave of absence. He thought about resigning, but he didn't want to burn any bridges. He wanted the option open of returning to Duke in the future. He was also going to be packing up his belongings and selling the townhouse in Durham. The place had too many bad memories and he just wanted to get it cleaned out and on the market as soon as possible. Once all that was done…he would be free to start his new life with Brooke. Plus, he wanted his Mustang back. He couldn't wait until his cast was off so he could take it out for a spin. Out on the highway, he could open it up and just…go.

A buzzing sound broke into his consciousness, pulling him up and out of his reflective state. Lucas sat up and reached for his cell phone, smirking when he saw a new text message from Rachel. His smirk faded as he read the message:

**_Brookie needs u. I'm worried about the slut. U didn't mention road trip? Don't be such a dumbass! U better take care of her or else I WILL kick ur ASS! Love, Rachel._**

Lucas pocketed his phone and stood up, with a guilty pang in his chest. He knew Brooke wouldn't be too happy about the trip; especially since he hadn't told her about it. But what really concerned him was the first part of Rachel's message…Rachel wasn't a worrier by nature. The feisty redhead never would've texted him unless she had good reason to be concerned. Brooke seemed fine this morning – if a little tired. She had been complaining about feeling sick the last couple of days. Lucas began the short walk back to Nathan and Haley's, cursing himself for not paying close enough attention to Brooke. He should know by now that she would never tell him that she needed help; or that she needed him.


	24. Breathe

**Hey everyone! How's it going? I am so glad I finally got this chapter done and posted 'almost' on-time. Tomorrow is Canada Day, so I get the day off and then I take off for holidays for ten days! I am looking forward to it...work has been absolutely insane this year and I'm finally hitting my dead period, which runs from mid-June to the beginning of September. (No, I'm not a teacher - I do something much less exciting.) All that to say, I probably won't be updating this one for at least three weeks or so. Once I'm back, I need to pay attention to my other story which has been sorely neglected.**

**Anyway...this chapter contains a little Brooke/Peyton resolution. I feel like I've killed off Brooke's best friend, but I haven't really portrayed her grief** **at the loss. Yes, Brooke and Peyton have drifted apart and Peyton is certainly no saint, but I think I need to work in Brooke's grief into the story a little more. And Lucas is kind of acting like a dumbass - he'll snap out of it very soon. I wanted to show how he gets so far inside his head that he forgets about the rest of the world and shuts everyone else out - that's one of his weaknesses and he's going to have to get past it.**

**So, please enjoy and please let me know what you think if you feel so inclined. :) **

**(Oh, all lyrics in this chapter are from a song called Breathe by a Canadian band called Moist - yes, a band called Moist. They were super-popular up here during the mid-90s and this was one of my favourite songs of theirs.)**

**Chapter 24 – Breathe**

"_Save…save me from this. I wandered around the town; all the thousand things I might miss. And you…think we'll suffer much? Think we'll close our eyes, just to see the light pass us by?"_

"Hi, honeys, I'm home!" Brooke called out as she walked into the foyer of Naley manor. She gently set Sawyer's car seat down on the ground and tiredly shrugged out of her coat, draping it over the banister.

"Auntie Brooke!" Jamie threw himself at her, fastening his arms around her waist, nearly knocking her over.

"Hi handsome, did you miss me?" Brooke smiled down at her godson, ruffling his hair. "Where's Lilypad?"

"I'm right here, Brookie," a mischievous voice whispered from behind her as another pair of arms wrapped themselves around her waist. "We gotcha!"

Brooke gazed down at Lily, whose warm brown eyes were dancing with delight. The little girl reminded her more and more of Keith as she got older – especially in the eyes. Brooke laughed and gave each of the children a kiss. "Have you two been good for your moms?"

Jamie and Lily exchanged a glance before bursting into giggles. "We're always good, Auntie Brooke." Jamie responded, an impish gleam in his eye.

"Mmmhmm, I'm sure you were." Whenever Jamie and Lily got together, they were a force to be reckoned with. Separately, they were quiet and well-behaved – put them together and all hell broke loose. They seemed to bring out each other's wild side. Brooke could only imagine how exhausted Karen must be; she had looked after them for a couple of hours yesterday and afterwards, she felt like she'd been run over by a truck. "So, are you guys planning on letting go of me, soon?" Brooke asked in an amused tone.

"Nope." Lily replied, tightening her grip. "You were gone _forever_!"

"Yeah, we want you to play with us. My mom's in bed again and Grandma Karen's busy cooking dinner." Jamie said, stubbornly. "We're bored."

"Can we have a fashion show?" Lily squealed, excitedly. "We could dress Sawyer up, too!"

"Fashion shows are girly." Jamie scoffed.

Lily frowned and narrowed her eyes at him. "What if it was a basketball fashion show? You could model your jerseys…but only if you wear my new tutu with them!"

"No! Basketball players don't wear tutus!" Jamie scowled. "Auntie Brooke-"

"Enough, you two." Brooke cut the argument off. Both children were still latched onto her as they argued and as cute as it was, she really needed to breathe. "I'll play with you guys as soon as I get Sawyer fed and changed…but first, you have to let me go." Brooke tickled them, trying to get them to loosen their holds on her. She quickly found that tickling wasn't necessary – as soon as she mentioned Sawyer's name, both Lily and Jamie let go of her and knelt down in front of the baby.

"Can I hold her?" Lily asked.

"No, she's asleep. We shouldn't bug her, right Auntie Brooke?" Jamie looked up at Brooke, with a superior smirk on his face.

"Well, once she's awake, I get to play with her first." Lily huffed.

"Who says?"

"I do. I'm her aunt."

"Well, I'm her cousin."

"Aunts are more important than cousins." Lily stuck her tongue out at Jamie.

"No way! Auntie Brooke, tell her she's wrong!" Jamie howled.

"No, Brooke, tell him _he's_ wrong!" Lily shouted.

Brooke leaned against the wall, suddenly feeling completely drained. She took a deep breath…she felt kind of lightheaded and she was having trouble focusing on Jamie and Lily's arguing. "Guys…just stop," she pleaded. "Everyone is equally important in a family. I'm sure Sawyer loves both of you – please stop fighting over her. You don't want to upset her with your arguing." As if on cue, Sawyer let out a loud wail, her tiny face turning beet-red with the exertion of her cries. Brooke leaned down, ignoring the sickening queasiness in her stomach and lifted Sawyer out of her carrier.

Jamie and Lily backed away from the screaming infant, guiltily. "We're sorry." Lily whispered, wide-eyed.

"We didn't mean to make her cry." Jamie added, remorsefully.

Karen emerged from the kitchen, hearing all of the commotion. "What's going on out here? I thought I told you two to settle down in the den and watch a movie!" The impatient look on Karen's face evaporated when she caught sight of Brooke. "Oh, thank god you're back. I love these two, but today they've been into everything…" Karen trailed off, seeing that Brooke was not well. She looked ready to collapse. "Honey, what's wrong? You're as white as a sheet." Karen rushed forward, taking Sawyer from the younger woman's arms.

Brooke sat down on the stairs, feeling dizzy. "It's nothing. I'm just stressed and I didn't sleep very well last night." She smiled brightly at Karen, but who was she kidding? Karen Roe would see right through her.

Karen looked at Brooke skeptically and then turned her attention to the two six year-olds standing beside her. "Lily and Jamie, go into the den and watch your movie, _quietly_, please." The two children nodded and scurried off down the hallway. "Now, do you want to tell me what's really going on?"

Brooke bit her lip and met Karen's worried gaze. "I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now…and my stomach's been bothering me all day."

"Have you eaten today?"

Brooke shrugged. "Not really. I guess I kind of forgot and every time I even think of food, I just want to puke."

A stern expression settled on Karen's features. "Brooke Davis, you know better than that. Go upstairs and lie down. You need to rest. I'll bring you something to eat in a bit."

"But, Sawyer –"

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my granddaughter. I have some experience with babies, you know. Besides, Andy and Lucas should be back shortly and they can help out." Karen pointed up the stairs. "You're going to run yourself into the ground, Brooke. It's high time you stop worrying about everyone else and focus on yourself for a bit."

Brooke nodded and pushed herself off the wall. She knew better than to argue any further with Karen; she was outmatched. "Okay, okay, I'm going."

Brooke trudged up the stairs and down the hallway to the room she shared with Lucas. Brooke closed the door behind her and kicked her shoes off. Without bothering to turn on any lights, she shed her jeans, sweater and bra. She found one of Lucas' t-shirts discarded on the floor, and held it up to her face, inhaling deeply. It was the shirt he wore to bed last night…until she practically ripped it off of him. She felt comforted by his scent, so she pulled it over her head and curled up in bed.

She was hoping to drift off to sleep. Instead, she found herself thinking about Peyton and how much she missed her. Brooke turned over and stared up at the ceiling. For the first time, it really hit her – Peyton was _gone_. She'd been so caught up in all of the drama surrounding Peyton's secrets and dealing with the fallout that she hadn't had time to grieve the loss of her oldest friend. She had just thrown herself into caring for everyone else so she didn't have to deal with the pain. Julian's words from earlier still rang in her ears: _"It was so forced and fake when you two did get together. It was damned awkward to be around the both of you when you were play-acting at being best friends."_

Even if they weren't as close as they used to be, Brooke had still cared deeply for Peyton. She knew her feelings were genuine – but were Peyton's? Was Peyton faking a friendship with her all along? Brooke bit her lip, trying to suppress her tears. Unfortunately, she would probably never know. She desperately wished Peyton could return for one last conversation…to tell her what the hell had gone so very wrong. And why she felt she couldn't come to Brooke. A lot of pain could have been avoided if they had just been honest with each other and themselves. Maybe Peyton would still be alive. A loud sob escaped her lips and Brooke finally gave in to her grief at losing her P. Sawyer. She cried for herself and for Peyton…but mainly, she cried for Sawyer. She would never know her mother and this broke Brooke's heart. She cried for a little while, before finally succumbing to a restless sleep.

* * *

"_It's time to wake up, B. Davis."_

_Brooke slowly opened her eyes. The voice was so familiar; but it seemed different than she remembered – lighter, happier. Besides, there was no way it could be who she thought it was. She squinted as bright sunlight flooded her eyes, making it hard to see. She could hear the chirping of birds and the gentle roar of running water in the background. The hell? Brooke slowly sat up, realizing that she was sitting on the ground surrounded by grass and wildflowers. "Where the hell am I?" Brooke asked, speaking out loud without realizing it._

"_You don't remember," someone replied, with a sad sigh._

_Brooke turned her head so fast, it felt like her neck was going to snap. She knew that moody, emo tone anywhere. "Peyton?" she whispered, blinking a few times. This had to be a dream or a hallucination brought on by stress and exhaustion…but Brooke was too overjoyed to delve into the logic of the situation. Peyton was perched on a rock, not three feet away from her. _

_As usual, her head was bent over a sketchbook, blonde curls reflecting the sunlight. Brooke stared at her for a few moments, not sure if she was going to acknowledge her. Seconds later, the blonde nodded in apparent satisfaction and flipped her sketchbook shut. Peyton raised her head and looked at her, a smile lighting up her features in a way Brooke hadn't seen in years. She looked the same as she always did – skinny jeans that were ripped at the knee, an old Fall-Out Boy concert t-shirt, boots. "Brooke," Peyton replied, her eyes sparkling as she said her name. "I like your outfit…very stylish." She raised an eyebrow at Brooke, amused._

_Brooke glanced down, realizing she was still clad in nothing but Luke's t-shirt and a pair of panties. "Well, if I'd known I was going to be seeing you, I'd have put on some more clothes."_

_Peyton threw back her head and laughed. "Oh, how I've missed you, B. Davis." She shook her head and looked straight ahead, sighing contentedly. "I always feel so peaceful here, like the rest of the world can't touch me…You really don't know where we are?"_

_Brooke finally tore my gaze away from her not-so-dead best friend and looked around. Of course she remembered. They were sitting about ten feet from the bridge leading into town. It was the place they used to come to when life got to be overwhelming. It was their one safe place…"It's our spot."_

_Peyton nodded. "So you do remember."_

"_I never said I'd forgotten." Brooke looked up at her again. "I haven't been here in years."_

"_I brought Sawyer here last time we visited Tree Hill. I held her in my arms and told her all about her Aunt Brooke; her godmother…and what an amazing person she is. And about how much I missed her." Peyton's smile had faded and she looked at Brooke sadly. "I also told her you'd always be there for her if I couldn't be – I know you've been keeping that promise and I am so grateful."_

_Brooke swallowed the rising lump in her throat. It was all she could do not to burst into tears. "She's the only living piece I have left of you. I'd protect her with my life."_

"_I know you would. I'm glad she'll have a mom like you."_

"_But, I'm not her mother – you are."_

_Peyton chuckled, gently. "Yes, I am her mother…but I'll never be her mom. She'll never have any memory of me. She will know of me; but she won't __**know**__ me."_

_Brooke opened her mouth to protest, as a tear crept down her left cheek."Peyton-"_

"_It sucks, but that's life…Do I wish things had turned out differently? Hell, yeah!" Peyton lowered her head, staring at the ground. "I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of. I hurt the people I love…Jake, Julian, Lucas…you. Especially, you."_

_Brooke was silent for a moment. "I forgave you a long time ago."_

"_I know; and that's what makes you a beautiful person – your incredible heart." Peyton allowed a small smile. "But that's all in the past and I, alone, must work through my regrets. You didn't come to listen to my apologies- that's not why you're here…"_

_Brooke cocked her head to the side."Then, why am I here?"_

_Peyton heaved another sigh and ran her fingers through her tangled curls. "I wanted to tell you that everything will be okay, Brooke. I promise you that. Trust in yourself and don't let anyone undermine you or make you feel unworthy of love and happiness. Trust in the love you and Lucas have for each other and the love you two have for Sawyer. But most importantly, trust in the fact that I will be watching out for you, and for Sawyer…even though I'm gone, I'm not all that far away. Not really. I'm much closer than you think. " Peyton moved off her perched and sat down next to Brooke. "Just hold on to each other and everything will be fine."_

"_But, Julian…"_

"_Julian is irrelevant." Peyton's eyes darkened, somewhat. "He thinks he knows my story, but he only reads into it as far as he wants to see. I did love him, once…but he wasn't the boy I would have given up everything for." _

_They fell silent, as Brooke digested Peyton's words."Peyton…what happened? Why didn't you come to me? To anyone?"_

"_I've always expressed myself best through my art." Peyton smiled, slightly and gestured to the sketchbook in her lap._

"_What do you-"_

"_Don't worry about Julian, Brooke. You'll soon have more important things to consider." Peyton gazed into Brooke's eyes and placed a hand on her abdomen. "And remember that no matter how hopeless things may seem, it will all work out the way it's meant to be. You will be happy and no one deserves it more than you." Peyton drew her into a hug. "You'll always be my best friend…I love you, B. Davis."_

**"Sit…We'll take our time; watching the flowers grow. All the friends we've known say goodbye. And you - did you suffer much? Did you close your eyes, just to see the night rush on by?"**

* * *

Brooke awoke with tears streaming down her face. Peyton had been right in front of her - talking to her, hugging her, drawing in a sketchbook. It seemed so real. And now, she was gone again. Brooke let out a small cry as the comfort that enveloped her in the dream slipped away, leaving her feeling a raw sense of loss all over again. Before she could sink any further into her despair, another wave of nausea, much stronger than the others, rocked her small body. "Oh, god, what the fuck's wrong with me?" she moaned as she tumbled out of bed and ran for the ensuite bathroom.

* * *

Lucas slowly opened the door to the room he shared with Brooke. His mother had told him that Brooke wasn't well and she was very concerned. The room was dark, but he could see that the bed was empty. Lucas flipped on the bedside lamp and noticed Brooke's clothes lying in a pile on the floor beside the bed. Then, he heard a moan coming from the bathroom. "Brooke?"

Lucas pushed the partially closed door open wide to find Brooke kneeling on the floor, retching into the toilet. He grimaced and crouched beside her, rubbing relaxing circles on her back. She stopped vomiting a few minutes later and she weakly reached up and flushed the toilet, before slumping back against the wall.

"Hey…" she whispered hoarsely.

Lucas gave her a small smile as she raised her head to meet his eyes. He rose and poured her a glass of water from the sink. "Hey, Pretty Girl," he returned her greeting and handed her the water.

Brooke accepted the water gratefully and took a few sips. "I don't feel so pretty right now, Luke," she mumbled.

"What's wrong, baby?" Lucas brushed her bangs out of her eyes and tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ears. He frowned, seeing how pale she was. His mother was right – she was probably running herself into the ground. Lucas shook his head wondering how he had allowed her to become this sick, without noticing that she needed help; needed him.

"I've just been so tired and nauseous the last couple of days…I just spent twenty minutes puking my guts out even though I haven't eaten since breakfast…every time I even think about food, I just feel gross." Brooke sighed.

Lucas placed his left hand on her forehead – no fever, but she was a little clammy. "How's your stomach, now?"

"Better. But I still feel a little lightheaded; kind of dizzy," Brooke replied, giving him a watery smile. "I bet you didn't expect to come home to this…and on your last night before leaving…"

He kissed her on the top of her head and sighed. "I'm not going anywhere, Pretty Girl. I'm staying right here with you. Come on, let's get you into bed." Lucas stood up and gently helped Brooke to her feet. He placed one arm securely around her waist, holding her tightly against his body, her head resting against his chest. He walked her back into the bedroom and carefully helped her into the bed, noticing how sexy she looked wearing nothing but his t-shirt and a pair of black lace panties. He suppressed a smile – only Brooke Davis could still look so enticing just after puking her guts up. She curled up into a ball and shut her eyes. He tucked her in and went back into the washroom to get a cold face cloth. He sat down beside her and tenderly wiped down her face.

"Feeling better, Pretty Girl?" he asked in a gentle voice.

She opened her eyes and nodded. "A little."

He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "Try to rest, Brooke. I'm going to get you some ginger ale and dry toast. You need to eat something."

She nodded once more and closed her eyes, nestling under the covers. "I'm glad you're staying here with me…I need you so much, Luke." Brooke mumbled, sleepily. "When Rachel told me you were leaving for a whole week – I just got so scared…"

Lucas gazed down at Brooke, stroking her hair soothingly. "I need you, too, Cheery. I'm going to stay right here and take care of you. I promise," he whispered softly as he rose from the bed and went downstairs to the kitchen.

"_With tomorrow coming, hope that I don't let you down again. I said I'm so glad to be here. Does it mean a thing? If only I could breathe what you breathe; if only I could see what you see…"_

* * *

His mother was chatting with Haley while Andy, Lily and Jamie set the kitchen table. Sawyer was asleep in the baby swing Brooke had purchased for her a few days ago. He gently caressed the baby's cheek, smiling down at her.

"Uncle Luke!" Jamie exclaimed, running over to Lucas, Lily at his heels. "Is Auntie Brooke okay? Where is she?"

"Is she mad at us for waking up Sawyer?" Lily asked, almost fearfully. "We didn't mean to."

Lucas crouched down and ruffled Jamie's hair and gave Lily a kiss on the cheek. "No, she would never be mad at you guys; she loves both of you. She's just not feeling too good tonight, so she's going to stay in bed."

"Come on, you two, let's finish setting the table." Andy called his helpers over to finish their task.

Lucas went over to the fridge and opened it. "You got any ginger ale, Hales?"

"I think so…maybe in the back." Haley made a face. "I hate the taste of that stuff. I always associate it with being sick. How is Tigger anyway? I haven't seen her since this morning and Karen says she looked awful when she got home."

Lucas shoved some things around in the fridge and finally found a can of ginger ale. "Well, I found her with her head in the toilet, throwing up."

Karen sighed. "Oh dear. I guess she won't be up for spaghetti and meatballs, huh?" She pulled a loaf of bread out of the breadbox and put a couple of slices in the toaster. "Dry toast, it is!"

Lucas shook his head and took a glass from the cupboard beside the fridge. "Yeah, I think that'd be the safe bet. And you were right, Ma – she hasn't eaten since breakfast." He popped the tab on the can and slowly poured the ginger ale into the glass, careful not to let it overflow.

Karen sighed and shook her head in exasperation. "That girl is too busy putting everyone else first. Lucas, I hope you're going to step in and take some of the load off – she hasn't even had time to properly grieve for Peyton and they were best friends for ages. You should have seen her today – she looked like she was about to collapse in the front hall."

Lucas sat down next to Haley at the breakfast bar. "I know and I feel horrible. I should know by now that Brooke never asks for help…I've been so caught up in dealing with everything. I'm cancelling the trip to Durham-"

"Durham?" Haley demanded at the same time Karen shouted, "WHAT trip?"

"Um…Come on, kids. Let's go into the den and watch something fun on the telly." Andy said loudly, recognizing Karen's tone. His wife was about to blow and he wanted to be far away when that happened. Andy shot a sympathetic glance at his step-son as he ushered Jamie and Lily quickly out of the room.

"I was kind of planning on going to Durham with the guys…" Lucas mumbled reluctantly, under Karen and Haley's glares. "Just for the week…to clean out the townhouse and I have an appointment to meet with the Dean about a leave of absence."

"And when were you planning on leaving?" Karen asked sharply, her eyes narrowing.

"Tomorrow." Lucas dropped his gaze. Now that he was saying it out loud, his plan seemed so absurd.

Haley reached up and smacked him on the back of his head. "What the hell were you thinking?"

Karen exhaled angrily and pulled the dry toast from the toaster. "You, my boy, are an adult. You need to start acting like one. First, take care of Brooke. Second, call the Dean on Monday and discuss your leave of absence over the phone. I'm sure he will understand, seeing that you are still recovering from a car accident. Third, Andy and I will go to Durham and take care of the townhouse. I think cleaning it out is a very good idea and the sooner, the better." Karen glowered at her son, making him feel as if he was five years-old once again. "You will stay here and take care of Brooke and Haley and Jamie and Lily and Sawyer." Karen looked at Haley. "Did I forget anyone?"

"Nope." Haley smirked at Lucas' discomfort. "Don't worry Luke. You could always call Deb or Rachel if you need back-up."

Lucas grimaced and nodded, knowing it was best not to argue with his mother or Haley. The thought of being left with a baby, two small children, a grouchy pregnant woman and a sick girlfriend freaked him out. "Alright." He agreed, quietly. "I'll call Jake, Skills and Mouth after dinner." The three of them were silent for a moment. "So, I'm going to take Brooke to the doctor tomorrow. She thinks she has the stomach flu. But, I'm still worried about her."

Haley's expression softened. "Jamie had it a few weeks ago. Is she running a fever?"

Lucas shook his head. "No, she was a little clammy, but she didn't seem feverish."

"Then, it's not the flu; she'd be running a high fever." Karen leaned against the counter. "So, she's been nauseous, tired-"

"And she complained of some dizziness before I put her to bed." Lucas squinted, and rubbed his neck. He placed Brooke's dry toast on a plate and picked up the glass of ginger ale he'd poured for her, balancing the plate on his cast. "I'm going to take this up to her and see how she's doing." He started walking out of the kitchen.

"Hmmm." Haley murmured, staring at Lucas, thoughtfully. "I have a theory."

Lucas stopped in the doorway and turned. He looked at Haley, puzzled. "What?"

"Is Brooke on the pill?" Haley asked.

"Hales, what does that have to do with anything?" Lucas rolled his eyes.

"So, is she?" she questioned.

Lucas frowned for a second. Was Brooke on the pill? He hadn't thought to ask; in fact, they hadn't discussed birth control at all since they got back together. "I'm not sure," he answered, slowly.

"Have you been using anything else?"

Lucas cast a glance at his mother, who looked anything but pleased with this line of questioning. "Not always…" Actually, not all at; but he was not about to admit _that _out loud.

"Oh, Lucas! Do we have to have the birth control talk too? You're twenty-three years old, for crying out loud!" Karen snapped. "And need I remind you that you already have an eleven week-old daughter and you and Brooke_ just _got bac_k _together?"

Lucas looked down, embarrassed. He realized he would need to tell his mother the truth about Sawyer…but now was not the time. At least she hadn't slapped him yet. He remained silent, hoping that Haley was done with her bizarre questions. Usually, she wanted to know as little about his sex life as possible. Maybe her hormones were out of whack?

"Luke, come here," Haley patted the seat beside her.

Lucas heaved a sigh and stood beside his best friend, setting Brooke's now cold toast on the counter. "What now, Hales?" he demanded, shaking his head at the seat she offered him.

Haley cleared her throat. "Um…you guys have been extremely _active_ the last couple of weeks…"

Lucas reddened and rolled his eyes. "Hales!" he groaned.

"Do I really need to be hearing this?" Karen asked, looking perturbed.

"Sorry, Karen. I don't want to hear it either, but it has to be done." Haley leaned forward and placed her hand on his arm. "Lucas…don't freak out."

"I'm kind of starting to…You're acting really weird, Hales." Lucas gripped the glass of ginger ale in his right hand.

Haley took a deep breath and glanced over at Karen, who finally seemed to understand what Haley was trying to piece together. "Fatigue, dizziness, nausea…I think there might be a chance that Brooke is pregnant. A really good chance."

Her words hung in the air for one…two…three seconds…and then the sound of smashing glass filled their ears as Lucas dropped the glass of ginger ale he'd been clutching on the floor.


	25. I'm Still Searching

**So, you're all probably going to want to kill me. I promised an update like 3 weeks ago and since I left the previous chapter in a bit of a cliffhanger, you were probably expecting a resolution to that…well…Here's an update, but it focuses mainly on Rachel and Jake. I'd written this part about 2-3 months ago and was trying to find a way to fit it in the story. I thought it made sense to fit it in here. Rachel and Jake are background players in this tale, but I still wanted to show the origin of their relationship, so it makes some sort of sense later on and won't leave everyone asking WTF? **

**Do not fret – the next chapter will be all about Luke and Brooke and their reactions to a possible pregnancy. It'll be fluffy and kind of funny before I plunge everyone back into dramaland. It's pretty much written, I just need to finish it up and tweak it.**

**Thanks to the lovely reviewers of the last chapter – thank yous are at the bottom. I hope you like and do not hesitate to tell me what you think! And for the silent readers, I hope you're enjoying this too!**

* * *

**Chapter 25 – I'm Still Searching**

"_I'm still searching for something. I'm still looking for someone. But I'm caught in the middle of a broken heart and a life on the run." – Glass Tiger_

Shortly after Brooke took off, Rachel gathered up her things, paid the bill and left the café. She began her leisurely stroll back to the hotel. It was still damp out, but the clouds had parted, allowing some late afternoon sunlight to peek through. Rachel inhaled the fresh air and sighed contentedly. For the first time in a long time she felt at peace, like she belonged. She suspected that feeling had everything to do with the two Jagielskis.

Rachel smiled, thinking of Jenny and Jake. She really enjoyed spending time with them both. Over the past few days, she and Jenny had bonded. It was surprising and so unlikely…but there was something about the seven year-old girl that touched her in a place that had been long buried. She reminded Rachel what it was like to see the world through completely innocent eyes; something Rachel hadn't been able to do since she was a very small child. It was a nice feeling. And then, there was Jake. In the past, Rachel would have dismissed someone like Jake; he was too serious, too quiet…and worst of all, he would be able to see right through her. She avoided men who had the ability to see past her façade – less chance of getting hurt.

But she didn't mind letting Jake catch a glimpse of the real Rachel Gatina. Jake knew little about her past and even if he did know everything, she sensed that he wouldn't judge her too harshly. It was a welcome change. All her life, Rachel had been judged: not pretty enough, not smart enough, not nice enough, not good enough. She was used to it and she had surrounded herself with an impenetrable armor years ago; allowing her to survive in her soul-crushing occupation where one is judged solely on looks. She was sick of it. It was a superficial world and it had lost it's luster long ago. She always dreamed of going to college, finding a nice guy, settling down and retiring from modeling. It was her most cherished secret which she had never revealed to anyone, not even Brooke.

There had to be more to life than this…right?

* * *

_One Week Ago – After Peyton's Wake_

_After finding Rachel standing outside Tric in the pouring rain, Jake and Jenny drove her back to the hotel. Once they arrived, Jake invited her to have dinner with him and Jenny. All Rachel wanted to do was grab a hot shower and head out for a night of dancing, drinking and maybe finding a mindless fuck to keep her mind off of the unpleasant memories that kept threatening to overtake her. But when she looked at Jenny's eager face, she caved. She needed to eat anyway and there'd be plenty of time to hit up a club or two later on. _

_What she hadn't bargained for was how much fun she was having with the Jagielskis. Time flew by as they ate, laughed and talked; especially Jenny. At the wake, Jenny seemed shy and not at all outgoing. At dinner, she opened up to Rachel, telling her all about her school, friends and activities. Then, she peppered Rachel with so many questions her head was spinning. Jenny wanted to know everything about Rachel – her life as a model, what New York was like, her travels, her interests. Rachel felt like she was being interviewed by all five ladies on The View at the same time. _

_After dessert, Jake put an end to the inquisition, claiming that it was time for Jenny to get ready for bed. They slowly walked across the lobby, Jenny having skipped ahead of them to the elevators._

"_Thanks again for the ride, Jake. And for inviting me to dinner. I really appreciate it." Rachel hesitated for a moment. "I mean, you don't even know me and today hasn't been the easiest day – especially for you and Jenny."_

_Jake stiffened and looked down at his feet. "It's been hard," he admitted, simply. When he raised his head, Rachel could see his eyes were filled with sadness. "Thank __**you**__ for keeping an eye on Jenny today. It was a big help to me and Jenny seemed to have fun."_

_Rachel smiled at him, and shrugged. "I had fun, too. She's an amazing kid."_

_A slow smile spread across Jake's face and Rachel's heart skipped a beat. "She's probably the only thing getting me through this."_

"_Daddy, Rachel, come on! The elevator's waiting!" Jenny's impatient holler rang out across the lobby._

"_Looks like we're being summoned." Rachel observed with a smirk. Jake chuckled in response. His brown eyes twinkled in amusement; the sadness fading for the time being. They joined Jenny in the elevator. _

"_What floor are you on, Rachel?" Jenny asked._

"_Five."_

_A delighted grin appeared on Jenny's face as she pressed the button for the fifth floor. "We're on the fifth floor, too. What room are you in? Maybe we're neighbours!"_

"_Uh, 507." Rachel replied, thinking the night couldn't get any weirder._

_Jenny bounced up and down excitedly on her toes. "We're in 509. We're right next door to Rachel, Daddy!"_

_Rachel and Jake exchanged a startled glance. "Wow…that's a weird coincidence." Rachel replied, cursing herself as a faint flush coloured her cheeks. Damn it. Supermodels do not blush._

"_Yeah, one heck of a coincidence," Jake mumbled, as he ran his fingers through his hair. _

_Rachel let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding as the elevator finally arrived at the fifth floor. The trio walked down the hallway towards their rooms. Rachel's eyes widened when she saw that they were indeed very close neighbours – the doors to their suites were literally right beside each other._

_Rachel swallowed hard. This was getting freaky. Her eyes slid over to Jake, wondering if he was getting as freaked out as she was over the piled-up coincidences. What were the odds? It was like a bad chick flick come to life. Then, she saw the expression on Jake's face; sheer exhaustion, sadness and heartbreak. She remembered why he was here - it was so easy to forget since he couldn't grieve openly for Peyton as a lover. Rachel was disgusted with herself. The poor guy was devastated over the sudden death of his lost love and she was indulging in formulaic rom-com fantasies featuring him._

"_Well, I guess this time it's goodnight for real, Jenny." Rachel smiled down at the little girl._

_Jenny nodded reluctantly. "Good night, Rachel. I had fun with you today." To Rachel's surprise, Jenny wrapped her arms around her waist, giving her a fierce hug._

_Rachel hesitated, before wrapping her own arms around Jenny and giving her a squeeze. "I liked hanging out with you too, kiddo." She replied in a soft voice._

"_Will I see you again, Rachel?" Jenny asked, gazing up at Rachel with pleading blue eyes._

_Rachel glanced over at Jake who was staring at them thoughtfully; a ghost of a smile gracing his features. Jake caught sight of her questioning look and nodded. Rachel turned her attention back to Jenny, who was awaiting Rachel's response. "Of course. After all, we're neighbours, right?"_

"_Jenny, it's almost time for bed. Go on in and get changed, okay sweetie?" Jake broke in, holding the door to their room open._

_Jenny rolled her eyes and released Rachel from her hug. "Alright, Dad." She turned back towards Rachel. "Good night, Rachel."_

"_Good night, Jenny." Rachel waved at Jenny, as she disappeared into the hotel room._

_Jake shut the door behind her and turned to Rachel. "I just wanted to thank you again for helping out with Jenny today."_

"_It was nothing, Jake. I really didn't mind." Rachel said, reassuringly. There was an awkward silence. "Listen, I wasn't close with Peyton and I know we never met before today…All I know of you is what other people have told me over the years – all good things – and you probably never heard my name before today. And if you did hear anything about me, it probably wasn't very flattering, but I'm not who I used to be back in high school. I'm totally rambling." Rachel heaved a sigh. "I just wanted to let you know that if you need someone to talk to…I've been told I'm a pretty good listener. I mean, I know it seems weird, since we don't really know each other…I just thought I'd offer."_

_Jake was quiet for a moment. "She has really taken a shine to you. She doesn't usually let people in. But, with you…Jenny liked you right away. She's a good judge of character." Jake looked steadily into Rachel's eyes. "I might take you up on your offer sometime, Rachel." He added in a low voice._

_Rachel bit her lip, desperately trying to ignore the tingly feeling in her fingertips at the sound of his voice. "Anytime, Jake. You know where to find me." She smiled._

_Jake nodded and flashed her a shy smile. "Well…good night."_

"_Good night." Rachel opened the door to her room and quickly closed it behind her. She was no longer in the mood to head out to the bar. It just seemed so depressing and lonely. Spending time with Jake and Jenny made her realize how lonely she really was. All of her friends – not that she had very many – had relationships or were starting families. Look at Jake; no matter how sad he might be at the moment, he still had Jenny. _

_Rachel realized that she was tired of being alone._

* * *

Stepping into the hotel lobby, Rachel was literally jolted from her thoughts as Jenny came barreling towards her, wrapping her arms around her mid-section. "Rachel! I am so glad to see you. I had to spend the whole afternoon with Dad and Uncle Luke and all they wanted to do was play basketball! They didn't even play a real game because Uncle Luke has a broken arm. They just threw the ball at the basket. It was so boring!" Jenny's voice got softer as she gazed up at Rachel. "I missed you, Red."

"I missed you, too, Blondie." Rachel smiled at Jenny and leaned down, giving her a big hug. She looked up, finally noticing Jake standing a few feet away, smiling warmly at them. Rachel returned his smile and straightened up. "What do you say we grab dinner and you can tell me all about how your mean dad forced you to watch basketball all day long?"

Jake moved towards them, laughing. Rachel realized that this was the first time he had genuinely laughed since she met him. It was a wonderful sound. "Aw, Jenny. I'm sorry you had such a horrible time with me and Luke."

"It's okay, Daddy. Maybe next time, we could play Barbies instead." Jenny said, cheerfully. "It's a – what's that word, Rachel?"

"A compromise?" Rachel smirked, raising an eyebrow at Jake.

"Yeah, a compromise." Jenny nodded emphatically, taking Rachel's hand. "I watched boring old basketball; next time, you and Uncle Luke play Barbies with me."

Jake hesitated. "I don't know about that."

"Come on, Daddy. Fair's fair!" Jenny exclaimed.

Jake looked helplessly at Rachel, who just smirked at him. "Yeah, Daddy – fair's fair."

"I can see when I'm licked." Jake shook his head. "Okay, next time I'll play Barbies with you." Jenny cheered and took Jake's hand, so she was hanging on to both Rachel and Jake. "I don't know how to con Uncle Luke into that one." He mumbled.

Rachel leaned over. "I'll get Brooke to start working on him." She winked at him, flirtatiously.

Jake laughed once more and Rachel shivered as a tingle ran down her spine. She was glad to see him looking happy. "Come on, I'm starving."

The three of them began walking towards the hotel restaurant, the two adults linked by Jenny who skipped happily between them. Anyone who didn't know them would mistake them for a family. Rachel smiled, wistfully. Too bad it was an illusion.

Jake Jagielski was someone she could definitely fall for. Rachel sighed; she knew she had to be careful. She had been burned once before and Jake was in no shape to even be considering getting romantically involved with anyone – he was still hurting from the loss of Peyton. And as if he'd even be interested in her, anyway. For now, she was happy to have him and Jenny in her life and hope that this silly crush would go away.

* * *

Later that evening, Rachel was sitting on her bed, flipping through a copy of Vogue and sipping a glass of red wine. She'd just had a nice long bath and was finally feeling relaxed. She was still nervous about spending an entire week alone with Jenny. She was touched that Jake trusted her, but it was a huge responsibility and she really didn't want to fuck it up.

She tried calling Brooke to discuss introducing Jenny to Jamie and Lily, but ended up talking to Haley instead. Rachel smirked, remembering how Haley's shock at the news that Jake was leaving Jenny with her for a whole week. At least she hadn't laughed at Rachel, unlike a certain fashion designer. She told Rachel to stop by or call at any time during the week, which Rachel was grateful for. They also discussed Brooke and their worries that she was headed for a nervous breakdown. Haley explained that Lucas promised to stay and Tree Hill for the week and help Brooke instead of running off to Durham. Rachel was relieved that her text message did the trick. Lucas Scott needed a swift kick in the ass from time to time and Rachel was all too happy to deliver it. But, she knew there was something else going on with Lucas and Brooke…something Haley wasn't telling her. She could hear it in her voice. Rachel took a sip of her wine and pondered just what kind of drama Brucas was embroiled in _now_. Nothing ever went smoothly for Broody and Cheery…

A knock at the door startled Rachel from her thoughts. A quick glance at her alarm clock showed that it was already 11 pm. A little late for random visitors. She quickly slipped on her bathrobe, covering her skimpy sleeping attire.

"Who is it?" she asked, a little nervously. In this town, you never knew who might pop up out of the woodwork.

"It's me, Jake." Rachel sighed in relief at his familiar voice. She opened the door, ignoring the pleasant fluttering feeling in her stomach at the sight of him. "Come on in." She stepped aside, watching as he stepped into her room. He was wearing plaid pyjama pants and a grey wife beater, which clung tightly to his toned chest and abdomen. Rachel quickly looked away. "So, what brings you by?"

Jake sat down on Rachel's bed. "Luke just called a little while ago. He's not going to Durham after all."

"Yeah, Haley told me." Rachel nodded and poured Jake a glass of wine, which he accepted. "I'm glad, for Brooke's sake. She was pretty upset when she found out he was planning on taking off for a week without telling her."

Jake chuckled and then took a sip of wine. "Well, he can be kind of a dumbass sometimes." Jake hesitated, for a moment, his smile fading.

"I'll drink to that." Rachel grinned and tapped Jake's wineglass with her own to lighten the mood. "So, are you still going to Raleigh?"

"Yeah. I think I might have a buyer for the club already. The sooner I close up that chapter of my life, the better." Jake took another sip of wine and his eyes took on a faraway expression. "But I still wonder if I'm just replacing one set of bad memories with another. By coming back here, I mean. Where it all started."

She wasn't sure what to say, so Rachel reached over and patted him on the knee. To her surprise, Jake placed his hand on top of hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm not looking forward to heading back to Raleigh. There's a lot that I'm not sure I'm ready to face." He turned to her. "I have something to ask you…it's a huge favour and it might be kind of a big imposition."

"Come on, Jakey, cut to the chase." Rachel smirked at him.

"Instead of looking after Jenny for the week, how about you come with me? Both of you. I've kind of gotten used to having you around the past week and I think you're the only one who understands what I'm going through. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're the only one who has a clue."

Rachel looked into Jake's light brown eyes and nodded. He was probably right. "Okay, but only if you book us into a fancy hotel with a nice spa. And a waterslide for Jenny…and maybe for me, too."

Jake laughed and shook his head. "You drive a hard bargain, Rachel. Sure, I'll get online and see what I can find." They remained in a companionable silence sipping their wine, each lost in their own thoughts. Rachel was aware that his hand remained on top of hers. She wondered if it was time to bring up a delicate subject with him.

"Jake…do you think you'll ever be ready to talk about Peyton?"

Jake visibly flinched and closed his eyes for a moment, remaining silent.

"It might help…you know to get it all out." Rachel frowned, wondering if she was pushing him too hard. She watched her new friend as he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, his shoulders slumped forward. After a long silence that stretched from seconds into minutes, Jake finally raised his head. His eyes were filled with tears.

"It hurts too much to talk about it right now, Rachel." He said, thickly, his voice nearly breaking. "I know I can't keep it in forever. I just feel like I need to focus on Jenny and moving and getting my life back together."

Rachel smiled sadly, her heart aching for him. Peyton sure had a way of turning everyone's lives upside-down, even after her death. "My offer still stands. When you're ready, I'm here for you, friend."

Jake leaned his head on her shoulder. "Thanks, Red."

Rachel couldn't help but smile at his use of Jenny's nickname for her. It was the first time he had called her by that name and for some reason she was oddly touched. "No problem, Jakey-poo."

"Jakey-poo? You couldn't come up with anything better than that?" He laughed.

"Just be glad I'm not calling you Sexy Beast." Rachel nudged him off her shoulder. "Come on, it's almost midnight and I'm sure you want us to leave at some godforsaken hour tomorrow. I haven't even packed yet."

Jake finished his wine and got up from the bed. "You're right. And I'm going to have to get even earlier to get Jenny all packed up."

"Better get to it, then." Rachel walked Jake to the door of her room. "Sweet dreams, Jakey-poo."

"Good night, Red." Jake wrapped his arms around her and Rachel sank into his embrace. She knew it was just a friendly hug, but she couldn't ignore how safe and comfortable she felt in his arms. She hadn't felt like this since Cooper…Rachel reluctantly pulled away as her mind was assaulted with memories of their doomed relationship.

"I guess I'll see you in the morning." Rachel said, softly.

Jake nodded and Rachel could see the concern for her in his eyes. "Are you okay, Rach?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Just tired…"

"Okay…" Jake cocked his head and gave her a small grin. "You know that if you want to talk about anything, I'm here." He shrugged. "I'm an excellent shoulder to cry on, or so I've been told."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Then, good night. I'll send Jenny over at seven to boot you out of bed."

Rachel groaned. "That's low, Jagielski. Getting an innocent child to participate in such sadistic forms of torture…"

Jake just laughed and left the room. Rachel leaned against the doorway, feeling more conflicted than ever. Jake needed a friend, not a girl crushing on him. And, she was obviously still tormented over the Cooper debacle. Maybe it would be good to get away from Tree Hill for a bit; away from all the Brucas drama and crappy memories. Maybe this trip could be the beginning of a fresh start for her…maybe she could finally figure out what she wanted out of life. Maybe she could finally put Cooper Lee into the past where he belonged. Maybe she would finally be able to move on…one could only hope.

* * *

**Superstargirl7** – Thanks so much! I am so touched by your compliments! Sorry you had to wait so long for an update. Yes, we will definitely see more of Lucas taking care of Brooke in upcoming chapters. She definitely deserves it.

**Mel** – I hope you didn't hide under a rock the entire time! I'm going to start writing some chapters ahead of time so there won't be so many delays in posting. I love stories with Brucas babies…I just couldn't resist. I really want to focus on Lucas learning that he's not the centre of the universe and that even though Brooke is strong, she still needs him to carry the load once in awhile.

**Dianehermans** – Thanks! My holiday was fun and relaxing. We'll find out if Brooke is pregnant next chapter. Hopefully, you'll be okay with waiting for more Brucas. Next chapter will make up for their absence from this one.

**Itsallgleektome** – I love Brucas babies, too!

**Princessakarlita411** – We'll find out next chapter…sorry to keep you in suspense!

**Tanya2byour21** – Thanks so much! I tried to keep the characters and their reactions fairly realistic. I could totally see Karen and Haley being Lucas' voices of reason since they've known him all his life and he tends to put more weight on their words than on anyone else's. I also wanted to have Brooke start dealing with Peyton's death and I think the dream was the way to go – I'm so happy that it touched you! I was worried it would come off as cheesy. Dream-Peyton may make another cameo or two as the whole Sawyer paternity issue gets resolved. I am so glad you're enjoying the story.

**Love me some Julian** – I know! They are stupid for not wrapping it up…They just weren't thinking, those crazy kids. ;)

**StarsShine28** – I'm glad you're enjoying the story! I love hearing from new readers!

**ReadingRed** – Hope this chapter didn't disappoint, since there wasn't a Brucas baby. Yet.

**OTH-Brucas-love** – I'm so glad you enjoyed the last chapter and that it left you wanting more. That's an incredible compliment and gave me lots of warm fuzzies. Even though I like to focus on Brucas (since I miss them so much, sigh) I still enjoy writing for the other characters and their interactions. I'm relieved that they rang true.


	26. Lost Together

**As promised, here is the chapter you've all been waiting for. I won't bore you with too much yammering, so you can get to the good stuff. :) **

**All lyrics in this chapter are from Blue Rodeo's **_**Lost Together**_**.**

**Chapter 26 – Lost Together**

"_Strange and beautiful are the stars tonight that dance around your head. In your eyes I see that perfect world - I hope that doesn't sound too weird...I want all the world to know that your love's all I need...All that I need. And if we're lost, then we are lost together..."_

Lucas P.O.V.

Pregnant.

Brooke might be pregnant.

At this very moment, my pretty girl is asleep upstairs and my child – _my_ child – could be growing inside of her.

I stand perfectly still, replaying Haley's words in my mind:_ "I think there might be a chance that Brooke is pregnant. A really good chance."_

Images of Brooke's naked body and memories of our lovemaking over the past two weeks flash through my mind. I can't get enough of her...we can't get enough of each other. We're like a couple of horny sixteen year-olds again. With the exception of the day of Peyton's funeral, we've made love every day since our arrival in Tree Hill; at least two or three or more times a day. God, I've lost count. And not once did I bother with a condom. The realization hits me like a punch in the gut.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I'm so preoccupied with mentally kicking my own ass, I don't notice the glass of ginger ale slipping from my fingers, smashing the glass to pieces and splashing sticky sweet liquid onto my feet, soaking my socks. Haley gently tugs my arm and pulls me towards the stool she'd offered earlier. I sit down heavily, in a complete daze. My mother kneels down in front of me, picking up broken shards of glass from the floor.

I nod blankly as she tears a strip out of me for behaving so recklessly. I sit passively, letting her words wash over me. Mom's jumping around so much in her lecture, I can barely keep up with her train of thought.

"You and Brooke have been apart for over six years...and you just got back together – what – _two weeks ago_? And now she might be pregnant?"

She's right. Of course she's right. We just rushed in without really considering the consequences of our actions. There's no excuse for not using protection. Stupid. And if there is a baby, it's happening much too fast. The timing's completely wrong.

"Sawyer isn't even three months old and you and Brooke don't even live in the same city... And what about your careers? Brooke's busy running a multi-million dollar company and you're taking a leave of absence. Who's going to be looking after these babies?"

I take a few deep breaths, trying desperately to calm down. It's just one of Haley's hunches – she could be wrong...right? Just because Brooke's tired and sick to her stomach doesn't mean she's having a baby; there could be many other explanations.

Right?

But Haley is rarely mistaken. My best friend is highly intuitive – her hunches are usually bang-on. She never would have voiced her concerns if she didn't have a reason to think they might be true.

Is it weird I don't feel scared?

In junior year, Brooke got a false positive on a pregnancy test. For two days, I thought she was pregnant and I was paralyzed with fear at the thought of becoming a father. And when Peyton told me she was pregnant with Sawyer, I felt devastated, trapped and angry. Don't get me wrong; I love Sawyer so much and it kills me knowing she isn't mine. Still, that doesn't change the fact that I was less than thrilled with the idea of fathering a child at the time. Thankfully, I was able to overcome those feelings and fall for the little girl sleeping peacefully in the corner of this very room.

But now...maybe it's because I'm older, somewhat more settled and...in love. Brooke and I are meant to be together. I am absolutely in love with that woman and the possibility of someone else coming along to bind us together forever feels _right_.

Am I crazy?

"A baby is a huge responsibility. You should be well-aware of that by now, Lucas! This doesn't just affect your own life. I don't know that you and Brooke are in a position to take this on. It's enough that she's stepped into being a mother to Sawyer. This will change everything, Lucas."

I don't care if it changes everything. Everything's changed so much in the past two weeks – would another baby really make that much of a difference? I'm not scared. I'm excited. I'm ecstatic. I'm getting ahead of myself. There might not actually be a baby...

"But, I suppose there's no point in overreacting until we find out for sure..." Mom sighs and her voice trails off; as if she finally sees the futility of scolding me at this point.

I finally raise my head and met Haley's gaze. She has a small smile on her face. I know she could read the excitement in my eyes. Haley's smile disappears as my mom turns to face us. An expression of disapproval settles across her features. But I can see it – the telltale twinkle in her dark brown eyes. Haley is just as wound up about the possibility of Brooke's pregnancy as I am.

My mother turns back to the stove and Haley's smile returns, wider than before. "You're excited, aren't you?" she asks in a low voice, so Mom can't hear us as she continues her lecture. Neither of us are listening at this point, anyway.

I close my eyes for a moment, remembering the night Brooke unknowingly revealed one of her secrets to me as I watched her bond with Sawyer.

"_Once, I thought I was going to have a baby...but that turned out to be a false alarm. Sometimes, when I felt lonely, I would lie awake and imagine what it would have been like if I'd actually had a baby; Lucas' baby...I've always wanted to be a mom."_

I feel a rush of pure joy coursing through my body at the thought of making one of Brooke's dreams come true. It's taking everything in me not to run upstairs and wake up Brooke totell her about Haley's suspicions. I want to hold her in my arms, look into her eyes and see the expression on her face when she realizes that she might finally be getting the family she always wanted. I open my eyes as Haley gently squeezes my arm.

"I'm just guessing, Luke...She needs to see a doctor."

I nod, running my fingers through my hair. A thought occurs to me. "Isn't it a little early for her to be having symptoms? If she is..." I trail off.

Haley shrugs. "Some women are more sensitive to all the hormones. It depends. Everybody's different. With Jamie, it took a few weeks before I noticed any symptoms; with this one -" She pauses, rubbing her stomach affectionately; something I could picture Brooke doing. "Well, I was sick and exhausted and irritable right off the bat. It's tough to say. You won't know until Brooke sees a doctor or takes a test, so you need to settle down and not get too hyped up."

"I know, I know. There could be other reasons behind her symptoms – stress, a virus, whatever. But..." I can no longer suppress the goofy grin that's slowly spreading across my face.

Haley is beaming at me, her eyes shining with tears. "God, I've missed seeing you like this Luke. Happy. It's been so long since you've smiled like this – not since high school."

"Hales..."

"I'm okay. It's the hormones." Haley explains, impatiently wiping the tears from her eyes. "I'm totally off my game. I should be lecturing you right along with Karen. I can't believe you and Brooke could be so stupid; but when I see how happy you guys are...I feel like it doesn't matter. It'll all work out somehow. Still-" She cuts herself off and smacks me on the back of the head again. I glare at her, rubbing the back of my head and she just shrugs, innocently. "Hormones."

My glare falls away as I pull Haley into a hug and give her a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you. I've got a feeling about this, Hales. This feels _right_."

Haley lets out a peal of laughter and I join in, giddy with relief that one person understands where I'm coming from and doesn't think I'm completely insane. However, that feeling doesn't last long...

"Lucas Eugene Scott! Have you listened to anything I've said in the last twenty minutes?" Mom's voice, sharpened with anger, cuts into to our laughter. Haley and I turn to look at her, feeling absurdly guilty; like we're a couple of five-year-olds caught with our hands in the cookie jar. My laughter immediately dies on my lips. Mom looks absolutely furious...an expression that hasn't been directed at me in years. Not since the pregnancy scare...

"Yeah, Ma, I've heard you." I reply quietly.

Haley slowly gets to her feet. "I'm, uh, going to go somewhere away from here..." she mumbles, leaving the room as quickly as she could.

Mom shakes her head and sighs in exasperation. "You might have heard me, but I feel like you're missing the point. You're the single parent of a two and a half month-old baby. And, now you might be having another child with another woman; a woman you have only been seeing for what – two, three weeks?"

"Ma, it's Brooke..."

"Yes, I know it's Brooke. It's always been Brooke for you. I've always known that, Haley's known it; hell, I'm sure even Jamie knows that! But, not very long ago, you were engaged to Peyton, the mother of my precious granddaughter. You were claiming for years that she was the one for you; then suddenly, you're all about Brooke! In two weeks, you and Brooke went from friends to lovers to an instant family. It's too damned fast!" My mother rubs her forehead as if she's getting a headache. "And, what happens if you decide that Brooke isn't the girl for you after all? What if you change your mind? Then, there are two other lives that are impacted. You're not in high school anymore, Lucas...your actions have real consequences. I just wish you'd think about these things, sometimes..."

My gaze falls on Sawyer, who's still fast asleep and completely oblivious to all the excitement and drama of the past couple of weeks. She has no idea her mother is dead. She has no idea that I'm not her biological father and that Julian is ready to snatch her away from the only parent she knows as soon as the results of the paternity test come back. She has no idea that I am more excited at the possibility of this unconfirmed pregnancy than I was when Peyton presented me with the reality of Sawyer's existence eight months ago.

I can feel Mom's blazing stare boring holes into the back of my head. Frustration and disappointment radiate off of her in waves.

Then it clicks.

I know what she's so upset about. The possibility that I've gone and knocked up two different women in such a short period of time reminds her of my dear old dad. I want to shout out the truth – that Peyton lied; Sawyer wasn't my daughter. But, I can't do that to her. Not now. It would kill her if she found out that Sawyer could be taken away from us at any time. Especially by a douchebag like Julian.

"Mom, I'm sorry for disappointing you, but I'm really happy about this..." I begin.

"You're still missing the point!" Mom slams the wooden spoon she was holding down on the counter and I flinch slightly. "I just can't believe that you and Brooke could be so irresponsible. You're not in high school anymore."

I open my mouth to defend myself, when I'm interrupted by the voice which never fails to send tingles down my spine each and every time I hear it.

"When were we irresponsible, Karen?" Mom and I turn around, to see Brooke standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Brooke!" Mom exclaimed.

"Babe, what are doing out of bed?" I quickly rush to her side, pulling her into a hug. She's still dressed in my shirt, but she's now wearing a pair of my sweats and her hair's pulled back from her face in a messy ponytail. She's gained back some colour and looks much healthier than she had an hour ago.

Brooke looks up at me like I'm insane. "I had a bit of a nap, but now I feel better. I'm actually hungry now. What's for dinner, Karen? It smells delicious."

"Spaghetti and meatballs...but are you sure you're up to it? Lucas said you were sick to your stomach earlier." Mom looks at Brooke, concerned.

"I'm fine, now." Her eyes flick back and forth between Mom and I. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" I raise my eyebrows innocently. I really don't want to add to her stress and I have a feeling that telling her we all think she's pregnant might push her over the edge.

Brooke's eyes narrow and she scrunches up her nose. God, she's so cute when she does that. But I also know what it means; she's puzzled or suspicious and she is not about to let it slide. "I mean, what did Karen mean by us being irresponsible? And something about high school."

"Oh? I don't remember..." I shoot a glance at Mom, who's looking a little guilty.

"Brooke, sweetie, it's no big deal, really."

Brooke approaches Mom. "Karen, you're like a mother to me and I don't want to disappoint you. Did I do something to offend you or-"

"Oh, god, no! Of course not, honey!" Mom gives Brooke a hug and I hide a smirk.

"Then, what were you and Lucas talking about?"

"It's nothing, Pretty Girl."

"The way you two are tap-dancing around my question, I think it's definitely more than nothing." Brooke crosses her arms and stares at us with a stubborn expression on her face. Shit. She's digging in her heels. Knowing Brooke Davis, she will not let it go until she gets to the bottom of this. She hates secrets and she knows that it might have something to do with her. She arches her eyebrow and frowns slightly. "So, I repeat: what's going on?"

What am I supposed to say? 'Hey, Brooke! Hales, Mom and I think you might be pregnant!' That was not the way to broach the subject; especially since Brooke's feeling overwhelmed to begin with. I shake my head and rub my neck. Mom just continues stirring her sauce. She's no help at all.

Just as I'm struggling to compose a response that'll satisfy Brooke's curiosity, Sawyer begins fussing and lets out this deafening shriek as she awakens from her nap. Even though she's a quiet baby for the most part, when she wakes up she wants the whole world to know it. I heave a sigh of relief, lifting her out of her swing. Saved by the bell – or in this case, saved by a screaming infant.

"_I stand before this faceless crowd. I wonder why I bother...So much control by so few; stumbling from one disaster to another."_

Brooke P.O.V.

There's something weird going on.

Lucas and Karen are behaving very strangely towards me. Like they know something I don't. Something about me; something that Lucas and I did or didn't do. I overheard Karen say that we had acted irresponsibly. I'm assuming she meant Lucas and I.

Neither one of them answer my question. As soon as Sawyer started wailing, Lucas rushed over to her and picked her up and Karen went back to stirring her sauce. I watch lovingly as Lucas cradles her in his arms. God, he looks so adorable with her. Being a father suits him so well. I wonder if one day I'll be watching him cuddle our own little baby – one with my dimples and his blue eyes. My eyes fill with tears, but I quickly blink them away before Lucas catches sight of them.

"I think she's hungry. Aren't you, little girl? Yes, you are. I think you are." Lucas babbles, in what I call his baby voice. I can't help giggling. Who would have thought that my Broody boy would ever act so goofy?

"I'll get her bottle ready." I start towards the fridge.

"Pretty Girl, do you think that's a good idea?" Lucas stops me, placing Sawyer in my arms. Gently, he guides me to a stool. "Sit down, you're not feeling well. I don't want you to overexert yourself. I'll get the bottle."

"Lucas, I told you, I'm fine!" I protest. But when I look into those pleading blue eyes, I back down. I mean, he kind of has a point. Just over an hour ago, he did walk in on me while I was violently puking and barely able to stand on my own. I heave a sigh and sit down, cuddling Sawyer close to my chest. "Daddy likes to overreact. You'll get used to it, sweetheart." I murmur, wondering if she will be with Luke and I long enough to know us as her family.

Then things get even weirder.

Shortly after Sawyer is fed and happy, Karen announces that dinner's ready.

I'm carrying a basket of garlic bread to the table when I hear a couple of high pitched squeals and the thundering footsteps of two approaching six year-olds. I try to brace myself, but before I know it, Jamie and Lily have both grabbed on to me and are hugging me tightly around my middle just like they did when I arrived home earlier.

"Auntie Brooke!"

"Brookie, you're all better!"

"We get to play now!"

"Lukie said you had to stay in bed!"

I just start laughing. I love how excited these children get when I'm around. "Well, I am better; we can play after dinner and I don't feel like staying in bed, no matter what Lukie says." I wink at Lucas, knowing how much he hates being called Lukie. Only his darling baby sister can get away with that. "And now that I'm rested up, guess what I feel like doing?"

"What?" They both ask, excitedly.

"I feel like tickling some crazy kids!" I squeal, leaning down and tickling them mercilessly.

Lily screams in delight and Jamie squirms out of my grasp and starts tickling me back. All three of us end up on the kitchen floor, laughing so hard we can barely catch our breaths.

Lucas is not smiling like I expected him to be. He is wearing a worried frown and he's doing the squinty thing with his eyes when he's concerned, or angry or sad. Usually, he laughs along with us and joins in the fun. Hmmm. Something's _definitely_ up.

"Okay, that's enough guys." Lucas says, sternly.

"But, Uncle Luke, we're just having fun." Jamie whines, stamping his foot.

"She started it, Lukie." Lily scowls at her big brother.

"Yeah, Lukie. We're just having fun..." I pout, trying to make him smile.

Lucas just shakes his head. "You two were being a little rough with Brooke. She's still getting better. Come on, it's time to eat." Lucas pulls Jamie and Lily away from me and scoops them both up in his arms. I giggle at their delighted shrieks and Lucas deposits them on their chairs.

I sit down at the table, with Lucas on my right and Sawyer laying in her bassinette on my left. For the first time today, I actually feel hungry, not disgusted by the sight and smell of food. In no time, my plate's piled high with spaghetti, meatballs, garlic bread and salad.

"Wow, Auntie Brooke. You're eating lots!" Jamie exclaims. "You've got more food than Uncle Luke!"

I just laugh, and roll my eyes when I catch Lucas gazing at my plate.

"Are you sure your stomach can handle all that food, Cheery?" He asks, in a worried tone. And, he's squinting again.

"I'm fine, Luke. Really." I rub his arm, reassuringly.

"Who would like some wine?" Andy offers. "We bought this in Italy a couple of years ago and were waiting for a special occasion to finally open it." He fills a glass for Karen and for himself.

"Oh, I'd love some. It's been a long time since I had a good Italian red." I hold out my glass to him.

"Well then, you're in for a treat. This is probably the best wine I've ever tasted – and the most expensive, too." He laughs and tips the bottle towards my glass.

"NO!" Lucas, Haley and Karen all shout out at once, startling us all. I watch helplessly as Andy, stunned by their shouts, involuntarily jerks his arm up. Wine spills out of the bottle and splashes on the table. Haley gets the worst of it, since some of the wine drips off the table and onto her lap. Good thing I'm just wearing Luke's sweats. Karen rushes over with extra napkins to clean up the mess while Lily and Jamie dissolve into giggles. Haley excuses herself and stalks off to the laundry room to find a clean pair of sweats.

"Okay, then, no wine for Brooke." Andy mumbles in puzzlement, looking heartbroken over the loss of so much expensive wine.

"I guess not." I frown, setting my glass back down on the table. "Care to explain that little outburst?"

Lucas clears his throat and shoots a glance at Karen. "Wine's a little too harsh for your stomach. How about some milk? You could use some calcium." Before I can say anything, he fills up my wine glass with milk and starts talking basketball with Andy.

As dinner progresses, I begin to notice more strange behaviour. Karen and Haley keep staring at me. When I meet their gazes, they look away. Haley is peppering me with questions about how I'm feeling. Am I tired? Am I nauseous? How long has this been going on? Have I been vomiting – seriously, Tutor-Mom, at the freaking dinner table? I finally snap at her, asking if she's a flipping doctor, now.

Then, Karen starts in on how I seem kind of irritable lately; maybe I should rest a little more. Of course I'm irritable! My best friend is dead, my goddaughter might be ripped away at any moment to live with some arrogant ass who's stalking me and Lucas, I have no idea where our relationship is headed, I'm living in a hostel and I still have a company to restructure. And it's all happening too damn fast. That's what I'm dying to say; what I feel like I need to say, but I just can't. Karen's like a mother to me and she's only concerned about my well-being. So, I swallow my frustration and nod, agreeing to take it easy this weekend and catch up on some sleep.

Lucas is extremely attentive. He asks me if I'm okay; do I need anything, am I comfortable...it's not that I don't love the attention, but it's a little much – I had a little stomach virus. It's not like I'm dying of some horrible disease, like Julia Roberts' character in Steel Magnolias. That was such a sad movie...Haley and I watched it last night and we just bawled throughout the last half-hour and the credits before Lucas finally brought us ice cream to cheer us up. I narrow my eyes...he's smiling at me...it's an expression I don't think I've ever seen on his face before. It's kind of secretive, like he knows something that he's dying to tell me...

By the time dinner's done and I finally extract myself from Lily and Jamie, it's after nine o'clock and it's time to put Sawyer down for the night. Except she doesn't want to go to bed. Every time I put her down in her crib, she starts to cry. Lucas had to run out to the store, and I'm too tired to trudge downstairs to ask for Karen's help.

"Oh, girly...I'm too tired for you to be fussing tonight." I sigh, sitting down in the rocking chair, with Sawyer in my arms. She nestles into her favourite spot, her head resting on my left breast. Right above my heartbeat. Haley says babies are comforted by the sound of their mother's heartbeats. Funny. I find myself comforted by Sawyer's steady heartbeat, too. I yawn and decide to rest my eyes for a moment, while waiting for Lucas to get back from his errand. I really want to know what's going on...

I'm awake ridiculously early. The sun isn't even up, yet. Lucas's arms are wrapped securely around my waist and his naked torso is pressed up against my back. I sigh contentedly, revelling in his tight embrace. He must have carried me back to bed last night since the last thing I remember is sitting in the nursery with Sawyer. I try to go back to sleep, but I'm wide awake. I try to pull away from him slightly, since I can't see the alarm clock display from my current position.

Lucas tightens his grip on me. "Relax, Pretty Girl," he mumbles in a sleepy voice. "Rest."

"I just want to know what time it is..."

"It's too early," he whispers, dropping a kiss on the top of my head. "Go back to sleep."

"I'm not tired. I think I was asleep before Jamie last night." I know I'm whining, but I really don't feel like being stuck in bed right now.

Lucas lets out a chuckle, which makes feel all tingly. I love Luke's morning voice – it's so low and sexy. "I think your body's trying to tell you something."

"That I'm old and pathetic?"

"That you need to take it easy and get more sleep."

"But, I'm not tired now, Broody."

He sighs and rolls over onto his back. I take the opportunity to raise my head and I see that it isn't even six a.m. I turn over and snuggle up against Luke, resting my head on his chest. I listen to the sound of his heart beat and close my eyes. His breathing deepens and evens out – my Broody's fallen asleep.

I raise my head and gaze at him. His features are completely relaxed, except for a slight smile gracing his lips. I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be right now. I love watching him sleep. He looks so peaceful, like the weight of the world isn't on his shoulders. Absentmindedly, I start tracing circles on his chest; marvelling at how hard his body still is. Lucas stirs under my touch and I smile wickedly, thinking that I've found a way to amuse myself and wake Lucas up. I start by placing butterfly kisses on his neck and shoulders. Slowly, I make my way downwards, towards his stomach. He lets out a guttural moan as I slip a hand underneath the waistband of his boxers. I bite my lip to stifle a giggle and I wrap my hand around his already hardening penis and begin stroking him, up and down.

"Pretty Girl, what are you doing to me?" He groans, running his fingers through my hair.

"What do you want me to do to you?" I whisper in his ear, increasing the pressure on his cock.

"Babe...you should be sleeping." Lucas protested, but his body's reactions betray him. He's completely hard now and he's unconsciously moving his hips in time with my strokes.

"Do you really want me to go back to sleep right now?" I gently bite his earlobe.

Lucas just grunts and turns his face towards mine, grabbing the back of my neck. He's kissing me roughly, but passionately. I smile against his lips - so much for me getting my rest. I abandon my hand-job and climb on top of him, straddling his hips. I grind my pelvis against his and he lets out another groan. His eyes are roaming my body hungrily, like I'm the only woman in the world he could ever want or need. He slides his hand up under my shirt and cups my breast firmly, rubbing his thumb back and forth over the nipple. I gasp sharply at the sensation. My nipple is instantly hard, just from his light and gentle touch and I feel a slight aching sensation underneath the pleasure. It's different...

"You like that, Pretty Girl?" Lucas whispers as I bite my lip and nod. "Feels a little sensitive?" His hand moves to my other breast and I have to lean away from his touch – I love what he's doing, but it's almost like sensory overload. I almost can't handle the sensation.

Lucas just smiles at me and his hand moves down to my abdomen. "I love you." His voice is husky as he stares into my eyes.

My eyes fill with tears at the expression on his face. No one has ever looked at me the way Luke does. I lean forward and kiss him tenderly on the lips. "I love you too, Luke." I lean my forehead against his, and he gently rubs my abdomen. I just want to enjoy the moment before –

Oh shit. I sit up, quickly. Not again. I practically jump off the bed and run into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me?

"_I've heard it all so many times before. It's all a dream to me now; a dream to me now..."_

Lucas P.O.V.

I shake my head, and climb out of bed. I kind of had a feeling this would happen. I follow Brooke into the bathroom and kneel down beside her. I hold her hair back as she vomits repeatedly. I rub her back and whisper soothing words in her ear. Finally, she slumps against me, resting her head on my chest. I kiss the top of her head and flush the toilet.

"You okay, Pretty Girl?" I ask, helping her to her feet. Brooke leans against the counter as I hand her a glass of water and a toothbrush. I brush her hair out of her eyes and see how pale she is. The colour she'd gained back the night before has completely drained away after this latest bout of nausea.

She shakes her head and takes a few sips of water. "I'm scared, Luke." She finally whispers. "I don't know what's wrong with me – I was fine just now." Brooke starts brushing her teeth. I meet her gaze in the mirror and see the tears already gathering in her pretty hazel eyes...

I stand behind her and gather her in my arms, resting my chin on the top of her head. "There's nothing wrong with you, babe. I'm sure of that."

"How can you be sure?" she asked, softly.

"Just give me a second." I leave the bathroom and find what I'm looking for on top of the dresser. Last night, I realized I couldn't wait to get an appointment for Brooke with Haley's doctor. I also knew there was no way in hell Brooke would set foot in a hospital without a really good reason. I look at my reflection in the mirror, wondering if I'm ready to know for sure.

Brooke's just finished brushing her teeth when I re-enter the bathroom. She looks up at me, curiously. "I think I might know why you've been feeling under the weather lately." I hesitate for a second before placing the box on the counter. I slide it in front of her and nervously await her reaction.

"_And if we're lost, then we are lost together. Yeah, if we're lost; we are lost together."_

Brooke P.O.V.

A stare down at the object Lucas put on the counter, in shock. I look up at him, and he's staring at me intensely, his icy blue eyes filled with concern.

A pregnancy test.

"A pregnancy test?" I repeat out loud. "Where did you get this?"

"I, uh, went out to the drugstore last night." Lucas rubs the back of his neck.

"Oh." I reply, softly.

"Before dinner, Haley suggested that you might be pregnant. She thought that may be why you're feeling sick. I mean, it makes sense...the tiredness, the nausea, sensitive nipples..." Lucas puts his arms around my waist and leans his forehead against mine. "And we've been making love constantly for the last two or three weeks...without protection. Unless you're on the pill?"

I close my eyes and let out a shaky breath. "No, I'm not on the pill." A tear escapes my closed eyelashes and runs down my cheek. How could we have been so reckless, so stupid? Suddenly, it dawns on me that this was what Karen was referring to last night; why she thought we were irresponsible. She was right. Karen'll hate me...I've ruined Lucas' life.

Lucas wipes away my tears and pulls me close to him. "It's okay, Brooke. No matter what this test says, I'm not going anywhere."

I nod, knowing that this is true. "Okay." I pull away from him and open the box. Lucas rubs my back and leaves the room once again to give me some privacy. I read the directions – which aren't that complicated; hold the stick, pee on it and wait - thinking about the possible outcomes. Positive or negative. What result did I want to see? I stare at myself in the mirror.

Two weeks ago, I knew what lay ahead of me. Clothes Over Bros was my baby, my reason for getting up in the morning, what I poured my heart and soul into. Now, my priorities have changed. Lucas is now my reason for getting up in the morning. Sawyer, Jamie and Lily have captured my heart and soul. I might be pregnant with a baby of my own. For the first time ever, Clothes Over Bros is the least of my concerns...it's scary.

Fuck it. I need to know.

"_In the silence of this whispered night, I listen only to your breath. And in that second of a shooting star, somehow it all makes sense."_

Lucas P.O.V.

I'm pacing the room anxiously, waiting for my Pretty Girl to tell me whether she's carrying my baby or not. My heart's hammering in my chest and my stomach's churning. It's what I want, right? Last night, I was so sure that this is what I wanted...to see Brooke give birth to my child; our child. My hands are shaking. I feel lightheaded. We're standing on the precipice of a moment where everything's about to change. If my feeling is correct, our lives will never be the same. I take a deep breath and exhale, hearing the bathroom door open behind me.

"Lucas?" Brooke's voice is barely above a whisper.

I spin around to face her. She looks so young, wearing my oversized t-shirt, biting her lip, her eyes betraying her vulnerable state. "Babe, what does it say?"

"I, uh, can't look." Brooke holds out the test, face down. Her hands are shaking, too. I take the test from her and flip it over. I close my eyes and take another deep breath.

I look down at the test in my hand. I stare at the results for a few moments, processing the result.

"Luke?"

I look up and meet Brooke's eyes. They're more green than hazel right now. I see so many emotions in those depths; fear, excitement, love, anxiety. Suddenly, it all comes into focus. We're going to be fine. Now to convince Brooke. "I heard you...the first night Sawyer was here," I start. "How you wished you were pregnant back in junior year; that you wished you had my child."

Brooke's cheeks flush a light pink colour. "I didn't know you heard that."

I just nod. "I did...and I promised myself that one day I would give you a baby; my baby, our baby." I step towards her and wrap my arms around her waist and kiss the tip of her nose. "It looks like that day has come, sooner that I could ever have imagined."

Brooke's eyes widen and her lips part, in surprise. "Am I..."

I can't stop the grin from spreading across my face. "Yes, Pretty Girl. The test is positive. We're having a baby."

"Oh my god. I'm pregnant." Brooke whispers in a dazed voice. "I'm having your baby, Luke."

I place my hand on her abdomen. "Our baby."

"Our baby." And she smiles, her dimples deepening. "You're going to be a daddy again."

I lean down and capture her lips in a passionate kiss. Just hearing my pretty girl call me daddy makes my heart race. Brooke laces her fingers with mine and deepens the kiss. For one brief moment, all is right with us and with our world.

"_And I want all the world to know that your love's all I need...All that I need. And, if we're lost then we are lost together. Yeah, if we're lost then we are lost together."_

**I really hope the wait was worth it for this chapter. Let me know what you think – good, bad or ugly! Thanks to those who reviewed last time – you guys rock! Until next time...**


	27. Saved

**Happy autumn, everyone. If you're like me, you're sad that summer's over. I don't get another vacation break until March if you can believe it! Blah. So, this may mean my updates may slow down since work's gonna get crazy...or it might mean I'll get so frustrated, I'll need an excuse to escape the madness and become an updating fool! I've determined it's best not to make any promises when it comes to updating. I'm aiming for once a month since I would like to finish this story before I hit sixty years of age. **

**This chapter's got a bit of fluff, lots Brucas interaction and an unexpected visitor. In other words, something for everyone.**

**Thanks again to all the wonderful people who reviewed the last chapter – I really do appreciate anything you have to say – even if it's a 'get your ass in gear' type of message. And silent readers, I haven't forgotten you; thanks so much for reading!**

* * *

**Chapter 27 – Saved**

"_I am breathless from the mercy of a smile. I am standing on the brink of the most perfect love. Oh, I am saved...I believe I am not going to be like I was. I have changed;  
I am saved." – Jann Arden_

Brooke groaned as she reached over and flushed the toilet. She sat back, leaning against the bathtub to catch her breath, completely spent by twenty minutes of vomiting.

"So are you done yet, babe? Only a Scott would cause this much trouble." Brooke murmured, stroking her still flat stomach, a hint of a smile crossing her face in spite of her current misery. How could something so tiny possibly be responsible for causing so much havoc in her body? It felt like all she'd been doing the last three weeks was puking and sleeping. Her sense of smell had become incredibly sensitive and it seemed like anything and everything made her sick to her stomach. The culprit this time appeared to be Karen's crab cakes. Her stomach lurched once more at the memory...She took a deep breath and turned her thoughts towards less stomach-churning subjects.

The door to the bathroom slowly opened and Lucas peeked inside. "Hey, Pretty Girl." He said in a soft voice.

Brooke raised her head and gave him a small smile. "Your baby is a troublemaker. Damn Scott genes."

Lucas returned her smile and sat down beside her, handing her a glass of ginger ale. Brooke accepted it gratefully and took a tentative sip. This was becoming a daily ritual for them. Brooke would get sick, then Lucas would appear with some ginger ale and stay with her until she felt better. Usually, they would just cuddle together on the bathroom floor and talk. It was kind of strange, but they had some pretty in-depth conversations sitting on the bathroom floor.

"Oh, like those Davis genes are oh-so-innocent." Lucas smirked, wrapping his arms around her, his left hand rested lightly on her stomach. "What set baby off this time?"

"Crab cakes." Brooke grimaced.

Lucas winced sympathetically. "Poor Pretty Girl." He kissed her on the cheek and Brooke leaned back against him, taking a few more small sips of her ginger ale. "I'm sorry you have to go through all of this, babe."

"Only another six weeks until I'm out of the first trimester. The doctor said it'll get better after that. I hope she's right." Brooke closed her eyes and nestled her head into the crook of Lucas' neck, breathing in his scent.

"What are you doing, crazy girl?" Lucas chuckled, running his fingers through her hair.

"You smell so good." Brooke sighed, inhaling deeply again.

"Thanks, I guess?"

"I love your scent...and baby loves it too." She whispered in his ear.

"I'm glad baby's happy. And I'm even more thrilled that I don't make you want to puke."

"Hey, you should take that as a compliment. Everything else in the world makes me want to puke so there must be something special about you."

They were quiet for a minute, as Lucas continued rubbing soothing circles on Brooke's stomach and she snuggled into him. "Can we just crawl into bed and cuddle for the rest of the day?" Brooke pouted.

"There's nothing else I'd rather do right now." Lucas sighed, longingly. "Unfortunately, there's a living room full of people downstairs. Haley would kill us if we ducked out early."

"Did anyone notice I've been missing in action?"

Lucas shrugged. "Not really. Everyone's too busy fawning over my niece to notice."

"For once in my life, I'm glad I'm not the center of attention." Lucas snorted, but Brooke chose to ignore him, turning her thoughts towards her newest godchild. "Elizabeth Brooke Scott...She's so beautiful." Brooke smiled dreamily, thinking of the newborn's raven hair and sapphire eyes. "Can you believe it's already been a whole week since she was born?"

"No. Can you believe Hales was in labour for almost two days?"

Brooke shuddered at the memory. "The screaming and the blood...ugh."

"Thank God Nathan showed up when he did or my good hand would be out of commission right now, too." Lucas flexed his left hand thoughtfully, remembering Haley's iron grip when the contractions got to be too much for her.

"And that would be tragic...you wouldn't be able to make me my chocolate chip pancakes." They laughed and fell into silence, lost in their own thoughts.

"Broody...I'm scared."

"Of what, baby?"

Brooke raised her head from Lucas' shoulder and looked in his eyes. They were so blue, today – like the summer sky. His expression was calm and he smiled at her reassuringly as he caressed her upper arm. He seemed so strong...so sure of everything. She couldn't detect one ounce of fear or doubt in those eyes. She rested her head on his shoulder again. "In less than eight months, we're going to have a baby, Luke." He squeezed her close to him at those words and even though she couldn't see his face, she knew he was smiling. "A little person that we made; that we're responsible for. I'm scared I'm not ready for this –"

"Brooke, you are one of the strongest people I know. You're a wonderful mother to Sawyer. You'll be a wonderful mother to this baby. We're going to be just fine. You'll see."

"Aw, Broody. You're so cute...yeah, I'm a little nervous about what kind of mother I'll be, but I figure I'll just wing it and the kids will be fine. I mean, I've got to be better than Victoria. Anyone would be a better mother than her." Brooke sighed. "That's not what I'm scared of."

Lucas' brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed, slightly. "Oh...Okay, then what are you scared of?"

"Child-birth." Brooke hid face in his chest, worried that he'd laugh at her fears or think she was shallow. "It's just...after seeing what Haley had to go through..."

He raised an eyebrow quizzically. It never occurred to him that she would be scared of giving birth. Brooke was so brave, nothing ever scared her. He was so focused on what would happen after the baby's arrival, he'd forgotten what Brooke would have to go through for the baby **to** arrive. Of course she was scared. After witnessing most of Haley's torturous labour last week, he didn't blame her. He tried to find the right words to soothe her fears, but he knew they would be inadequate coming from him, a lowly male. So instead, he tilted her chin upwards until her gaze met his. He lightly stoked her cheekbone and leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Everything will be fine, Brooke. I'll be right beside you the whole time. I mean, it's going to hurt and there's nothing I can do to prevent it. But just think; at the end of it, we'll have our baby. Besides, I'm sure they'll give you lots of drugs." He added, jokingly.

She beamed up at him, dimples deepening. "You think there's a way they could just knock me out at the start so I can skip the whole birth-thing and wake up with a cute baby in my arms?"

"I'll make a point of asking the doctor at your next appointment." Lucas laughed and kissed her again.

"Do you think anyone suspects anything?" So far, besides herself and Lucas, only four people knew about the baby: Karen, Haley, Nathan and her doctor, of course. They'd decided to wait until she was past the first trimester to tell anyone else.

Lucas shook his head. "Honestly? No. I don't think we have anything to worry about."

Brooke shifted uncomfortably, as a new wave of nausea washed over her. She took a couple of deep breaths and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Baby acting up again?" Brooke nodded and Lucas rubbed her back. "It's okay; take your time, Pretty Girl." He murmured in her ear.

They were quiet, as Brooke waited for the nausea to pass. Finally, she opened her eyes and Lucas passed her the ginger ale he brought earlier. She took a couple of tentative sips, feeling relieved as it seemed to settle her stomach.

"I am so glad we're here in Tree Hill. If we were dealing with this in New York, it'd be all over the tabloids by now." Brooke rubbed her forehead. Normally, she didn't care what people thought of her. But now...things were different now. There was more at stake.

Lucas raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You think? I mean, why would anyone care?"

Brooke had to laugh at his naïveté. Even though Lucas had some exposure to fame as a published author, he didn't live under the same microscope she did. While she wasn't a household name yet, she was well-known in the fashion world; where people were known to use any means necessary to destroy the competition. Since Clothes Over Bros was thriving, her rivals were just waiting for her to slip up and take a fall.

"Oh, Broody...you always assume the best of everyone and I love you for it. But, it's a whole different world up there." She looked into his eyes and hid a smile at how perplexed he seemed. He really had no idea why anyone would find their relationship interesting. She shouldn't be surprised; it wasn't like she really had the chance to really tell him about how cutthroat the industry was. It was part of the reason she wanted to take a step back. "Your first book was all about Peyton and your epic love for her. People loved the story...they'll certainly be interested to know all the details of our relationship and how you ended up with the 'footnote'. It'll look pretty bad to most people that I got knocked up by my best friend's fiancé before her body was even buried. I mean, even Karen wasn't exactly thrilled about it at first, and she knows our history – our true history. Imagine what the rest of the world would have to say about it, without knowing the whole story."

Lucas tightened his jaw. "I don't care what the rest of the world thinks."

"But, I kind of do...I have to. Imagine what would my board of directors say if this got out? Image is everything in my line of work. They'd probably ask me to step down or maybe even buy me out."

"They can't do that, Brooke. It's your company. You built it." Lucas insisted.

"It doesn't matter, Luke. The board is concerned with protecting their investment. They don't care about me as a person. To them, I'm a commodity; a brand." Brooke shrugged. "If it comes to that, I'll fight them tooth and nail before I let them take everything away from me. Truthfully, I'm more worried about what Julian would have to say."

"Julian? What the hell does he have to do with this?" Lucas muttered angrily.

Brooke rubbed his arm. "I just...He said he's staying in town to keep an eye on us. I really don't want him to give him any ammunition against us if he does try to take Sawyer away from us."

Lucas heaved an angry sigh and leaned his head against the wall. "You mean when; _when_ he hauls us to court to gain custody of Sawyer."

She stared down at the ground, biting her lip. In her heart, Brooke was resigned to the possibility that Julian was Sawyer's biological father. Even though the paternity tests haven't yet arrived, she just had a bad feeling about the whole mess... In her mind, Julian was already plotting to take to take Sawyer away from her and Luke. All he needed was to cast doubt on their character and this unplanned pregnancy would definitely accomplish that. She didn't want to lose the family she had formed...she wouldn't be able to handle it.

"At least we should know one way or the other in a couple of days." She murmured sadly.

Lucas just nodded and Brooke bit down harder on her lip, trying to suppress her tears. She wiped at her eyes and Lucas noticed the gesture. Without saying a word, he drew her into his arms and pulled her up onto his lap. Brooke wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

"How're you feeling, Pretty Girl?" Lucas finally broke the silence.

"Better. I think your baby has decided to stop being mean to me."

He let out a low chuckle. "I think we should get back down to the party. People are probably wondering where we've disappeared to."

Brooke raised an eyebrow and smirked at her boyfriend. "I bet they all think we're off having a quickie somewhere."

Lucas laughed. "I wish."

Brooke straddled Lucas' lap and nestled into the crook of his neck once again. "That could be arranged."

"Crazy girl." Lucas murmured, in a low voice. "Maybe tonight if baby settles down, I'll take you up on that. For now, we actually do have to get downstairs. It's almost time to put Sawyer down for her nap."

Brooke brightened at the mention of her goddaughter. "Okay, just let me get cleaned up, first." Lucas helped Brooke to her feet. She brushed her teeth, while Lucas hovered behind her, watching her get ready with a brooding expression on his face.

"You still look kind of pale, babe. You sure you're okay?" Lucas frowned.

Brooke rolled her eyes at him, playfully. "You worry too much, Broody. A splash of cold water, a little blush and I'll look good as new." Her glance fell on his right arm and she wrinkled her nose. "I hate that thing. It's gross." Brooke muttered, plucking at his cast which was admittedly worse for wear.

Lucas just raised an eyebrow and gazed at her doubtfully. "Don't worry, it'll be gone soon. The doctor's taking it off this week. Trust me; I hate it more than you do." He was about to point out that she neglected to answer his question when the bathroom door opened slightly and his nephew peered inside.

"Auntie Brooke, Mom wants to know if you're okay. She says you've been gone too long." Jamie's eyes widened when he caught sight of his uncle. "Uncle Luke? Why are you two in the bathroom together? Are you doing the nasty?" He asked innocently.

Lucas and Brooke exchanged a horrified glance in the mirror.

"Why – what makes you ask that?" Lucas asked, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, while Brooke raised a hand to her mouth, trying to muffle her giggles.

Jamie shrugged. "Daddy just said that's probably what you guys were doing. What's that mean anyway?"

"Um..." Lucas looked at Brooke blankly.

"Hey, Jimmy-Jam. That's something your parents should tell you all about. They're experts on doing the nasty. Trust me, they'll be able to explain it better than your Uncle Luke and I can." Brooke winked at Lucas, who grinned at her in admiration.

"You'll be down right away?" Jamie frowned. "No kissing? Or making babies? There are too many babies around here anyway. We don't need any more."

"He knows about making babies, but has no clue what 'doing the nasty' means?" Brooke murmured in disbelief.

Lucas coughed, to cover his laughter and placed a hand on the small of Brooke's back. "We'll be right behind you, J-Luke." He told his nephew as he and Brooke stared lovingly at each other. Lucas leaned his forehead against hers. "Have I told you lately how happy you've made me?"

"Not in the last hour or so..." Brooke whispered and gave him a chaste peck on the lips.

Jamie caught sight of the kiss and heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Maybe you guys should just come with me. You're getting all mushy." He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

Secretly, Jamie was pleased that his godparents made each other so happy. Uncle Luke didn't smile or laugh very much when Aunt Peyton was around and they never hugged or kissed or looked into each other's eyes the way his mom and dad did. But Auntie Brooke made his uncle very happy and this made Jamie happy. Even if they were being gross. He hoped they'd get married and move to Tree Hill so he could see them every day forever. But, he did not want them making any more babies; at least not yet – and only if they made a boy. There were just too many girls around here for his taste.

* * *

Rachel returned to Tree Hill five weeks ago to bury Peyton Sawyer. Her plan was to get in, help Brooke, catch up with a couple of old friends – well, just Mouth, really – and get the hell out. A month has passed since the funeral. Yet, here she was, standing in Naley's living room, sipping on a glass of Chardonnay and watching Nathan proudly showing off his newborn daughter to adoring friends and family. Rachel sighed. '_Why am I still here?' _she wondered. Brooke and Lucas were all blissed out, Naley have spawned once again and she played Cupid in introducing her new friend Millie to her old friend, Mouth. She'd even helped Jake pack up the remnants of his and Jenny's life in Raleigh. Her work here was done. She should be hauling her fine ass back to New York for the Clothes Over Bros holiday show in two weeks time. There was nothing left for her in this dead-end town. Not that there was much more waiting for her back in New York. Rachel frowned and took another gulp of wine.

Since high school, Rachel lived a fairly shallow existence. She found the life she thought she wanted; fame, fortune, glamour, men falling all over themselves to be with her, awesome clothes and a couple of good girlfriends who had her back. That's all she really needed. She wasn't missing out on anything. She was happy...or so she thought. At least until she returned to this goddamned town and met _him_.

Now, she realized she wanted more; she _needed_ more. Something real. Rachel wasn't exactly sure what that was, but in order to figure it out, she'd need to make a major change and this scared her. She rolled her eyes at herself. What a time to have an existential crisis.

Rachel looked around the living room, observing everyone. Nathan was cradling little Elizabeth, showing her off to Skills and the other river court guys. Jake, Andy and Mouth were talking about basketball, as usual. Couldn't the men in this town talk about anything else? Karen was pacing around the room with Sawyer. The baby was fussy since Brooke abruptly left the room almost an hour ago followed by Lucas a short time later. Rachel smirked slightly. They were totally having sex upstairs.

Haley and Deb sat on the couch next to her, chatting about diaper rash or some other baby-related crap that Rachel had no interest in. She pretended to listen to their mind-numbing conversation, while trying desperately not to fall asleep from sheer boredom. Rachel tried to stifle a yawn, but failed miserably. Deb shot a glare at her and shifted position on the couch, so her back was to Rachel, effectively cutting the redhead out of the conversation with her daughter-in-law. Rachel rolled her eyes and pulled a face at the back of Deb's head.

She excused herself, semi-politely and wandered towards the window. On her way over, she turned her head and met a pair of warm brown eyes she'd gotten to know rather well over the past month. Jake was smiling at her, his eyes twinkling with amusement. She shrugged her shoulders and returned his smile.

"Having fun?" he mouthed, his smile widening as she raised her glass and took a long sip. Her stomach did a small flip as he winked at her. Rachel quickly looked away, but seconds later, her gaze was drawn back to his like a magnet. Why couldn't she stop staring at him? God, she was pathetic.

"Hmmm. You're totally having eye sex with hot daddy Jake." A raspy voice whispered in her ear.

Rachel barely batted an eyelash as she tore her gaze away from Jake. "At least I wasn't upstairs having actual sex with hot daddy Lucas in the middle of a baby shower. Slut."

"Bitch."

"Whore."

"Girls, there are children, here." Deb hissed disapprovingly as she walked by.

"Sorry, Deb." Brooke apologized, while Rachel flashed a fake smile at Nathan's mother. Deb just shook her head and continued on towards the kitchen.

"Is it me or was she more fun when she was a pill-popping gun-nut?" Rachel commented before returning her attention to her friend. "So? How was it?"

"How was what?" Brooke asked in an innocent tone, averting her eyes.

"Your afternoon quickie with Lucas." Rachel took another sip of wine and rolled her eyes.

"Ha. We didn't have sex. Far from it. We were just talking."

"Mmmhmm. I believe you." Rachel's tone implied anything but. "Although, it wouldn't be the first time you snuck off for some carnal delights. You guys were always kinda kinky. I thought you'd want to cross 'baby shower' off your fuck-it list."

Brooke's eyes widened and she placed her hands on her hips. "A _what_ list?"

"You know, like a bucket list, except you list places where you want to fuck before you die." Rachel replied, with a mischievous smile.

"You always come up with the craziest shit. Maybe you should be the writer." Brooke muttered absently, her eyes scanning the room.

Rachel paused, examining her friend. "Are you feeling okay? You look kind of tired and pasty...just like before I left for Raleigh."

Brooke avoided Rachel's troubled gaze. "Oh, that. There's this virus going around. It just takes a lot out of me."

"Have you been to a doctor? Because this doesn't seem normal. I hope you've been looking after yourself."

"Yes, Mother Rachel. I've been to the doctor. I'm just supposed to drink lots of fluids, get plenty of rest and ride it out."

"Has Luc-ass been looking after you?" Rachel retorted, sarcastically.

Brooke sighed and looked at the redhead reproachfully. "Don't be that way, Rach. Lucas has been wonderful."

"He hasn't been planning any more last minute trips without telling you?"

"Rachel –"

Rachel exhaled loudly and turned towards Brooke. "I'm sorry, Brookie. I just have a hard time trusting him with you. He always seems to fuck it up. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"I won't get hurt. Lucas has been amazing." Brooke insisted, in a soft voice.

Rachel followed Brooke's gaze across the room to where Lucas stood, cuddling Sawyer to his chest while he chatted with Karen. She glanced at her friend and took note of the radiant expression on her face as she stared at the older Scott brother. Brooke looked happy; happier than she had been in ages.

"Okay," Rachel acquiesced in a quiet voice. She didn't want to fight with Brooke; especially not over Lucas. "As long as you're happy. That's all that matters." Rachel was caught off-guard when Brooke pulled her into a tight hug.

"I _am_ happy. So happy, you don't even know." Brooke drew away, and Rachel caught a glimpse of tears shimmering in her eyes before she rapidly blinked them back. "Well, it's about time to put Sawyer down for her nap. We'll talk later, okay?" Brooke flashed a dimpled smile at her and walked away, towards Lucas and Sawyer.

Rachel just smiled, uncertainly. There was something Brooke wasn't telling her – she was sure of it. She was a little hurt that Brooke didn't confide in her; they usually told each other everything. She felt like they were drifting apart and maybe she no longer had a place in the new life Brooke was building for herself with Lucas. She was so engrossed in her thoughts, she didn't notice Millie's approach until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Rachel jumped, nearly spilling her wine.

"Jeez, Millie. Give me a heart attack why don't you!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Sorry, Rach." Millie allowed a tiny smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I just got a call from New York. There's a problem." She whispered in Rachel's ear.

Rachel raised her eyebrows at the urgency in Millie's tone. "What's up?" She darted a quick glance at Brooke, who was laughing at something Lucas was saying to her.

Millie followed Rachel's glance and shook her head. "She doesn't know. I'm hoping we can handle it ourselves."

"Okay..." Rachel said, slowly. "How big of a problem?" _And I'm involved how? _She added, silently.

"I'm not sure...big enough for them to be calling me at 7 pm on a Sunday. I haven't been given any details." Millie sighed and Rachel noted how tired her friend seemed and her irritation at once again being dragged into business matters, ebbed away. "I need to get back to the hotel and to my laptop. Tatiana was supposed to be sending me some information by email and my stupid Blackberry's on the fritz."

Rachel darted another quick glance at Brooke. She gulped down the last of her wine and set the empty glass on an end-table. "I'll just let Jake know we're leaving and I'll meet you at the door."

As Millie walked off, Rachel heaved a sigh and threw another glance in Brooke's direction, wondering what disaster was about to strike at Clothes Over Bros. She hoped it was something minor – Brooke already had enough on her plate. Still, Rachel needed to talk to her and soon...but it wasn't meant to be today.

* * *

"_Go to sleep little darling, close your eyes. Hopefully in the morning, the sun will rise. Quiet, my pretty. Don't trouble your sweet head. Hush, hush, close your eyes..."_

Nathan heard his wife's soulful voice echoing throughout the hallway as he made his way down the staircase after tucking Jamie in for the night. He leaned against the doorframe to the living room, taking in the peaceful scene in front of him. Haley sat in the overstuffed armchair, their six-day old daughter resting against her chest, singing a haunting lullaby. Elizabeth wasn't quite asleep yet, but she was close. Nathan watched her eyes slowly closing before snapping back open. The baby closed and opened her eyes several times, as if she was scared of missing something. Lucas lay on the couch across from his sister-in-law, listening intently to her song. Sawyer was sprawled across his chest and Brooke was nestled into Lucas' side, both fast asleep. Nathan smiled, noting his brother's hand resting protectively on Brooke's stomach. He walked into the living room and perched on the armrest of Haley's chair. He gently stroked Elizabeth's soft black hair, as Haley continued singing. He exchanged a glance with his brother and saw his contentment reflected in his brother's ocean-blue eyes. This was what he lived for; enjoying these rare quiet moments with his family.

Haley smiled up at her husband as she finished her song. Nathan leaned down to give her a kiss when the sound of the doorbell shattered the tranquility. Lucas' head shot up and he frowned as Sawyer stirred and began wailing. Seconds later, Elizabeth's cries joined her cousin's.

"Who the hell could that be?" Nathan growled, reluctantly getting to his feet.

Haley shrugged. "Maybe someone forgot something. Or it could be your mom coming back to have another cuddle with 'her baby.' She was never that possessive with Jamie when he was little." She began rubbing soothing circles on her daughter's back and whispering soothing words in the newborn's ear.

"Well, tell whoever it is that they get the job of settling Sawyer down after waking her up." Lucas groaned as he struggled to extract himself from Brooke's embrace as Nathan walked towards the front door.

Haley glanced down at Brooke's still-sleeping form. "Wow. This pregnancy's taking a lot out of her if she can sleep through this racket."

Lucas laughed, shaking his head at his Pretty Girl. There would be no quickie tonight for them. He stood up, rocking Sawyer back and forth, trying to soothe her back to sleep before she woke up Brooke.

Nathan heaved a sigh and entered the foyer as the doorbell rang a second time. "Yeah, yeah, don't get your panties in a bunch," he grumbled, opening the front door.

He stared in disbelief and stood perfectly still, every muscle in his body frozen in place. It was as if someone had dumped an ice cold bucket of water over his head. The shock swiftly gave way to an overpowering fury. He felt like his inner core was on fire, that's how powerful that emotion was. It frightened him how quickly the anger and hate rose within him. He hadn't felt a rage so intense since the last time he laid eyes on the person who'd so rudely disturbed the serene environment of his home.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Nathan spat out, injecting his tone with years of anger, hurt and pain.

The man standing before him smirked. "Now, now, Nathan. Is that any way to greet your dear old dad?"

* * *

**The lullaby Haley was singing came from the song **_**Hush**_** by Ndidi Onukwulu. **


	28. Father of Mine

**Hi, sorry about the long absence. Last month, there was a birth and a death and a lot of insanity at work. And now it's almost Christmas! What the heck? This chapter was difficult for me to write - I hope I did the return of Dan justice. He's such an ass...I love writing him.**

**I'd like to dedicate this chapter to three people: Superstargirl7 (who requested an update on this story - like over a month ago), dianehermans (for PM-ing me and telling me she missed me) and marymary567 (who had some very kind words for me in a PM last weekend).**

**As always, thank you all for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me. Next up will be Underneath it All - not sure when...hopefully next weekend depending on how far I get with my Christmas shopping...**

* * *

**Chapter 28 – Father of Mine**

"_Father of mine...Tell me, where did you go? Yeah, you had the world inside your hand; but you did not seem to know. Father of mine... Tell me, what do you see? When you look back at your wasted life and you don't see me?" - Everclear_

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Nathan spat out, injecting his tone with years of anger, hurt and pain.

The man standing before him smirked. "Now, now, Nathan. Is that any way to greet your dear old dad? Especially since I hear you've made me a grandpa for a third time...and I'm only forty-one years old. Kind of makes me proud that my boys are so eager to carry on the family name." Dan Scott raised an eyebrow. "I suppose my invitation to the baby shower was lost in the mail?"

Nathan stared at the man who called himself his father, his expression a mask of indifference while his pent-up fury simmered beneath the surface. This was the man who terrorized him throughout his childhood, who pushed him to the point of breaking. The same man who told him to leave his pregnant wife behind in order to pursue his dreams, who refused to acknowledge his older son for years only to nearly kill him by withholding life-saving medication. The same man who murdered his uncle for no fucking reason and showed no remorse for his actions. Still the same old charismatic Dan Scott who charmed enough people into thinking he was a reformed man, which resulted in him being granted full parole after only three years in prison. The asshole murders his brother in cold blood and only gets three years...Nathan clenched his jaw at the memory. Lucas was devastated and Karen ran to the other side of the world to escape the injustice of it all.

And here was, showing up on his doorstep after two fucking years, demanding the right to play grandfather to the grandchildren he never wanted.

Nathan shook his head slowly, in disbelief. The bastard hadn't changed one bit.

"I emancipated myself when I was sixteen years-old. You have no right to call yourself my dad anymore." Nathan growled. "Answer the question; what the hell are you doing here? And don't give me any of your 'I miss my family bullshit.'"

Dan's smirk faded and was replaced by a wounded expression. He placed his hand over his heart. "I'm hurt. I just wanted to see my sons, meet my grandchildren, and of course, pay my respects to your brother over the passing of his fiancée." Dan sighed and shook his head, regretfully. "Such a tragedy. Lucas must be devastated – the whole world knows how much he loved Peyton."

"Considering the funeral was over a month ago, I find it hard to believe you were all that torn-up about it." Nathan retorted.

Dan sighed, mournfully. "I had some business to attend to. I'd just entered into a new venture and unfortunately, I couldn't get away. My partner wanted to ensure that our plans were set into motion according to schedule. She's quite the taskmaster, if you know what I mean." Dan winked, lecherously.

Nathan snorted and rolled his eyes, ignoring his father's innuendo. "Who in their right mind would go into business with you?"

Dan chuckled. "You'd be surprised. I've got friends in high places."

Nathan glowered at the older man. "Thanks for the unwanted status update. Now, get the hell off my property."

Dan gazed up at his son beseechingly and Nathan allowed a small smirk, satisfied that he was finally taller than the man who once overshadowed his life.

"Nathan," he began. "I came a long way to see you and Lucas...and my grandchildren." He reached down and lifted a messenger bag that rested beside his feet. "I come bearing gifts."

"As if that changes anything." Nathan replied. "Besides, it's after nine o'clock at night; Jamie's already in bed and I'm sure as hell not waking him up to meet his sociopathic grandfather. So, I suggest you either state your business or get the hell away from me and my family."

He locked eyes with his father, refusing to let the older man intimidate him. Nathan wanted answers and he was going to get them even if it took him all night to stare Dan down.

* * *

Lucas paced around the living room, trying to calm Sawyer down. "Shhh. It's okay, sweetheart," he murmured, as her cries softened. "Go back to sleep...Daddy's here."

He glanced over at Brooke, who was still fast asleep on the couch, oblivious to the disruption. He smiled, his eyes tracing the peaceful expression on her face. She looked angelic when she was asleep.

"I just put Elizabeth down for the night. She zonked out as soon as she was out of hearing range of her cousin's screaming." Haley said laughingly as she entered the room. She stood beside her brother-in-law and followed his gaze to the sleeping brunette. "Looks like it doesn't bother Brooke, though."

Lucas chuckled, as he lowered a now-sleeping Sawyer into a bassinette. "She's wiped. Too much excitement today, I guess."

"And she was sick a lot, too. Morning sickness is brutal. It can take a lot out of you." Haley absently stroked her niece's soft blonde hair. "Will you be getting the results soon? Of the paternity test?"

Lucas jerked his head up and met his sister-in-law's warm brown eyes. "They said up to four weeks...I'm hoping to hear something in the next few days."

Haley nodded, offering him a small smile which was meant to be reassuring, but fell short. "What are the chances that Peyton was lying to you?"

"Pretty low." His eyes darkened as he lost himself in the memory of the argument leading up to the car accident that claimed Peyton's life. "Apparently, she was looking to sue for full custody and sever my parental rights once she left me. She told Derek she could prove that Sawyer was not my daughter, clearing the way for Jake to adopt her."

Haley was stunned. "Oh my god, Lucas. I'm so sorry."

He shrugged and turned his gaze back to the sleeping baby in the bassinette. "I'm dealing with it. It helps that I have you, Nate and Brooke – especially Brooke. She saved my life, Haley. I don't deserve her; god knows I've hurt her enough over the years. I'd be falling apart if it wasn't for her...and the baby."

Haley cocked her head to the side. "Are you sure you're not looking at this baby as a replacement for Sawyer if it turns out that Julian is her biological father?"

Anger coursed through Lucas' veins, flushing his face with colour. "No one could replace Sawyer and the love I have for her. Yes, I am ecstatic that Brooke is pregnant with my child – I've always dreamed of having a child with her, even back in high school. I can't wait for this baby to join our family – and for Sawyer to have a little brother or sister. She might not be mine biologically, but I still consider her to be my child in every other sense. I was there when she was born; I change her diapers, help out with the late-night feedings and comfort her when she cries. In my mind, she's still my daughter and the very idea that she could be easily replaced is just –"

"Luke, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by what I said...It's just that this pregnancy happened awfully fast. I don't want you or Brooke to get hurt, because it's not just you two; there's Sawyer and the newest little Scott to consider." Haley reached for Lucas' hand. She sighed, as he pulled away from her grasp. "I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, Luke. I hope things work out the way you want them to."

Lucas exhaled heavily and stared up at the ceiling, avoiding Haley's pleading expression. He knew she didn't mean any harm by what she had implied; she was only looking out for him. Still, it bothered him that people would think that he would actually try to replace one child with another. He was reminded of the concerns Brooke brought up earlier in the day; about what other people would think of their relationship.

"Just kiss and make up already!" Brooke's voice, thick with fatigue, finally shattered the uncomfortable silence between the two friends. "I am trying to get some sleep since this baby is making me so damned tired all the time and all your arguing isn't helping!"

Lucas and Haley turned to find the petite brunette sitting up on the couch, her hair tousled and falling in her eyes, with an extremely pissed-off look on her face.

"What?" she demanded, seeing their astonished expressions. "It's freezing in here! Jeez, Hales, Hotshot makes enough money to turn the furnace on once in a while."

Haley rolled her eyes and tried to hide her grin. "Hormones. Your problem now, bud." She muttered just loud enough for Lucas to hear. "Sorry, Tigger. I thought the doorbell ringing and two screaming babies would have done more to disturb your beauty sleep than our little discussion. I'm going to see what's keeping my darling husband. Have fun, Luke!" Haley giggled as she turned and left the room.

"Argh!" Brooke threw a cushion at Haley's retreating figure, before slumping down on the couch. "Hormones, my ass." She muttered, with a glare on her face.

"You know, you're cute when you're grouchy." Lucas smirked, shaking off his discussion with Haley. Brooke always had a way of making everything seem better. He sat down next to her on the couch and put his arm around her.

Brooke squirmed out of his embrace, pouting. "No, get away from me. It's all your fault."

"What's all my fault?" Lucas grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back towards him.

"I'm tired and grouchy because of _your_ baby. You knocked me up; so it's your fault." Brooke jabbed him in the chest with a perfectly manicured index finger.

"Let me make it up to you, then..." Lucas whispered in a husky voice, kissing Brooke softly on the lips.

* * *

Dan was opening his mouth to formulate a response to Nathan's challenge when Haley appeared at her husband's side.

"Nathan, it's getting cold in here. Why on earth are you standing there with the door wide open?" She stopped in her tracks and her jaw dropped, as she took in the sight of her father-in-law. "Oh. My. God. What the hell is he doing here?" she hissed.

"And hello to you, too, my darling daughter-in-law. I see you still haven't learned any manners over the past few years. You're still the same trailer trash that got a tramp stamp and vomited in my lap before seducing my teenage son into marriage." Dan snarled.

Haley gasped and Nathan gently pushed her behind him, shielding her from Dan's view. "You know, you're not helping your case, Dan. You say you want to meet your grandchildren and in the next breath you insult their mother and aunt." Nathan's voice dropped dangerously, his eyes darkening to a deep cobalt colour. "I'm giving you thirty seconds to tell me why you're here or else, I'm calling the police and having you arrested for trespassing."

Dan and Nathan stared at each other for a few moments, icy blue clashing with dark cobalt. Haley held her breath, her hand resting protectively on his left forearm. Nathan watched his father carefully, his muscles coiling with tension. His heart began beating faster and an overpowering feeling of dread settled over him. Whatever had brought Dan Scott to his front step on this December evening was about to flip their lives upside down.

Dan wordlessly reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a folder. He handed it to Nathan, who opened it, reluctantly. Dan smirked in satisfaction, as Nathan's eyes widened in surprise. Haley glanced at the contents of the folder and then looked up at Dan, her brown eyes filled with an odd mixture of anger and sadness. She shook her head and exhaled sharply, her nostrils flaring slightly.

"So...willing to let me in now?" Dan demanded in a smarmy tone, snatching the folder and its contents out of Nathan's slack hands.

The couple stared at each other, in silent communication. Finally, Nathan heaved an angry sigh and took a step backwards. "Fine. Come in." He growled, reluctantly.

As soon as Dan stepped over the threshold into the foyer, Nathan shut the door firmly behind him. Dan moved to follow Haley down the hallway, but Nathan grabbed his arm. Dan looked up at him, with mild surprise.

"This is my home. _My_ family. Just remember that you're the intruder, here. I'm only allowing you inside so you can explain yourself to Lucas before he rips you limb from limb." Nathan scowled at his father before abruptly releasing him from his grasp.

* * *

"Goddamn it!" Millie cursed, throwing her cell phone down on the desk.

Rachel raised an eyebrow upon hearing Millie's uncharacteristic outburst. Millicent Huxtable never swore – unless she was angry or extremely intoxicated. Rachel frowned. Millie was definitely not drunk; that could only mean that the e-mail Tatiana sent contained seriously bad news.

"So? What's the big emergency?" Rachel asked coolly, trying to hide her curiosity.

Millie jumped and spun around in her chair, her hand at her throat. "Don't you know how to knock? You scared me to death!"

Rachel shrugged. "You gave me a spare key, so I used it. Besides, who else would it be?" She smirked mischievously, seeing her chance to calm her friend down. "I suppose it could have been Mouth. Oh, I bet you guys have been having some kinky fun – maybe he's the intruder and you're the innocent business woman –"

Millie's lips twitched as she tried to hide a smile. "Shut up, Rach."

"Just saying...you were pretty jumpy when I came in. Plus, you were cursing like an old sea captain. What's going on?"

Millie sighed and shook her head, her expression darkening. "Take a look for yourself." She got up and made her way to the mini bar. She helped herself to a small bottle of Jack Daniels and downed it before taking another.

Both of Rachel's eyebrows flew up in surprise. She moved from her perch on the edge of the bed and slid into the chair Millie occupied before she decided to empty the mini bar. Rachel tore her glance away from her friend and fixed her eyes on the laptop screen in front of her. She had to read the contents of the attached document three times before her brain could make sense of it. Her stomach dropped and she let out a heavy sigh. She closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair.

"Shit."

"You're telling me." Millie handed her a mini bottle of tequila. "You really didn't know?"

Rachel twisted off the cap and drained the bottle in one shot. The fiery liquid burned as she swallowed it, warming her insides. She let out a short laugh. "Did you?" Rachel retorted, sharply.

Millie shook her head. "This is bad, Rach. Really bad. And Brooke has no idea. She could lose _everything_."

For the first time in a very long time, Rachel Gatina was rendered speechless. No smart remarks, no snappy comebacks, not one word passed her lips.

The two women stared at each other, in silence, ignoring the incessant ringing of their cell phones as they contemplated their next move.

* * *

"No wonder I have so many grandchildren. You boys are insatiable."

Lucas' head jerked up, as a familiar voice filled his ears. A voice with a familiar condescending tone he hadn't heard in over five years. He froze for a moment. Brooke was staring up at him, her hazel eyes widened. Reluctantly, he pulled himself away from her embrace and turned towards the doorway. Dan Scott stood at the entrance to the room. Lucas' breath slowed as he tried to make sense of the situation. He glanced over at Nathan and Haley, who stood just behind the devil himself. He could feel the anger rolling off his brother and sister-in-law in waves. But, Haley's eyes held an almost sad, regretful expression in their chocolate depths.

That's when he knew – whatever Dan was here for, it wasn't good.

Lucas got to his feet and stared at the man who had the nerve to show his face in Tree Hill after all the evil things he had done. He'd often wondered how he would react if he encountered the sperm donor who murdered the only man Lucas considered a father. He thought about what he'd day; what he'd do. Most often he pictured himself wiping that goddamned smirk off of Dan's face with his fists.

He hadn't laid eyes on Dan since his senior year of high school, shortly before he was arrested for murder. Lucas avoided the trial and subsequent parole hearing, preferring to submit his statements in writing. He knew if he was forced to watch Dan charm his way out of a life sentence, he would have lost his temper rendering his statements ineffective. _'Not that mattered much in the end,'_ he pondered bitterly.

Lucas narrowed his eyes and examined Dan's appearance. He looked slightly older, but he still exuded an arrogant, over-confident aura. He stared into Dan's icy blue eyes – unnervingly similar to his own – trying to find a clue pointing to the reason for his sudden arrival.

A slow smirk spread across Dan's face under Lucas' scrutiny. "Hello, Lucas." He greeted him in a silky tone. "It's good to see you, son. I'm relieved to see you escaped that accident relatively unscathed."

Lucas clenched his left hand into a fist at Dan's statement. He exhaled so sharply his lungs ached. "Strange how you refer to me as your son. You didn't bother to acknowledge me for the first sixteen of my life. You did everything in your power to impress upon me that I was anything _but_ your flesh and blood," Lucas spat out, furiously. "Then, in the course of the two years you were involved in my life, you managed to harm every single member of my family." Lucas's voice was growing louder, as the dormant fury against his father was finally unleashed. "You murdered the only man who was a father to me – your own brother. You nearly destroyed my life, yet you think you have the right to waltz back in whenever you feel like it. Why the hell are you here? Why now?"

Lucas' words hung in the air as he stared Dan down. The elder Scott's expression remained composed; that damned smirk remained firmly in place. There was no trace of regret or remorse. Lucas shook his head, closing his eyes. He didn't really expect Dan Scott to _feel_ those emotions, much less display them. He should know by now that simple humanity was beyond the man standing in front of him.

"Luke asked you a question. Why are you here?" Lucas opened his eyes, smiling gratefully. Brooke stood beside him, her hazel eyes blazing.

"Miss Davis...how nice to see you once again." Dan's eyes roamed up and down Brooke's curvy figure. "You've certainly grown into an attractive woman...especially your skin. It's absolutely exquisite; positively glowing."

Brooke looked repulsed and she shuddered at his oily tone. "You're still as creepy and slimy as ever."

Haley let out a snort of laughter and Dan turned to glare at his daughter-in-law, who just stared him down.

Dan frowned momentarily, his eyes hardening as his smirk slowly returned. "To answer my son's question, I'm here to visit my family; especially the grandchildren I've never met."

Lucas frowned as Dan's cold gaze flickered over to the nearby bassinette where Sawyer lay sleeping.

Nathan moved to stand in front of the bassinette, blocking Dan's view of the three-month old. "You had no interest in meeting them before and, you're not going to meet them today." He crossed his arms, glowering at his so-called father. "Why don't you get to the _real _reason you showed up here?"

Dan heaved a dramatic sigh. "But, family is the reason I'm here, son. It's everything to me." Ignoring the looks of venomous disbelief shot at him from four separate pairs of eyes, Dan seated himself in a nearby armchair. He gazed up at the four younger adults and cocked an eyebrow. "Come on, sit down, and take a load off. Maybe you could fetch me a Scotch and soda, Hillary?"

"You must be getting senile in your old age. It's _Haley_," the honey blonde scoffed at him. "And I am not a cocktail waitress. You're a guest in my home – an unwanted one at that – and if you think you can order me around like a servant –"

Dan rolled his eyes and raised his hands in mock surrender. "Touchy, touchy. Must be all those post-pregnancy hormones," he drawled, cutting off Haley's rant. "I apologize, _Haley_. Well, why aren't the rest of you sitting?"

"I think I'll stand. Maybe it'll force you to get to the point and stop wasting our time." Nathan said, impatiently.

Dan let out a humourless chuckle, noticing that Lucas, Haley and Brooke all copied Nathan's stance. "Suit yourselves; although I think Miss Davis should be seated. She looks a little green around the gills."

"Thanks for your concern, Mr. Scott, but am just fine where I am." Brooke replied in a sarcastic tone. Lucas squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"Yes, I'm sure you are quite..._comfortable_ where you are right now." Dan smirked.

Brooke narrowed her eyes at Dan's emphasis on the word 'comfortable.' What was he getting at? Her mother often used the same tactic – taking seemingly innocuous words and revealing their hidden meaning through tone. It was like a secret code.

There was something about the look in his eyes that set her on edge. She shivered slightly as his gaze crawled up and down her figure. His eyes were so much like Luke's – yet they were a distorted reflection. When she looked into Lucas' eyes, she felt safe and loved; protected. But Dan's gaze left her feeling cold and vulnerable; like she would never be warm again.

Lucas turned and looked down at her, his brow furrowed in an expression of concern. "You okay, Pretty Girl?"

"Luke, I'm fine." Brooke smiled up at him, the warmth of his gaze melting the ice left in the wake of Dan's leer. She did not want to sit down; if she did, it would signify that she was acquiescing to Dan's whims. She was not prepared to let that slime think he held any power over her actions. "Although, maybe it would be best if I take Sawyer upstairs and put her down for the night. I'm sure you and Nate want to take care of taking out the trash." She gave Dan a pointed glare, as she made her way across the room to fetch Sawyer from the bassinette.

Dan stared at the brunette as she lifted Lucas' daughter out of the bassinette and cuddled her against her chest. The baby was fast asleep and Dan felt a small thrill at finally laying eyes on one of his grandchildren. Dan gazed at the infant, noticing how her white blonde hair curled softly. He analyzed the baby's features, trying to find some resemblance to himself or Lucas. As if she could sense Dan's stare, Brooke turned her back to him and started to walk from the room.

Dan frowned. "Miss Davis. I think you should stay. What I need to discuss with my son involves you as well." He smirked, eyes darting over to where Haley stood. "Perhaps Haley would be so kind to take care of my granddaughter. She is family, after all."

Haley let out a sharp laugh and went to stand beside Brooke. "No, Dan, you will never be part of my family."

Brooke's cheeks flushed and she passed Sawyer into Haley's arms. "Thank God he doesn't consider me family…" she muttered, softly.

Haley smiled at her and gave her arm a squeeze. "Try not to let him get to you. He's trying to mess with our heads." She whispered in Brooke's ear.

Brooke just nodded and gave her friend a small smile as she turned and walked out of the room.

"She's a beautiful child." Brooke turned to face Dan, who was staring absent-mindedly at a photograph of Nathan and Lucas on the mantle. "Strange, though...she doesn't look like a Scott."

Lucas and Brooke exchanged a look as she stood by his side again. "She's three months old. It's kind of hard to tell at that age." Brooke replied, gazing into Lucas' eyes.

"I can see a lot of the late Miss Sawyer in her...the hair, the nose, shape of the eyes. But I don't see any of you in her, Lucas." Dan stared at his older son, intensely. "I wonder why."

"Drop it, Dan." Nathan warned, stepping forward.

Dan ignored his younger son and continued his musings. "Could it be the sainted Peyton Sawyer, immortalized in that Harlequin romance disguised as your biography, was less than faithful to her one true love? That she fucked around and got knocked up with another man's child and passed her off as yours?" Dan chuckled.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Brooke hissed at him, seeing Lucas flinch at the cruel words.

"Oh, I think I do. I heard from a very reliable source that Lucas filed for a paternity test about a month ago. I'm guessing you're waiting on pins and needles for the results."

"Don't you ever quit?" This time, it was Nathan's turn to interject.

"But the results don't matter, do they? Not really. Your fiancée dies, you pick up a new plaything-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Lucas shouted, stepping forward, his fists clenched so tightly his knuckles whitened.

"- then, your baby turns out not to be yours, so you conceive a replacement. Did you two wait until after the funeral or were you going at it in your hospital bed? It all seems rather sudden...not to mention completely inappropriate." Dan continued, unfazed by Lucas' outburst.

The colour drained from Brooke's face and she sat down heavily on the edge of the couch, her hand over her mouth. She stared at Dan silently, wondering how on earth he knew about the baby she was carrying inside of her.

"I wonder what your publisher would say about all of this. Isn't there a movie adaptation of _Ravens_ in the works? Do you think these sordid affairs might put that deal in jeopardy?" Dan mused, thoughtfully. "I mean, all your readers fell in love with your story. It would be a pity if their illusions were shattered."

Something inside Lucas snapped. He lunged forward, grabbing Dan by his lapels and jerking him to his feet. "How dare you pass judgement on me, on my life?" Lucas growled. "You have no right."

Nathan stepped forward and put a firm hand on his brother's shoulder. "It's not worth it; he's not worth it."

Lucas closed his eyes for a moment, breathing heavily. Then, without warning, he shoved Dan away from him, forcing the older man to lose his footing, falling back into his seat. "Can we just kick his pathetic ass out of here, now?"

"Not yet, Lucas." Dan straightened his lapels and reached into the bag propped up beside his chair. He pulled out a red folder and looked down at it, thoughtfully. "Earlier, you accused me of ruining your life; of hurting your family – _our_ family. But the truth is, you're responsible for your own actions, your own life, and your own happiness. You've made quite the mess this time, son. As damaging as these dramatics are to your own career, they'll inflict fatal damage to Miss Davis' reputation...After all, she's the one who abandoned a multi-billion dollar company to play house with her dead best friend's fiancé for the past month and a half."

Brooke's head snapped up and she stared at Dan, her brown eyes filled with horror. "What have you done?" she whispered, quietly. Lucas' stomach dropped, seeing the expression on her face. He joined her on the couch and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Dan tossed the folder on the coffee table in front of them. "See for yourself."

Brooke tentatively reached over and opened the folder. She gasped sharply and closed her eyes for a second. "This can't be happening..." she murmured.

Lucas gazed over her shoulder and clenched his jaw as he examined the contents of the folder. Brand new issues of five major tabloids – and he and Brooke were on the cover of every single one. Brooke's hands were shaking as she picked up a copy of Us Weekly. A photo of him and Brooke embracing on a street corner was plastered on the cover. His stomach dropped, as he recognized their surroundings. The picture was taken in front of Brooke's doctor office; after the first prenatal exam.

"They'll be on every newsstand tomorrow morning." Dan drawled, staring at Brooke intently, gauging her reaction.

"Why are you doing this?" Brooke hissed in a raspy voice. "What are you getting out it?"

"That's the million dollar question, isn't it?" Dan got to his feet and reached into his bag. He pulled four small brightly wrapped boxes from the bag and set them on the coffee table. "Gifts – for the grandchildren." Seeing the astounded expressions on his sons' faces, Dan smirked. "What? Christmas is coming."

"Get. Out. Now." Nathan growled, standing in front of his father.

Dan raised his hands and backed away from Nathan. "Fine, I'll go – for now. But rest assured, I won't be disappearing from your lives anytime soon." He shot a final smirk at his sons. "I'll show myself out."

As Dan's footsteps echoed down the hallway, Lucas tried to wrap his mind around the method to his father's madness. It was maddening...why was he so determined to hurt them? Hadn't he done enough to them over the years? He tightened his hold on Brooke and kissed her on the temple. She was shaking, and Lucas' heart ached for her. He hated that Brooke, Sawyer and the unborn baby were being caught up in Dan's insane plotting. Why? Why was he out to destroy Brooke's career? It made no sense. Then again, when had Dan's actions ever made sense?

He sighed heavily and squeezed his eyes shut.

At least they had enjoyed that one fleeting moment of familial peace earlier...Lucas had a feeling it would be a long time before any of them experienced such perfect contentment again.

* * *

"_I will never be safe. I will never be sane. I will always be weird inside. I will always be lame. Now, I'm a grown man with a child of my own. And, I swear I'll never let her know all the pain I have known."_


End file.
